Guarding The Tongue - Mufti Azeemuddin Ahmed

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Praise be to Allah, and sufficient is the prayer and peace be upon the Messenger of Allah. Allah, the Exalted, said in the Glorious Qur'an, after I seek refuge with Allah from the accursed Satan, In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

And the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said to Uqbah ibn Amir, may Allah be pleased with him, when he asked him, Who has saved you? He said, I possess your tongue, and your house, and weep over your sin. Or as the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, Respected elders and brothers, mothers and sisters, students, peace and blessings be upon you.

Allah, the Exalted, granted the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, many types of gifts, and he was gifted many miracles. And from amongst those gifts, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, I have been given the ability to be able to, in a very short, in a very few short words, express things that have very deep meanings and vast meanings. Allah, the Exalted, granted the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, the ability, as they say, to put an ocean into the cup.

In a sense that so many, so many different amazing perspectives can be taken and a person can learn and benefit from small statements of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him. And one such statement is when a companion by the name of Uqbah, may Allah be pleased with him, came to the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and asked him, Where does salvation lie in? How can I gain salvation? How can I get salvation and freedom from Jahannam, from hellfire? How can I save myself from destruction, from doom in this world and the next? A very beautiful, pertinent question that, of course, all of us would want to know the answer. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, gave a short answer to this very comprehensive and detailed question.

But the thing is, it's not about how long a talk is or how detailed a book is. It's about what level of practice do I have. Even if we bring in 10% or 5% of the things that we already know into our life, our life would be completely different.

The issue is not about what we don't know. It's the issue about what we are not practicing on that which we know. And that is something I think all of us can reflect within our own lives.

And to see the mistakes that we make. How many times do we not know genuinely that it's a mistake? And how many times we do know that this is something that is frowned upon by the Sharia, that this goes contrary to the teachings of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, yet we possibly end up doing that. So if only we were to start practicing the things that we already are well aware of, our life would be very different.

So the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, gave him just simple three pieces of advice. And I pray that it becomes easy for all of us to put this into practice. And it really would give us the greatest thing possible, which is An-Najah, Salvation.

Three Pieces of Advice from the Prophet

Number one, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, اِمْلِكْ عَلَيْكَ لِسَانَكَ, control your tongue. That's the very first thing he said. Secondly, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, وَلْيَسَعْكَ بَيْتُكَ, your house should be sufficient for you, should be vast enough for you.

And number three, وَابْكِ عَلَىٰ خَطِيئَتِكَ, cry over your sins. These are three pieces of advice that the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, gave. Each one has a whole chapter in front of it.

First Advice: Control Your Tongue

So you hear the first one, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, speaking about Sukut, speaking about remaining silent. اِمْلِكْ عَلَيْكَ لِسَانَكَ, control the tongue. There are so many hadith and various lectures and khutbas, we discussed this, we've heard it, now we need to put it into practice.

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, for example, a reporter mentioned a famous hadith where he asked the sahaba, هَلْ تَدْرُونَ مَنِ الْمُفْلِسُ؟ Are you aware of who the bankrupt person is? Are you aware of the one who has lost everything? مُفْلِسٌ is the one who has something and then lost it. Bankrupt is a person who had money and then becomes poor and improper. قَالُوا الْمُفْلِسُ فِينَا يَٰا رَسُولَ اللهِ مَنْ لَا دِرْهَمَ لَهُ وَلَا مَتَاعَ That a bankrupt person amongst us is regarded as the one who has no coins, no money, as well as no goods.

He doesn't own anything. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said إِنَّ الْمُفْلِسَ مِنْ أُمَّتِي مَنْ يَأْتِي يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ بِالصِّيَامِ وَالصَّلَاةِ وَالزَّكَاةِ That's not the case. Instead, a bankrupt person, the one who has but loses all, is the one who comes on the day of judgment with fasting, with prayer, with alms giving.

But then along with that he comes with something else. وَيَأْتِي قَدْ شَتَمَ عِرْضَ هَٰذَا He has insulted someone's honor. وَقَذَفَ هَٰذَا He has falsely accused someone of something. وَأَكَلَ مَالَ هَٰذَا And he has usurped someone's wealth. فَيَقْعُدُ فَيُقْتَصُّ هَٰذَا مِنْ حَسَنَاتِهِ He says he will sit down, and Allah will make him sit down, and all those people who he had oppressed by his tongue, notice majority of it is through the tongue, whether it's slandering, whether it's backbiting, whether it's lying to someone, whether it's deception, etc. Most of these things are done through the tongue.

The Prophet ﷺ said he will sit there, and all these people will line up, and his حَسَنَات will be taken, وَهَٰذَا مِنْ حَسَنَاتِهِ وَهَٰذَا مِنْ حَسَنَاتِهِ Each person will be told that you have now an opportunity to reward yourself and avenge yourself. You didn't get that opportunity in the hereafter. But now is your opportunity.

In the dunya, you heard someone say something to you that was hurtful. You heard someone backbite about you. You heard someone slander you.

You heard after one year, two years, that this is the tales that people are carrying about you. This is the false accusation that people were speaking about you. And you had no opportunity to defend yourself.

You had no opportunity to avenge yourself. Allah عَزَّ وَجَلَّ, the most just, He will say, Well, today is the day. Today is يَوْمُ الدِّينِ, يَوْمُ الْقِيَامَةِ, يَوْمُ الْجَزَاءِ, يَوْمُ الْحِسَابِ.

Everyone will get justice. لَا تُظْلَمُونَ فَتِيلًا لَا تُظْلَمُونَ نَقِيرًا وَلَا يَظْلِمُ رَبُّكَ أَحَدًا No oppression of any sort. So they will line up, and Allah عَزَّ وَجَلَّ will allow them to take from the حَسَنَات and the good deeds of this person who came with mountains worth of good deeds.

Allah عَزَّ وَجَلَّ, after making sure that they've gotten their own share, you will see that, Nabi ﷺ continues and he says that, قَبْلَ أَنْ يَقْضِيَ مَا عَلَيْهِمْ مِنَ الْخَطَايَا They will take all of his good deeds, yet there are still some people who he owes because of misusing his tongue. He still owes them, and the good deeds have run out. So now, there's no such thing as a rain check over there.

And because there's no opportunity to do any more good deeds. It's not like come back tomorrow, we'll refill up some good deeds, then you can take it from there. If that was the case, that would've been good.

But that's not the case. Allah عَزَّ وَجَلَّ will say then, that, أُخِذَ مِنْ خَطَايَاهُمْ فَطُرِحَتْ عَلَيْهِ That now Allah says, we'll come over here and you start offloading each person that this man has insulted, this lady has spoken ill of, backbited, attacked their honor. Now you come and line up, and you start offloading your sins.

Sins that this person never committed, never dreamed of committing. And they will be offloaded onto this person's book of deeds until a time will come where there will be absolutely no good deeds left in his book or her book. And there will only be sins upon sins piled up.

And Allah عَزَّ وَجَلَّ will then order that person, ثُمَّ طُرِحَ فِي النَّارِ will be sent to the fire of Jahannam. The Prophet ﷺ said, this is the greatest bankrupt person. Starts off with a tongue.

That we are doing great, we're doing many good deeds, but the statement that we say after our good deed, before our good deed is the very important thing. Everyone's got a story to share of how he has been hurt, she's been insulted. I don't think there's anyone who doesn't have a story.

And we have not one story, multiple stories, from this person and that person. So there is a very obvious idea that we all have, that we collectively as a community have a serious problem with our tongue when it comes to misusing it. It's a very sharp edge, and we use that to quickly doubt people's intentions, attack people's honor, attack people's values, attack people's character, and so many other ways that it's misused.

The amount of things that people, if you measure the statements that come out of their tongue, how many of times, and what percentage of that is about other people? Things that are what we call, مَا لَا يَعْنِينَا which have nothing to do with us, which are irrelevant to us. Things that have to do with other people's private business. We may be very surprised to see that a large portion, much more than we expect, much more than we hope, is actually dedicated from our tongue, from our time, in speaking about other people.

And unfortunately, the system is that most of the time it's not good. That's why one of my shuyukh and teachers, he said that in order to get rid of the habit of backbiting, he said one of the good ways to do that is that a person should make a rule with himself that I'm not going to speak about anyone who is not present, period. Because you start speaking about people who are not present, even if you start praising them, eventually the but comes in.

مَقَرٌّ However, لَكِنْ That shaitan brings it in, and then the whole conversation changes. Instead of from praises, we end up speaking so many horrible things, that we never thought we're going to be saying. So number one, Nabi Aleyhissalatu Wassalam says, أَمْلِكْ عَلَيْكَ لِسَانَكَ Control this tongue, and you'll get نَجَاح.

There are countless incidents of this from the lives of the sahaba, and the lives of the righteous who focused on this aspect. Nabi Aleyhissalatu Wassalam was once asked, أَكْثَرُ مَا يُدْخِلُ النَّاسَ النَّارَ What action will take majority of people to hellfire? What is the one common reason? You say, what is the biggest cause of lung cancer, for example? So people want to know, and say, okay, I got to stay away from that. When Nabi Aleyhissalatu Wassalam is being asked, what is the biggest cause for people entering the fire of hell? And Nabi Aleyhissalatu Wassalam said, الْفَمُ Number one.

(Sunan at-Tirmidhi)

The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, the mouth and the private parts. Meaning, people misusing their tongue, and people misusing their, and falling to the lustful lower base desires, and fulfilling that lust in a haram manner. These are the two major things that will get people into the fire of hell.

But number one, he said, was الْفَمُ, the mouth. The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam was asked by Mu'adh ibn Jabal radiallahu anhu. He said, عَنِ الْعَمَلِ الَّذِي يُدْخِلُهُ الْجَنَّةَ وَيُبْعِدُهُ مِنَ النَّارِ He said, Ya Rasulallah, what is the thing that will take me to paradise, and keep me away from hell? فَأَخْبَرَهُ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ بِرَأْسِهِ وَعَمُودِهِ وَذَرْوَةِ سِنَامِهِ ثُمَّ قَالَ The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, he told him about the most important thing.

He mentioned certain things, and he said, أَلَا أُخْبِرُكَ بِمِلَاكِ ذَلِكَ كُلِّهِ Shall I not tell you the gist of all of this, the cream of the crop, the most important thing, the most important aspect. If you get this, you got everything. And he said, yes, of course.

Please tell me what is the most important thing that if I got this, I will be able to save myself from Jahannam, and get myself into Paradise. The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, أَخَذَ بِلِسَانِ نَفْسِهِ The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam held his tongue. He held his tongue.

ثُمَّ قَالَ كُفَّ عَلَيْكَ هَٰذَا He said, be careful about this, hold it back. He held the tongue, his own tongue, and he said, hold this back. فَقَالَ وَإِنَّا لَمُؤَاخَذُونَ بِمَا نَتَكَلَّمُ بِهِ Oh Rasulullah, are we going to be taken to task for what we say, what we utter? Remember this is, Sharia is being developed.

This is new. We don't know this, every single thing. Let's ask.

So he says, are we really gonna be taken to task for what we say? Because we have this in our culture, as long as you don't touch someone, you're okay. Freedom of speech allows you to say whatever you want as long as you don't touch someone. As long as he doesn't slip in your driveway, right? Then you can sue them.

Subhanallah, that's the logic over there. But beyond that, if you want to go on media or you want to go online and you want to completely ridicule the person and you want to thrash a person and you want to attack his honor, it's the freedom of speech, you're allowed to do that. Our deen doesn't teach us that.

Our deen is not about as long as your hands are off, you're safe, absolutely not. Whether the person is present or not, whether the person heard you or not, doesn't make a difference. Whether the person was present or not, heard you or not, whether it was said in front of a crowd or whether it was said to one individual, it's all still, could be slander, could be backbiting, could be false accusation, could be buhtan.

So he asked Nabi ﷺ, are we going to be taken to task for this? فَقَالَ ثَكِلَتْكَ أُمُّكَ يَا مُعَاذٌ وَهَلْ يُكَبُّ النَّاسُ عَلَىٰ وُجُوهِهِمْ أَوْ عَلَىٰ مَنَاخِرِهِمْ فِي النَّارِ إِلَّا حَصَائِدُ أَلْسِنَتِهِمْ He said, Oh Mu'adh, what's wrong with you? Do you not understand? Do you not know? Don't you realize? They were thrown headlong into the fire, dragged on their faces, except for the actions that they had committed by their tongue. It is the result of the actions of the tongue which will take people face down, headlong towards the hellfire. If you control this, you've gotten everything.

Once Luqman Hakim was asked, after slaughtering an animal, that give us, you are a very wise person, after slaughtering this goat or lamb. He said, give me something which is the best portion of this animal, the tastiest part. فَجَاءَ بِقَلْبِهَا وَلِسَانِهَا He presented the heart and the tongue.

So then, ثُمَّ قِيلَ لَهُ It was told to him, اذْبَحْ بِهَشِمَةً Slaughter another animal. وَأَطْعِمْنَا أَخْبَثَ مَا فِيهَا Bring to us the worst part, that part of the meat, and the animal, that organ or that part which is the least tastiest, that no one would like to cook or eat. What is that? Again, فَجَاءَ بِقَلْبِهَا وَلِسَانِهَا He brought once again فَقَالَ لَيْسَ فِي الْجَسَدِ مُضْغَةٌ أَخْبَثُ مِنْهُمَا إِذَا خَبُثَتْ وَلَا أَطْيَبُ مِنْهُمَا إِذَا طَابَتْ He said, there isn't anything in the body that is worse than these two pieces of flesh when they go bad.

And there isn't anything that is more pure and better when they come right, which is the heart and the tongue. This can be the most beautiful portion of a human, and of course the worst portion of a human as well. A person has to constantly keep this tongue and this heart in check.

Nabi ﷺ in many other instances we said, instructed the companions so much so that we see the likes of Abu Bakr and Umar رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُمْا the very best of people to have walked on the surface of the earth after the Prophets. What are they doing? You see multiple instances where they are holding on to their tongues. And they are worried and stressed out.

And someone is asking them, what is it? Why is it that you're holding on to your tongue? Why is it you're stressed? And they're saying, holding on to the tongue and saying, we are worried. What is gonna happen if we end up saying something which we shouldn't be saying? And we will be held responsible for that in the eyes of Allah. So many times, it is great to remain quiet and silent when someone says something or you hear something instead of responding.

This is a training that we have to get within ourselves. مَنْ صَمَتَ نَجَىٰ As the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, in another hadith, whoever remains silent, shall gain salvation. Remaining silent will get us salvation.

Of course there are times when a person must speak up when the orders of Allah are being broken. That's there. But on a general scale, let us try our best that when we have all sorts of, you know, discussions and gossip taking place within the community.

Every day, every week it changes of different topic, different family, different personalities, etc. Those are times when these are tests from Allah, where we cannot do that. We cannot just because... If you're at a workplace gathering and wine is being served at workplace, you would never say, since everyone is drinking, it's fine.

You know, I don't usually drink, but this is a workplace, everyone is drinking today. Well, if everyone is attacking the honor of someone, if everyone is backbiting, if everyone is finding false within our own community or of a family member, that doesn't make it right for us to get involved in that. Lot of times shaitan come and says, when you say someone, you ask someone, where did you hear that from? He says, I heard it from there.

Where did you hear that from? I heard it from there. Why are you passing it on to other people? Why are you sending me this message? Why are you WhatsApping this? You say, well, I don't know, I received it. That doesn't make a difference.

That you will be held accountable separately on the day of judgment. If we have any share of misusing or rather misusing our tongue in order to attack someone's honor, backbite someone, what not. What someone does, لَا تَزِرُ وَازِرَةٌ وِزْرَ أُخْرَىٰ We are not responsible for what other people are doing.

We are responsible for our own thing. Nabi Aalayhi Salaatu Was Salaam in the next portion of this hadith said, وَلْيَسَعْكَ بَيْتُكَ Your house should be sufficient for you. There's multiple meanings of this hadith explained by scholars differently.

Second Advice: Your House Should Suffice You

One is that your house needs to come right. Okay, what does that mean? One simple meaning is that, your house should be comfortable, meaning you should spend majority of your time besides the necessary duties inside your house. By staying within the confines of your house, you will protect yourself from a lot of harm.

That's why some of the salihin have called the house of a mu'min, his saumah, have called it his sanctuary, where he protects his eyes, his tongue, his ears from haram. When you go outside, of course, there's so many other opportunities to sin. But when a person is protected in his home, as long as the environment at home is good, that is your khanqah, that's your saumah, that is your zawiyah, that's your place.

So that's one meaning of this hadith. Especially during the times of fitan, when there's wars, when there's misguidance, when there's people who are speaking from the platforms, public platforms, in a manner that is completely contrary to our deen, where people are getting confused when they hear what others have to say. In those times of fitan, those times of trials, it is important for us to do our work outside and come back, to stay protected in our environment.

That's one meaning. Second meaning of that is that our house should be islahul bayt, our house should be upright, in a sense that we need to make an effort that the environment of home, of our spouse, of our children, etc. is according to the sharia, according to the deen.

By fixing our tongue, and number two, working at home. Many a times we get motivated by khutbah, and we get excited, but we go home, and then everything just goes down. Why is that? Because the environment at home is not conducive.

So you have a chance, if you're excited about hearing something, go home with hikmah and wisdom. Try to start bringing a change. If you don't bring a change, you say, I'll do it tomorrow, or the day after.

By that time, the effect of the khutbah or the lecture has worn off. And now we're back to the environment of everyone else at home. And it's the same as it was yesterday.

Nothing happens. Khutbahs come and go. Lectures come and go.

Ulema come and visit and leave. And the change doesn't come, because we're not making effort of changing and rectifying the things at home. And lastly, the Prophet ﷺ said, وَابْكِ عَلَىٰ خَطِيئَتِكَ Cry over your sins.

Third Advice: Cry Over Your Sins

Cry over your mistakes and sins, and you will be saved. You'll get najah from that. The Prophet ﷺ in many various hadiths has spoken extensively on the importance of crying.

And we see that the sahaba and the tabi'een practiced on this. Imam Ghazali r.a mentions, لَا يَسْلَمُ مِنْ أَهْوَالِ يَوْمِ الْقِيَامَةِ إِلَّا مَنْ أَطَالَ فِكْرَهُ فِي الدُّنْيَا The only person who will be saved from the horrors of the Day of Judgment is the one who thinks about them a lot in this dunya. فَإِنَّ اللهَ لَا يَجْمَعُ عَلَىٰ عَبْدٍ خَوْفَيْنِ Because Allah will not gather two fears on one servant.

The one who fears Allah in this world will not have to fear Him tomorrow. Abu Hurairah r.a used to say at the ending in his last moments or latter portion of his life, اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ أَنْ أَزْنِيَ أَوْ أَعْمَلَ كَبِيرَةً فِي الْإِسْلَامِ Oh Allah, I seek refuge in You from fornicating. I seek refuge in You from committing the action of zina.

أَوْ كَبِيرَةً فِي الْإِسْلَامِ or any major sin in Islam. فَقَالَ لَهُ بَعْضُ أَصْحَابِهِ Some of his companions said, يَا أَبَا هُرَيْرَةَ وَمِثْلُكَ يَقُولُ هَٰذَا He said, Oh Abu Hurairah, a person like you is saying this? أَوْ يَخَافُهُ Or you're fearing something like this? What is that fearing? A major sin or zina? وَقَدْ بَلَغْتَ مِنَ السِّنِّ مَا بَلَغْتَ And you have reached such an elderly age, such advanced age. وَانْقَطَعَتْ عَنْكَ الشَّهَوَاتُ And the lustful desires have come to an end.

وَقَدْ صَاحَبْتَ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَبَايَعْتَهُ وَأَخَذْتَ عَنْهُ He says, and you have spoken to the Prophet peace and blessings be upon him face to face. You have sat in his company. You have pledged allegiance at his hands.

You have coded, Oh Allah, protect me from zina, and protect me from committing any major sin in Islam. قَالَ وَيْحَكَ وَمَا يُؤَمِّنُنِي وَإِبْلِيسُ حَيٌّ What can give me peace and security while I know Iblis, Shaytan, La'een is alive. While Shaytan, La'een is alive, how can I rest at peace? I cannot become, I cannot lower my guard and say, I'm old now, I'm a Sahabi.

I don't do that type of stuff. Absolutely not. If Abu Hurairah at this advanced age, you all know Abu Hurairah رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ, Abdur Rahman Musakhar رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ.

His name, every single day we read a hadith, his name will come. The most prolific narrator of hadith. But look at what he's saying.

He's saying, I don't trust myself. So where do I stand? Where do you stand? We don't have time to find faults in other people. We have to be worried about our own selves.

Lest it should be that we start finding faults in other people, and we become negligent of our own mistakes and faults, and then Allah Azza wa Jal allows us to fall into the very same sins that we accuse other people of. As Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, that the Prophet ﷺ said, مَنْ عَيَّرَ أَخَاهُ, the one who finds fault in a person. This is again using the tongue, going back to the first point.

About a sin that a person may have committed and has repented, Allah Azza wa Jal may very well have mercy on that person, and eventually get the same person involved in the very same sin that he's accusing others of, or speaking about as well. So to recap the hadith of today, Uqba ibn Amir رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ said, مَنْ نَجَا, where does salvation come from? Where can I get salvation and protection from hellfire? The Prophet ﷺ shared three pieces of advice. أَمْلِكْ عَلَيْكَ لِسَانَكَ, control your tongue was the first one.

Number two, وَلْيَسَعْكَ بَيْتُكَ, make sure your home is comfortable enough for you to stay there on an extra long-term basis, and then just go out when you need to. Or it means, take care of your home, and make sure there's a deen environment there. And lastly is, cry over your sins.

Conclusion

I ask Almighty Allah to grant all of us the ability to put this piece of advice into practice, and allow us to propagate it to others, and grant us all salvation.