Parting Advice from the Prophet (PBUH) | Mufti Abdul Wahab Waheed

Parting Advice from the Prophet ﷺ — The Golden Advice Series

السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ
نَحْمَدُهُ وَنُصَلِّي عَلَى رَسُولِهِ الْكَرِيمِ، أَمَّا بَعْدُ

Dear brothers and sisters, welcome back to our series, The Golden Advice. In life, we find that some of the most precious advice — the advice that can leave a lasting effect on a person's life — is the advice that a loved one gives while they are leaving and parting away from one another. In the situation of leaving the world, the father gives advice to the child, the mother gives advice to the children, which we will call parting advice.

The parting advice that takes place are heavy and powerful words that children and people who are around truly take to heart. One is to take parting advice from a father, a mother, a loved one. And one is to see the Sahabah رضي الله عنهم أجمعين as they were leaving from the Prophet ﷺ and departing from his blessed city — what type of advice did the Prophet give them? We see this in the story of Mu'adh ibn Jabal.

I will share with you the advice the Prophet ﷺ gave this man as Mu'adh ibn Jabal was being sent off to Yemen. Let us understand that Mu'adh ibn Jabal was faqīh al-ummah — he was one of the most intelligent of the Sahabah the world has ever seen. Umar رضي الله عنه would often turn towards Mu'adh ibn Jabal and say: if you want to ask anyone about the matters of deen, ask Mu'adh ibn Jabal. The Prophet ﷺ had given him the title of the jurist of this ummah — a very intelligent man.

Sometimes we think to ourselves: I already know it. I know what it is. I don't need to ask. Yet Allah orders us:

Ask the people of knowledge if you do not know. The entire deen is the process of seeking advice and being given advice — الدِّينُ النَّصِيحَةُ — that is the entire process of deen.

Nonetheless, Mu'adh ibn Jabal turned towards the Prophet ﷺ and asked him:

"O Messenger of Allah, give me some lasting advice." The Prophet ﷺ had already indicated to Mu'adh ibn Jabal that perhaps when he returned, he would no longer see him. So Mu'adh ibn Jabal was leaving with a heavy heart, saying: O Messenger of Allah, please give me some lasting advice that I can hold on to for the rest of my life. This is the parting advice of a beloved to his companion.

When the Prophet ﷺ told Mu'adh ibn Jabal:

(Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith 5090)

"O Mu'adh, I love you for the sake of Allah." This advice was coming straight from the heart and going to a person who was ready to take it all in — like a sponge — and release it to the world around him when he went to Yemen.

The First Advice: Taqwa — Fear of Allah Wherever You Are

The Prophet ﷺ starts off by saying:

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1987; graded Hasan Sahih)

Have taqwa of Allah wherever you may be. Regardless if you are in public or all alone. Regardless if you are within the eyes of people or you're just stuck in a room by yourself and the only eye looking at you is a screen. Have taqwa of Allah wherever you are. Remember that Allah is watching you.

There is a story of Ibn Umar رضي الله عنه that his disciple Nafi' was with him. He says that we were traveling from one city to the next. While leaving Medina, we saw a shepherd taking his sheep. Ibn Umar said to him: "O shepherd, why don't you come here? We're eating some food — join us in this meal." The shepherd said:

"I am fasting." So Ibn Umar said to him: "In such a hot day you are fasting? And you are hidden in this jungle, with mountains around you — حَوْلَكَ الْجِبَالُ — meaning no one is watching you. It's so hot, it's an optional fast, and I, Abdullah Ibn Umar, am inviting you to eat. Come eat with me." And the shepherd responded: إِنِّي صَائِمٌ — I am fasting.

Abdullah Ibn Umar was extremely impressed by this answer. He then said: "O shepherd, why don't you give us one of your sheep so we could benefit from it?" The shepherd responded: هَذَا لِمَوْلَايَ — "This is not mine, this is my master's." So Abdullah Ibn Umar said: "O shepherd, what will happen if you tell your master that a wolf ate the sheep?" — he was testing him. The shepherd raised his eyes and his finger to the sky and said:

"O Ibn Umar — where is Allah then? I understand, my master isn't seeing me — but where is Allah then?" And Nafi', the disciple of Abdullah Ibn Umar, says that for the rest of the journey, Abdullah Ibn Umar رضي الله عنه continued to repeat this exact statement: Ya Ibn Umar, fa-ayna Allah? Ya Ibn Umar, fa-ayna Allah?

This is what taqwa looks like. You know what taqwa looks like for us? It's like what we do in a situation of illness — how we are afraid to leave the house, afraid to touch someone because we may be affected by something that can harm us physically. So we avoid things, we avoid people we enjoy being around, because a harm can come from it. Similarly, taqwa is to avoid things, people, and situations where there may not be a physical harm — but there is definitely a spiritual harm. We avoid those places.

There is the famous story of Amir al-Mu'mineen Umar رضي الله عنه when he was patrolling the streets of Medina as he normally would, and he came across a tent in which a mother was telling her daughter to put water into the milk so it would look like more, so they could make more of a profit. The daughter replied: "O my mother, have you not heard? Amir al-Mu'mineen has told us not to do this." The mother said — facing poverty — "But he's not here." The daughter replied: "I know he's not here — but how about the Lord of Umar? He is watching me."

Umar رضي الله عنه was so impressed by this reply that he asked one of his sons to marry this girl, and she accepted. And this union brought one of the greatest post-Sahaba individuals to walk the earth — the Mujaddid, the reviver of the first century — Umar ibn Abd al-Aziz رحمه الله.

This is what taqwa looks like. So the first advice the Prophet ﷺ gave Mu'adh ibn Jabal as he was parting away: O Mu'adh, remember Allah is watching you — regardless if you are in Medina, at home, or in Yemen. Allah is watching us regardless of whether it's Ramadan or Rajab or Sha'ban, regardless of whether I'm in a masjid or at home. That is what taqwa is for us.

It is very important for us to understand a simple idea — that taqwa is something we nurture inside of ourselves. We nurture it, we grow this quality. The month of Ramadan, one of its main objectives is:

— so that we can actually nurture this quality and grow it. And the whole advice today is not only about taqwa, so I will move forward. But there are many lectures online about this topic and what I have said is sufficient for that first piece of advice.

The Second Advice: Follow Every Sin with a Good Deed

He says: O Prophet of Allah, give me more. And the Prophet ﷺ says:

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1987; graded Hasan Sahih)

After every single sin that you do, do a good deed. Because that good deed will erase the effect of that sin. Ibn al-Qayyim, while speaking about this concept, explains that every sin we commit has a sin that is counted for us in the scales and in the books — but it also has an effect that lingers in our hearts. He derives this from the hadith of the Prophet ﷺ:

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 3334; Ibn Majah, Hadith 4244)

Every single time a person commits a sin, a black dot is placed on their heart. So this effect of a sin is separate from the sin being recorded in our books. The sin can be erased from our books by istighfar and tawbah. But the effect of the sin is erased through a different process — by making sure that we follow up that sin with something good.

If I did something wrong, then so be it — right away do something good. Whatever it may be. Keep in mind that I'm doing it so that this effect cannot come into my heart and linger and stay. Because if it's there for a moment and we erase it, alhamdulillah — we were not affected by it long term. But if we just let it sit there and it eats our heart and eats our heart, over time that entire heart becomes dark. And now that heart cannot differentiate between what is right and what is wrong.

The Prophet ﷺ says to Mu'adh: every single time you do something wrong — which will happen, because we are human — follow it up directly with something good so you can balance your deeds and the effect can be erased. And the effect of sins is not limited to us — the effect of sins is found within our families. One person can commit a sin and the entire family can be affected by it. One person can commit a sin and an entire neighborhood can be affected by it.

There is a hadith — graded Hasan — that when a person commits a sin, a bird flying in the jungle is affected by that sin on that day, and its rizq can be affected. So wherever we are, whatever month of the year it is, not just in Ramadan — we always follow up any sin with a good deed. And of course we hope that we can limit our sins as it is.

The Third Advice: Deal with People with Beautiful Character

He says: O Prophet of Allah, give me more advice. And the Prophet ﷺ says:

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1987; graded Hasan Sahih)

Deal with people in a good manner. Deal with people in a beautiful manner — not a presentable manner, not an okay manner, not an average way. Deal with people, speak with people, sit with people, be around people in a beautiful manner, so that when you walk into their gatherings, you light up the gathering because they are so excited that you are there.

Khuluq — when Allah defines one of the strongest characteristics of our Habib ﷺ, He says:

You are at the highest epitome of character. Khuluq by definition is when an individual struggles with something — he or she struggles with being nice, struggles with not screaming, with not using vulgar language, with not lying or backbiting about people. They struggle with it. It's not natural — they are working on it. But they make an effort, and after making that effort and growing and nurturing that quality, it becomes so in tune with their personality that now when they do it, they don't even recognize what a great deed they have fulfilled. It just happens naturally.

When we see a wealthy person driving a very expensive vehicle, for us it's: wow, what a nice car! But for them, it's just another Monday morning. Similarly, for a person who has worked on this quality for a long time, there is not even a thought process they have to go through in order to externalize this quality — it happens naturally. And that is the highest level of ikhlas. It's just happening and you're not trying to show off, not trying to force it. But in the beginning we have to work on it.

وَخَالِقِ — and khāliq is different from ukhliq. Khāliq means: be persistent on this. Be persistent on trying your best to present yourself in a positive manner in front of the people who are around you.

The Fourth Advice: Recite the Qur'an and Remember Allah

He continues and says: O Prophet of Allah, give me more advice. And the Prophet ﷺ says:

(Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 22034; also referenced in related narrations of Mu'adh's farewell advice)

I advise you to stay consistent with reciting the Qur'an and remembering Allah in all matters. Because if you do so, this will be a source of your name being mentioned in the heavens and a source of light for you in this world. And who is your name being mentioned with? Allah says:

Your name is being mentioned with Allah and the angels around Him — where Allah speaks highly of that individual, where Allah takes pride over that individual.

When Abu Bakr رضي الله عنه one day was wearing clothes that had no buttons, so he was using thorns to close them — Jibreel AS came down with a message from Allah. He asked the Prophet ﷺ: why is it that Abu Bakr is wearing thorns on his clothes? Why does he have nothing to close them with? The Prophet replied that Abu Bakr had spent all of his money for the sake of Allah and His Prophet and had nothing left. Jibreel AS told the Prophet ﷺ that in honor of Abu Bakr, all the angels of the skies that day were wearing the exact same thing — commemorating him, honoring him.

You know, when we honor someone who has passed, we wear their jerseys, we put their number on the floor of the court. They're honoring them. Imagine being honored in the heavens while you are still living in this world. Then Allah said to Jibreel: ask Abu Bakr — is he happy with Me? So Abu Bakr رضي الله عنه started to cry and said: of course I am happy with Allah — how can I not be happy? And Allah said: I am also happy with him.

Fadhkuruni adhkurkum — when we remember Allah, when we recite the Qur'an, it becomes a means of our names being mentioned with the elite. You know when we're working hard in college or at our jobs and we want that promotion — if we hear that our name is being mentioned for the next promotion, we get all excited because people on top are mentioning our name. Oh my God, I can't believe that person mentioned me! They know me? That's nothing. He knows me? Allah knows me. Allah is mentioning me. And how does that happen? When we speak about Allah. When we remember Him.

The Fifth Advice: Choose Silence Over Unnecessary Speech

He continues and says: O Prophet of Allah, give me more — zidni, give me more! The Prophet ﷺ says:

(Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 22034)

I advise you to choose silence over speaking. I advise you to stay silent when there is no need to speak. As the Prophet ﷺ said:

Whosoever believes in Allah and the Last Day — they should either speak good or stay silent.

The Sixth Advice: Avoid Excessive Laughter

He continues and says: give me more. And the Prophet ﷺ says:

(Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4217; also in Musnad Ahmad)

I advise you to avoid over-laughing. When there is no need to laugh, you should not be laughing. When a wise person asked one of the Tabi'een: how much should I laugh? He said: you should laugh so that people can see your face is happy, but your voice does not go high.

It is okay to laugh. Jarir ibn Abdullah رضي الله عنه says that he never saw the Prophet ﷺ except that he was smiling — إِلَّا وَهُوَ مُتَبَسِّمٌ — always smiling, always happy, always looking pleasant, always giving off a positive vibe. But when there is over-laughter, the Prophet ﷺ tells Mu'adh ibn Jabal that it takes the light of the heart away and the light of the face away. It kills the heart.

There is an entire passage of Surah al-Hadid that was revealed about this. One day the Prophet ﷺ walked into a gathering and saw the Sahabah laughing. He looked at them, and he walked out. One entire passage of Surah al-Hadid was revealed about this. We don't have time to go into the entire passage. But avoiding over-laughter — because it can kill the heart and take away the recognition of what is good and what is evil.

The Seventh Advice: Speak the Truth Even If It Is Bitter

He says: O Prophet of Allah, give me more. And the Prophet ﷺ says:

(Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 22034; Shu'ab al-Iman of al-Bayhaqi)

Speak the truth even if it is bitter and if people don't like it. Speak the truth and speak for the people who need you. Don't take complacency as a sign of agreement. We cannot be complacent in helping and speaking for people who are oppressed, who are being mistreated, and to whom injustice is being shown. As Allah says:

When someone is oppressed, we speak for them, we help them.

The Eighth Advice: Use Your Hand and Tongue Only for Good

He says: O Prophet of Allah, give me more advice. And this is his last piece of advice:

(Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 22034)

Don't put your hand towards anything except that you are using that hand for goodness — bringing someone help, bringing them ease, shaking their hand, hugging them, giving them food. This is khayr. And don't allow your tongue to be used for any vulgarity or any form of profanity. When you speak, speak well.

Conclusion

This is one comprehensive parting advice that the Prophet ﷺ gave Mu'adh ibn Jabal when he was leaving to Yemen. And this advice — we could speak about each of these points for an entire hour; each could be an entire discussion of its own. But as our time is limited, and we want to make sure we include as much as we can, I advise all of us: imagine the Prophet ﷺ himself was giving us this advice. How heavy would that advice be for us? How powerful of an effect would it have on our hearts and our lives?

Dear brothers and sisters, it all starts off with having fear of Allah and moving forward from there. There were other Sahabah who also asked the Prophet ﷺ for advice — they would come to him and say, give me advice, and he would give them different types of advices. So don't feel bad if you have to ask. Only a foolish person and only a shy person does not ask questions — the foolish person does not ask out of arrogance, and the person does not ask out of shyness. We ask the people around us who are knowledgeable, as Allah says:

And above every person of knowledge is one more knowledgeable. That is a journey that all of us need to continue upon — so we can learn more and ask the people who are more knowledgeable than us.

And lastly, this is the parting advice of the most wise — the جَوَامِعُ الْكَلِمِ — the Prophet ﷺ himself, to faqīh al-ummah, one of the most intelligent minds the ummah has ever seen. This is what you call a perfect golden advice.

May Allah give us the ability to implement this advice into our lives and to learn it. Go over the video again if you wish. I will make sure that these advices are numbered and listed in the description. Learn them, write them down, put them on your fridge, teach them to your children, and let this be a goal for us in Ramadan — to complete just this passage of advice. InshaAllah, we'll see you next week once again.

وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ