When Lies Collapse & Patience Prevails | From Trial to Triumph Ep. 7

Opening & Context

Everyone, may Allah bless you all for showing up. It is hot outside. Hopefully, it stays cool inside, insha'Allah ta'ala.

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ. الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ. وَعَلَى عَاقِبَةِ الْمُتَّقِينَ. وَالصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَى أَشْرَفِ الْأَنْبِيَاءِ وَالْمُرْسَلِينَ. سَيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ النَّبِيِّ الْأَمِينِ.

In the last session, we reached the point where the brothers come to the father and they inform the father of the false news of Yusuf عليه السلام being eaten by a wolf. And they tell the father that even if we're telling the truth, someone like you won't believe us — because you won't believe what we're saying. Not because it's false. It's a you problem.

A lot of times, we call this gaslighting, right? We make the other person feel like it's their fault that we don't believe them. Or it's their fault that we don't accept them or whatever it may be. So that's verse number 17.

The Shirt of Lies — Verse 18

Verse number 18 is the father then goes ahead and asks for some proof. We spoke about the idea that he asked for the body so that they can perform janazah. And that's pretty much the last right someone has upon you — you can have a janazah and pray upon that body. But there is no body because obviously they didn't kill the kid. They simply put him inside of a well.

And then the father says to them, well, can you bring me his clothes that he was wearing? A shirt. So I can smell and enjoy his fragrance. You know, when someone passes away, anything that you can have of them helps you connect with them — whether it's a shirt, an old car, a phone, whatever it is, that can be like a reminder of that person. So he says, well, can you at least bring me a shirt so I can hold this shirt and smell his fragrance and be able to just find some solace and comfort through that.

The brothers, not thinking it through — obviously, when your mind is so fixated on an outcome, you don't really think about the process, right? You're so committed to making sure that that outcome that you have drawn is completed. So if that means I don't have a plan, if that means you don't ask yourself all the questions before you do what you're supposed to do.

This is why muhasabah and muraqabah is so important — meaning, you ask yourself the questions. We talk about the fact that all deeds are based upon intention. But sometimes you can only know the intention when you ask yourself the questions that need to be asked. The niyyah is not a default. You ask yourself: why am I doing this? What's the purpose behind it?

So he goes ahead, he asked for the shirt. And Allah mentions:

They go ahead and take a random shirt and they slaughter a calf or a goat and put the shirt in that blood. Allah says بِدَمٍ كَذِبٍ. The actual word which would be more accurate would be بِدَمٍ مَكْذُوبٍ — blood that is falsified, blood that is fake. But the word that Allah uses, for a specific reason, is بِدَمٍ كَذِبٍ. كَذِبٌ means that the blood itself was — it was as if the blood itself was lying. Meaning it was such a clear, so clearly planted lie, that it was as if the blood was telling you that it was fake. Rather than بِدَمٍ مَكْذُوبٍ, which would mean that the blood has been planted, بِدَمٍ كَذِبٍ means that it was as if the blood was telling you that it's lying — because of how clear and blatantly false the blood was.

The Father Sees Through the Lie

So they bring the shirt, they put it in the blood, and they go ahead and present it to the father. And when the father sees the shirt, he grabs it, and in the narration Qurtubi mentions that he actually holds the shirt and starts smelling it. And then he starts examining the shirt. And he looks at the sons and he says, this is pretty interesting:

مَا رَأَيْتُ ذِئْبًا أَحْكَمَ مِنْ هَذَا — I have really not, I've never seen a wolf more intelligent than this one. Because you told me that the wolf tore my son apart, ate his body, and therefore we don't have his body to perform janazah. But then somehow, the shirt doesn't have a single tear in it. Like, there is no sign of his body being torn through the shirt. So how is it possible that the shirt is not torn?

And this is when he said: بَلْ أَنْتُمْ كَذَبْتُمْ — rather, you all are lying.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how intelligent you are, a lie does get exposed one way or the other. And this is why the believer — الْمُؤْمِنُ لَا يَكْذِبُ — a believer doesn't lie. Regardless of how challenging the situation is, or regardless of what mistakes they have committed to put themselves in that situation, lying will never solve it. Lying will simply cause a deeper hole for us to have to dig ourselves out of — especially when it comes to relationships.

Obviously, they're committed to this. They had the plan made out. But ultimately, the truth always comes out:

When the truth comes, falsehood becomes exposed. And a person who is lying is naturally very insecure — they're always worried that the truth will come out. This is how the munafiqun lived their life:

They're always worried that the truth will come out — that they're not true believers, that they're actually just fronting and acting as if they are believers. So they thought they had their bases covered, like sometimes we do. When we end up presenting ourselves or getting caught up in a lie, we think that we're good. But ultimately, Allah promises that the truth will be exposed. This is why the Day of Judgment is يَوْمُ التَّغَابُنِ, يَوْمُ الْفُرْقَانِ — it's the day of truth being exposed, the day of truth becoming the voice and falsehood being exposed to everyone.

Sawwalat — The Beautification of Desires

So they come with the shirt, it is presented to the father, the father says what he says — that you are lying. The sons again say, no, we're not. I know you won't believe us even if we're telling the truth. The father then responds to them by saying:

سَوَّلَتْ in Arabic — the word used in this ayah — means زَيَّنَتْ. The word سَوَّلَ means to beautify, it means to decorate. So what he is saying to his sons is: the truth is not that you killed him, the truth is not that he was eaten by a wolf. Rather, سَوَّلَتْ لَكُمْ أَنفُسُكُمْ أَمْرًا — you have in your mind beautified that idea to the point that you believe it.

سَوَّلَتْ — this is a key word for us. It's a key part of this story of how they got rid of Yusuf عليه السلام. The idea of سَوَّلَ is that you start believing in an idea and start believing in something that you have in your mind to the point that you believe it's the best thing that you should do — سَوَّلَتْ لَكُمْ أَنفُسُكُمْ — but the source of that is just your own desires.

Sometimes a person will say, this is the best thing that we should do, this is the way that we should react to the situation, this is the way that I should respond to a conflict. And if you ask yourself, why is that the best way? Why should I deal with my father in that manner? Why should I respond to a person who spoke to me disrespectfully in that manner? — سَوَّلَتْ لَكُمْ أَنفُسُكُمْ أَمْرًا — it's because you beautified that idea in your own mind.

Especially in today's time where it's not normal to seek counsel for normal things, for day-to-day things. We seek counsel for significant and major decisions in our life, but for normal decisions we don't seek counsel. We rely upon our own intellect and we rely upon what we think is better for us. That's سَوَّلَتْ — you just make that decision because you think it's better.

The Lesson of Samiri

In the story of Musa عليه السلام, he went away for 40 days to receive the revelation. And in that time, there was a man by the name of Samiri. Samiri was a person who was a part of the Ummah of Musa — he was a believer. He went ahead — a famous story that many of you have heard — and took a cow made of gold and threw on it dirt that he had picked up from the footsteps of Jibreel عليه السلام, so it was like sacred dirt. When he threw it on this gold cow, the cow started making noises. And then he told everyone: look, these noises the cow is making — a cow can't make these noises, and the cow is gold — this is because this is your god. And he started to convince Bani Israel, after they just saw Fir'aun drown.

It's not because it was a lack of proof. It's not because there's a lack of spirituality that I still commit that mistake. Someone just comes back from Hajj, or someone is in the month of Ramadan, and I'm still committing a certain mistake. It's not because something is lacking in regards to spirituality — there's enough proof that what I'm doing is wrong, there's enough proof that what I'm doing is haram. It's a weakness of سَوَّلَتْ — in my mind, I have convinced myself that that's the only thing I should be doing. I have convinced myself that the only way out of this is to backbite about someone. سَوَّلَتْ.

Bani Israel, some of them, despite the fact that they just saw the miracle, they start worshipping the cow. And when Musa عليه السلام returns and he says to Samiri — long story short — what prompted you to do this? What was your motivation behind this? What was your rationale and reasoning? And his response was: سَوَّلَتْ لِي نَفْسِي — the thought was something that I was... it was a beautiful thought in my head.

In our terminology, what that means is — you felt like doing it. سَوَّلَتْ لَكُمْ أَنفُسُكُمْ أَمْرًا means you felt like doing it. Well, all of that you're saying about Yusuf being eaten by a wolf — that's all a lie. You just felt like doing something. You felt like this was the right thing to do.

And sometimes it happens — this is why Ibn al-Qayyim says that the idea of muhasabah is: when you do something, you're able to ask yourself, why did I do that? Why did I say that? And then identify for yourself whether or not your answer makes sense. It's very easy to just passively get past your own actions. But we're very critical when we see other people's actions, other people's words, other people's statements.

The idea of just do it — you know how Nike's slogan is "just do it"? Because you feel like it, right? Just because you feel like it doesn't mean that you're supposed to be doing it. If we go based on feelings, then we are simply animals. This is why Allah has given us three different barriers before we make a decision — He's given us our heart, which is our emotional side; He's given us our mind; and He's given us revelation. All three — our mind, our heart, and wahi — and wahi dominates both of those.

So the father says to them what we experience on a daily basis: سَوَّلَتْ لَكُمْ أَنفُسُكُمْ أَمْرًا — this matter in your mind was a beautiful thought. You know, sometimes we do something and afterward think, I thought it played out better in my head, right? That's what he's saying to them. You played this out in your head and you convinced yourself that it was a good thing to do. And now you have to back it up by just lying.

It's for us as well that we don't want to fall into the situation of سَوَّلَتْ, زَيَّنَتْ — we beautify a thought in our head on our own. We have to ask people: is this the right thing to do? Is this the right way to deal with this situation?

The Symbolism of the Shirt

This is how we know that Ya'qub knew they were lying — because of the shirt. The shirt was the proof that the brothers were lying. The shirt comes up three times in the story, and the symbolism of the shirt is fairly heavy in the story of Yusuf عليه السلام.

The first time is here, where the father asked for a shirt. The second time is when the shirt was ripped from the back as he was trying to run away from the room. And the third time is when he sent the shirt to his father to return his eyesight. Each time it comes, there are lessons around it — we'll speak about it when the second and third instances come as well.

But over here, the reason it came is simply to make it clear to us as the reader that Ya'qub knew they were lying — meaning he understood that Yusuf was alive. That much was clear to him. He didn't know anything else. But the fact that Yusuf was alive was clear to him. And why this is important is because if he knew Yusuf was dead, then he really can't make du'a for him to come back. But his whole life, he spent making du'a to Allah to return Yusuf to him.

Two Du'as You Cannot Be Stubborn On

There are only two types of du'as that you can't keep asking for. Everything else, you can be stubborn on as long as you want.

One of the du'as is something that is already set — it's a qadri matter. For example, someone who's 25 years old asking Allah to make them taller. It's not gonna happen. No matter how much du'a you make — your height is set. Or someone asking Allah to bring someone back to life. These are set things.

The second thing you can't make du'a for in a manner that you're stubborn on is a du'a that will harm someone else. For example, someone gets married to the person that you wanted to marry. You can't ask Allah to get you married to that person now, because that would mean you're trying to break up that other person's marriage. So making du'a that harms someone else is also impermissible.

Sabrun Jameel — Beautiful Patience

Nonetheless, after this point — when it's clear to him that they're lying — he says:

A beautiful patience. And throughout the entire story of Yusuf عليه السلام, one of the most common words is صَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ — a beautiful patience. If we can understand what صَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ means, we'll be able to deal with challenges that come our way in any shape, in any way, or any form.

صَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ has two main components — and it's جَمِيلٌ. Because صَبْرٌ in itself may not be enough for us. A person can be patient but not in a manner of جَمِيلٌ. For example, a person can host you and be your host but not in a جَمِيلٌ manner. They're still your host. Someone can give you coffee but not in a جَمِيلٌ manner — where it's beautifully being done, with grace.

The Three Uses of Jameel in the Qur'an

Allah in the Qur'an uses the adjective جَمِيلٌ three different times as an adjective.

The first time He uses it: Forgiveness — فَاصْفَحِ الصَّفْحَ الْجَمِيلَ — meaning at a point of conflict, صَفْحَ means to turn the page. Just turn the page, but do it in a beautiful manner. Meaning, if you're gonna turn the page, don't make the person feel terrible about it. Don't tell them you're going to forgive them while at the same time making them feel inferior to you. Sometimes we forgive the person but we also humiliate the person. The whole purpose of forgiving them is to actually empower them and to give them a sense of self-respect and dignity — I've forgiven you, it's okay, you can continue. So فَاصْفَحِ الصَّفْحَ الْجَمِيلَ means turn the page in a manner that doesn't break that person.

The second time Allah uses it: Separation — وَاهْجُرْهُمْ هَجْرًا جَمِيلًا. At a point of conflict, sometimes there is no reconciliation. It's possible that sometimes a conflict is such that you can't reconcile — there is no reconciliation. The word used is هَجْرٌ. It comes from هِجْرَةٌ, which means to migrate. So Allah says sometimes when you get into a conflict or a dispute and there is no reconciliation available even when you've tried everything — at that point, go your own ways, but جَمِيلٌ, in a beautiful way. How often do we see that the separation wasn't the issue — it's the way that they broke up? The divorce wasn't the issue if they did it correctly. The issue was how they did it. Because ultimately, there will be times in life that we have to go our own ways. So Allah is telling us: when you do go your own way, do it with جَمِيلٌ — in a manner that doesn't break the other person, that doesn't make the person feel humiliated.

The third time is صَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ — Patience. The third option you have at the point of conflict. The first option is to turn the page. The second option is to leave the person or leave the situation. The third option you have at the point of conflict is to just remain patient in that situation — that you haven't turned the page yet.

Ya'qub عليه السلام did not turn the page — he was still waiting for some type of clarity on Yusuf. He also didn't leave his sons. So he did the third one, which is صَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ. Just waited. In a manner that is beautiful.

The First Quality of Sabrun Jameel: Laa Shikwa Illa Lillah

So صَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ — it's not just صَبْرٌ. صَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ is that we don't become bitter with Allah. We don't become bitter with the people of Allah. It happens very often that when Allah tests us or throws a challenge our way, we become bitter with Allah. But ultimately, Allah put us in that situation because He believes that we can handle it.

إِعْطَاؤُهُ رَحْمَةٌ وَأَخْذُهُ حِكْمَةٌ — His giving is His mercy and His love, and His taking is a form of His wisdom. The Prophet ﷺ taught us:

(Sahih Muslim, Book 55, Hadith 2999)

How beautiful is the affair of the believer — every situation that this believer is in is actually better for them. It's good for them. And:

Allah does not place us in a situation where we don't have the capacity to deal with it — the mental capacity, the physical capacity, and the willpower. Wherever He's placed us is because He believes that we can deal with it.

The Prophet ﷺ also taught us: لَا تَسُبُّوا الدَّهْرَ — don't curse time. Don't curse that time. "I hate this day, man. I hate this week. I hate this month. I hate this year." We hear people saying these things all the time. People would have wished to have that day that you have. People would have wished to have the opportunity to wake up in the morning with their family and loved ones.

(Sahih Muslim, Book 39, Hadith 6750)

Allah says: I am time. I am the present. Allah doesn't live in the past and the future — Allah is always in the present, He is omnipresent. The situation that He put me in — if I become bitter and I'm saying that I'm patient, then Shaytan has won. To become bitter with Allah is ultimately losing hope in our own situation.

It's okay if we do feel it. It's like any other sin — we have to learn how to deal with it. There will be times that you feel bitter. If we never feel bitter, that means we're like prophets and angels. There will be times that we feel bitter with our situation with Allah — that back and forth with Allah — that's okay. As long as ultimately we don't let that state become the reality for us. You have many people who after going through a difficulty, their relationship with Allah turns for the worse because they actually believe that Allah hates them.

Allah doesn't hate us. If Allah didn't love us, He wouldn't have created us. The default state is that Allah loves us. And the reality of life is that that love is displayed in different ways. Even your own parents' love is shown in different ways. A child who is 6 or 7 years old — if the parents drop them off somewhere and say, this is because I love you, the kid doesn't understand it. But ultimately, as a person matures, we're able to see that that was also a form of love.

So صَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ is to be able to hold yourself back in that moment and know that this is not personal from Allah. We're not that big of a deal — Allah isn't cornering us or picking on us specifically. Everyone's situation is different. Everyone has different challenges.

So the first meaning of صَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ is: laa shikwa illa lillah — we complain only to Allah. Complaining about Allah is a major sin. Complaining to Allah is the greatest source of spiritual strength. Being vulnerable in front of people is weakness. Being vulnerable in front of Allah is strength.

Al-mu'min al-qawiyy — we're strong. How can a person be weak when they have al-Qawiyy on their side? Regardless of who's not with them. Being vulnerable in front of Allah is a sign that we trust Allah. People speak to and air out how they feel with people who they trust and love. Well, do we not love Allah? Do we not trust Allah? You can only build a relationship with someone when you share those moments with them. When you share that heartache from your inner circle, that strengthens the relationship. But if we don't share these things with Allah, then how is that going to strengthen the relationship?

Every night, there should be a conversation that I have with Allah — "I had a rough day. My father's upset with me. My car died on the road. It was a hot day. I had a rough day. I need you." And then the opposite is true as well — "I had a great day because of you. You allowed me to leave my house and come back home healthy."

صَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ is to complain to Allah. When the Prophet ﷺ was dealt with in the manner that he was dealt with in Ta'if, he said: "Allah, I complain to you. I complain to you." A believer is not distinguishable because of their situations. A believer is distinguishable because of their responses.

When the Prophet ﷺ saw that lady crying on the grave and he said to her, "be patient," she looked back and said, "you don't know what I'm dealing with." And later on, she found out that the man who came and spoke to her was the Prophet ﷺ, and she felt remorse and came to him and said, "I didn't know it was you." The Prophet ﷺ said, patience is shown at the face of conflict — at the face of conflict. In that moment: laa shikwa illa lillah. I complain to Allah. I have that moment of vulnerability with Allah. Only Allah can do it. Only Allah has the power to fix it anyway. No one else does.

So Ya'qub عليه السلام could have done a lot. He could have forced his kids, gotten detectives, pushed them, pulled them. He could have done more. Sometimes you think to yourself, why did he not do more? Ultimately, that's what صَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ is — to rely on Allah at this point. Anything more is beyond my scope. So laa shikwa illa lillah.

It's very easy on social media or even within our friend circles to come off as negative people. When it comes to our lives, our day, our family, our relationships, our deen, we have to have positive energy about Allah. أَحْسِنُوا الظَّنَّ بِاللَّهِ — the more positive we are about Allah, the more we are able to deal with the situations that Allah puts us in. Having that positive assumption of Allah is what allows us to deal with the lows in our life, because we know Allah still loves us in that moment.

The entire Surah of Nuh — the entire surah is Nuh عليه السلام complaining to Allah. "Ya Allah, I've done everything I can, man. These guys don't listen to me." Complain to Allah. That's the first quality of صَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ.

This is why later on in the story he says:

Oh Allah, I only complain to you.

The Second Quality of Sabrun Jameel: Guarding the Tongue

The second quality of صَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ is that the tongue will not say anything that brings Allah's displeasure. The hardest part when something happens to us — you lose a loved one or you're challenged — the hardest part is to not let the tongue say what the heart is saying. Very difficult. Because the heart will be saying a lot. And that's why we're blessed that Allah is not holding us accountable for our thoughts, because if we were held accountable for our thoughts, there would be no one who would be صَابِرٌ.

The Prophet ﷺ when he lost his son Ibrahim said: the heart is experiencing great pain. When you deal with something, your heart feels pain and starts thinking a certain way — at that moment, don't let the tongue translate it. لَا أَقُولُ إِلَّا مَا يُرْضِي رَبِّي — I will not say except that which brings Allah's pleasure. I won't say it. I know I'm feeling something, but I won't say it.

So the second quality of صَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ is to be able to get a grasp of your tongue at the height of emotions — which is extremely difficult. Sometimes when someone says something when they're angry or upset, they later ask for an apology and say, "I was very upset, that's why I said it." That's what صَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ is — it's to be able to control my tongue at that point, to be able to swallow my anger at the height of anger. It's to be able to still have good character towards people, to not let my situation allow me to become bitter towards Allah and towards the people who are closest to me. I don't displace bad character towards people who love me because of the situation that I am in. That's صَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ.

Wallahu al-Musta'an — Allah is the Ultimate Helper

He says to his sons:

Allah is the ultimate helper from that which you are describing. Whatever you just described to me, I can't do anything about it — Allah will help me. Allah is going to take care of it. How can a person at such a point — someone saying that their son has been killed — still turn back and say Allah will help? Allah is going to take care of this. A person can only have this level of conviction when they've already built a relationship with Allah prior to that moment.

This is why the five daily prayers, our normal daily worship — it's there to be an insurance policy when we deal with these situations. Otherwise, there's no way a person is going to be able to turn back and say, "Allah will take care of me," if they don't already have a relationship with Allah.

We have to realize sometimes in life, the reality is that there is nothing else that I can do. I've done everything I can do. I've tried my best, I've used all the resources around me, I have spoken to people who can help me — but I still don't have a job. I still am not married, still don't have children, I still don't have that blessing that everyone else has. وَاللَّهُ الْمُسْتَعَانُ — it's all good. Allah is going to help me.

This is why every single day, 17 times a day, we say:

We rely on you. And it's a beautiful du'a that the Prophet ﷺ taught the Sahaba:

(Reported in al-Mustadrak of al-Hakim, Hadith 2000; also in Sahih al-Jami' al-Saghir, Hadith 4388)

O the One who is always living and always dominant — we seek help through Your mercy. Rectify and take care of all of my affairs. And do not leave me to myself for even a blink of an eye. Meaning, do not let me be alone in any situation without You, even for a blink of an eye — I can't do it.

The Story Continues — The Caravan and the Well

The story continues. This is where the story of Yusuf being found takes place:

This well was in the far outskirts of the city, so the travelers came by. سَيَّارَةٌ means a caravan. A caravan came by, and as they were traveling, فَأَرْسَلُوا وَارِدَهُمْ — they sent their water boy — فَأَدْلَى دَلْوَهُ — so they sent someone to get water and fetch water for them. And as this person went, he puts his bucket down in the well — his own bucket. This also shows you that this was not a normal well. A normal well would have its own bucket. This is a well that didn't even have a bucket, meaning it was not for daily use.

He goes ahead and puts his own bucket, and as he puts his bucket down, Yusuf عليه السلام, seeing this, latches onto it and is pulled up.

This is where we learn that if Allah sends us a bucket, we grab it. If Allah gives me an opening, I'm going to use that opening. I'm not going to sit there and say, no, no, I'm going to wait for something else to happen. Allah sent me that opening — I want to pursue that. If Allah gave me an opportunity that is supposed to help me in my situation, I won't simply sit back and say, "Allah is going to take care of it, I don't have to do anything." No — we do.

The Prophet ﷺ was not victorious in the battle of the trench because he sat there. They dug the trench, and then Allah sent the wind. The Prophet ﷺ was not successful in Badr because he simply made du'a. No — he went out in the battlefield and stood face to face with the enemies, and then Allah sent the angels. We want the angels, but we don't want to make the step towards our own effort. We want the reed and the wind to come, but we don't want to change our own life. Ultimately, my relationship with Allah is what brings the miracles of Allah.

So the idea that he saw the bucket and he grabbed it — for every one of you, there'll be a different bucket in our own lives, and we have to use it. We have to be able to use the أَسْبَاب that Allah has given us around us. We don't rely on them — we only rely upon Allah — but we do use them. Imagine if Yusuf just said, "It's all good, man, Allah is gonna send Jibreel again." No. The bucket is there. I'm gonna grab the bucket. I'm gonna use it.

Ya Bushra — Glad Tidings

And as he's pulled out, the man says:

يَا بُشْرَى means "oh, glad tidings" — it's like saying "oh my" in our terminology, in our lingo. هَٰذَا غُلَامٌ means — what a, such a beautiful boy!

He was in the well for between three to ten days, they say. In that time, his eldest brother — Yahudha — every day would come bring him food, making sure that he was okay. The reason why he knew that Yusuf was taken out of the well was because one day he went there and there was no one there to take the food. The eldest brother had tried to help out — he's the one who said, "don't kill him," he's the one who kind of protected him.

So even after being in a well for up to ten days, not being in a normal situation, Allah had given Yusuf عليه السلام so much beauty that the moment this man saw him, he was floored. يَا بُشْرَى هَٰذَا غُلَامٌ — "Oh my God, what a beautiful boy." And for them at that time, this was a huge asset because they could sell him and make some money. That's why he was so happy.

Every Blessing Has a Challenge — The Paradox of Yusuf's Beauty

You know, at times the greatest blessing can be the greatest challenge. We all know that challenges have a silver lining of a blessing in it. So if I'm going through something that's challenging, everyone tells me, "don't worry, there's a blessing in it." Have you ever heard the opposite? That every blessing has a challenge in disguise as well. Every blessing has a burden. And the burden that comes with that blessing is something that Allah believes you can handle — and that's why He gave you that blessing.

The greatest blessing of Yusuf عليه السلام — everyone has different blessings. Someone may have the blessing of wealth. But Allah knows there's a challenge in wealth as well. There's a big challenge in wealth. And sometimes Allah won't give me wealth because the challenge that comes with it is such that I can't handle it.

You sit back and ask yourself, "Why was my friend given that job and not me? Why was my friend given acceptance to that graduate program and not me? We both tried hard, we both worked hard, we both had good grades." Because that blessing comes with a challenge — that person can handle it, and maybe I can't handle it right now. There is not a blessing in life that doesn't come with a burden. And if you don't know what the burden is, it will engulf us.

The greatest blessing of Yusuf عليه السلام was his beauty — after being a prophet, it was his greatest blessing, that Allah had given him half the beauty of this world. You know what his greatest challenge was? His beauty. Every difficulty that he experienced had to do with his beauty. His brothers were jealous of him because he was more beautiful. He got pulled out of the well — normally, you pull a kid out of the well, you let him go free — but because he was so beautiful, they wanted to sell him. Later on in the story, he's cornered by the wife of the minister. Not because he was smart — because he was beautiful.

So your blessing also has a challenge that comes with it. And this is why each blessing needs a muhasabah — each blessing that we have, we have to be very present-minded and aware of how we're using it. Because that blessing can become a source of difficulty in my life.

One of the greatest blessings for parents are children. And one of the greatest challenges for parents are also children, right? Kids are a headache, but they're also a blessing. You can't live with them, you can't live without them.

So from the story of Yusuf, we learn: if Allah is not giving me that blessing right now, it's because the challenge that comes with it is something I'm not ready to handle right now. And that's why Allah is not giving it to me. We're all asking Allah for something — every one of us. If we're not asking for anything of dunya, we should be asking for something of the akhirah. If I'm not getting what I'm asking Him, maybe that blessing is real — yes, it's a blessing — but maybe the challenge that it comes with is something that I'm not ready to handle right now. And that's why Allah is not giving it to me.