A Family's Effort | Mufti Abdul Wahab Waheed | Mercy to Mankind 2021

A Family's Effort

Dear brothers, sisters, elders and youngsters in Islam, all of the praise and all of the beautiful words that are said about Ibrahim عليه السلام — when we speak about his sacrifice, his submission, his ability to turn towards Allah while he was alone, not having much support around him — the praise that we give him in our salat, in our durood, many a times we get fixated and become narrow-minded and tunnel-visioned on who this praise really belongs to, on who this praise is really going towards.

And the concept that I'm referring to is that Ibrahim عليه السلام's greatness, his praise, his blessed life, his sacrifice was an extension of the people that were built around him, was an extension of those that were ready to go to war with him, was an extension of the individuals that were ready to put their lives on the line with him. Therefore, when we read durood, we don't say:

…and stop. Rather, when we read durood, we say:

That, oh Allah, send this praise, these salutations, these words of comfort and peace, not only to Ibrahim عليه السلام but rather to his entire family. Because every single person in that family, every single person that rode that ship, knew that they had one vision in mind, and they had one purpose and one objective of their life — be it sunshine or rain, be it difficulty or ease, be it if it meant that I will live in the city of Makkah alone, be it if it meant that I will put my neck and put a knife on top of it, be it if it meant that I will leave the land of Quds, be it if it meant that I will have to give up my name for the sake of Allah — I will do it.

Every single person in this family was on the same wavelength. And due to every single person in this family being on the same wavelength, Allah brought change through that family. It wasn't an individual effort.

The Uniqueness of Ibrahim's Family Among the Prophets

When we look at the lives and the families of all the prophets, we will not find a single family that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala praises like the family of Ibrahim. Because many prophets came and many prophets had challenges with their own family members, even our own Prophet ﷺ. Came Nuh عليه السلام — the struggle with his son. Came Lut عليه السلام — struggle with his wife. And continuously these struggles came with different prophets.

When Ibrahim عليه السلام went on this journey to turn towards Allah:

When he left his city in Iraq, he said, إِنِّي ذَاهِبٌ إِلَىٰ رَبِّي — I am turning and moving towards my Lord. He did not say, I'm turning and moving towards a specific city or area. I will continue traveling on this journey. I will continuously be beat down on this journey until I am able to meet the pleasure of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

No one told us that the journey of earning the pleasure of Allah was supposed to be easy. No one told us that this journey was supposed to be a journey where there was only flowers and sunshine. No one told us that this was supposed to be a journey where we only laugh and smile and very rarely have to face the reality of crying and tearing. But rather it was quite the opposite where Allah makes a statement clear:

Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says: did the people of Iman truly think that they won't be tested for the words they say and for the Iman that they hold close to their hearts? Indeed, we tested those that came before them and we will continue testing those that are here today so that we can find out who the real ones are. Who are the ones that truly are ready to transform their lives.

Moments of Transformation, Not Just Information

A moment is only special if it's able to continue bringing change in our life. A wedding is special not because the day itself, but because it creates a union that is supposed to last a lifetime. Salat is special not because it's a moment that we merely turn towards Allah for a few moments, but rather it's special because it allows me to reconnect with Allah for the next few hours till I pray again. Hajj is special. These moments where we sit down and speak about the greatness of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala — they are special not because they're moments of information but rather because we yearn that these are moments of transformation. That they bring a change in our life and it becomes a ripple effect to our entire family.

Like how it was for Ibrahim عليه السلام. He left his city on his own — إِنِّي ذَاهِبٌ — I'm going towards Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And the struggle continues in these next two days. You will hear all the stories about his struggle. My topic is not the struggle of Ibrahim, but rather the family of Ibrahim عليه السلام.

The Gift of Ismail and the Trust of Allah

Finally, a time comes where for years he has not been given a child. Some narrations say that he was above 80, some say he was above 90. An elderly man finally being blessed with a child in the form of Ismail عليه السلام. One can only imagine the joy and happiness that a father and mother will feel that they've been blessed with a baby.

And now he's told: though you've been given a child after so many years, it is important for you to know that your son and your wife and your family don't belong to you. They don't belong to me. They don't belong to you. Your children, your family members belong to Allah. This was the message that Allah gave Ibrahim عليه السلام.

Sometimes you say, it's my responsibility. I have to worry about their education. I have to worry about their well-being. Yes, indeed we do. But the responsibility of worrying about their education and their well-being should not be the priority of our life. The responsibility — that who will make sure that these children grow up saying the kalima of la ilaha illallah Muhammadur Rasulullah — that is our responsibility.

After so many years he's been given this child and now he's told: go to a land, travel. Again, with no destination in mind. When we travel, does it ever happen that we travel without a destination? We have a starting part of the journey and we have an end part of the journey. And we won't leave our homes till we know where we are going. Ibrahim عليه السلام is being told: just travel, just go. Don't ask where, don't ask for how long. I will tell you where to stop and when to stop. And at that point you'll be given your next instruction.

This concept and this ideology and this mindset — that one must understand the rational background of a command before implementing it — is barbaric. One must understand who is giving the command. One does not need to understand the complete concept of the command. If the child says that in order for me to do what my mother says, I must understand it — there will be a moment where he or she stops doing what the mother asked them to do. If the child says, I'm doing this because my parents are asking, regardless of what their age is, they will continue doing it. Our submission to Allah is not dependent upon any of our understanding.

Aslim: The Command to Submit

Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala told Ibrahim عليه السلام:

Allah said to Ibrahim — Aslim — the name that we have been given. Aslim, submit yourself.

A submission that is not dependent upon any contingent or any other factor of our life. Submit yourself to Allah. Submit yourself to my command. Ibrahim عليه السلام responded and said: أَسْلَمْتُ يَا اللَّهِ — Aslamtu, meaning I have already submitted.

Say to them, O Muhammad, that my prayer, my life, my family, my children, my wealth, my talents, my goodness — all of it belongs to the deen of Allah. What is a talent if it can only benefit me and my family? What is a skill if it can only benefit an individual? A talent is truly a talent if one can use it and expand it to benefit everyone around them. A skill is truly a skill if one can use it to bring people closer to Allah.

Under the tafsir of the ayah:

The great scholar Ibn al-Qayyim rahimullah says that there is no greater usage of any skill or talent in our life than using that skill or that talent and bringing people closer to Allah. Bringing them closer.

The entire family replied by saying: Aslamtu, Ya Allah, I have already submitted. Tell me what to do. Just give me a sign and you will see how I rush towards competing and completing this act. Allah said, continue traveling.

The Family Must Be on the Same Wavelength

And this concept — that I myself am enough — is true only if one has the intention to continue helping others change. Yes, sometimes you're alone like Ibrahim was in Iraq. But as he moved forward, his intention was to continue helping others. The family is needed to be on the same wavelength. The mother, the father specifically. And then come the children. The conflict between us should never be in our deen. The conflict should be about other things. But it should never be about the deen of my children. If both are on the same wavelength, there will never be a conflict in deen.

The Example of Fatimah and the Prophet ﷺ

When the Prophet ﷺ was approached by his daughter Fatimah رضي الله عنها — after days and weeks and months of struggle, of painful days and nights where her hands became so dry that they would start to bleed — finally, she said to her husband, I have had enough. I will go to my father and say, give me some help. I can't do this anymore. I need some help.

Fatimah رضي الله عنها comes to the Prophet ﷺ. And as she approaches him — the Prophet ﷺ had this sunnah — whenever Fatimah would come to his house, he would stand up for her and he would recognize her through her knock. He would stand up, come to the door, kiss her on the forehead and make her sit on his spot. And whenever the Prophet ﷺ would go to Fatimah's house, she would do the same for him.

Which teaches us: the guest is the king. The guest is the king, not the host. Doesn't matter who you are as the host — when someone comes to visit your house regardless of who they are, put the red carpet down. Luxury is for the guests. Simplicity is for oneself. Extravagance is for others. Simplicity is for my family.

The Prophet ﷺ sat her down and started a conversation. She said: oh my father, look at my hands, I'm struggling, I'm in pain. These days are difficult for me and my husband. Please — you've been given so many gifts from the people around — help us out, give me something.

There are two different narrations and I will summarize them both. In this narration, the Prophet ﷺ says: do you want five goats or five servants, or would I rather give you five statements that will continue to help you for the rest of your life? She said: ya Rasulullah, if it was you and I, just give me both. Give me the statements and give me the money — you have everything. He said: ya Rasulullah, give me the statements. And the Prophet ﷺ taught her:

These five statements — and he told her: make any du'a with this and Allah will accept it.

Another narration is the same type of setup where the Prophet ﷺ came to their house and said: I know you came to me in need but I'll give you something better. And we were blessed with Tasbih Fatimah. He said: SubhanAllah 33 times, Alhamdulillah 33 times, Allahu Akbar 34 times — and Allah will fulfill your needs.

You brothers and sisters — why would the Prophet ﷺ need to make his family go through that struggle? Was it not enough for him? A father struggling is enough, but him seeing his daughter struggle will break any man's heart. But they understood that in order for deen to continue to grow and progress within the entire community, everyone needs to be on the same wavelength.

In order for deen to progress, sacrifice is needed. In order for deen to be stagnant, worship is needed. In order for deen to progress — for it to move forward into the homes of the people around us, into our children and cousins and family members — there is no way that it will progress without sacrifice. And if it needs to be stagnant, then worship is enough. Praying Fajr is enough. Fasting is enough. But in order for it to increase, one needs to put sacrifice.

This is why Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says:

O Ibrahim, continue to sacrifice.

Allah Rewards Effort, Not Just Results

Allah is the only boss in this world — I've said this before — the only boss in this world that rewards us not based upon our results but rewards us based upon our effort. The more effort we make, the more reward Allah gives us.

Tomorrow if I go to my boss and say: hey, you know boss, I know I was supposed to fulfill this task but there was Eid, there was Ramadan, I couldn't do it, I apologize, please give me more time — he or she will give you time once, you do it again, he will give you time the second time, the third time he will say, find your way out. I don't care how much effort you put in — you had an essay due, you put in so much time but couldn't finish it — that's still an F. Your effort does not dictate the reward that we get in this world. We are living in a result-driven society. If we have results, we will be appreciated. If there are no results, no one will be appreciated.

Allah says: I appreciate those that make effort. Even if they can't get to their destination, their effort will reward them.

Allah says: those that make an effort, that try hard — I will reward them simply for their effort.

The Hadith on Reciting the Quran

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 4937; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 798)

A person that recites the Qur'an — they will be given the beautiful rank to live amongst the angels. Their names will be floating within the names of the angels. The Prophet ﷺ then continued this hadith to answer a question that all of us are asking: what if I struggle to recite the Qur'an? What if it's not as easy for me to recite the Qur'an? What reward will I get? Whosoever recites the Qur'an and struggles to recite it — there is a struggle in that recitation, there is a struggle in wearing those clothes, there is a struggle in waking up that early, there is a struggle in keeping that name, there is a struggle in walking in the streets the way that we walk in the streets, there is a struggle in keeping the identity that we have — there is more reward for it. Because a struggle is what rewards us. It's worth it.

The Prophet ﷺ says: whoever struggles, they will get double the reward. So our goal is not simply to look for the results. Our goal is to put ourselves in the line. Say: ya Allah, you have me, you have my family, you have my wealth, you have everything — just use me now.

The Sign of Allah's Love

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 7152)

If Allah loves a person, Allah uses that individual and uses their talents. The Sahabas asked: كَيْفَ يَسْتَعْمِلُهُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ؟ — how does Allah use that person? The Prophet ﷺ then responded and said: يُوَفِّقُهُ لِعَمَلٍ صَالِحٍ قَبْلَ مَوْتِهِ — that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala allows that individual to continuously do good things before they leave this world. He endows them with the greatest blessing in the world, which is to leave in a manner that Allah is happy with.

This happens when every single person in the family raises their standard on what type of relationship they want to have with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Just like how we push each other to raise our standard of education. Just how we push each other to raise our standard of living. We've lived in Hamtramck for long enough, let's move to Warren. We've lived in Warren for long enough, let's move to Sterling Heights. Sterling Heights long enough, let's move to Troy. And according to Shaykh Abdullah, after Troy, straight to White Chapel — so after Troy, you go to White Chapel. We continuously raise the bar.

When we're competing with each other, raise the bar. Raise the bar for each other. When do we ever say to each other: let's raise our bar of sacrifice? Let's raise our bar of how much work we want to do for this deen. Let's raise our bar for how much time my children should be giving the deen of Allah. Let's raise that bar. The trends of this country should not dictate what my children do. The way of the prophets should dictate what my children do. And what they do, how they move, how they speak, how they think — shouldn't be something that we just follow the stream of the water that is taking place today.

Hajar in the Valley of Makkah

Nonetheless, jumping back on how I started — Ibrahim عليه السلام continues his journey, reaches Makkah al-Mukarramah, and he's told:

A place that has no cultivation, no water. It was perhaps the Mars of that time. There's nothing there. Empty land. It could have been that Allah said: you've already made the effort, let's go to a place where there is water. Let's go to a place where there is beautiful greenery. Let's go to a place where you have money. Allah took them from the blessed and beautiful gardens of Aqsa and put them in a land where there was no water. When we migrate, when we move, we only move to a place which can give us more. Never do we move to a place which gives us less. They moved from a place that for their deen, for their life, for their sustenance was much better. And they were taken to this empty land and told: you stay here.

Hajar and Ismail are dropped off. It's the family. It's not the individual. The individual, if he or she decides that this is a pivotal quality that I need to protect, this will rub off on the people around us. A person that loves money — if we're around them for long enough, you will also love money. A person that loves cars — if we are around them for long enough, we will also love cars. A person that loves sports — be around them for long enough, you will love sports. If a person loves deen — be around them for long enough, you will love deen. And rather than looking for those individuals, we can become those people.

The Three Qualities of a True Friend

What the Prophet ﷺ says — that to befriend someone, they should have three qualities. And if they don't have these three qualities, then they are not individuals that we should associate ourselves with in a manner of closeness and friendship that can change the course of our life.

The three qualities: Number one — befriend someone that when you see them, they remind you of Allah, just by seeing them. There are three things in this world that just by looking at them, you are given reward. Can you believe that? No effort, no hardship — just by simply looking at these three things, a person can get reward. Number one: parents. Simply looking at your mother is a source of reward. And there we are, mother and father sitting in front of us, looking at our phones. The second is the Ka'bah — just by looking at it. And the third is by opening up the mus'haf — just by looking at the Qur'an, a person is given reward. So the first quality that a friend should have is when we look at them, they remind us of Allah. Number two — when they speak, they increase you in knowledge. And number three — when you see them living and moving around, their life choices teach you and tell you that this person cares about the akhirah. They remind you that this person believes in the akhirah.

Hajar's Tawakkul

Ibrahim عليه السلام drops them off in this place and he leaves. And as he leaves, his wife follows him for five miles to a place called Ziya. And after all this, she says:

(Reported in Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 3364)

O Ibrahim, did Allah command you to leave us here? Ibrahim عليه السلام nods his head. And then she — this woman was a mountain, had a mountain of tawakkul — she says: did Allah command you to leave us here? Yes. إِذَنْ لَنْ يُضَيِّعَنَا اللَّهُ أَبَدًا — if that's the case, Allah will never waste us. This is Allah's command. Allah will never waste us.

If Allah's command is to pray salat, how can my rizq become less? If Allah's command is to stay away from haram, then how can my acceptance in the people become less? It's Allah's command. And she stays there without a single drop of water.

The Sa'i of Hajar: The Act Allah Preserved Forever

Then she starts running between these two mountains of Safa and Marwa. And I will wrap it up right here. She continues to go back and forth with this little child, Ismail, rubbing his feet on the ground. And as she continues to run back and forth, my father says something very unique. He says that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala did not only preserve where Hajar went from — started from Safa and went to Marwa. Allah did not only preserve the duration and the places that she went between. Allah preserved the way she went between these two mountains. Where she walked, we walk. Where she ran, we run.

In Sa'i, there is a green light where we all have to run. And if we don't run, it's a problem. And if we run in a place where we're supposed to walk, that's also a problem. Allah preserved every inch, every nayyirah, of this act of hers — where no one was watching, completely empty, deserted land.

We think that the more someone sees our action, the more exposure it will get. The more exposure it will get, the more impact it will have. The reality is that the act that has no one watching us — it has no exposure, it has no views — but it has the view of Allah. That is the act which will impact the world. Hajar was not being watched by anyone but Allah. Until today, the impact of that touches our lives. No one was watching her. Seven times back and forth.

Finally, she sees the water of Zamzam come out from the ground and she rushes towards that water. Scholars mentioned: why was it not so that after the first time or the second time she ran, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala brought the water out? Why did Allah make her run seven times? Why continue to make her run? Imam al-Ghazali rahimullah says that when Allah sees a slave of His making du'a to Him that He loves, He wants to continue seeing that slave make du'a. Allah enjoys hearing from those slaves that love speaking to Allah. So Allah holds it and He enjoys that conversation. He stretches that conversation. And at the end, He gives the water — and that water will never end.

Seeking Directly from Allah Without a Source

Ibn al-Qayyim rahimullah has a great point that he derives from this story. He says — and my father mentioned this in quoting his teacher Haji J. Abdul Hafidh rahimullah — when a person directs himself towards a resource, what we call a sabab, a source, then Allah will give them based upon that source. So when that source will end, their money will also stop, their happiness will also end. But when a person seeks anything and directly seeks it from Allah, Allah will give it without any form of expiration.

Hajar didn't ask people for water. She turned towards Allah. So Allah gave her water without a source. Allah could have simply sent rain down and that rain would have been enough for them. But Allah wanted to show us that when we direct our du'as to Allah — without a source — Allah will give us without an expiration date.

The Sacrifice of Ismail: When the Whole Family Submitted

And this family continued to grow. And from this family, Mecca was made. When Ibrahim عليه السلام comes back after seven years, the sacrifice of Ismail takes place. Ibn al-Hasan al-Basri rahimullah says: we took our students camping and there were waves in the lake — Huron Lake, it was a wavy day on Friday. And I was telling the students that Hasan al-Basri rahimullah says that the difficulties of this world are like waves. They're like waves. If a person is able to get over the wave and they think they've made it and they're done, they'll be smacked by the next wave. A person has enough iman — he can get over one wave — and he knows that he has to reset his feet because the next wave is about to come. It's about to come. It's right around the corner.

So when he comes back, Allah says: go slaughter your son. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala — I'll end at this — when He speaks about the root cause of being able to fulfill this act:

When both the father, the son, the entire family submitted themselves to Allah. It was the entire family. Ibrahim عليه السلام actually asked his son — who was seven years old — that, ya bunayya, what do you think? Should I slaughter you? Should I not slaughter you? What's your opinion? And the son replied by saying:

Oh father, just do as you have been commanded. Why would Ibrahim عليه السلام ask his son if he should slaughter him or not? If he said no, would Ibrahim عليه السلام stop? No — Allah gave him a command. So why would he ask him? Because there was a goal: he wanted to include him in the reward of it. He wanted to include him in the reward. So should I do it? He said, yes, do it. He said: oh my father, take this shirt and tie it around your eyes — tie it around your eyes — because I don't want it to be that when you are slaughtering me, there is any hesitation in fulfilling the command of Allah. There should be no hesitation in fulfilling the command of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

We know:

Allah gave him a ram. But have we ever thought about this — that he had a cloth covering his eyes. So when he was slaughtering the animal, he didn't know that it was an animal. He was fulfilling the command of Allah to its complete form because they both submitted.

Raising the Bar of Spirituality in Our Homes

So my dear friends and family members, sisters and brothers — it is imperative for us to leave this event saying to ourselves and thinking: how can I raise my bar and ambition for this deen? We should be ambitious for dunya. We should be ambitious for education. But when will I become ambitious for my deen? That I give myself goals that I know are difficult to reach, as we do in the matters of our dunya.

And how can it be so that as a mother or father, I raise the bar of spirituality in my home — that my children don't think of simply the things of dunya, but also know that this work of deen is important to them. And we quantify that by how we act in front of them. We cannot become that which we do not see and we do not hear. One cannot become that which they do not see. In order to become something, they have to see it. And it is upon the shoulders of the parents.

May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make us amongst those families that the family is praised by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala — that every single individual in that family is making an effort to come closer to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala through any means they have, like the family of Ibrahim عليه السلام. Everyone's sacrifice was different. The sacrifice of Ismail was different. Hajar's was different. But they were all given the reward of Aal Ibrahim.

The Sacrifice of the Mother Made the Difference

Now, on this point — Ibrahim had two children: one was Ishaq, one was Ismail. Who became the father of the Prophet ﷺ? Ismail. What was different about Ishaq and Ismail? The father was the same — it was Ibrahim عليه السلام. One became the father of many prophets, but did not become the father of the greatest prophet. One also had the sacrifice of living in Quds without his father for some years. But the father of our Prophet ﷺ was Ismail. Why?

It wasn't the father that made the difference. It was the sacrifice of the mother. One's mother made more sacrifice. So Allah gave her a child who was blessed to be the father of our Prophet ﷺ. One child made more sacrifice. So Allah gave that child more.

Don't count your results. Count the sacrifice. Count the effort that goes behind that amal. Count the amount of struggle that we have to do to wake up for tahajjud. Us being dressed or living as Muslims — wearing hijab or growing a beard — those that are doing it in a Muslim country that is open and free — we don't have the same reward. It's not the same reward. The reward is more for us because the struggle is more for us. So we do it with our head raised up high, knowing that we will be given more reward for it.

Closing Du'a

May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make our families amongst those families that can stand under the flag of Ibrahim عليه السلام and his family. Make our fathers like Ibrahim. Make our mothers like Hajar and Sara. Make the children like Ismail and Ishaq. And let us become those individuals and those families that push forward together — so that on the Day of Judgment, when we are entering into Jannah, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will say: unite the families and let them enter together.

JazakAllah khair.