What I Learned from Khabib Behind the Scenes w/ Mufti Abdul Rahman Waheed

Understanding a Verse of the Quran in an Unlikely Place

While I was in Vegas, I actually understood a verse of the Quran even more when I was there. If it takes us going to Vegas to understand verses of the Quran, then I don't see Vegas the same way anymore.

I understood a verse. Allah says:

Allah says: "And mention in the Book, Musa — verily he was mukhlasan, and he was a messenger, a prophet."

Mukhlasan — what does mukhlasan mean? It means protected. It means chosen. So why did Allah use this word talking about Musa, peace be upon him? You know, we're always like: how can I protect my children in this country? Public school, Islamic school, homeschool — we're all about protecting the faith of our children. Allah is saying: what environment could have been worse than Pharaoh's palace? What environment could be worse than Sin City? But if Allah decides to protect you, Allah will protect you there as well.

How Do You Become Mukhlasan?

First of all, to be mukhlasan — mukhlasan means doing things exclusively. Let me give you an example. I come to Dallas for a program, a seminar, but I also have other plans — I want to go see a friend, go see a car, sit with someone to network for business. I have four or five other things going on. I'm doing something good, but I'm not there exclusively just for that.

Now, compare that to: I come to Dallas just to meet you. I flew in, met you, and left. Wouldn't it make you happier if I just came exclusively just to meet you? That's what mukhlasan means. Sometimes we have to do things just for Allah. We don't go to a program in Toronto because we're going to a restaurant or we have a whole agenda together. Why not just go, sit with the Sheikh, learn, and come right back? That's what mukhlasan means — you have to start doing things exclusively for Allah.

Number two: you have to continue doing good deeds. Keep adding on, adding on, adding on — because the more good you do, the more tawfeeq you get.

And number three: it is when people are grateful to Allah for the worship they're doing. There is a du'a that Mu'adh ibn Jabal was taught by the Prophet, peace be upon him, after worship — to be grateful for the worship that we're doing. Appreciate the fact that you're sitting in a gathering of dhikr. Be grateful when you come out of Jumu'ah. After every Jumu'ah you should pray two rak'ahs of shukar. Be grateful. The fact that you did something good is a tawfeeq from Allah, and as Allah says:

"If you are grateful, I will surely increase you." When you appreciate, Allah allows you to do more. So this is also true for ibadah.

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What I Learned from Khabib Behind the Scenes

You should always have your learning cap on. You can learn from anybody. We have to replace two things: we have to replace always wanting to speak with always wanting to just listen, and we have to replace always wanting to teach with always wanting to learn. You get better in life with that. Then you can learn from anyone.

Yes, I was with Khabib. I met him in Las Vegas — I was in Jama'at over there — then we ate dinner together, and I ended up being in the right place at the right time. I met him while I was already in Arizona, our flight was back, and then he told me they were going skiing. So I went. SubhanAllah, we went skiing.

We see Khabib walking out with Islam, walking out with Omar, walking out with Usman — we see them with their training caps on, saying, "I'll smash Dustin, Tony, everyone in one night, anywhere." That's one element of theirs. Alhamdulillah, I had the opportunity to spend time with them behind the scenes, and quite frankly, I learned a lot. I learned a lot from their habits, their personality — because we can portray an image publicly, but privately is different. And I was with them privately.

The First Lesson: Salah is Everything

For them, it all starts with Salah. Everything starts with Salah. I asked him a question — I was sitting with him in the car going to Vegas from Park City. I said to him: "So many people want to meet you, people want to ask you for things, randos wanting pictures and this and that — how do you determine who to keep close to you, who to talk to, who to move on with?"

He gave me a blank stare and said: "Just look at his Salah. That's it."

I was shocked by his answer. He said: "I'm not the judge of people's hearts. But if the person cannot pray Salah on time — not just praying, but cannot come early, cannot stay later, and is rushing through Salah — then what do you think he will do with other things in his life? He's going to do everything recklessly."

Then I told him: "You know what you just said is actually a statement of a scholar." He said — and I won't forget this — he said: "If you see someone wasting their Salah, then remember this person will also waste everything else. And the other things he will waste even more."

I saw them — they arrived in Park City and the first thing they needed was a place in the home set aside for prayer. We're here right now in an Airbnb. He walked in, and the first thing before anything else — finding the Qibla, laying the sheets down, the imam's spot already done. Not "I did that" — we did that. That's the difference.

And he chose an Airbnb over a hotel because — and I want you to hear this — he said: "In the Airbnb we can pray together. We can eat together. We can be together."

And check this out: they have timing. Even on vacation, they decided: Fajr is at 7:10 a.m. That is the time. And that first Saturday morning, before 7:10, everyone is in their area and they pray Salah — calm, fresh, early morning. That was the first thing I observed: Salah is everything for them. They love praying together. They love that.

It's not like when we go on vacations and we put our guard down. We have to schedule things around Salah. The Salaf al-Salihin — they would not study from someone until they would see their Salah. Once they saw their Salah, then they said: "Okay, this person is worthy of studying from." So even as families, when we travel, one thing I've learned — decide the timing, decide a place in the Airbnb, decide a place in the hotel. That's what I want to implement when we travel.

The Second Lesson: Respect for Elders

The second thing that was so fascinating was the respect for elders. When I walked into the Airbnb — there was a massive master bedroom on the top floor, all by itself. Naturally, since I got there early, I put my stuff in that room thinking that's Khabib's room. But it is not even a thought for them — everyone already knows.

How many times do we have the problem of arguing about which room we're staying in? Not with them. It's not even a thought. The elder gets the best room, then the next younger, then the next — it goes by age.

Khabib's elder — his name is Muslim, and he is older than Khabib by a few years — Muslim is in the master bedroom. Not even a question. Islam is in the room on the second story. Then there was a person in the room next to him who was younger than me — he moved him and said: "The Sheikh can sleep here," because I was older than him in both age and knowledge. And the younger ones are further down. The respect just flows naturally.

I was sitting with Khabib — this is the week before — and there was a youngster with me, about 18 or 19 years old. We were going to Las Vegas and I was asking him what he was going to do with his life. His parents' business is very successful — I'm talking about a hundred-million-dollar-level business. And this young man says he wants to start a shirt printing business. I didn't say anything to him.

I sat him next to Khabib at the restaurant and I said, "This guy's uncle and dad have this business, and he wants to do his own thing — what do you think?" Khabib said: "Brother, let him go make mistakes and come back, because he's going to come back anyway."

Then I said: "The issue though is that he would love to be in his family's business, but there's a fear of getting told off by his uncle, his dad, his older brother — there's more informality, more pressure." Khabib said something fascinating. He said: "If you get offended or hurt by someone who has proven he loves you — that person loves you, that is established — and then you get offended by what they say, that means you have an ego. Because you know for a fact they don't want any harm for you. Your mom loves you. Your dad loves you. Your teacher loves you. So why would you get offended if they tell you off? Love is already there."

Don't break relationships because of someone overstepping one time when that love is already established. And you know — Abu Bakr and Umar, may Allah be pleased with them both, they were best friends. You think they never got into arguments? They did. It comes in the hadith — Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him, felt he had overstepped, so he went to apologize. He knocked on Umar's door, and when Umar opened it, Abu Bakr said, "I'm sorry." And Umar slammed the door on him after his apology.

Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him, went to the Prophet, peace be upon him — not to complain, but because he wanted the Prophet to mediate so they could become brothers again. Because what good is life with division? There's no taste in life without being together. You go to the best restaurant with the best food after an argument with your wife — it tastes bad. You go to Madinah al-Munawwarah, the most blessed city, after a husband and wife argument — you don't enjoy it the same.

So Abu Bakr goes to the Prophet, peace be upon him. The Prophet realizes — and his face turns red. He gets so angry. And Abu Bakr, who is so close to the Prophet, knows when he is angry. Abu Bakr got on his knees and said: "Ya RasulAllah, it was my fault. It was my fault. Leave him. Don't say anything to him."

The Prophet said: "Leave me my friend alone. He trusted me when no one else trusted me." But you know what people don't mention about this story? What Umar ibn al-Khattab must have felt when Abu Bakr stood up for him. That moment where you know it was your fault, but the person still stood up for you — that develops so much more love. How much do we do that in our lives? That's what Khabib was saying — if someone who loves you oversteps and you get offended, that means your ego is so big that no one can touch it.

Then I said: "What if the elder, the father or uncle — what they're saying is actually wrong? They made a mistake?" Khabib said: "Brother, you already made a mistake — you came after them into this world. Even though it wasn't your choice, your mistake is that you already came after them. So don't say anything to them. They're elders."

That respect for elders — I saw it in his life so powerfully. We drove from Park City to Vegas, six hours. Khabib kept saying, "When we get there, we're gonna eat dinner together." We get to the house, the kitchen is set up — and who is cooking for us? Islam Makhachev. He's about to fight the next week. Wallahi, I wanted to cry.

Spaghetti, meatballs, and soup — just normal food. He's cooking it, serving it. He pulls out the chair, makes me sit, makes all the elders sit — because they're all older than him. And the craziest thing? Islam couldn't even eat that food because he was on weight cut. He's cooking the food, serving the food, but he cannot eat the food.

I found this to be so fascinating. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said:

(Reported in Sahih Ibn Hibban and other collections)

"The baraka is with your elders." That's it.

Ibrahim ibn Sa'd Allah came to Iraq — to Baghdad — and he saw the younger students walking in front of the elders, sitting in the front rows while the elders sat in the back. He said: "You people have no adab for your elders. I will never teach you any hadith." And he never taught them.

The Prophet, peace be upon him, said:

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1919)

"He is not from us who does not show mercy to our young and does not honor our elders."

And the Prophet, peace be upon him, also said that there are three types of people that only a munafiq disrespects:

Number one: an elderly person — someone who has white hair. Number two: a hafiz of the Quran, or a person of deen and Islam. Number three: an imam — a leader who is just. If this is true for general elders, how can you disrespect your own parents? How can you disrespect your uncles and aunts in your own home?

Khabib said to me: "I was always the younger one. Now I'm the older one." That's how it works. You respect, you listen, you follow — and a time will come where Allah puts you in a position where people do that for you too. And of course, the opposite is also true: those who do wrong to others, a time will come when they are wronged.

The Third Lesson: Decision-Making with an Amir

The third thing — and this one is a big deal — is how they make decisions. You know how when we go on trips, we spend half an hour discussing where to get coffee? "Where do you think? I think this place. No, I think that place." With them, there's an Amir — he decides. No going back and forth. The elder decides. Everyone is okay with it.

I loved and enjoyed that experience. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said: if you are traveling and you are two people, make one of them the Amir — the one who decides. It's not always let's discuss this for two hours on the way to Chicago. Of course the Amir might sometimes make a bad decision — he's a human being — but more often than not it will be better for you. You'll save so much time.

When we travel with friends, we're talking for two hours about whether to go jet-skiing first or boating, and there's always bad blood after — "I told you so," all of that. With Khabib — he decides. We're going there at 1:15, this is happening, then this. Done. Decisions are made.

And I think the reason they're good at decisions is because Khabib has to make split-second decisions in the Octagon. His mind is so in tune with making decisions. Indecisiveness is actually a disease — we can't make up our minds. This guy is changing his major ten times, not sure if he should marry this person or that one. The freedom and the liberty of having an Amir, having an elder make the decision — move on. That's something I want to see better in our communities, in schools, in boards. Trust somebody. Know they'll make the right decision. Decide and move on.

The Fourth Lesson: Taking Energy from Each Other

The fourth thing — which I found perhaps the most fascinating — is how they take energy from each other. Many times imams and scholars work together, but we're never together. We're always giving. As a coach, as a scholar, you're always giving. You need some time to be with people who are also giving, so you can receive from each other.

For these brothers, it's part of their life — every training camp, on the weekends, in the evenings, they are just together. And I thought to myself: did the Prophet, peace be upon him, do that? And then when you look into the hadith, you realize there is precedent for this.

Ali ibn Abi Talib, may Allah be pleased with him, when he walks in — after the Prophet, peace be upon him, passed away — he says: "I cannot count how many times I heard the Prophet say: 'Kharajtu ana wa Abu Bakr wa Umar... Dhahabtu ana wa Abu Bakr wa Umar... Ana wa Abu Bakr wa Umar fa'alna kadha...'"

Meaning — there was a larger community, but there was still exclusivity within them. The Prophet, peace be upon him, had Abu Bakr and Umar. There was a circle of closeness. So you take from that — within a larger community, find those people you draw positive energy from and be together regularly.

When I came back to the school right away, I sat with some of our students — first time I sat with them after a long time. And they said: "This gave me so much energy. You sitting with us, talking to us — it really motivated us to keep going. I was getting drained." That element — learning to find time to be together with people who give you positive energy, where there's no gheebah, no backbiting, no negative talk — you just take from each other. And then on Monday morning you are energized and ready to give back.

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Where Does This Wisdom Come From?

Where does someone like him get these qualities — someone who is a public figure, yet has such humble qualities? Without a doubt, he learned so much from his father. His father coached him so often. You don't realize how much this man misses his father unless you're with him. He'll be talking about something and he'll mention his father's story — like this, like that. He had a great father. May Allah have mercy on him.

We owe it to our children to be good fathers. If they see us when we get mad — swearing, loud, shouting — what do you think they're going to do? But if they see us handle our anger differently, that's what they will learn as well.

The second thing is the love they have for each other. They are so bonded together. Allah says:

When you knot something together, it attaches. These people are so tied together that their good qualities are always circulating between them. Not like us — together, but not really together — where sometimes the bad qualities circulate instead.

And the third thing: he is always learning. If he's in his free time, most of the time he's not scrolling Instagram — he's reading, watching videos, sharing deeni messages. Anytime they're free, most of the time they're doing that. They're watching, because they're always learning. They're not teachers — they're always in the position of a learner. When they meet someone like me, they start asking questions. As you keep learning, you keep growing.