Living with Purpose | Mufti Abdul Rahman Waheed | Friday Khutbah

The Night of Tabuk: A Scene That Made a Companion Wish for Death

My dear friends, brothers and sisters in Islam, during one of the nights of Tabuk — which was a place very far away from Madina Munawwara — Abdullah ibn Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with him) comes looking for the Prophet ﷺ in the middle of the night in his tent. When he arrives at the tent, he finds that the Prophet ﷺ is not there, so he gets very disturbed. Where is the Prophet ﷺ? This is enemy territory, this is not Madina, this is not a place of peace.

We have to watch our back the entire time. So Abdullah ibn Mas'ud starts running around frantically trying to find where the Prophet ﷺ is. As he's looking for him, he sees a light from a far distance, and he starts going towards that light.

As he approaches towards the light, he sees two people standing — what appeared to him from a far distance — on top of a grave. As he approaches closer, he then confirms that they were actually standing on a grave, on the grave site, and the Prophet ﷺ himself is inside the grave, burying a sahabi. Someone passed away that night, the Prophet ﷺ was there.

And he was preparing the body of the shaheed and placing him in the grave. As he's coming close, he hears the Prophet ﷺ saying, "O Allah, I am pleased with this person, so You be pleased with him as well." And the last thing this person is touching is the body of the Prophet ﷺ. So as he sees this — he sees the people who are preparing the janazah and the burial, Abu Bakr and Umar, they're standing at the foot of the grave. The person who performed the janazah: the Prophet ﷺ. The person who brought the body to the grave: the Prophet ﷺ. The one who's putting the body in the grave: the Prophet ﷺ.

The moment he saw this entire scene — I can guarantee you all of us sitting here today would have also had the same feeling. He said:

"Oh, I wish I was that deceased person." What a beautiful death. Dying in the path of Allah, with Abu Bakr and Umar and the Prophet ﷺ performing the janazah — what a beautiful death.

Imagine being someone in Madina Munawwara, and they say it is time for janazah, and a body is brought, and the Prophet ﷺ stands up, performs janazah salah, and then he helps take the body to Baqi'. So you passed away in the best city in the world. Janazah was led by the best person to ever walk on the face of the earth. He helped carry your body to the best graveyard in the world, and you were buried in Baqi' after the Prophet ﷺ made du'a for you. Of course, the general sentiment of everyone there would be:

"Oh, I wish I was that person." What a beautiful death.

Life Passes Fast — What Matters Is How We Finish

Brothers and sisters in Islam, the reason why I'm thinking of this is because I came to this masjid in 2013. That's when I was young — very young. I'm still very young. 2013. Life goes by so fast. My first time here since then. I gave a khutbah then, and now it's the second time after all those years.

Just reflecting on the way here — life is going, and it doesn't matter what's happening right now in the middle of the game. You have to end the game strong. It doesn't matter when you came, what you were doing as an institution, what we're doing in our life — Allah will judge us based on the way we finish our life.

We as Muslims, sitting in this hall today — every individual — we're all at different levels when it comes to the journey towards Allah.

Some are closer to Allah, some are further. But at the end of the day, the destination is Allah, and Allah will judge us based on the way we are when we leave this world.

And the Prophet ﷺ guaranteed:

The manner in which you live your life is the manner in which you will die.

What matters is the way we leave this world. Wallahi, that's all that matters.

A Personal Story: My Brother's Beautiful Death

My youngest brother — when I came in 2013, he was with me. We were traveling somewhere else, thinking about starting an institution. SubhanAllah. People that are dedicated to Qur'an and hadith — a few years later, he became an alim. He was teaching Qur'an in the morning, and he went to get some medicine for my mother. On the way to my mother's house, he passed away in a car accident. He was only 22 years old. He had become a hafidh, he had become an alim, but he passed away serving the Qur'an and serving his mother.

He told his mother on that Saturday — when she asked him, "Why are you going to the school?" — he said, "Half of my life is to serve you, and half of my life is to serve the students of knowledge." And SubhanAllah, if you calculate the distance between where he passed away, the masjid, and my mother's house — wallahi, he passed away literally halfway. He left teaching in the morning, and he was going to serve his mother. He passed away right in the middle.

This is Allah honoring people who lived their life beautifully — so that they have a beautiful death.

And that is why the Prophet ﷺ used to always make du'a to Allah:

"O Allah, make the best of my life its final part, and make the best of my deeds their conclusions, and make the best of my days the day I meet You."

It doesn't matter what happened in the middle. It doesn't matter how bad we were. When my brother passed away, one person from Palestine was with my father — my father is a physician. And how did he inform my dad that his son had passed away? He said to my dad:

"Doctor, in our country, we're not sure if I should congratulate you or give you condolences." Congratulations — you are the father of a shaheed.

In life, the way you live is a comfort to others. And even the way you die is comforting to others. When a mother finds out that her son was in Madina Munawwara for Umrah, praying Salah in Masjid Nabawi, got sick and passed away there — the news of the death becomes easier and lighter. Versus a mother getting a phone call at one o'clock in the morning that something has happened, and she finds out that her son or daughter passed away in a car accident, driving recklessly — that itself becomes a compounded grief, because they passed away a bad death. May Allah protect us.

The Prophet ﷺ used to make this du'a, and this was the aspiration for every believer. The entire scene that took place in Gaza was a manifestation of husnul khatimah. Every single person leaving this world was leaving with a beautiful death. And we envy them.

Three Advices for a Beautiful Death

Today I'll leave you with three advices that the salaf as-salihin would give to their audiences and their students — advices that would ensure that if you follow them, you will end up dying a beautiful death.

First Advice: Leave Any State You Would Not Wish to Die In

The first is a statement of a tabi'i. Abu Hazim (may Allah have mercy on him) used to say:

"My friend, any act, any state that you would not wish to be dying in — leave that act, leave that state today."

Stop asking a scholar, "Is this halal or is this haram?" Ask yourself: Would I be proud of dying while doing this? If I die while doing this, will my parents be happy with me? Will my siblings be happy with me? Would they be proud to know me? Forget if it's halal or haram — ask yourself, is it worth it?

Yes, you may have family members you might get into an argument with — but do you really want to die, do you really want to leave this world, in a moment in which there is division? The most difficult people to comfort are those whose fathers and mothers pass away, and the children say, "You know, I haven't been talking to my dad for the last six months." Habibi, was it really worth it? "Me and my wife haven't been talking for three weeks" — of course it could be a major thing, but shaitan makes small things major. And now you're just not talking, and the next thing you know, someone passes away. And that regret — that's how I ended my life with this person?

Any state you would not wish to be dying in. Would you be proud dying on a day where you never prayed Fajr salah? Ask yourself that.

One youngster passed away in Phoenix, Arizona — his name was Talha. He was at the Miftah program. His parents were at the Miftah program. And he passed away in a car accident after Isha salah one Saturday. His father — and this was his only son — his father was comforted by the fact that "today my son prayed Fajr, Maghrib, and Isha with me. We did adhkar al-sabah and al-masa' together in the morning, and we also did it before he left the house." That comforted him.

So would you be proud of dying on a day where you missed salah, or where you missed an obligation? Abu Hazim says: anything you won't be proud of when Malak al-Maut comes — leave it now. Prepare yourself for it.

Second Advice: Make Every Day Better Than the Last

The second is a statement of Husayn ibn Ali (may Allah be pleased with him). He used to say:

"Anyone whose two days are equal in terms of good deeds — this person is the greatest loser on this earth." Your today should be better than your yesterday.

If a person makes a habit of making every day better than the day before, then Allah is not demanding perfection from us — Allah demands improvement. And that's a huge difference. Everyone is at a different level.

When Allah says:

"The One who created death and life to see which of you can do the best deeds" — the word ahsan here doesn't mean best. Ahsan means better. Allah just wants you to get better. Whatever level you're at — you work on your left-hand layup for two months, then you start making left-hand layups. You don't have the best layup, but you have a better layup than you had two months ago. And that's all that matters. In our life, Allah just wants us to improve.

Brothers and sisters, I'm married, I know how this works. Our wives are not okay with wearing the same dress to multiple weddings — they're not okay with it. Every year in September or October when the new iPhone comes out, our old iPhone gets possessed by a jinn, and it feels like something's wrong with it, and we want another phone — because we're not okay with having the same thing. Our coat is perfectly fine. Our shoes are perfectly fine. Our car is perfectly fine. But the nature of a human being is that they're not okay with the same thing.

Then how are we okay praying the same salah for the last 20 years? How are you okay with having the same du'a for the last 20 years? If I compare my sajdah today to the sajdah I performed 10 years ago — if I compare my sajdah right now with the sajdah in 2013 when I came to this masjid — is there a big difference? Wallahi, even if there was a small marginal difference every week, every month, there would be a huge difference right now.

So we should not be okay with the same a'mal. We should not be okay if we didn't improve. Husayn ibn Ali says: a person whose two days are equal — that's a problem.

You didn't read Qur'an today? Read one line tomorrow. You didn't speak to your mother today? Speak to her for one minute, kiss her forehead tomorrow. You're living over here and your parents are not here and you're not calling them? Call them tomorrow. Make small improvements. Why? Because that person who makes small improvements every day will actually ensure for themselves a death in which they are in their best state.

Third Advice: Treat Every Moment As If It Were Your Last

And finally, the Prophet ﷺ himself says:

(Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4171; also recorded in Musnad Ahmad)

"When you stand for salah, pray the prayer of one who is bidding farewell" — as if this is the last salah you will ever pray in your life.

Ibn Hajar al-'Asqalani says this is not restricted to salah — that when you stand to pray salah you pray as if it is your final prayer. He says: use this mentality with everything you do in this life.

I right now met Sheikh Abdullah Evans. If I take him for granted and feel like, yeah, I'm going to meet him again tonight, I'll meet him next week at the Miftah program — then my interaction with him right now won't be a full and enjoyable interaction. But if I, in the bottom of my heart, actually believe that this could be the last interaction I have with this man, our interaction will be different.

Just like the person — my father, the cancer specialist, says — just like the person who walks into a hospital room when the doctors tell the family, "You can pay your last visits." When they walk into that room, brothers and sisters, they're not on their phone. They're looking at the person. And you know what's interesting — and I've been through this too much — you stand there, and wallahi, they notice the smallest things: the blink of the eye, where a vein moves, like this. Because they are so focused. Because they know that this is the last time they will see this person in their life.

This is the mentality that the Prophet ﷺ is instilling in every human being.

Umar and Mu'adh: Loving Every Encounter As If It Were the Last

Umar ibn al-Khattab, one morning, came for Fajr prayer. People saw that he was very disturbed — as if he had cried all night. After leading Fajr prayer, he said:

His blood brother had already passed away in the Battle of Mu'tah. So everyone knew he was not speaking about Zayd. People understood that he was probably speaking about Mu'adh ibn Jabal. Someone said:

"He's right here, O Amir al-Mu'minin. Mu'adh is right here." The way he was asking, it was as if he had heard some bad news about him. Umar said:

"Come closer, O Mu'adh." Umar ibn al-Khattab — two adults, Mujahideen, warriors, among the most masculine people you could find on the earth at the time — Umar stands up and says:

"Wallahi, Mu'adh, last night I got into bed and I started thinking about you. I was twisting and turning in my bed out of longing and love for you — because I didn't know if I was going to see you again."

And then they hugged and they cried. Every time they met, it was beautiful — because they knew that this could be the last time they meet.

Versus us, the way we are — we are physically present but mentally absent. We park our cars in the parking lot, but not our thoughts. The way you can overcome that and make every single moment in your life meaningful — right now we are in Jumu'ah today. I urge you all: every time you come for khutbah, for Jumu'ah, start believing that this potentially could be the last time I pray Jumu'ah.

This is exactly the belief of the people of Gaza. One of my students — he's a sheikh — went to Gaza during the last year and a half. He was saying: we were praying Fajr salah in a masjid, and the sheikh, the imam, was reciting Surah Yasin, finishing the last verses:

At that very moment, they heard a thunderous sound next door. The buildings next door were demolished. My student said: "Wallahi, nobody even flinched." Because they said: if we're going to die, we die in salah.

Lessons from Christchurch: The Lasting Impression

When I went to New Zealand after the Christchurch shooting — I went there two days after the massacre — the people who had lost loved ones were easier to comfort. They were honored. I was offered kunafa by one of the mothers who had lost her son and grandson in the masjid. But she was so honored that her son and grandson had passed away in such a beautiful manner.

But you know who was more difficult to comfort? The person — and we can't judge them, but I'm just saying — the person who was praying salah next to the one who passed away, and the moment he heard the shooter come in, he jumped out the window. And now he is living with survivor's guilt: Why didn't Allah choose me to become a shaheed in the masjid? Why didn't I get a husnul khatimah? That person was more difficult to comfort. "It's okay, it's fine, Allah will give you another opportunity."

The Prophet ﷺ says: when you do anything, do it as if this is your last time ever doing it. Because yes, in this country we say your first impression is your last impression. But wallahi, your last impression is your lasting impression. People remember the last time they met you. When someone leaves this world, you always remember the last time.

My Brother's Last Words to Me

When my brother (rahimahullah) passed away, the night before — at 2 o'clock in the morning — I was leaving from my mother's house and going to the front door. This was a 22-year-old young man — a hafidh, an alim. He notices, because people who are present notice things. People who are absent don't notice things.

Once, one of the salaf as-salihin — a man came to him, a friend, asking for 400 dirhams. He said, "No problem." He went inside, weighed the 400 dirhams, came out and gave it to him. The moment he walked back into his house, he started crying. His wife said, "Well, if it was that difficult to give, why did you give him? You're crying like a baby now — you shouldn't have given him." He said, "Wallahi, I'm not crying because I gave him money. I'm crying because he's my friend, and I didn't notice he needed money. Why did he have to ask me? I'm crying because of that. I didn't notice he needed something?"

Notice. You start observing things around you — without the person having to ask you — and you're there for them.

So my brother — he noticed that I had not walked in from the front door and had walked in from the garage. He ran to the garage, picked up my shoes, and by the time I got to the front door, he had placed my shoes next to my feet. I put my arm around him and said, "Rahim, you don't have to do that anymore — you're a shaykh now."

And he said, "Bajan, you're still my older brother."

That was the last thing he ever said to me. He passed away the next morning.

Conclusion

Allah gives beautiful deaths to beautiful people who make an effort. No one's perfect, but you keep improving. Any state that you don't want to be in when Malak al-Maut comes — start leaving those states. Start improving. And then start making every encounter, every moment, every salah, every Ramadan, every 27th night, as if this could potentially be your final time enjoying these moments. Those who follow these advices and these tips — insha'Allah, Allah will grant us husnul khatimah.

May Allah give us the best life and the best death. May Allah make us among those who leave this world smiling and meet Allah smiling. May Allah make us among those who leave this world making our parents, our siblings, and our children proud — and making Habibullah ﷺ proud.

We will all stand in front of the Prophet ﷺ. May Allah make us among those through whom the Prophet ﷺ is honored when he sees us, and not embarrassed. May Allah make us among those who are reunited with our loved ones in Jannah, together with the Prophet ﷺ. Ameen. Rabbil Alameen.