How Bad Do You Want It? - Mufti Azeemuddin Ahmed

How Bad Do You Want It?

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. All praise is due to Allah. And peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah.

Allah, the Exalted, said in the Glorious Qur'an — after I seek refuge with Allah from the accursed Satan, in the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful:

So be steadfast as you were commanded, and those who repent with you, and do not transgress.

And the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said — in what Imam Ahmad brought out from Abdullah ibn Amr, may Allah be pleased with him:

Or as he, peace and blessings be upon him, said.

Dear respected elders, brothers, mothers, sisters, and students — السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

We Are Not Angels

Allah, the Exalted — our Creator, most merciful, most kind, most loving, most nourishing — He has made this entire life of ours, in all its facets, as one very big test: a test for our endurance, a test of our desire to please Him, a test of our willingness to withstand difficulties in order to reach our end goal, which is the pleasure of Allah.

And the makeup of a human being is much different than that of an angel. And the rewards are different as well. Allah says regarding the angels that they never become tired in the obedience of Allah. They do not become tired, they don't become lazy, they don't become bored in worshipping Allah. They never disobey any order of Allah. Not even a moment are they doing something which goes against the pleasure of Allah:

They do as they are told. And a human being is much different. Allah says:

We have guided him to both paths. And Allah says:

Whosoever wishes to believe, he may become a believer, and whosoever wishes to become a disbeliever, he may do so — We have prepared something for him. The choice is up to you. You will reap what you sow. You will reap what you sow.

Allah says:

Whoever is focused on this worldly life and the amassment of material things and immediate gratification of the nafs and the ego, and simply wants his way or her way — Allah says: عَجَّلْنَا لَهُ فِيهَا مَا نَشَاءُ — We will give you cash. We will give you what you want right now. Whatever you're asking for, no matter what sin it is, We allow you to do it. ثُمَّ جَعَلْنَا لَهُ جَهَنَّمَ — but at the end you've got nothing in the hereafter but the place of Allah's wrath, which we call hellfire, جَهَنَّم. يَصْلَىٰهَا مَذْمُومًا مَّدْحُورًا — a person will enter it disgraced.

However, on the other hand:

Whoever intends and desires the hereafter — and not simply wishes for the hereafter and a beautiful abode in paradise — وَسَعَىٰ لَهَا سَعْيَهَا and works for it, وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ while they are a believer — فَأُو۟لَٰٓئِكَ كَانَ سَعْيُهُم مَّشْكُورًا — those are the people whose efforts are going to be much appreciated by Allah. He's not simply going to appreciate it — He will truly give you more than you can imagine. Because you don't just say you want Jannah; you act as though you want Jannah. You tried your level best.

We can never, of course, do anything to truly deserve paradise, due to our weakness and meekness and the greatness of Allah. But at least we can attempt and try to show Allah. The way a child — when we're trying to teach him how to walk or trying to teach them some basic skills — you know very well that the child, the little infant, will not be able to walk from there to here. But you still say, "Stand up, come on — let's see what you do." And you wait for them. And you're 100% sure that this child will not be able to walk 100 feet or 50 feet. But you still want them to try. And then when they fall, you're there to uplift them. You're there to give them your hand. You're there to motivate them. You're there to hug them. Allah's system with us is the same. He knows we're going to fall. He knows we are bound to disobey Him at times, because of our nafs and ego and because of our surroundings — because we are not angels.

My brothers and sisters, Allah knew very well what type of human beings we were going to turn out to be. It's not that He was shocked. We don't believe in the aqeedah of bada' — we don't believe that Allah didn't know what was happening and said, "Let's try this thing out," and created us and then said, "Oh, what's going on here? These people really don't want to listen to me." As fathers, as mothers, as teachers, that happens to us all the time — we don't know what's going to happen, we try. As a manager, as a boss of a certain project, you don't know how it's going to turn out.

With Allah, He says:

Allah created you and created for you everything that you will do. And Allah says:

I have recorded every deed of yours while you have forgotten. I have recorded it all — it's all set. Allah knows what's going to happen. And that is why the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, mentioned in his very oft-quoted hadith that every single son of Adam is a sinner, and the best of sinners are those who repent.

Readjusting After Ramadan

My respected listeners, as we are now at the end of our second week after we bid farewell to the blessed, beautiful month of Ramadan, most of us are going through some type of readjustment phase. We're trying to figure out where we stand. We definitely are nowhere near where we were two and a half weeks ago, in the last ten days of Ramadan. And we are trying to hold on to our steering wheel before losing control of it — trying to make the most of it, trying to stay on the road, not being pushed off onto the side lane, or — Allah forbid — into the ditch after we've gotten off the highway.

So what teachings can we reflect on? The teachings of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and the ayat of the Qur'an.

Number one: the fact that we are not angels. Angels are the ones who remain consistent and do not get affected by their surroundings. We are human beings. If the weather changes — rain outside — you won't be able to go out like this. You'll have to have a rain jacket, an umbrella, or you'll be running to get to your car. If it gets cold, knowing Chicago, all of a sudden at Maghrib time, Isha time, we have to have a light jacket. If it gets hot, we have to take off whatever else we're wearing. We are so weak.

The human being has been created very weak. We get affected very quickly by our surroundings. If we are sitting in a gathering of the dhikr of Allah, we get motivated, we start tearing up, we start crying, our heart takes effect. And if we sit in a gathering of heedlessness and ghafla, we also forget that it's time for Maghrib, time for Isha at times. We are very quickly susceptible to change. So this is part of our fitrah. This is part of our nature. This is who we are.

We don't need to feel guilty about that. We don't need to feel disgusted with ourselves for finding fluctuations in ourselves from where we were a few weeks back. But we need to take advice from Rasulullah, peace and blessings be upon him. May Allah elevate the status of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him. May Allah reward him on behalf of the entire ummah. He has given us regulations and advice for every moment of our life. You're down — you find something. You're high — you find something. You're happy — you find something. You're sad — you find some teaching of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him.

The Hadith of Excitement and Cooling

Here he says to Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As, may Allah be pleased with him — he tells him the hadith which I mentioned to you. He said: every amal, every action of a human being, has an excitement phase — what we call in Urdu, josh. There's a josh. There's always an excitement when a person begins a certain action.

وَلِكُلِّ شِرَّةٍ فَتْرَةٌ — then with every excitement comes a cooling stage. So there's excitement in the first few weeks of marriage — it's been some time, but we remember. There's excitement. What happens? People try to spark the light. They say, "Anniversary, this thing, that thing." They're trying to bring about that excitement again. But it's an excitement you can't get back in the same way. And instead, usually there is a futur — a calmness, a coolness that comes down. You can't, every single day for the rest of your life, spend two hours eating out and spending a hundred dollars on a candlelit dinner. It doesn't work like that. Life doesn't work like that.

Then you have excitement for ibadah. A person is here 45 minutes before Salatul Isha, half an hour before Salatul Fajr, sitting a half hour after Fajr, reading mashallah 4, 6, 8, 10 juz. That's great in the month of Ramadan. But to expect that to continue for the rest of the year is something most of us really can't do. It's natural that the futur will come. Calmness will come. Coolness will come. A little bit of tapering off — that level will come. Like when you cook food and it starts boiling — whether it's chai, tea, or whatever — but towards the end, when you let it simmer, you can't have your meat or your stew boiling for an hour. You won't have much left. It needs to just slowly simmer down; you put it on low heat.

So Nabi, peace and blessings be upon him, says: every excitement phase must have a cooling phase. SubhanAllah — doesn't that give us some hope? That if I am right now in a cooling phase, this is completely expected. You install a new AC, you purchase a new car, something is happening — you call the manufacturer, you're so worried. And then the manufacturer tells you: "No, no, no, you didn't read the manual properly. This is part of the way it's manufactured. This is what's supposed to happen."

Imagine you're driving a brand new hybrid and you've never driven a hybrid. You park it in the parking lot — there are a few minutes left for Jumu'ah — and all of a sudden, before you shut it off, the car stops working. And you start getting worried. What happened? Nothing happened. That's how a hybrid works. So Nabi, peace and blessings be upon him, is saying: it's standard. With every excitement comes a cooling phase.

The Crucial Condition: Staying Within the Sunnah

Now — if a person says, "SubhanAllah, this is a beautiful hadith, I love this Jumu'ah khutbah. I'm not even getting up for Fajr, making qada' of Fajr salah, not praying Isha, doing all sorts of haram — I just heard the khatib say this is normal." No. Nabi, peace and blessings be upon him, continues the hadith. He says coolness will come. Okay. But then you have to see what happens. He says: when you are going through that phase of going down from where you were before, see what is happening.

Whoever finds himself in that cooling stage — إِلَى سُنَّتِي — he is still going to follow my sunnah, he is still doing the basics, he is still not falling into haram — فَقَدِ اهْتَدَى — then he is on the right path. فَقَدْ أَفْلَحَ — he is successful. Whoever is on the straight path, even after the passing of Ramadan and the coming of Eid and the coming of the month of Shawwal — most definitely they are not at the level of excitement and ibadah that they were before, but they are still following the basics, following the teachings — فَقَدِ اهْتَدَى.

Like whoever after a year of marriage is still not able to spend as many hours as before, but still has a beautiful relationship of understanding, of compassion, of being there — maybe not every day of the week or every minute of the day, but most definitely a few hours a day or a few hours a week, and most definitely when the spouse is needed — there's no abuse, no verbal abuse or any other type, there's understanding — then you say that's a successful marriage.

You cannot expect it to be the honeymoon phase for the rest of life. That's completely impractical. But the honeymoon phase is not useless — it's very beneficial. Because now you're taking two people, two individuals, and bringing them together, and applying what you call some crazy glue. When you apply crazy glue on two surfaces, they need to be pushed against each other and held for a minute or two. That initial bonding phase is really important — you can't be putting stress and pulling them away from each other. You have to push them together, and then afterwards they will remain together. So this honeymoon phase is really important because it brings two people who don't know each other together. However, it requires some type of special bonding. And this is what we find in the ayah of the Qur'an:

Allah is the one who puts — and I usually translate this as my own translation — passionate love in the marriage, and then compassionate love. Because two words have been used: مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً. You can understand the first word, مَوَدَّةً, as passionate love that brings them together, and then it matures into a compassionate love.

So Nabi, peace and blessings be upon him, is saying: after the passing away of that initial excitement phase — which is necessary in Ramadan, or when a person becomes a new Muslim, or when a person enrolls in an Islamic school or class — now see what's happening after a couple of months. If you find yourself following the deen afterwards, فَقَدْ أَفْلَحَ — you're successful.

وَمَن كَانَتْ فَتْرَتُهُ إِلَى غَيْرِ ذَلِكَ — and whoever finds themselves following something beyond this deen, completely falling into haram — then فَقَدْ ضَلَّ — then indeed that person has gone astray.

Holding On After Ramadan

My brothers and sisters, the simple khulasah and gist of this hadith is: after the passing of Ramadan, let's see where we are. If we are still holding on to the fara'id, the obligatory actions, and the basic sunan — we touch the Qur'an, we read a quarter a day, we've by now in two weeks read maybe two, three, four, five, fifteen juz alhamdulillah, we're showing up once a day to the masjid, sisters at home are praying regularly, maybe a little bit not right on time as soon as the time starts but a little bit later — alhamdulillah. Good. Keep it up.

But if we find ourselves slipping and falling below the threshold into haram — listening to things which are forbidden, watching things which are forbidden, talking to people who we shouldn't be speaking to, sitting in gatherings where we shouldn't be, missing our prayers outright, indulging in financial transactions that are outright haram — then we know we need to start taking care of ourselves. We are now in a very dangerous zone. The anti-lock brakes have kicked in. The airbags are about to be released. This is a very dangerous time because we are sliding and slipping.

Istiqamah: Steadfastness of Iman, Heart, and Tongue

Nabi, peace and blessings be upon him, has been ordered by none other than Allah in the Qur'an — remain obedient and remain steadfast the way you've been ordered to. Nabi, peace and blessings be upon him, is being told, but who is meant besides him? Of course, all of us. And whoever turns to Allah in repentance with you — this message is for him and for her: remain steadfast the way you've been asked to. Don't worship Allah as though He is the Lord of Ramadan and that's it. Instead, realize that Allah is the Rabb, the Lord of all months.

Nabi, peace and blessings be upon him, mentioned in a hadith: a person's iman can never be steadfast — a person's faith and belief can never remain on the right path — until the person's heart is on the right path. A person's heart cannot remain on the right path until a person's tongue is on the right path. Faith needs to be correct and steadfast, and it's not going to happen until the heart is on the right path, and the heart will not remain on the right path until a person's tongue is on the right path.

And he ended this hadith by saying: that person will not be able to enter paradise whose neighbor is not safe from his harm. Neighbor where? The neighbor next door to our residence. The neighbor who's sitting next to us in salah. The neighbor next to us in a class. A neighbor next to us in an event. Whoever is sitting around us or is connected to us in some way, shape or form — if they are so worried that you or I will attack their honor, backbite them, break their heart, hurt their feelings, or usurp their wealth; if they're always afraid, closing their pockets, holding on to their wallet — that person cannot enter Jannah.

What is that telling us, my brothers and sisters? Istiqamah of iman comes with istiqamah of the heart. Istiqamah of the heart comes with istiqamah of the tongue. And if we are letting our tongue loose on people, that means we have no istiqamah of the tongue. And if we have no istiqamah of the tongue, we have no istiqamah of the heart. And if we have no istiqamah of the heart, definitely there's no istiqamah of iman.

How many of us are thinking along those lines? That if I want to stay steadfast after Ramadan, it's not just about prayer — we need to focus on our relationships with people. Relationships with family members. Relationships with business partners. Relationships with all sorts of people. To see: how is my tongue?

Giving the Heart Rest

Nabi, peace and blessings be upon him, mentioned in another hadith as well:

(Musnad Ahmad, narrated by 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr; similar narration in Hilyat al-Awliya')

Or as he, peace and blessings be upon him, said. He said: allow your hearts to relax from time to time. Because when the hearts become bored and tired, عَمِيَتْ — they become blind. Meaning: do not overdo and over-exert yourself, so that you end up saying, "That's it, man — this is too much for me."

The ulama say shaitan attacks people from both ways. He takes people to ifrat and he takes people to tafrit. He takes people to overdo and exaggerate in their acts of worship, acts of kindness, acts of sweetness — and then he attacks people by making them do much less than they need to, falling short of what they need to. It's called ifrat and tafrit, and the middle is wasat — the middle path. One extreme is ifrat, one side is tafrit — overdoing it or underdoing it.

And shaitan does not care. The scholars say:

Shaitan doesn't care how he gets you down. Some he gets them down by obviously making them do less than they have to. But believe it or not, there are some he brings down by making them do more than they have to — because when they do more than they have to, after a while, how long does it last? Very little. Have you seen a light bulb burning out in your home? The last few seconds it becomes over-bright, and then you hear the pop — it's gone. That's what happens when a person gives too much.

Allah teaches us in the Qur'an: when you are giving charity and helping people, don't overdo it —

Don't keep your hands tied to your neck — meaning don't become stingy — and don't open them up too much either. Our deen teaches us everything, because if you become over-generous, a time will come when you say, "This is too much."

So Nabi, peace and blessings be upon him, is teaching us that it's natural, from time to time, to give yourself some relaxation. But the key thing is: when we are relaxing, ensure that we don't fall into haram.

The Advice of Umar ibn al-Khattab

We will end with the statement of Umar ibn al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him. He said:

(Attributed to 'Umar ibn al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him)

Beautiful advice. He said: these hearts go through phases of turning towards Allah and turning away. When you find yourself in an excited mode and your heart is just turning towards Allah — everything makes you cry, anything makes you emotional, you get that fuzzy feeling from the Jumu'ah khutbah — Umar ibn al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, says: فَخُذُوهَا بِالنَّوَافِلِ — at that time, hit it with nawafil! Give extra sadaqah. Hit it with an extra four rak'ah. Make qada' salah. Read an extra juz. فَخُذُوهَا بِالنَّوَافِلِ — make sure you do extra acts of worship. Be extra nice with people and so forth.

وَإِذَا أَدْبَرَتْ — but when you find your heart not so inclined, أَدْبَرَتْ means to turn away — when you find your heart running away from the masjid, Allah forbid — and may Allah protect us from making it an overlong phase, as short phases happen — but when you find your heart turning away, not so excited anymore, he says: فَأَلْزِمُوهَا الْفَرَائِضَ — make sure you force your heart to at least hold firm to the fard.

How beautiful and practical. When you are in a down phase, make sure your nafs does not drag you below the fard. Your nafs will say, "I can't do all of this." Say: "Okay — at least you have to do your fard. Nawafil you can do later. But I'm not going to let you go without this." When the child says, "I don't want to do my homework, I don't want to do this, I don't feel like it" — okay, fine. This basic stuff you have to do. The rest you do tomorrow, or do it after your break. But this basic homework, this basic chore — you have to do. The way we speak to children, we have to speak to our own nafs. We have to have this dialogue and eventually do some bargaining — but make sure you don't give up your fard when speaking to your nafs.

Closing Du'a

I pray and I beg to Almighty Allah that He allows you and I to remain steadfast after the month of Ramadan. And that He keeps us connected with His house, keeps us connected with His book, keeps us connected with the gatherings of remembrance of Allah. And that He saves all of us — at the very least — from any and all sorts of haram. Ameen.