The True Test of Blessings | Surah Yusuf Reflections | From Trials to Triumph | Ep. 4

Surah Yusuf Reflections — Episode 4: The True Test of Blessings

أَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ
بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

We'll continue insha'Allah from verse number 8 that we started the discussion on last week, where the brothers of Yusuf — the ten brothers that were from one mother — after hearing about this dream and all of that which came with it, they turned towards each other in agreement that: we are facing a problem over here. Yusuf and his brother are more beloved to our father than us, whilst we are the talented ones, whilst we are the ones that are the breadwinners of the family, we are the ones that bring food to the table in the family, we are the ones that the father relies on economically and physically. However, the love that we were supposed to receive — because we give so much to him — he gives it and shows it and displays all of that to Yusuf and Binyamin.

And we mentioned last week that their statement — simply because Allah mentions it — doesn't mean that Yaqub actually loved Yusuf and Binyamin more than he loved all of his other sons as well. Rather, the truth behind this statement is that they felt that way. They felt that the father showed them more love. They felt that the father wasn't treating them fairly. Not everything that we feel is a fact, and not every fact is what we want to feel. Not everything that I feel — I feel like people are mistreating me, I feel like people are being biased towards me — some of us, I can speak for myself especially when it comes to certain situations in life like sports or other things, we might use a racist card too quick. "I feel like I'm being, you know, randomly selected." Yeah, I know we get chosen randomly quite often and that's not so random, but not every time I feel a certain way does that mean it's true.

And if that were a reality, we would never understand who we are. So our feelings will continue to change, and as we grow, feelings will change.

Point One: Feelings Are Not Always Facts

This is what Allah speaks about in the story of Samiri with Musa:

"My soul suggested it to me." He just felt like doing it. So they felt that the father — not every قَوْل, not every statement that is uttered, makes it true. Just because we brought it into existence by saying it doesn't mean that it's accurate.

Sometimes, that's why the Prophet ﷺ taught us that you always have to hear both sides of the story before you make a verdict, or even give an opinion about it.

(Sahih Muslim, Introduction, Hadith 5)

It is enough for a person to be considered a liar that he goes and conveys all of that which he hears — meaning, before verifying, he just continues to speak about it or tells other people of it. So the idea of "I feel like my father loves them more than he loves us" doesn't mean it's true.

Point Two: Having Favorites Is Human Nature

The second point is, like how the Prophet ﷺ mentioned in the discussion with Aisha رضي الله عنها: "I am commanded to treat all of my spouses with due justice. But O Allah, do not hold me accountable for my feelings that I have with Aisha. My heart is more filled with her love. But that doesn't mean that I treat them unfairly."

It is possible — anyone as a father, or even like a khala or an uncle, knows — that it is possible. It's only human nature that sometimes the inclination of the heart may be towards one over the other. Everyone has favorites. Having favorites isn't a problem. The problem becomes when that pushes us towards being unjust towards the other person. One maybe does have a favorite nephew, niece, son, or daughter. But that doesn't mean that you can take someone else's rights away because of them.

So Yaqub عليه السلام is a Prophet of Allah. Even if he did have any inclination of love more for Yusuf عليه السلام, that would not have been seen in his actions, because he would treat them completely fairly.

Point Three: Hasad Makes a Person Look for Excuses

The third point: when hasad enters into the heart of a person, it is a seed that continues to grow even though what's growing it is not true. For example, a person can say, "I don't think this person likes me" — and it's because of hasad. Now, when they say salam to him, he thinks, "They didn't really say salam properly." Or when they're inviting people to a certain gathering: "Why didn't they invite me the same way as they invited him?" And it starts building up and building up, because hasad does that. It makes a person blind and it makes a person deaf.

So they have hasad. They're just looking for things to latch onto that they can use as an excuse. In life, be able to catch yourself — as we all should — and ask: is there actually something deeper that is causing me to say this about this person? That is causing me to treat this person in a certain way?

Using a religious justification is always the easiest thing to do. "You know what, I don't invite this person to my home because they're like this." Be true to yourself so we can grow from it. They're looking for excuses. "Oh, dad loves him more, that's why I want to kill him." But really, it's just the fact that Allah made him more beautiful. That's all it was. Allah made Yusuf more beautiful. Allah gave him greater charisma. And as we talked about a few weeks ago — this was his greatest blessing, and it was also his greatest challenge.

So the third thing we find in this verse: people look for excuses to justify the way they feel. "I feel this way because of how this person spoke to me." No, not really — because others also speak to you the same way but you don't get as triggered by them. Why is it that the same manner of being spoken to by this person brought about such a drastic difference in your reaction? Because there's hasad there, or there's a level of arrogance that is now being exposed and this thing is just being bait for it. It's a cop-out. So they said, "What we're using as an excuse is Yusuf is more beloved to our father," because every hasad looks for an excuse.

Even the individual whose heart is completely dead — when they're experiencing hasad, they feel uncomfortable with it. But they have to give some type of an excuse to tell themselves: "No, it's not a bad thing. I have a positive intended outcome from it." If they were actually sincere in wishing to receive their father's love, would they take away the most beloved thing away from him? It's like saying, "I want to earn the love of this person, but I want to take away the thing that brings the most joy to them." So it's not your father's love that you're pursuing. What you're pursuing is simply that this person shouldn't be receiving it. Because you know you're not going to get it.

Verse 8: "Our Father Is in Clear Misguidance"

"Our father is in clear misguidance." Of course — how can he not see that I'm the better person? Every time someone doesn't understand my way of doing something, that means they're crazy. Maybe we're the crazy ones. Every time an elder in the family doesn't understand why I make a certain decision, that means they're getting old. No — maybe we're just not wise.

It's not always إِنَّ أَبَانَا لَفِي ضَلَالٍ مُّبِينٍ. "These guys are just lost. I understand that they're not educated. They don't know any better." These types of statements are what the brothers of Yusuf are saying. "He doesn't understand us because he's clearly just lost." I know we don't say this about our parents in significant things, but even saying it in insignificant, mundane things leads to a very bad precedent for ourselves and our children. Things such as, "Yeah, they're just older and don't know what's going on anymore."

That's how they try to justify why their father can't see what they can see — because it's so clear. Sometimes someone comes and says, "I know this person doesn't like me." Why? "You don't see it. Only I can see it." Well, no — maybe only you're the one that's blinded by something else. Nobody else can see it. "Yeah, but I can see it." As if we have an angelic eye that we can see something that others can't see.

The Plot Against Yusuf

So they end off by saying إِنَّ أَبَانَا لَفِي ضَلَالٍ مُّبِينٍ, and Allah continues: the brothers say — and obviously this doesn't happen all in the same gathering, this is happening over the span of the entire life of Yusuf عليه السلام — but it comes to this where they now say: "Our father is going crazy."

اقْتُلُوا يُوسُفَ — "Kill Yusuf." Or, أَوِ اطْرَحُوهُ أَرْضًا — get rid of him in a land that is far away from here. In our terminology, it would mean: "Get this person out of my sight. His presence makes me feel very uncomfortable."

What's very interesting here, Ibn Ashur comments on this. He says, throughout the entire story of Yusuf عليه السلام, Allah will say who's speaking: إِذْ قَالَ, قَالُوا, إِذْ قَالَ يُوسُفُ — Allah will always say إِذْ قَالُوا لِيُوسُفَ. But over here it just says اقْتُلُوا يُوسُفَ — it doesn't even say who's saying it. And the reason for that is because they all came to this agreement. They were all on the same wavelength. "Oh, we're getting rid of this kid." Everyone said it. Or: "Get rid of him in a land that we don't want to hear his name anymore. We want this person out of our sight, because his presence means that we are less loved — quote-unquote. We don't get our full screen time. He pretty much takes it away from us because our father loves him more."

How can brothers who are raised in the same household come to the point where they are literally plotting to kill their own younger brother? Now, as crazy as that sounds and as extreme as it sounds, it may not have the same application in today's time — but it exists, sometimes even in our own homes. Sometimes the people who are closest to us: their success makes us sad. And their sadness makes us happy. And that's a very uncomfortable truth. Because if the heart isn't purified, not only will our salah not give us the benefit — our social interactions will always be unfulfilling. The heart needs to be pure to be happy for someone else's happiness. A person needs a full heart.

The Destruction of Hasad

This is what the Prophet ﷺ said: hasad eats away at good deeds like fire eats away at firewood.

(Sunan Abu Dawud, Book 41, Hadith 4903)

Like how fire eats away at firewood — the spark of fire is much less than the wood, very insignificant. But those few sparks of fire can get rid of that wood and burn it completely. It's not equal. Very minimal fire. Similarly, the hasad doesn't have to be the same amount as our good deeds. It may be very limited. But just like how that spark of fire can get rid of that firewood, hasad — the Prophet ﷺ says — removes good deeds from a person's life the same way.

Imam Nawawi رحمه الله comments on the hadith and says that something very significant to extract from it is this: not only does hasad remove my good deeds — just like that firewood becomes ash and can't be used again, there's no benefit from it — but sometimes hasad actually removes the potential of doing good deeds. It can remove the drive of doing good deeds. And the term we would use for it: it can remove the tawfeeq of doing good deeds. That's what that hadith refers to.

So for so many years they've been seeing Yusuf in their household, and now they say "kill Yusuf." This wasn't something that happened overnight. When someone has hasad in their heart, Imam Ghazali رحمه الله has a very interesting statement. He said: hasad and hubb — jealousy and love — are almost the same. Because love will make even a flaw look like a positive trait. Parents love their kids. Even if the kid really struggles in a sport, as a parent you still see the best in them. Love does that for you.

He said, hasad is very similar — except it does the opposite. It makes positive traits look like flaws. The positive trait that Yusuf had is that he made his father happy. That's a positive thing, not a negative thing. But because of hasad, this person now perceives it to be a negative thing. And their entire interaction with it is as if it's a negative thing.

So the years of build-up — even though this person says salam to you, when I have hasad because they got into this college and I didn't, now when they say salam I've heard people say: "They only say salam to me because they want to rub it in my face." Why would you even think that way?

Have positive assumptions of people.

In our own gatherings, us youngsters can catch ourselves thinking this way: "The reason why he or she is doing that is because they want to do this." No — that's hasad now.

The Prophet ﷺ would seek refuge from hasad. There is an entire surah that teaches us not only to seek refuge from the hasad of others, but more importantly to seek refuge from becoming the hasad. We make such an effort and make so many du'as for our children, ourselves, and our families to be protected from hasad. But what if I myself am someone that is giving that energy to people? Or becoming the hasad myself?

The Five Steps from Thought to Action

Imam Ghazali رحمه الله says: a deed, an amal, goes through a five-step process. It's like a journey, and each step leads to the next one.

Step 1: Ham — The Passing Thought

The first is called ham. Ham in Arabic refers to a passing thought. In Surah Yusuf it comes as well. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ says:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6491; Sahih Muslim, Book 1, Hadith 233)

Whosoever makes a ham of a good deed but doesn't do it, they get the reward of the full deed that they had a ham of. Ham doesn't mean intention. Ham means a passing thought. For us the example would be seeing a billboard, seeing an ad on YouTube, seeing something while scrolling on Instagram and thinking, "Ah, that's something nice." That's called ham.

But a lot of times, if we are people that know how to get refocused, that ham doesn't really do much — it just stays there and we're able to let go of it. But if the ham keeps coming back up, and if we let it marinate in our hearts, it moves to the next step.

Step 2: Niyyah — The Intention

Step number two is niyyah. Now, you make an intention. You may not have a nickel in your bank account, but you still make the niyyah. That's the best part about it — and the worst part. The best part is, as someone once asked about hajj: "I have no money and I don't know when I'm going to have money. Why should I make intention to go for hajj?" There is reward in simply making the intention. You don't need to already have the means to make the intention, because making the intention is itself an amal.

Sufyan al-Thawri رحمه الله would say that having the tawfeeq to make an intention is greater than the amal itself. Because now you have iktisab — now you know why you're doing it and what you're doing. Making an intention is a positive thing. So you come from ham and it leads toward niyyah.

Step 3: Iradah — The Plan

Then, because you have it in the back of your mind — and normally what we're taught to do at this point, when a haram thought comes to us, is:

We're taught that when a thought like this comes — "Why is this person looking at me this way?" — أَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ. We're taught to repel that thought. Even prophets can have ham. You're not a bad person if you have ham. Ham is something we cannot control — whether or not it comes into our mind or heart. But we have absolute control, based upon our levels of piety, to repel it away.

Allah says, for example:

That Yusuf عليه السلام had a ham — a passing thought about this person. But he was able to push it away immediately. If someone finds out about a disease, they want to figure out their treatment immediately. If they sit with it a little bit longer, it will cause other faculties of their body to also be impacted. Similarly, if the ham sticks around, it grows to the point that it becomes a niyyah.

And then the third step: you want to buy that car, so you start saving up money for it. That's called iradah — making the plan for whatever you're making the plan for. But there's still time. You could have saved all that money and say, "You know what? Forget it. I'm giving this money to my mom." There's still space. There's still time.

Step 4: 'Azm — The Firm Resolve

But when iradah leads to the next one — which is 'azm — that means a complete decision and a conviction to do something. Imam Ghazali رحمه الله says, when a person comes to 'azm of doing a sin, they actually get a sin for it even if they don't do the sin. The fact that they made 'azm for it is itself a sin, because they planned it and they thought it through. As Ibn Abbas رضي الله عنهما says: what is worse than the sin is planning the sin. Because when a person is planning the sin, they know that they are disobeying Allah. Like how the brothers of Yusuf are doing right now — they're planning the sin.

Allah says:

"When you have gone through all the steps and made 'azm, then place your trust upon Allah." In our terminology, 'azm means "by any and all means necessary." That's 'azm.

The fight that comes around 'azm: we're going to that place, our car shuts off on us — "Allah is giving me a sign, I shouldn't be going there." The Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 4949; Sahih Muslim, Book 46, Hadith 2647)

The people that Allah loves — He makes haram difficult for them. He makes doing haram difficult for them. When someone is so caught up in 'azm, in doing what they want to do, no sign is a clear sign. Rather, every obstacle that is supposed to prevent them from doing it is actually adding more encouragement. Looking for Ubers at 1am, no Ubers available — "It's all good, we can just walk, Allah gave us legs." But that's a sign. Allah doesn't want you to do it.

That's the moment you sit back and say, alhamdulillah. Catch yourself in these moments. Every son of Adam is a sinner. But Allah sends signs to prevent us from doing those sins — especially those that are premeditated and planned. And the things that come between us and that sin: don't be upset at them. Be pleased with them.

One of the wisdoms of the five daily prayers being spaced throughout the day is because they are all supposed to be obstacles towards sin. This is why people always ask: is it good to have an azaan clock at home? When the azaan is called, do I have to stay quiet and stop everything I'm doing? No, you don't — because the azaan clock is not actually the azaan being called, the ruling on that is pretty clear. But if we have even an ounce of iman in our hearts, if the azaan goes off in our home and we're doing something haram, we will stop. And it will create a level of awareness: maybe I shouldn't have been doing this. There's a benefit in it.

The Brothers' Four Steps Toward Their Crime

So the brothers of Yusuf went through these four steps. They thought about this. They didn't push the thought away when it came. They made niyyah, they made iradah, now they made 'azm — that we will kill Yusuf. Remember these four steps because as we go through the journey of what they did, you will come to the realization that 'azm is a very dangerous place to be in. Because it actually, if done incorrectly, covers all of your rational thinking. "By any means necessary" literally means by any means necessary. And that's what they did.

Or: throw him in a land where we don't see him anymore. We will continue from here in the next session, insha'Allah.