Living with a Purpose | Mufti Abdul Rahman Waheed | Jummah Khutba at ISNA Canada

Living with a Purpose

My dear brothers and elders and sisters in Islam, one time a man came to the Prophet ﷺ while he was sitting, and he asked him the most interesting question. But the Prophet ﷺ — many years before, more than 20 years before this question — he was already instructed by Allah:

That if someone comes to ask you a question — doesn't matter how irrelevant, doesn't matter how the question seems to be, whether it's at the right time or the wrong time, whether it's being repeated over and over again — oh Prophet of Allah, never make someone who's asking a question feel uncomfortable.

And if this advice was just taken by all parents — when their children keep asking them, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? How far are we?" — and if parents just stayed quiet in the back instead of making their children feel uncomfortable for asking. If we took the prophetic approach towards the سَائِل — the one who's asking — which is لَا تَنْهَرْ: don't make them feel uncomfortable, make them feel comfortable. Go ahead, ask whatever you want.

So this person comes and asks a question which is very interesting. I don't have any factual evidence for this, but I do believe that most — I'm from America, so I'm not going to talk about Canadians — that maybe we're from the lineage of this person who asked the question, because maybe we would have asked the same question.

He goes to the Prophet and he says:

Literally — you know, we put it into context — this man walks up to the Prophet ﷺ. We would give up anything in our life to spend a second with him. Anything in this world. And anyone sitting in this masjid would say that. Imagine you have a moment with him, and in that moment you tell him: "Oh Prophet of Allah, give me advice — make it concise. I don't have time." أَنْصِحْنِي وَأَوْجِزْ — give me advice but make it concise. This seems very American. We don't have more capacity to listen in 10–15 minutes. So what can I share with you in 15 minutes?

The Prophet ﷺ — first of all, he did not even need to say a single word. Just his presence was enough to advise people:

If the Prophet ﷺ never said a single word in his entire life, just the sight of him was enough for someone to transform their life. Just looking at his beautiful face was enough to change a life.

Abdullah ibn Salam says: "I decided that I was not going to accept Islam. But everyone told me this is Muhammad ﷺ — he's coming from Mecca. I said, let me go give him a shot. Let me go see him. Let me go see how he looks." He says, "Wallahi, the moment I looked at his face —

"I was convinced that this face is not the face of a liar."

Tufayl ibn Amr al-Dawsi — who was told by the people of Mecca: "Be careful, you're very smart, you're a leader of your tribe. This man in Mecca right now — he's a magician, he's a fortune teller, he's a poet, he casts spells on people." He said, "If he's that bad, then I'm going to put cotton swabs in my ear. I'm not going to even risk the chance of me exposing myself to hear the words of Prophet ﷺ unintentionally." So he put cotton swabs in his ear the whole time he was there. Three days he lived there. On the third day he was in Mecca doing tawaf of the Ka'bah, and he saw the beautiful face of the Prophet ﷺ. And the moment he saw it, he said, "Who are you?" He was told, "This is Muhammad ﷺ." He said: مَا عِنْدَكَ يَا مُحَمَّدُ؟ — "What do you have to offer?" A few moments later, he accepted Islam.

The Feeling of Medina

Brothers and sisters, today — even when we go to Medina Munawwara — what feeling do we have the moment we step into the city, the moment we see the green dome? There is an Urdu poet, Iqbal Azeem, who is blind. And this blind man is saying:

He says — and he can't even see — "The moment my eyes fall upon the green dome, in principle I should actually fall in sajdah doing shukr to Allah, that 'Oh Allah, thank you for allowing me to come here and visit the blessed city of the Prophet ﷺ.' But oh Allah forgive me, I can't do that. But oh Allah, my eyes are fixated on this masjid, on this beautiful city. And my tears that are coming down my eyes are falling in sajdah out of gratitude towards you."

So we feel a transformative feeling the moment we walk into the city. But imagine walking into the city and seeing the Prophet ﷺ.

The Prophet ﷺ did not have to say much — كَانَ سُكُوتُهُ أَكْثَرَ مِنْ كَلَامِهِ — the Prophet's silence was far more than his speech. That's the way he operated, that's the way he lived. The people would just see him and sit with him.

The Sahabah were asked: "How is it so that you people have reached such a lofty status, and the people after you — they can do more ibadah, they can do more sadaqah, they can do more everything — but they can never reach your level?" They would simply reply:

"We actually saw those beautiful faces. I saw Abu Bakr. I saw Umar. I saw the Prophet ﷺ. It's different when you see — and that sight changes your life."

So the Prophet did not have to give any advice, but he gave it anyway. For him to give advice in a concise manner was very easy, because Allah gave him the miracle of saying so much with so few words.

The Three Advices of the Prophet ﷺ

First Advice: Expect Nothing from Anyone

The Prophet ﷺ gave him three advices, which I share with you today. First he said:

"My friend, never expect anything from anyone." Anyone. Unequivocally. Don't have expectations from your friends, don't have expectations from your children, don't have expectations from each other. Why? Because everybody is weak — only Allah is strong. Everybody is dependent — only Allah is independent.

I used to hear my mother making this du'a since I was a child, and I never understood what du'a she was making. She used to say: "Oh Allah, never make me dependent on someone who is dependent." Oh people — you are all faqeer. Faqeer in Arabic doesn't mean the same as in Urdu. Faqeer in Arabic means the one whose spinal cord is fractured. When that happens you're paralyzed — you're depending on others, you can't do anything for yourself. Allah is saying all of us are dependent on Allah. Maybe we don't see it right now because we're walking and talking. But look at babies — their hands don't have the strength to grasp, their feet don't have the strength to walk, their jaws don't have the strength to chew, they don't have teeth to eat with. They're completely dependent on someone who's taking care of them.

Allah is saying: throughout your life, you're just like that baby, but you don't realize it. Maybe you can walk here, maybe you can drive here, but if you put yourself in those shoes, you are that baby — 100% dependent. And Allah says if you forget that, then look at the three phases of life — when you're an infant and when you're old age:

Allah says in Surah Ya-Sin: the one whose life we prolong, their health starts deteriorating. You start seeing — no 15-year-old kid is going to Turkey to get hair transplants. You start seeing before I was sitting on the floor, now I'm sitting on a chair. Before my jump shot was perfect, now I can't get off the ground. And slowly the only difference is: when you were a baby, your mother was pushing you in a stroller; when you're old, your child is pushing you in a wheelchair. Both are getting pushed. But throughout our life, we're also being taken care of. So Allah tells us to look at these two phases.

So the Prophet ﷺ is saying: don't expect anything from anyone. Don't expect someone to thank you. The brothers and sisters in Islam are known for their volunteer work. You volunteer at Islam, you do something at the masjid — if the expectation is that one of the scholars is going to sit with you and thank you and acknowledge you, the Prophet ﷺ is telling us: don't do that. Because anytime you expect something, you will always be disappointed. And anytime you accept, you will always be happy. So just change — expect to accept.

You're at a wedding and you're expecting someone to come and give you a gift. That person comes — the expectation is he's going to give me 100 US dollars. But he comes and gives you 10 Canadian dollars. That guy still gave you 10 dollars. But the problem is you were expecting something else. And that expectation makes you ungrateful, makes you lose appreciation. And that is one thing we cannot afford — when you have expectation, it loses gratitude and appreciation.

اجْمَعِ الْيَأْسَ مِمَّا فِي أَيْدِي النَّاسِ — don't expect anything from anyone, don't expect anything from this world. Because the only matlub — the one that is worthy of being the one we work for, struggle for, and sacrifice for — is Allah. And Allah is:

Allah is strong. So those who seek Him, Allah will give them strength as well. The people of Gaza — are seeking what? They are seeking the pleasure of Allah. They are seeking the liberation of Aqsa. They are seeking martyrdom. Yes, the whole world is against them, but they're strong — they're strong because they have Allah. They get strength from Him. It's not like they have eight-foot bodies and eat more than us or sleep more than us. No — they eat the same food, much less. They sleep in much less space.

If I came here right now and didn't sleep for 24 to 48 hours and had to give a khutbah, I couldn't even give a khutbah. And these people operate much better and more efficiently than this — with less sleep, with less food, with loss of loved ones.

Wallahi, my youngest brother — three and a half years ago — passed away. He was 22 years old. Wallahi, us brothers and family who have a house, who have parents, who have food, who have friends — we could not operate for months after we buried him. How is it possible that the people of Gaza continue to operate, even though they buried loved ones after loved ones, one after the other?

You know why? Because the conversations there are different. When my brother passed away, a Palestinian came to my dad — my dad's a physician — and he says to him: "Doc, should I tell you something?" He was the one who informed my father about his son leaving this world. You know how difficult that is — to tell a parent that your son has passed away? May Allah never put us in that position, to hear and to see the reaction of a mother and a father. It's a very difficult position to be in. But you know how he told my father? He said: "In Palestine, this is how we tell people about these situations." He said: "Oh doctor, I'm not sure if I should congratulate you or give you condolences. Congratulations — you're the father of a shaheed."

Allah said — it changes everything. Because that gives you strength: "I know I'm the father of a shaheed. I'm the mother of a shaheed." So the Prophet ﷺ is saying — if you expect things from people, it will make you weak. But if you only expect from Allah, it will give you the strength you need to go through life.

Second Advice: Guard Your Words

The second advice he gave:

He said: "My friend, don't say anything today that you will have to apologize for tomorrow." Don't. Restrain yourself. Words hurt. The wounds of a sword, the wounds of a blow — they can be healed. But a word? The wounds of words are harder to heal over time. So restrain yourself — don't just say something.

And this is a beautiful lesson for all of us. I've thought about it many times, and one of our teachers would tell us: if you're going to say something that might be rude — or even just neutral — don't ever text it, don't ever put it in words in writing. You can say it in person, because a person can take it the wrong way. The things that you have to say in text or emails has to be a hundred percent a positive thing. Even then, a spouse can take it the wrong way: "Where are you?" Someone can interpret that very differently depending on their state of mind.

That's why قَوْلٌ حَسَنٌ is not just a beautiful word — it's also putting it in a beautiful way. Not just saying a beautiful thing, but a beautiful word delivered in a beautiful manner.

When my brother passed away, we went back on our phones and looked at our messages between each other. Wallahi, if your loved one passes away and you go back and look at messages, and those messages are rude to each other — you will really regret it. And now there's no way to apologize. I've seen many people come to the graves of their loved ones, and I ask them what are you doing — read Fatiha. And most of the time they're just saying, "I'm sorry." They're apologizing too late. "Look at this message I sent to him right before he passed away — I said I don't want to see your face again." Don't do that.

However, brothers and sisters sitting here — if someone apologizes to you, you have an obligation to forgive them. The Prophet said:

The Prophet ﷺ said: if someone apologizes to you for something and you don't accept their apology — don't dare come to my pond on the Day of Judgment. It takes humility to apologize. So once they apologize, you don't have to become friends with them, but you accept their apology.

Third Advice: Pray Every Salah as if It Were Your Last

The third advice — and I conclude with this, and it's a beautiful conclusion:

The Prophet ﷺ said: "Oh my friend, when you stand for Salah — stand as if this is the last Salah you will ever pray in your life." What does that mean? He is basically saying: cherish every moment. And the way you cherish every moment is you believe that this moment will never come again — you soak it in.

How does a father and mother walk into the hospital room of their child who has stage 4 cancer, and the physicians have told the family that we have to pull the plug — go sit with him, you have a few minutes left? When you walk into that room — the father is standing there, the mother is standing there, the mother who gave birth to this child, the sister, the cousins — and they believe that this is the last time they will ever see their loved one in this life. Are they on their phones? Are they talking to each other? Are they checking scores? Are they on social media? They are fixated on that person to such a point where they can even observe: "Oh, I said this and he moved his eyes." Because they are observing every single thing, because they are taking this moment as a last moment.

Abdullah ibn Abbas — when he was asked: "How did you attain so much knowledge?" — he said: "Half of my knowledge was through asking good questions, and the other half was through keen observation of the Prophet ﷺ."

The Prophet ﷺ used to have three vessels under his bed — one vessel was used for wudu, one vessel was used to use the restroom, one vessel was used for drinking water. All three vessels looked exactly the same. All three vessels had almost the same amount of water. Abdullah ibn Abbas — as a nine-year-old child, according to some narrators even eight years old — he observed this practice of the Prophet ﷺ at night. He could have been sleeping. He observed all these things. And one night the Prophet ﷺ went to the restroom, came out, and this nine-year-old child was standing there with the vessel — the right vessel for wudu. He had observed the right one. He observed the right time — he knew what time the Prophet ﷺ wakes up without having to ask. And the third thing he observed was how much water he uses. So: the right vessel, the right time, and the right amount of water.

The Prophet ﷺ, upon seeing this observation of this child, at that very moment made du'a for him:

"Oh Allah, make him the greatest 'alim of this Ummah, and make him the greatest faqih, the jurist of this Ummah, and the mufassir of this Ummah." And this right here is not asking for du'a — this is earning du'a. There's a difference. One is you ask someone for du'a — that's a beautiful thing. One is you earn someone's du'a.

We ask parents whose children become hafidh and alim — we're young people, we're no one to make this claim — but living in America, my mother and my father were physicians. At that time there was no school. I asked my mother once: "How do you think — a lot of parents ask me tips for how to be a good parent, what should we do, what should we not do. Can you just give me some advice? How did you do it? Five children — hafidh, alim, one shaheed." And she said very simply: "This was the result of earning other people's duas. Serve them, be there for them, help them. What do you think they're going to do? They can't give back to you — they'll make du'a for you. And their duas have a higher chance of being accepted for your children than your own duas."

So this observation — when the Prophet is saying: when you stand for Salah, pray as if this is your final Salah — what happens when you do that in life? Right now you're sitting in front of me. Wallahi, this could be the last time we ever see each other — and no one can say it can't be. If we come for Jummah khutbah every single week and we convince ourselves that this could actually be the last time I hear a khutbah, you will observe the khatib more, you will pay more attention, you will benefit more.

Similarly for the khatib himself — if he comes with the same conviction. If we go out to eat dinner with our wife or husband — we're at a restaurant, we're waiting for the food — imagine: this could be the last minute you see your spouse. I don't think we'll be on our phones. I think we'll be looking at each other, talking to each other. We will lose this whole disorder of people who are present but absent-minded — this plague that has enveloped the entire Ummah, where people are present but absent-minded. And the only way to solve that problem is to follow the hadith of Prophet ﷺ: make this moment a moment that you cherish, because it could be the last moment of your life.

A Story from Rawdah al-Jannah

I'll conclude with this. One of my students — he was a youngster at that time — I took him to Medina Munawwara for Umrah, and we got into Rawdah al-Jannah. May Allah take all of us there over and over again. We get there, and this is his first time coming. I told him ahead of time: "We have to get there — any du'a you make there, Allah accepts." So we get there. He is standing next to the hujrat of the Prophet ﷺ on the left-hand side, so you can see the Prophet's room right there. I'm standing next to him on this side.

Right before he starts praying, he raises his hands — he was probably 18 years old at that time — he raises his hands and says: "Oh Allah, I beg you — take my soul in this Salah. Oh Allah, I beg you, I want to die in this Salah. I beg you Allah. I'm not asking you for anything else."

Now I'm standing next to him — I'm married to his sister — I said, "This guy better survive, I have to take him back." But I'm not going to tell him, "Brother, don't make that du'a." That's between him and Allah. He starts praying. Alhamdulillah, he survived.

He went to the hotel. He's in the hotel saying, "Man, I made du'a, Allah didn't accept it." So now I'm telling him the whole workshop on the delay of acceptance of du'a — I'm giving him it all right there. But then I really wanted to ask him a question. So when he was done with his questions, I said: "Habibi, tell me — how was that salah?" Because he was convinced — he was very naive — and he was convinced that any du'a he makes at that moment will be accepted. So he was fully expecting to die.

And he said: "Sheikh, the moment I started, I thought I was going to die. Then I went into ruku — I was like, Malak al-Mawt is coming right now, and I'm waiting. How is he going to look? Where is my soul going to leave from? I heard it leaves from the feet." He says, "I got up. Sajdah. And like this, my entire Salah was in anticipation for Malak al-Mawt."

This is how the Sahabah prayed Salah every day. This is how the people of Gaza pray Fajr every single day. They're praying Taraweeh differently than us. They're praying Taraweeh while they can hear drones all around them. They could die right there. But do you think they want to die while praying a Salah that is not acceptable to Allah? Or are they praying a Salah in which they say: "Oh Allah, I'm praying this as my last Salah"?

When Saeed ibn Jubayr told Hajjaj: "Let me just pray two rakat Salah before I leave this world." And he prays two rakat Salah — he makes them a little fast. He said: "Oh Hajjaj, wallahi, I knew these were my last two rakats. If it was up to me, I would have delayed them. But if I delayed them, you would think I'm afraid of death. That's why I made them quick."

Conclusion: Three Advices to Live By

So — one: don't expect anything from anyone except Allah. Two: don't say anything that you'll have to apologize for — restrain our tongues, restrain our words. Three: cherish every moment by believing this is the last moment — every khutbah, every speech, every Salah, every moment with your spouse, every moment with your children. Don't take it for granted.

May Allah make it easy for us to live our life like this. May Allah give victory to the people of Gaza. May Allah give us a life that is beloved to Him. May Allah give us a death that is honorable — one that will give comfort to our families and elevation in Jannah. Oh Allah, forgive our sins. Oh Allah, the people of Gaza who are suffering for so many months — oh Allah, in our lifetime, help them. And let us pray Salah in a Masjid of Aqsa that is liberated. Oh Allah, the brothers and sisters who are helping and supporting all the masajid, especially the masjid that we are sitting in today — oh Allah, help them and support them, and support all the Muslims who are suffering all over the world.