Shamaail: Session 4 | Prophetic Character | Mufti Abdul Wahab Waheed

Shamā'il: Session 4 — Prophetic Character

As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. Just to keep the sunnah alive, we'll have a short session. We don't have a guest scholar today.

Normally I like to give at least 45 minutes to an hour for Shamā'il, but it's already 4:40 and it's been a long day, so I think we'll try to keep it within 20–25 minutes, inshallah. I used to do all the Shamā'il sessions and then I felt like it was more enjoyable if we get other teachers involved, so hopefully you guys are enjoying all the other instructors as well.

Why We Love the Prophet ﷺ

We started off the first session that I taught by mentioning the quote of Imam Ghazali, where he says that we fall in love in this world based on three things. The first of which we covered on that day — outer, external beauty — and we explained how there was no one that came close to the physical beauty of the Prophet ﷺ. The second reason why we love individuals is because of inner characteristics or internal qualities, and those things can't be seen, but the more time you spend with someone, the more you understand who they truly are.

I always tell my full-time students in our boarding school, and I remind myself, that if you can sit with someone and within the first five minutes they like who you are and they connect with you, that's a great quality — but if you can spend five years with someone and they still don't like you, that means there is some type of hypocrisy within us. The person that spent five or ten minutes with us didn't get a full view of who we truly are, and the individual that spent a lot of time with us realized that the character we were displaying was just a cover — it was just covering something else that was inside.

The sahabah spent every second of their life with the Prophet ﷺ. You couldn't hide anything. Everything was exposed. So we love because of internal qualities.

The Hadith of Sayyid al-Awwalin wal-Akhirin

One day the Prophet ﷺ walked out of the masjid — and this hadith, I believe Sheikh Abdullah also mentioned — and as he walked out, the sahabah were saying: Allah made Adam ﷺ the first, Abu'l-Bashar, the father of all human beings. Then he made Ibrahim ﷺ Khalilullah. Then he made Musa ﷺ Kaleemullah — spoke directly to Allah. Then he chose to make Isa ﷺ Ruhullah.

These are special qualities and special positions. We always hear that our Prophet ﷺ is the greatest person. So what does he have that they had? And the Prophet ﷺ walks out and he says to them:

"Not only have I heard your statements, I have also heard the tone in which you made those statements."

He was so in tune with his companions that even the slightest change of tone, he knew what it was. That change — عَجَبَكُمْ — that you're kind of put off. Like, how is it that our Prophet is the greatest? He doesn't have any of those things. And then he says to them, not in any demeaning or degrading way, he simply says:

(Sahih Muslim, Book 43, Hadith 2278)

"Yes, Allah gave Musa the power of being Kaleemullah, and he made Ibrahim Khalilullah, and he made Isa Ruhullah. But let me tell you something — I will be the greatest human on the Day of Judgment. I have no pride in it." There's no second discussion after this. I will be the greatest person.

Yawm al-Hashr and Maqam Mahmud

There is a poem that describes the scene of the Day of Judgment when all of humankind will be standing there — or on their knees rather — hoping for the Day of Judgment to begin. I teach this in my Aqeedah class where I try to explain the different stages of the Day of Judgment.

The first stage of the Day of Judgment is what we call the field of Hashr, where we all get together but no Hisab actually begins. We're just stuck at one place. We run towards the caller and we're just there. Everyone will be on their knees. No one will be able to move around. This is Yawm al-Hashr.

During Yawm al-Hashr, some narrations in Surah al-Ma'arij state it will be 50,000 years. One day will be 50,000 years — but for a believer it will be like the time between Dhuhr and Asr. Nonetheless, Yawm al-Hashr is when we will just ask Allah to start the Hisab. The wait is too much. You know when sometimes you get in trouble from your teacher or from a parent and they say, "Wait, wait till I get home" — that waiting period is sometimes worse than the actual punishment. Just get it started.

So we'll say, "Let's start Hisab" — but we won't have the ability to say to Allah, "O Allah, start Hisab" because we're scared. So we'll go to Adam ﷺ — he says, "Not me. I ate a fruit." Then we'll go to Ibrahim ﷺ — "Not me. I had those three white lies." Then we'll go to Musa ﷺ — "Not me. I actually hit the man and killed him." Then we'll go to Isa ﷺ — "Not me. These people tried to make me their lord. I don't want to go ask Allah right now. I'm afraid for myself. I'm not even asking about my mother."

There is a hadith mentioned by Ibn Hibban that he will say that he won't even ask about his mother — so worried about himself. Then we'll go to the Prophet ﷺ, and he will choose — and this is where Maqam Mahmud is described. He will be given the ability to go to the Arsh of Allah. He will fall in Sajdah and he will start calling upon Allah. He says in a hadith that he will praise Allah in a way that he doesn't even know what he will be saying, but it will be such a praise that will bring the mercy of Allah.

And Allah will say to the Prophet ﷺ:

"O Muhammad, raise your head. This is not the time of prayer. That time has gone. Ask and you will be given. Intercede and your intercession will immediately be accepted."

The poet says: on that day when everyone will be standing on one plain land and people will be in complete chaos — running around scared — the sinners will say, "Who is there to help us?" At that moment the Prophet ﷺ will rise above everyone else and that's when his honor will truly be shown. True virtue can only be recognized when it's compared to somebody or something else. You only recognize good food if you taste food that is not as tasty.

So true virtue is recognized when it's being compared to others, and at that moment the Prophet ﷺ will say: look at me, this is who I am. Me being here is the reason why Shafa'ah is happening. Me being here is the reason why we're moving forward past Hashr and upon the Sirat and hopefully into Jannah.

The Narration of the Caller at the Prophet's Birth

The virtue of the Prophet ﷺ was never a question, but it was even a conversation that the sahabah had. Imam Suyuti rahimullah has a beautiful narration in a book called Khasa'is al-Kubra where he says — and it is a weaker narration, but it can be used for the sake of virtue — that when the Prophet ﷺ was born, نَادَى مُنَادٍ, a caller called out and people in the house heard this. The caller said: this child that has been born — announce it to the world. Let the world know that Muhammad ﷺ has been born and he is in the world. Let everyone know his name. Let everyone know his qualities. Let everyone know who is here.

The caller called out and it said: give him the character of Adam. Give him the recognition of Sheikh. Give him the power and the strength of Musa. Give him the zuhud of Isa. Give him the voice of Dawud. Give him the kingdom of Sulayman. Give him the beauty of Yusuf. Give him the character and the friendship of Ibrahim. Give him the submission of Ismail. Give him the patience of Ayyub. Bless him. Shower him in the qualities of all of these prophets.

Yes, Yusuf was the most beautiful — but the Prophet ﷺ was more beautiful. Dawud had the best voice — but when the Prophet ﷺ recited there was no comparison. Musa was the strongest — but when the Prophet ﷺ chose to display his strength there was no comparable. Shower him in the qualities of every prophet. Every prophet was given one special quality — just imagine the greatness of our Prophet ﷺ if he was given that quality equal to each and every one of them.

The Gatherings of the Prophet ﷺ — Internal Beauty

When speaking about internal beauty and his qualities, the narration mentions what Hasan radhiallahu anhu asked his uncle — tell me what were the gatherings of the Prophet ﷺ like? How was he around people? And this is where you're able to understand what his character was.

The First Quality: Guarding the Tongue

The first thing mentioned in the narration about his internal qualities was how he used his tongue. خَزَائِن literally means treasure — he treasured the words that he said. The words that came from his tongue were never extra nor were they ever too short. They were perfect. And he would not speak about that which did not relate to him.

So he mentions that all the beauty of his character could be summarized in how he used his tongue. And similarly for us — we can be generous but have a bad tongue. We can be humble and have a dirty tongue. But in reality, what this hadith teaches us is that in order for us to have any of those qualities, the tongue comes first. He wouldn't indulge in those things that did not have to do with him.

Whenever I speak about Shamā'il I literally spend almost an hour talking about just the tongue. We don't have time today but I'll just mention one narration that sticks out to me when speaking about the harm and power of the tongue.

The Prophet ﷺ said one day:

(Jami' al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2018)

"The person that I dislike the most and who will be the furthest from me on the Day of Judgment" — for me I always say this is one of the scariest hadiths — he says the person that will be the furthest from me is an individual who just talks too much. ثَرْثَار literally is translated as just talking about every topic that comes to mind. Whenever an opinion comes to their mind, they just let it go — they don't think about it, they don't hold it. It doesn't mean to talk a lot; it means to talk about every subject a lot. You can be an expert about cars but you're not an expert when it comes to politics. You can be an expert when it comes to religion but you're not an expert when it comes to any other issue that's happening in the world.

When people come to me and ask me what my take is on this or that and I haven't studied it, I literally say, "My take is whatever Sheikh Omar's take is on this, or my take is whatever Sheikh Hamza's take is on this" — because we don't know about everything. You're on Facebook and the same person that comments on politics is the same person commenting on a fatwa, the same person commenting on a basketball game, the same person commenting on stocks. It's okay if you don't have an opinion.

Imam Hasan al-Basri rahimullah says that we naturally relate speech to wisdom, but he says that in reality silence is wisdom. I tell my full-time students that when they go to a community for leading salat or doing khutbah, I say just wear your turban, stay quiet, and just nod your head — they'll think you're a big sheikh. The moment you start talking too much, it changes. Staying quiet is good enough.

He has a beautiful statement. He says: whosoever finds that they have excessive speech — they just talk about everything and they can't hold back — know that they will have this effect in their life: their mistakes will be exposed. Because what ends up happening is the person himself exposes the mistake. "Oh yeah, that thing, that movie was so — oh yeah, I watch —" and the person exposes himself.

What happens when our mistakes come out in the open? The natural innate quality that Allah has blessed every single one of us with — which is modesty, haya — starts to diminish to a point that it becomes non-existent. And when haya leaves our heart, the Prophet ﷺ says:

"When you lose the quality of haya, do as you wish." Nothing will stop you — because the first thing that stops us is the quality of haya. Haya from our parents, haya from our siblings, haya from our friends, haya from Allah.

I had someone come to me once and they said, "Sheikh, we're always told to do good deeds only for the sake of Allah — who cares if people are watching us or not. So why can't that be true for the opposite? If we're not going to sin, we should only avoid sins because of the sake of Allah — who cares if people aren't watching me? Isn't it insincere that you avoid doing a sin because someone is watching you?" That was his question.

This is the answer of Ibn al-Qayyim and many scholars before us — he says that doing an act of goodness for somebody else, yeah, that's showing off, that's insincere. But avoiding a sin because people are watching you is the biggest branch of iman — because haya is the biggest branch of iman. So avoiding the sin because someone is watching us is a great quality of iman.

So Hasan al-Basri says it all comes down to the tongue. The more we speak, the less haya we have. And the less haya we have, the piety and righteousness that we have inside of us — due to the acts of goodness that we have committed and all of the virtuous acts — that piety also becomes less. And when that piety becomes less, the heart dies. So now you're unable to tell the difference between good speech and bad speech. "What was wrong about that? There's nothing wrong about that — so what if I said it?"

And I always say this when it comes to the tongue: you and I are not only responsible for what we say, we are also responsible for how it is received. I'll say that again — we are not only responsible for the words that we say, we are also responsible for how it is received.

What that means is: I can say something and I didn't mean harm, but if the person was harmed, that is sinful. All of the ibadah — salat, sawm, zakat — the greatest condition is sincerity and intention. We always learn this in fiqh: your intention, your intention, your intention — it's all about your intention. But when it comes to mu'amalat, when it comes to dealings with people, intention takes a back step, and what comes first is how that person receives it. So I could say something and I didn't intend harm, but if the person was harmed by it — it's on me. We can't say, "That's not what I meant, that's not what I was referring to, I didn't mean to harm you." That doesn't matter anymore. If harm was done, it still counts. Intention is not the primary condition when it comes to mu'amalat.

Hasan al-Basri rahimullah says: the tongue of a wise person is always placed behind the heart. So whenever they intend to say something, the tongue chooses to ask the heart — "Is this something good for me to say?" And if the heart says yes, then the tongue goes ahead and says it. But the tongue of an ignorant person is always between their lips — there's no process of elimination, no question of whether it is good, beneficial, or not. It just says it. And that is what ثَرْثَار is.

The Second Quality: Empathy

He continues this narration, and in Imam Tirmidhi rahimullah, after starting with the tongue, he then moves to the second quality I normally like to talk about. The second greatest quality of the Prophet ﷺ — and if I could define it in one word, I would choose the quality of empathy. He was very empathetic.

There is a difference between sympathy and empathy. Sympathy is when you feel bad for someone — "Oh man, let me share that post on Facebook." Let me forward it in all my WhatsApp groups. If it starts there, that's okay, but that's not where it's supposed to stop. Empathy is when I put myself in that person's shoes — and that is very powerful. Because we are sometimes hardly tolerant enough to keep ourselves in our own shoes. "I'm going through so much, I can't handle any more stress."

You have just studied the entire Sirah — there was not a person who dealt with more struggle and pain than the Prophet ﷺ. How he was still able to quantify this quality of empathy is astonishing.

When Ikrimah ibn Abi Jahl — who was a son of Abu Jahl — when the Prophet ﷺ came to Fath Mecca, a few people ran away. Amongst them was Ikrimah. He runs away on a ship and he's going to Habasha, and there was a storm. That storm was rough, and Ikrimah said, "O Allah, if You save me from the storm, I'll go back and become Muslim." And Allah saved him. He comes back to Mecca and he is coming to meet the Prophet ﷺ.

The Prophet ﷺ hears about Ikrimah coming. This man — subhanAllah — is a son of Abu Jahl, the man that physically harmed the Prophet ﷺ, the man who was the reason why there were intestines thrown upon him, the Pharaoh of our ummah. His son is coming.

Allah says in the Quran:

This Jannah has been prepared and decorated for those that are people of taqwa — who are the people of taqwa? Those that spend when it is easy and when it is difficult, those individuals that know how to swallow their anger. What does it mean to swallow your anger?

Swallowing your anger was always very foreign to me to understand. I've read many tafasir — what does swallowing your anger really mean? And then I realized it's like swallowing food you don't like. I was in Dallas for a lecture at the Plano masjid and we were called for a dawah dinner. The brother had prepared like five different dishes but they all had a specialty of fish. So it's fish biryani, fish korma, fish kebabs — and he fills up my plate generously with all five types.

Now you have to be able to honor the host. You have to eat. So I start eating and that's when you realize what it truly means to swallow your food. When you chew on it, the person in front of you can tell that you don't like it — yes or no? But if you just swallow, you don't taste it. The guy in front of you thinks you're enjoying it. That's swallowing — swallowing your anger means that regardless of what you're dealing with, the person in front of you can't trace the anger inside of you. Just swallow. Are you okay? The moment you leave that gathering you can let it out.

The most honorable person is a guest. When Fatimah would come to the house of the Prophet ﷺ, the Prophet ﷺ would stand up, get off his spot, and make Fatimah sit on his spot. And when the Prophet ﷺ would go to Fatimah's house, she would do the same thing.

So when Ikrimah comes, the Prophet ﷺ tells the sahabah: "I'm hearing that Ikrimah is coming to meet me and I hope that he becomes Muslim." Number one — that in itself is virtuous enough. The Prophet ﷺ could have stopped that conversation there and it could have been a wow moment. But the Prophet's ﷺ entire life was a highlight reel — there is not a moment which is not a highlight, every moment is a highlight.

It could have stopped there — but then he says, "Hey, do me a favor. When he comes to meet me and to hopefully accept Islam, do not refer to his father as Abu Jahl" — which means the father of ignorance — "because he might feel bad about it." How in touch was the Prophet ﷺ not just with his own emotions but with other people's emotions? Being in touch with our own emotions is great, but if that only helps me, it's not as beneficial. How in touch was he with other people's emotions — that he said: when he comes, don't call him the son of Abu Jahl, say what his mother called him — Amr ibn Hisham. Call him by his real name, not by the name that we gave him. So when he comes, he doesn't feel bad. We don't even know if he's going to become Muslim — we just don't want him to feel bad. And that is a sense of empathy, a sense of putting yourself in the shoes of other people.

Also, one day the Prophet ﷺ was going out to the marketplace to buy some fruits. The narration mentions he had about 10 dirhams. As he's walking, one person comes to him and says, "Ya Rasulallah, can I get some money?" The hadith mentions that he never rejected anyone that asked him for anything. If he didn't have anything, he would actually ask other people. There was a narration that he was sitting in the masjid, someone came, he gave; someone else came, he gave; the third time someone came, he had nothing left. So he actually asked for a loan from one of his companions. Umar, who was sitting in that gathering, actually became upset. He said, "You were asked and you gave, you were asked and you gave, you were asked and you have no more — stop giving!" But the Prophet ﷺ said essentially, "This is between me and them."

So on his way to the marketplace, he gives away two dirhams to one person, another two dirhams to another person — he's given away four now. As he's getting closer to the marketplace, he sees an elderly slave lady sitting on the side of the road, crying. He goes to her — he sits down with her. He doesn't know who she is. You don't have to know the person to help them, because if you only help those you know, there will always be people who are not helped.

How many people have we built a relationship with without an incentive? How many salams do we give without an incentive? How many times do we smile at someone without it being reciprocal? There's always a give and take — just giving it for the sake of giving it. He stops. The lady says: "My master gave me money to go buy some fruits from the marketplace. I had a rip in my pocket and I lost the money. Now I'm going to go back and he's going to get mad at me." The Prophet ﷺ asks how much it was — it was about four to six dirhams. He reaches into his pocket, gives it to her, and says, "I'll tell your master not to say anything to you — go ahead, buy your stuff." And he goes home without having anything.

And this is where the point can be made: true change in Islam comes not when individuals are able to sacrifice their desires — that's the first condition, the condition for having iman. True change doesn't just come when we sacrifice our desires. Rather, true change comes when people sacrifice their needs and rights. It is my right — but I sacrifice it. It is my right to be able to say this — but you know what, I'll sacrifice it in order to protect that person's heart. Islam manifests in its true beauty not when we simply hold back our desires, but rather when we sacrifice our own rights and needs. Not oppression — but when we have the right to say something and we don't, because it's okay, I'll talk to them next time.

May Allah give us the ability to bring these things into our lives.

Summary

This hadith is very lengthy and I wish we had more time to cover it, but in summary — what did it start with? The tongue. And then behind that, the heart. The second quality we spoke about was the quality of empathy.

These two qualities I think are enough to summarize the Prophet's ﷺ internal beauty:

Number one — he controlled his tongue. And number two — he didn't just control his tongue and sit back and relax, but rather he was still physically able to help people — not in the best way he could, but beyond that, when he gave up his needs, not just his desires.

May Allah give us the ability to act upon this. Ameen.