The Two Steps to Forgiveness | Mufti Abdul Wahab Waheed | Summer Immersion

Arguing Only in What Is Clear

The Prophet ﷺ is told by Allah — it's a command to the Prophet ﷺ directly — do not argue with them.

Except for in arguments that are clear. Meaning, don't get into just small arguments about technical things with the Christians and Jews. Now, I'm not going to go into a discussion about what type of debates are permissible and what type of debates are not permissible.

It's perfectly fine to debate with non-Muslims and use that as a form of da'wah. But this is interesting — إِلَّا مِرَاءً ظَاهِرًا — don't argue with them except for in things that are explicitly clear. Because sometimes you may argue with them and if you don't have a clear answer, it may seem as if they are stronger and their side is stronger. So if you want to argue with them, مِرَاءً ظَاهِرًا — argue with them in things that you have explicit proof. Not in things that are ambiguous. Argue with things that are clear and proven.

The starting point of da'wah is to call them towards the oneness of Allah. Because there is absolutely no ambiguity within it. If you have to argue about that, go ahead and argue — because Allah has already made it clear enough for us to argue about it. But don't continue having these discussions back and forth, "no, it's like this and it's like that." Don't argue with them about things that don't matter. It's not a big deal — let it go.

The Danger of Petty Arguments

Don't argue over every little small silly thing. And this happens within families. It happens amongst friends — that we get caught in a small argument. "Well, was it this date? Was it that date? No, it was the 24th. No, it was the 25th." And boom — half an hour talking about what date it was. Like, who cares about the date? Talk about what happened.

And a lot of times after the argument — yeah, yeah, we hug it out. But we're humans. It leaves a salty wound in people's minds. It stings and it stays. That's why the tongue has such power — whatever you say, it can actually stay.

Imam al-Shafi'i (rahimahullah) says that the wounds of the hand are such that you can actually cover them. But the wounds of the tongue are such that they cannot be covered — because you can't see them.

The Two Steps to Forgiveness

It's interesting that sometimes you can say something to someone and you ask for forgiveness, and they will actually forgive you. That's the first step. But who else has to forgive you? Allah has to forgive you.

So oftentimes we think, "Well, Allah will forgive me anyway — let me just seek forgiveness from the person." And the person forgives you. But sometimes Allah...

Let's say for example someone says something to me and my mother hears it. My mother loves me. And I say, "No, I forgive you." But guess who heard it? Someone who really loves me. She might not forgive you — because she loves me, and she didn't like what you said to me.

Who loves us more than our mothers? Allah loves us. So if we say something to someone, the person might forgive you — but Allah is like, "No, no. I didn't like that. I did not like what you said to My slave." And Allah could hold it.

The Story of Hassan ibn Thabit and Aisha

Hassan ibn Thabit (radiyallahu 'anhu) — for the sake of just this topic — he was also caught amongst those people that accused Aisha (radiyallahu 'anha) of the unspeakable act. He was amongst those people who got caught up in it, in the web of accusation with the munafiqoon. And he also said that Aisha did this.

And then he did a ruju' — he took it back. He went to her and cried in front of her, and sought forgiveness. And Aisha says, "No, I forgive you. You are the sha'ir of the Prophet — the poet of the Prophet. You don't have to keep asking for forgiveness. I forgive you."

Years later, near the end of his life, he became blind — he lost his eyesight. And he says, "Wallahi, I believe that I lost my eyesight because of what I said to Aisha — even though she forgave me, it still had an effect."

So it's not all gone and dusted because you sought forgiveness. We have to be more wary of what we say. "Oh, no, it's okay, it's going to be forgiven anyway, they're going to forgive me." They may forgive you — but does Allah forgive us?

Right? So Allah is saying: don't get caught up in small, petty arguments over things that don't really matter.