The Quality that won over the Sahaba | Mufti Abdul Wahab Waheed | Mercy to Mankind 2019

The Quality that Won Over the Sahaba

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds. And the end is for the righteous. And peace and blessings be upon the most honored of the prophets and messengers, our master Muhammad, the Prophet of the worlds, whose name is written in the Bible and the Torah.

Two Types of People

Dear brothers and sisters, youngsters and students in Islam — if we look throughout the world today, we find two types of people. Wherever you look, in whichever society, in whichever workplace, in whichever school, you will find that there are two types of people.

There is one group of individuals who make it a part of their life that whatever task they have been given at hand, whatever job, whatever occupation they have been given, they will use all of their God-given talents, all of their skills, all of their abilities, to make sure that that task is achieved at the best level it possibly could be. They will work, they will put in their time, they will put in their energy, they will put in their skills, to make sure that that job, that task that they were given, is the best it possibly ever could be. That's one group of people.

And there's a second group of individuals — those employees, those brothers and sisters, that make it a part of their lives that not only will they use their skills, all their talents, their energy, their time, their work, to fulfill the task that they have at hand, but they will make sure that while they fulfill their task, while they complete their job, they raise others with them, and they pick up other people with them.

As an employer, which employee would I want? Do I want that employee that will do his job or her job — clock in at 9 o'clock and clock out at 5 p.m. — and they did their job at an epitome of it? They did a fabulous job. But while they were doing that job, no one else was affected with their greatness. No one else was able to take from their qualities. No one else was able to take from that which he or she can provide. But rather, whatever that person had was confined within himself or herself.

Or would you want a person to work for us that has the quality that whatever abilities he or she has, they do their job to the best of it, but they also benefit those that are with them, and they raise the ability of those that are around them?

Two Types of Servants of Allah

Dear brothers and sisters, similarly, there are two types of slaves of Allah. There are two types of ibad. There are two types of servants. There are two types of Muhammadis.

There is one group of us who tell ourselves: I want to be that person that prays his salat on time, gives his zakat, goes for hajj, does all the tasks that have been assigned to me as an ummati of the Prophet ﷺ. I'm doing all those tasks the best I possibly can. All those tasks have been taken care of — but that's where that person stops. That's where his engine turns off. Beyond that there is nothing for him or her.

But then there is another group of ibad of Allah that say to themselves: Yes, I will take care of all my tasks. My salat will not hinder. I will not fall back in my zakat. I will make sure my siyam is the best it possibly can be. But at the same time, my responsibility is to raise the level of other people around me, to raise those that are within my communities.

The Description of the Prophet ﷺ

When Hasan r.a. asked his uncle Hind ibn Abi Hala: "Please, describe to me what my grandfather was like. Describe to me — who was he? What was he like?" — we believe without a shadow of a doubt, in a blink of an eye, that whatever qualities are defined as good qualities and as positive characteristics, our Prophet ﷺ was the epitome of that. Any good quality that a person can think of, our Prophet ﷺ had the best of those qualities. And if there was any negative quality or a flaw, our Prophet ﷺ was the furthest from it.

So when Hasan r.a. asked his uncle, "Describe to me how the Prophet was," it was not an easy question to answer. You know when someone asks us a question — hey, what is she like? What is he like? — the process of answering that question to leave a positive light on that person's heart is to speak about the best quality that he or she has. When someone's asking you about someone and you want to put him in a good light, you say: he's a very generous person. She's a very kind person. He's a physician, she's an engineer. We start with the qualities that will leave a mark on the person's heart.

Well, it's easy for people like us, because we don't have many good qualities — they're numbered. But when you're speaking about the Prophet ﷺ, which quality do we start with? And which quality did he start with? Many a times when we speak about the seerah and the khuluq of the Prophet ﷺ, we become overwhelmed. There's so much to speak about, so many qualities, and it becomes difficult for us to grapple and grasp a specific quality.

But today, let's speak about that quality which won the Sahaba. Let's speak about that quality — speaking about an era and a time in which, if you open the books of history and flip the pages, perhaps there's not a time which was worse than this. What did this man possess within his life that was able to turn these people into individuals that ruled the world? Not only did they rule the world — they ruled the hearts of people.

He starts off by saying that the Prophet ﷺ was:

That the Prophet ﷺ was a man who was naturally honorable. In his natural presence, people were in awe of him. In his natural presence, people were positively affected by him. Just by sitting with him, just by sitting in his gathering, your morale would rise. You would feel better about yourself. You would feel good about yourself.

Hamna bint Jahsh at the Battle of Uhud

Just by sitting with the Prophet ﷺ — in the battle of Uhud, there was a lady by the name of Hamna bint Jahsh رضي الله عنها. She runs onto the battlefield, and as she runs in, Sahabas come to her and say: "Your father has passed away." And she says, "So be it — move out of my way, I want to see how the Prophet is." Another man comes to her and says, "Your husband has passed away." She says, "So be it — let me move forward." Another man comes to her and says, "Your brother has passed away." She says, "So be it — I want to see how the Prophet is."

And finally, she reaches where the Prophet ﷺ was sitting — in the bottom of the ditch, with his teeth shaheed, blood streaming down his face from the rock that struck him. He's sitting there bleeding, and this woman runs up. She sees the Prophet sitting in such a situation, in such a state. And as she comes close to him, she grabs her dupatta, her hijab that was covering her head, and she wipes the tears streaming down her cheeks. She looks at the Prophet ﷺ and says:

"My father became shaheed, my brother became shaheed, my husband became shaheed. But O Prophet of Allah, every hardship in this world, every calamity in this world, after seeing you, becomes non-existent. It disappears."

This was the effect that the Prophet ﷺ had on the lives of these people. Today, if I'm going through a hardship, if I'm going through a calamity — whose phone do I want to pick up? Or if someone is going through a hardship, do they want to call me? And when they see me in the masjid, do they want to sit with me? Do they want to meet me? If they do — if they actually want to be with me — that means I have the quality of being able to fulfill my rights to Allah, but at the same time, raising the morale of others.

The Quality of Empathy

And this brings me to this quality of the Prophet ﷺ which he championed. This was the quality which he brought into the world. This was the quality that he brought and he innovated. The quality, my dear brothers and sisters, of empathy — for his believers, for humanity.

You know there's a difference between sympathy and empathy. Sympathy is me saying to someone: "I acknowledge your hardship. I recognize your struggle. I feel for you. I noticed that — that's injustice, that's wrong." Even non-Muslims can show sympathy to us. That's the beginning of the journey. That's not the epitome of the journey.

How did the Prophet ﷺ exercise his empathy for people? Empathy is the quality of putting myself in the shoes of others — not feeling for them, but actually feeling with them. Not saying, "I understand that injustice has been shown to you," but saying, "I am with you while you are going on this journey of your calamity. While you're struggling, I am with you." And the Prophet ﷺ was a champion of this quality.

We open the books of Seerah and history, and we find that this quality was manifested and displayed in every corner of the Prophet ﷺ's life.

Ikrimah ibn Abi Jahl after Fath Makkah

The Prophet ﷺ is sitting after Fath Makkah, in front of the Ka'bah, and he hears that Ikrimah ibn Abi Jahl has come back from his journey and wants to come meet the Prophet ﷺ. The Prophet gets wind of this. And as Ikrimah is coming to meet the Prophet ﷺ, the Prophet is sitting with the companions. This is the son of Abu Jahl — the only person in Makkah who actually killed Sahabas, who murdered Sahabas, the only person in Makkah who had the audacity and plucked up the courage to physically harm the Prophet ﷺ. He was the one that tied the rope across the Prophet ﷺ's neck and held him tight until he fell on his knees — until Abu Bakr came and pushed him off. He was the one who told Utbah ibn Rabi' to throw intestines on the back of the Prophet ﷺ. He was the reason why Badr actually took place — even after Abu Sufyan said, "I'm safe, I don't need you to come."

This man's son is coming to meet the Prophet ﷺ. And the Prophet ﷺ addresses his companions — the galaxy of the greatest men and women in the world — and says: "Ikrimah is coming to meet me. And while he's coming to meet me, I hope that he becomes a Muslim. I hope he becomes a believer with me."

And he doesn't stop there. He says to the companions: "O my dear companions, when Ikrimah comes to meet me and he sits in front of me, do not mention his father by the name of Abu Jahl. Don't call him Abu Jahl. That was not the name his father gave him. Call him Amr ibn Hisham. Because if he comes here and you say Abu Jahl, perhaps it will leave a negative effect on his heart." The Prophet ﷺ put himself in the shoes of a non-Muslim — how would he feel if someone called his father Abu Jahl? The Prophet ﷺ puts himself in the shoes of this non-Muslim.

The Son of Abdullah ibn Ubayy ibn Salul

This doesn't stop. The Prophet ﷺ in Medina — when Abdullah ibn Ubayy ibn Salul al-Munafiq, the leader of the gang of the Munafiqun in Medina, the champion of those Munafiqun, passes away — Allah had told the Prophet ﷺ:

That if you seek forgiveness for them, or if you don't seek forgiveness for them, it won't really make a difference. His fate is sealed. No one can change it. Don't even go stand on their graves.

But the son of Abdullah ibn Ubayy comes to the Prophet ﷺ crying and weeping over the death of his father. And he comes — this is a Munafiq's son. Not only was his father a Munafiq, he was the one that led nifaq and hypocrisy in the city. He was the one because of whom 300 Sahabas left with him in the battle of Uhud. And this son is sitting in front of the Prophet, weeping, saying: "Ya Rasulallah, my father has passed away."

Now what should a man say about a person who did all of these negative atrocities and brought all of this pain and calamity to him physically, mentally, psychologically? And this son is sitting in front of him.

The Prophet ﷺ says to himself: he knows that my seeking forgiveness for him will not make a difference. But what I say right now, and what I do right now, may affect this person's psychological state. Maybe if I say something, it can raise his morale. Maybe the way I answer his plea, it will make a difference.

And the Prophet ﷺ takes off the cloth that he was wearing — the clothes on his back — and says to Abdullah: "This will become the coffin for your father. Take this as a shroud for your father, and bury him in this." This brought peace and happiness to this child and this youngster. Putting yourself in the shoes of others.

True Empathy, Not Lip Service

Today, in the time that we live in, perhaps it's easy to put a post on Facebook, and tweet a tweet on Twitter, and post a picture on Instagram. That's lip service. Do I truly have empathy for my dear Muslim brothers and sisters — across the world, but within my own community?

When Jarir ibn Abdullah r.a. became a Muslim, he said that the Prophet ﷺ ordered him to do three things:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 57; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 56)

Establishing the prayer, giving the zakat, and actually caring for every Muslim. Actually having the ability to recognize that someone is going through a struggle. No one is going to walk inside the masjid with "I'm struggling right now, help me out" written on their forehead. A child, when he walks inside the house, the mother — without him even speaking — can recognize that my child is going through something. Because the mother actually has that love and affection for the child.

The Prophet ﷺ was that person for every single Sahabi. Whenever they were struggling, whenever they would go through something, the Prophet ﷺ would find them. He would look for them. He would recognize that this person is going through something in his life, and he needs my empathy. He needs me to be there for him.

The Orphan Child on Eid

In Medina, after Salat al-Fajr, the Prophet ﷺ leaves his house on the day of Eid. As he leaves his home, he sees a child sitting on the sidewalk. He comes to the child and says: "Today is the day of Eid — why are you sitting all alone on the sidewalk? Go home with your parents, enjoy, dress up, get ready for Eid and come back. You should be looking good today. You should be happy."

The child looks back at the Prophet ﷺ and says: "I've lost my parents. My parents have passed away. I don't have anyone to go to. There is no one to take me in. There is no one to be there for me."

The Prophet ﷺ says: "Your parents have passed away." And he picks him up, holds his hand, and walks directly to the door of his daughter, Fatima r.a. He knocks on the door and tells his daughter:

"Give him the clothes that you will clothe Hasan and Husain with. Give him the food that you are feeding Hasan and Husain. Today, I don't want him to feel that he has no parents. I don't want him to feel down in any way, shape, or form."

And he comes back before the time of Eid Salat, takes Hasan on his right hand and Husain on his left hand, and puts this orphan child on his shoulders. He walks inside of the masjid and says: "Today, I have three grandchildren. Today, all three of them are mine."

The Prophet ﷺ was able to empathize and put himself in the shoes of a child that was not even related to him in any way — but having the ability to recognize that someone is going through something.

Every Companion Felt Most Loved

And sometimes it's not us having to recognize someone's pain. It's us being upbeat as we are. It's us actually caring for people. When someone walks in the masjid and sees me and meets me, what type of mindset do they leave with? Do they leave with a bright smile on their face?

The Prophet ﷺ says:

(Reported in al-Mu'jam al-Awsat of al-Tabarani; see also Ibn Abi al-Dunya, Qada' al-Hawa'ij)

That one of the most beloved actions to Allah is to be able to leave your beloved Muslim brother or sister in the state that he or she is actually happy with you — that their mental ability and their mindset was raised when they met you. You raise people, not only raise yourself.

All the qualities that Allah has given us, and all those things that we want to achieve in our life, and all those characteristics that we aspire to emulate — we are not getting better for ourselves. If I'm getting better for myself, that is a selfish thing. We are getting better so that, while we are getting better, we're able to use all those qualities, those assets, those elements that we have been given by Allah to raise the level of people around us.

This was the natural state of the Prophet ﷺ. The Prophet ﷺ walks outside of his house one day with 10 dirhams. Just 10 dirhams. His wife gives him 10 dirhams and says: "Buy this from the market." As he leaves his house, someone comes and asks: "O Prophet of Allah, I need some money." The Prophet asks: "How much do you need?" "I need 4 dirhams." The Prophet ﷺ reaches into his pocket and hands him 4 dirhams. He continues his journey. Another person comes and asks, "O Prophet of Allah, I need some money." "How much do you need?" "I need 2 dirhams." He gives him 2 dirhams.

The Prophet ﷺ continues his journey and sees an elderly lady — a slave woman — sitting on the sidewalk, crying. He comes to her and says: "Why are you crying? What's making you cry?" She says: "O Prophet of Allah, my master gave me money to go to the market and to buy something for him. As I was going to the market, I lost the money. And now if I go back, my master will be upset at me and he will scold me. What should I do?" The Prophet asks: "How much money did you lose?" She says: "I had 4 dirhams." All he has left is 4 dirhams. He reaches into his pocket, takes those 4 dirhams out, and gives them to this woman — this lady who in those societies was looked at as the lowest of people. And he says: "Go ahead and be happy. I will speak to your master."

And the Prophet ﷺ said: "If a jariyah — a young girl — would come in Medina and hold on to the finger of the Prophet ﷺ and say, 'I want to speak to you, O Prophet of Allah,' the Prophet would respond and say:"

"Go walk wherever you want — I'll be with you. I won't let you slide. I won't ignore you."

And one of the qualities that Hind ibn Abi Hala speaks about is that every single person in his gathering felt like they were the best people in the gathering. They felt like the Prophet ﷺ does not love anyone more than me. You know how difficult that quality is? If you have three children, believe me, there is one child that feels less love — even though you're trying your best. The Prophet ﷺ had 10,000 companions, and at the end of his life, 124,000 companions, and every single one of them felt like the Prophet loves me more than he loves the person next to me.

To a certain extent, when Amr ibn al-As r.a. — a Sahabi who became a Sahabi near the end of the Prophet's life, in the last two years — was sitting with the Prophet ﷺ, he said to himself: "Wow, the Prophet really loves me. He loves me more than anyone else." And he plucked up the courage to actually ask the Prophet:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 3662; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2384)

"Who do you love the most, Ya Rasulallah?" And the Prophet ﷺ responded: "I love Aisha." He said: "And from the men?" He said: "Her father."

The point is not the Prophet saying, "I love these people more." The point is that people actually felt loved. They felt that care. They felt that nush. They felt that empathy. They felt that level of love emitting from the life of the Prophet ﷺ.

Once upon a time, these were the qualities that the ummah of our Prophet ﷺ tried to aspire to attain. These were the qualities that, when I walk in somewhere, people around me should feel my love. When I sit with someone, they should feel happy. They should feel good.

The Prophet ﷺ and Husain's Stutter

The Prophet ﷺ is sitting in the masjid with his companions. Many people don't know this — this is the last story, insha'Allah.

His grandson Husain r.a. was born with a stutter. It would take him minutes to say one sentence. It would take him minutes to take out one thought from his mind. And for a child, that can be very traumatizing as he's growing up — especially if he has such an eloquent brother like Hasan r.a.

Nonetheless, the Prophet ﷺ is sitting with his companions, Hasan and Husain next to him. Husain is about 5 years old. And when a child reaches the age of 4, 5, 6, he starts speaking up a little more. The Prophet ﷺ is speaking to the companions. And Husain stands up and starts speaking.

The Prophet ﷺ looks at Husain r.a., and — this is the gathering of the Prophet ﷺ — he turns his entire chest towards Husain. And this child is struggling and managing to say a few words, stuttering continuously. And Anas ibn Malik says it takes him more than 3 minutes to say one sentence.

The Sahabas start looking around at each other with some awkwardness — not a viciousness, just an awkwardness — as if to say, what should we do? And they look at the Prophet ﷺ. And the Prophet ﷺ is holding the hand of Husain tightly, with a bright smile on his face, telling him without saying it: "Oh my son, speak on. I'm here for you. Speak on. I feel for your pain. I understand, and I'm with you while you're in this struggle."

And he looks back at the Sahaba — all of them in a state of awkwardness, not knowing what to say. The Prophet ﷺ notices this, and says to the Sahaba:

"It's okay, it's okay. He inherited this stutter from his uncle Musa a.s. It's not a big deal." Putting himself in the shoes of a child.

Sometimes, even as parents, as uncles, as elders in the community — if my nephew, my son, my daughter takes a few minutes to say one sentence or one statement, it's very easy for us to push them aside and let them be.

The High Road: The Quranic Lesson

But let us remind ourselves — when Allah says:

"And We have shown him the two paths." The easy tafseer of that is:

That's a very apparent tafseer. But let's read on a little more. What is النَّجْدَيْنِ? What is the high road? Allah says:

Aqabah is that climb up the mountain — the difficult pathway. It's that path which is hard to walk on. It's that which becomes difficult for you to do. And Allah says: what is aqabah? Is it Salat? Is it Siyam? No. It is to free a slave, or to feed in a day of hunger — an orphan near of kin, or a person in misery.

The high road, the difficult road, is to find those people within our communities and around us, and to recognize that these people are going through some type of difficulty in their lives, and to empathize with them, and feel for them, and be with them.

Empathy is when my food becomes tasteless for me. That's empathy. Empathy is when I have restless nights because I see what's going on around the world. Empathy is not when my Twitter goes viral. Empathy is when I sit at night crying my eyes out because those people are being murdered across the world. That's empathy.

The Prophet ﷺ and the Orphan Boy of Bashir

The Prophet ﷺ had a norm. Whenever he sent out a caravan, or a group of Sahabas, and he was not with them, he would go outside the city of Medina, go to the back of the group, and be the last person to enter the city of Medina upon their return.

Once upon a time there was a battle — a campaign — and a group of Sahabas went out for this journey. And when they came back, there was a young son named Bashir r.a., a child of 5 or 7 years old, whose father had gone out with the Sahabas in this campaign and was about to return.

The mother dresses the child. She makes him wear nice clean white clothes. She showers him. She puts on the best of all fragrances. And I can attest to how mothers treat children when the father comes back from a journey. A child, when his father comes back, jumps on him — even if he's been gone for one day. Imagine your father being gone for weeks, and your mother preparing you to meet him. This child excitedly runs outside the city and stands on top of the hill. The mother says: "When you see your father, wave to him from on top of the hill so he can see you and come to you."

This child is waiting there. He sees the first flank of the army come in. He notices his father is not in that flank. He says: "It's okay, maybe he's in the next group." The second flank passes by — no sign of the father. And now finally, the third group of Sahabas walks in and starts entering the city.

This child starts looking around. "Where's my dad? I got dressed up. My mom prepped me for this. My mom told me that my dad's coming back." And as the third flank passes through, he sees the Prophet ﷺ at the end of that group. And he falls to his knees, recognizing that no father had returned. And those same white beautiful clothes with that fragrance emitting from him — he fell on the floor, those same white clothes now dusty with the sand of the deserts of Medina.

The Prophet ﷺ sees from a distance that a child is crying on top of the hill. He goes to him. No man is too big to put himself lower in order to raise those that are around him. No person is too large, no person is too special, to put himself or herself lower to make others feel special about themselves.

The Prophet ﷺ comes, sits down on his knees, grabs this child. And the child puts his head on the shoulder of the Prophet ﷺ and cries out his eyes. Wallahi, we should ask ourselves — how many people have actually cried out their eyes on our shoulders? And if we don't have many people that have done that, perhaps I don't give off those positive vibes. I don't give off that compassion, that empathy for others.

He lets the child cry out his eyes. And at the end of it, one thing is sympathy — saying, "Yeah, I care for you, cry out your eyes." But the Prophet ﷺ empathized. And he said to him:

"Won't you be happy, oh son? From tomorrow on, I'm going to be your father, and Aisha is going to be your mother."

This is what we call empathy. And since the Sahaba felt this from the Prophet ﷺ, Islam became something viral. Something which everyone looked at and said: "We want to become like that."

Let's Make Islam Viral Again

Today, my dear brothers and sisters, let's make Islam viral again. Let's make Islam that way of life that everyone looks at and says: "Wow, I want what he or she has." How does something become valuable in the eyes of people? By people. People make things valuable. People make qualities valuable. People make things become valuable.

Let's make this quality become valuable — so hopefully from that quality of ours, we can hold up the hands of our people in our communities and raise them and make them feel like they're better than what they think they are, and make them feel special, and make them feel that not only do I recognize your pain, but I am here for you and I am with you in that pain.

May Allah give us the ability to bring this into our lives and to emit this within our lives so people can actually feel it from us — like a vibe and an aura — and give this special quality of ours the strength to affect those around us.

وَآخِرُ دَعْوَانَا أَنِ الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ