Ramadan 2025 | The Power of Prophetic Prayers | Mufti Azeemuddin Ahmed | 03/25

Etiquettes with Parents: Do Not Frown in Their Face

Continuing from yesterday on the etiquettes of parents — we translated it, we're explaining it. Alhamdulillah, covered a lot of good concepts in it.

But let me just go over to see if there's anything else here.

Do not look at them with a frown. Do not frown in their face.

The Sign of a Weakened Nafs

Frowning in the face reminded me of something. One person went to his Shaykh for rectification. A big du'a and a theme of last night's discussion was the concern of our rectification — that was something we were really trying to emphasize on.

And so one person went to the company of his mentor, to spend time in his company, to see and to work on himself. So after spending a lot of time, he wanted to see how he was doing. The Shaykh gave him some words of praise. Then, after some time, spoke to him in a harsh manner and looked at his face.

And then he said: the sign of the nafs literally being weakened is when the praises of the people, as well as the insults of the people, mean nothing to you. That a person doesn't cheer up when someone praises him, and a person doesn't become depressed, saddened, or angry when someone says something that perhaps the person doesn't like.

Because when you're being praised, it's like someone is praising the beautiful granite wall or mihrab behind me. How foolish of me to think, "Oh SubhanAllah, I'm blushing" — that you're praising me. Brother, you're praising the wall behind me, not me. The mihrab being beautiful, what does that have to do with me? That happens to be the backdrop. That's nothing to do with me.

So when someone is being praised, the one who breaks his nafs, he regards that all praises go back to Allah. That you're praising me? Well, no, it's nothing to do with me. All comes from Allah.

Whoever is reciting Quran for five hours, whoever is doing dhikr for three hours, whoever is cleaning the pots in the kitchen doing khidmah — Allahu Akbar. There are some people who will lock the door of the kitchen and clean for two hours. Where did you get that tawfiq from? That's not normal. Whereas a person sitting there reading six hours non-stop — where did you get that himmah from? It's not normal. Whereas a person who doesn't sleep at night, just drinking a small half cup of chai after Taraweeh, listens to a talk, and then starts again. SubhanAllah. One rakah, five juz. Where do you get the himmah for that?

So honestly, this is nothing to do with us. Whoever is doing whatever he's doing, is only because Allah is inspiring him. And that same person who reads ten juz in one shot, twenty juz in one shot, thirty juz in one shot — they might be, Allah forbid, hopefully not, but they can easily have a day or two when they may not even be able to open the book. So praises — it's foolish to take those praises and become happy about it. Attribute it back to Allah, make shukr, and then say: Ya Allah, I'm getting free praise because of You. I don't need this, but I just need You to continue to give me the tawfiq to be able to do whatever these people are praising me for.

Allah in one second can bust our knees, break our hand, make a person lose his voice, make a person lose his bearings, his mind, his emotional well-being.

If a person loses his emotional, physical, or psychological well-being, he can't do anything in the world. Just like that.

Controlling Anger and Composure

So, the idea — this was a side point — we were talking about frowning. That a person should see: if someone says something to me, how well do I control my anger? How well do I keep my composure? How well do I mask my emotions? And say, لِلَّهِ — I forgive people for the sake of Allah.

I remember one of my classmates — a pious, righteous brother — one day some other kids were making fun of him. Bullies, you know, in the school. And sometimes it just goes on and on and really pushes the limits. So this one student was pushing the limits on another student. The student being made fun of was physically much, much stronger. But I saw he wasn't responding. And not only was he not responding, he was crying.

So I'm like, what? You're crying because of this guy saying stuff? I don't understand. So I asked him afterwards: why were you crying? And he said: I was controlling my anger, because I really wanted to smack him. But I know that I shouldn't do that. So I was controlling my anger. And the process of controlling anger was so tough that I had to release the stress. The tears came out.

These were not tears of sadness. These were tears of anger. Due to the intensity of the pressure being built within himself — of kathmul ghayth, controlling anger — these tears came out. You have tears of happiness, you've heard, yes? But tears of anger — that's something I witnessed.

So SubhanAllah, the idea is: I'm going to try my best to keep my composure, not show my anger. This is the goal we want to get at. You smash that nafs. You tell the nafs: what are you getting mad about? You know what, whatever he said about me — Allah knows and I know — I'm more sinful than whatever he said. He says, you are ugly, you're fat, you're short, you're foolish, you're poor. By these words, honestly I deserve worse than that. Allah knows how many sins I've committed. So this guy, he's just giving me these little adjectives. They don't even do justice to how filthy, dirty, and sinful I am. That's how a believer thinks. He just steamrolls his nafs.

So now you and I are supposed to act like this with everyone. Then imagine how we're supposed to act in front of our parents.

You should not frown in front of them.

Teaching Children the Etiquette of Shame and Haya

I was mentioning in the previous twenty-day dars — the first twenty days of this class — that this is the training we have to give to our own children and students. When you're in trouble, or your parents are upset at you, you do not stare at them in the eye. Instead, a person who is remorseful and ashamed looks down — and that's good, because alhamdulillah there is shame there.

This aspect of how to express shame is also important for parents to teach. When a child is walking around in diapers in front of guests, you have to tell him. If the dad and mom did not teach him what haya was, a five-year-old will also be walking around like this. Similarly, what is the proper etiquette when someone gets upset with you? How are you supposed to respond? Where should you be looking? How should your head be positioned? That is something parents must teach their kids. And I'm a parent as well, and I tell you, it's not easy.

Of course, in this day and age, there is something in the air — bayadi is in the air. Disrespect is in the air. For the most part, it's very tough. Even though they are very good-hearted people — but haya is just missing in the world.

My mother tells me that in the 1960s when she was in medical school in India — with Hindus, non-Muslims — the Hindu girls also knew that you never want to be caught speaking to a boy in public. The culture of haya was so prevalent even in medical school in India. There was gender segregation, and the idea was that girlfriend-boyfriend culture is not proper etiquette, even if you're not a Muslim. Where are we at now? In Muslim and Hindu culture alike, Astaghfirullah. Haya is just completely gone, destroyed.

So what are you going to do? Are you just going to blame the zamana, blame the era? No. We ourselves have to sit down and say: we can't do stuff like this. We cannot speak to our parents like this. We cannot speak to our grandparents like this. This is how we're supposed to dress. This is how you're supposed to look. This is where you're supposed to look. When your dad calls you, this is how you're supposed to respond. Just like you don't call your dad by his first name, you don't say "pops" either.

And I remember one of my classmates, one of my ustadh's sons. SubhanAllah, it was so nice — may Allah give us tawfiq. Whenever he would speak to his mother or father, he would always use the words Abajan and Ammijan. And I was just thinking, man, the word itself is just so nice. It's kind of hard to give back answers. "Ammijan, I hate you." Astaghfirullah. The words themselves are so sweet, they demand respect.

Growing up we had non-Muslim neighbors, and sometimes we'd hear the kids calling their dads by their first name. That was in the 80s. SubhanAllah. But now, bit by bit, we're seeing things happening within our Muslim community as well — that respect is just falling away. So the purpose of highlighting this is that change comes from within ourselves.

You and I cannot control the environment outside. What we need to control is the environment at home. If we teach strong principles at home and create our children into good, resilient Muslims, then inshallah, wherever they are, they will have the moral compass to do what's right. But no madrasa, and no Islamic school, and no masjid, can teach what you and I can teach at home. The madrasa and Islamic school are at most a supplement. But the real powerful madrasa is the lap of the mother. It starts off with that. Whatever story she tells the kid when nursing the child, when putting him to sleep, when feeding the child — those things will always stick forever.

And so that goes back to: faqidush-shay'i la yu'tihi — if you don't have it, you can't give it. If you don't have akhlaq, if you don't have adab, you don't have taqwa, you don't have tahara — how are you supposed to pass this on to your kids?

Du'a for Marriage, Tarbiyah, and Righteous Children

And so now this goes back to unmarried men and women. Create within yourself something as you are building your resume for marriage. Do not just focus on what you can show to be able to get a job. That's not what marriage is. Marriage is not a paid position. Marriage is a whole aspect of tarbiyah.

So, in the month of Ramadan as we have just a few days left, I want all of us to focus on making du'a:

Number one — for those who are not married: Ya Allah, make me a man or a woman of tarbiyah, a man and a woman of taqwa, a man and a woman of modesty, a man and a woman of morals and ethics.

Number two — allow me to then find a spouse like that, who matches me in that.

And number three — allow me to then be able to impart it to my kids.

And those who are already married — it's never too late. A person can start making du'a to Allah for themselves, and then start making du'a to Allah for their spouse. Because more than likely, our spouses and us will die before our kids. So in the process, as we worry about our kids, we also have to worry about each other. And I fear that doesn't happen too often — that wives and husbands may not care about one another as much as they care about their kids. That's not how it's supposed to be.

You married her or you married him first.

You are each other's garment. Your kids inshallah have many other ways to improve — schools, this and that. But you're in your 40s, you're in your 50s. Where is your spiritual buddy? Who's your spiritual buddy? It's got to be your spouse.

So in these final days and nights, we should be making lots and lots of du'a for our spouses. Every wife should be making du'a for her husband. Every husband should be making lots of du'a for his wife. I have this feeling that parents are making 99% of their du'as for their kids, and they actually don't make du'a for themselves or for each other. Ya Allah, make my son pray. Ya Allah, give my son good character. Ya Allah, get him a good wife. All that stuff. How about yourself?

If we don't have time for ourselves, we definitely don't have time for our spouse. Our spouses deserve that we pray for them. It's their right upon us that we pray for them. And you will stand to benefit immensely. If your spouse is on the deen, you will benefit from that more than your children being on the deen — more than likely. And we are not too far away from our graves. Our children inshallah have many years more. We have to worry, before our first night in the grave, that we are in a good situation.

The Etiquette of Travel: Seeking Parents' Permission

And he says:

Do not travel without their permission. If a person wants to leave out of town or go outside, wherever it may be, he needs to take permission from his parents. And at the very least, make them agreeable to some degree.

Yesterday, for those of you who were here for the Gaza fundraiser — you had Dr. Thayer speaking. There was another physician with him that I attended an event with, and both physicians were sharing their experiences. One of the other physicians, he's from Lebanon. So after the Lebanon bombing started — five or six months ago — he said, "I have to travel. I could not handle this." So he told his mother and father: "I'm going." He bought his tickets, did all the arrangements. He's married with kids. He told his mother and father that he's going. And he said, both of them just lost it. "No way, you can't go. You're going to die there. What's going to happen?"

His mother was forcing him to put his hand on the Quran and take an oath that he would not go, and would miss his flight and the whole humanitarian mission. And he's like, "Mom, I can't do this." The dad said, "I absolutely don't support you. I'm so upset at you." And he said, "I felt bad. I want to go do a humanitarian mission to go help people in Lebanon. How can I go while making my parents so upset? Yes, I wanted to serve and save lives. But how am I allowed to keep my mom and dad so angry like this?"

So what would you do? The answer — a'mal and du'a. Win their hearts through good character. And make du'a to Allah.

His flight was in the morning, 7 or 8 a.m. He said: I woke up hours before Fajr and started my Tahajjud salah. And I sat there and I cried. He said: I spent hours crying in Tahajjud. "Ya Allah, I'm a couple of hours away from my flight, and I might not be able to make it if my mom and dad are like this. I don't want to make them upset. Ya Allah, please do something for me."

And SubhanAllah — he said that when he finished Tahajjud and spoke to his parents before or after Fajr, his dad told him: "Every cell in my body supports you. Every drop of blood I have, I'm with you, brother. Go." The mom was crying and said: "My son, my du'as are with you. Go." SubhanAllah. Allah is a changer of hearts.

My point is: when you see difficulty with your parents — you want to come study the deen, and parents say no. I hear this all the time. "I want to take a year off from college and come study the deen — my mom said no way." Or: "I want to marry a righteous person, I want to have a simple wedding — my parents said no." Or: "I want to do I'tikaf — my parents said no."

Our job? Never become harsh with your parents. You're not allowed to. There are one or two incidents of people wanting — as they say — to be more Christian than the Pope. They want to be all pious, and in the process of being pious, they're actually being disrespectful to their parents. And that is absolutely not acceptable. That is jumping from the frying pan into the fire.

Remember this: ibadat sometimes becomes nafs. We talked about it yesterday. Ibadat can become nafsani. It's very scary, man. It's very scary. The nafs is so khabith, so evil. May Allah protect us from this evil — say ameen. He's always after us. And sometimes he uses ibadat. It's not ibadat, it's actually nafs. You're enjoying it. It is not for the pleasure of Allah. So at times a person is following his nafs and not realizing what he's doing. Follow your parents. Break that nafs.

Using A'mal to Change Hearts: Isal al-Thawab

So what I'm saying is: if you want to do something and your parents are not agreeing with it, then make sure you use a'mal. What are some of the a'mal we can do? Of course, good character with them. Number two is isal al-thawab. Give a hundred dollar sadaqah every single day in the last nights. And say: "O Allah, change the heart of my mother. Change the heart of my mother-in-law. Change the heart of my father-in-law. Change the heart of X, Y, Z."

Sadaqah is very beneficial. And it doesn't have to just be sadaqah. Along with sadaqah — Quranic recitation, dhikr. It softens the hearts. One of my teachers shared with me the power of Surah Yasin and Surah Rahman — that through them, a person can make niyyah of isal al-thawab and the hearts will soften. Alhamdulillah, I've shared this prescription with people and it has been found to be so beneficial. Read Surah Yasin and Surah Rahman every day. And say: "O Allah, I ask You to dedicate the reward of this to so and so." But you've got to read with yaqeen. You have to read it while you're crying. Say: "O Allah, please — this situation is too hard. X, Y, Z has a really tough heart. They are not moving, they are not budging." And SubhanAllah, through the barakah of this, you'll see changes, inshallah.

Categories of People: Friends, Acquaintances, and Strangers

He says — and he knows that the people who have relations with you, after the categories of your parents, your children, your student as a teacher, and the first category of Allah — the rest of the people who have relations with you fall into three further categories:

Either friends and brothers, or acquaintances, or people you do not know. This is such a beautiful discussion we're in I'tikaf. We have so many people here, and they're going to fall into these three categories. There are people who are your friends and brothers. There are people who are acquaintances — you don't really know them, you've seen them, bumped into them in the basketball court or some program or in salah sometime. And majahil — people you have no idea who they are.

The Etiquette of Dealing with Strangers (Majhul)

He says:

When you are tested with people you do not know of the general public, the etiquette of sitting with them entails two things:

Number one — avoid getting involved in their conversations or discussions.

Number two — do not pay much attention to their chit-chat. Don't even listen to their chit-chat. It's actually harmful. If you happen to hear something harmful, say أَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهَ، أَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهَ، أَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهَ.

One of our most honored teachers here — I won't say his name — one day was traveling in a Greyhound bus. He was on a six or seven hour journey. A guy sat next to him, and another guy boarded at one of the stops. They looked at each other and recognized each other from prison. So now this Maulana has one guy behind him and one guy to his left. And they both start talking — shamelessly, on a bus of fifty or sixty people — about the people they've killed, the gangs they ran, remembering that day they did this and that. The bus driver tried to intervene, and the man threatened him. The Maulana said: I was just shivering the whole time, waiting — "Ya Allah, when is this bus ride going to end?" — having to hear more curses than he had heard in his entire past life and the next fifty years of it combined.

This is a beautiful example of what the author is speaking about. So those are the two etiquettes: do not engage in their conversations, and do not pay attention to their chit-chat.

Protecting Our Hearts and Eyes from Filth

I remember going to traditional college here after madrasa, coming back. Alhamdulillah, at least I was an imam at that time, and Darussalam's hifz class and alim class had started. So I was grounded in these different places. But I was still finishing up my college degree. And before the professor walks in, what happens in the classroom is exactly what I was speaking about. You wouldn't want anyone to have to hear this type of stuff. The type of trashy, disgusting things that twenty-two, twenty-five year olds are talking about. And sometimes there were incidents where a dirty professor would also join the conversation.

Parents don't know what your kids have to go through. Although alhamdulillah I was an imam, teaching, and doing so many beautiful things that kept me grounded — I just feel sorry for all those kids, which is 99.99% of the girls and boys.

How many moms or dads here would allow some inappropriate picture to show up on their TV in the presence of their daughter while sitting next to her? Your haya would not allow that to happen. But I wish you knew what your eighteen-year-old daughter has to hear and watch every single day. Yes, she's wearing her niqab — that 0.00001%. She can be wearing whatever she wants. But what she's exposed to in college — and what the boys are exposed to — is beyond disgusting. And I can say with almost strong assurance: if you were to go to that classroom, you would not even wait till the end of the period. You would drag your kids out.

You've tried so hard to keep them safe their whole lives. And for them to sit and hear this — not once in a lifetime, but four periods or four hours a day, three to five days a week, for the next five, six, eight, ten years — is disgusting. Because our children, unfortunately most of them, are not grounded.

When I was going to college, as I said, I was full-time doing everything. College was like a small blip in my life. And alhamdulillah, but I tell you still — it had a bad effect. How can it not have a bad effect? When you have every single day hours of people speaking the most vile, disgusting things shamelessly around you.

You need to listen to Quran, or listen to nasheeds, or just have silence, because that's what the discussion calls for. And seriously, if you wear glasses, look down and walk. Keep something in your ears. One physician told me: "When I'm walking around the hallways of the hospital, there's all kinds of fitna there too." He said: "I literally look down at my phone and walk — whether I'm doing dhikr, reading Quran, or reading a medical record. I use my phone as a protection for my gaze." SubhanAllah. Look how the phone can be used as a double-edged sword. And don't take that example and say, "Mama, I need to keep my phone with me at night to guard my gaze." Right? No. Most people are misusing it — either over-usage or haram use, not just the youth but adults as well.

One big Mufti sahib — his murids told me this story — was sitting in the airport playing Tetris and Snake. Someone said, "Hazrat, are you playing a game?" And he said: "There are two options. I'm sitting in the airport waiting for my flight. Either I look down at a game, or I look up. If I look up, it's haram." He said: "If I look up, all you see is scantily dressed people everywhere. If I look down, I can at least keep my gaze protected from haram."

We don't think about that. It's like secondhand smoke — secondhand smoke kills, the doctors tell us. You can't take it for granted. So understand: when we listen to trashy talk, and Allah forbid we're seeing it — stop thinking your heart is not becoming darkened. One hundred percent it is. Mine, yours, anyone's. That is why you have to cleanse yourself every single day. And it cannot be once a year in Ramadan. Because by that time the heart is so blackened we might not even want to come. And if we come, we might not want to participate, we might not feel it.

Remember, Ramadan and I'tikaf are not just about kissing the ground and doing forty rakahs of nafl. It's about praying — but with ihsan. Reading Quran with ihsan. Doing du'a with ihsan. And it's very hard to have ihsan if the heart is extremely polluted from the filth that we saw and that we heard.

A Heartbreaking Story: The Danger of Sending Children to University Unprepared

So what is our appeal to parents? Understand where you're sending your kids. At times it may be a necessary evil for certain goals. But there is a rule in fiqh:

When you have a need for something, you can only use it equivalent to the need. If someone is starving on an island without food and there are no animals there except pigs — can he eat pork? Yes. How much? Only enough to survive. You cannot use it beyond the need. So if it is sometimes necessary even for boys to go to college, stay at home and go to college. If you got accepted into an amazing school, then one of the parents move. Get an apartment, let your son stay in your apartment and go. Or find practicing, good Muslims with similar values to share housing with. Travel to see them every single week if possible. Why not? That's the best place to spend your money. Go check on your kids. Friday to Sunday, go spend time with them. Every other week, have them fly out.

And the goal should be: you do your class, and you get right back. When you get back, don't sit idle at home — go to the masjid. Go to a university that has an active masjid next door. Go meet the chaplain and the imam of the masjid in advance. Say: "This is my son, this is my daughter — I need you to take care of them." And a gift goes a long way. Why not send a gift and say: "Please, I would like you to take care of my kids." Allahu Akbar.

Can I share a story? Heartbreaking as it is, and I want all of us to make du'a for this.

There was an incident some time ago where someone shared with me a screenshot of an Instagram account. The picture of a brother, and his welcome message — thanking everyone for voting him in and trusting him, saying he would be the best representative as president of the Pride Club at one of the largest public universities. And I knew him very well. And I know his parents.

When someone sent that screenshot, I was like, SubhanAllah, how in the world did this thing spiral out of control? So I reached out to his parents to share it with them — because who's going to do this? Who's going to give the bad news? Someone's got to do it. It took me about forty-five minutes to fifty minutes to share it with his dad. His dad — very educated, very wealthy, from a clean, good background overseas — had never even heard of what an LGBTQ club was. I had to spell it out for him. And it was just devastating. It took me forty-five minutes to an hour.

I remember I was in a house, people were waiting for me to begin a talk. I said, "Why don't you all eat food, then I'll talk." And I went into a bedroom and had this crazy, stressful conversation with this father. And he's like, "Thank God his mom's not here right now, she would have a heart attack." I said, "No problem, when she comes back, I'm ready to explain to her as well." And the next day we had another forty-five minutes — an hour and a half call.

What was shocking, my brothers, is that these parents — and I say this with absolute pain in my heart, because I love them, they're very close to me — these parents did everything you would think they could have done. They sent their child to an Islamic school. The extent that they went to in order to send him to an Islamic school is shocking — the amount of time, money, and resources they put in, because they didn't have these things available in their own area.

But SubhanAllah — when the student went to college, he ended up mixing with different people. And the parents would keep in touch by phone. But what do dads ask? "Beta, are you praying?" Honestly, if your kid is not praying and you ask him, "Are you praying?" — that's already a problem. And if he's in a situation like that, asking him doesn't get you anywhere. You have to check on him without him knowing you're checking. Call them at Fajr time. After Fajr, speak with them. You can tell if someone prayed — they're up, awake, and alert.

But naturally the father would ask, and his son would say, "Yes, I'm praying." He just could not fathom the news I was telling him. And then he said: "Mufti Sahib, you're right. I have come to accept, I've come to terms, that this has happened to my son. That not only has he become this, but he's become the president of the entire club." He said: "I had a hard time believing you, but then I looked at their website, and it says weekly meetings on Wednesdays. And it's true — every other day I used to call him, and if it ever happened to be on a Wednesday, he would say, 'Baba, I have a meet-up, I have to go.'"

These are not isolated incidents. The fortunate thing about this person's parents, alhamdulillah, is that they are connected to the deen. I connected them with some ulema. And I'm very hopeful — things already started improving. And today, with your du'a, I hope every single son and daughter of the ummah who has fallen into a trap like this, Allah will bring them back.

And I want you all to know: if you make du'a for other people's kids, Allah will take care of your kids. If you make du'a for other people's children who have fallen into a trap, Allah will depute an angel to say ameen to your du'as and say: "Allah, protect your kids as well." So I mean it — we need to take to heart making du'a for the children of the ummah.

This is a very serious issue for all of us. Understanding that our responsibility towards our children is not only paying for their college tuition. That's a small part. Making sure they survive and come out clean is the main thing. Of course, marriage is something that helps immensely. Getting married early — in the first year of college — is a very important way to protect our sons and daughters.

They are each other's garment. You have to save your husband from falling into haram, you have to save your wife from falling into haram. That's it.

So if you have to send them to college, I've given you tips — and there's a lot more to go — but you get the point. You have to go out of your way to protect them. Fly with them, travel with them, keep in touch with them every single day. Make sure they're with good Muslim friends. And always be smart. Why are we so smart in the dunya, but when it comes to working with our kids we get a smoke screen? We get fooled. He got praised, mashallah, she put such a nice beautiful scarf on, and we fall for it. Looks are deceiving. You have to know how to think the way a police officer does. A police officer sees a guy jumping through a window — he doesn't just say, "Oh okay," and move on. He investigates. Similarly, when we're dealing with our children, we need to be careful.

I say this as a father — I'm very worried myself. I say this to my fellow fathers and mothers: this is a very tough time. And in this tough time, you have to ask Allah for guidance, number one. And you have to make du'a — not only for your kids, but for the kids of the ummah. And what did we start off with today? Make du'a for your spouse. Because if the spouses are not on the same page, it's almost impossible to keep the kids on the right path. The spouses have to be connected.

A Comprehensive Istighfar

We'll do one istighfar:

What does it mean? "O Allah, I seek Your forgiveness for every sin." These are the evil effects of sins — every day we're covering some aspect of them.

"O Allah, I seek Your forgiveness for every sin that diverted me from the way to which You guided me." So number one: this sin — what does it do? Allah already put you on a right path, but because of one sin, we end up getting diverted from that right path.

Number two — wa amartani bihi aw nahaytani anhu: "or from doing what You had commanded me, or avoiding what You had forbidden me." Meaning: ya Allah, I end up, after committing a sin, leaving that which I'm supposed to do — or doing that which I'm not supposed to do.

Or — dalaltani alayhi mimma fihi al-hazdu li: I commit one sin, and then stop doing something in which there is prosperity, attainment of Your pleasure, Your love, and Your nearness. Meaning: there are some good deeds in life that if you do them, you'll get Allah's love, you'll get close to Allah, and your own soul will benefit. But because of that sin, we get deprived of doing such a good deed — one that would have otherwise made us close to Allah, gained us Allah's pleasure, and allowed us to benefit in this world as well.

There are some good deeds that get you everything: closeness to Allah, Allah's love, and also take care of your own needs. But because of one sin, we get deprived of that good deed. So we are seeking forgiveness from any such sin that carries the ramifications mentioned — SubhanAllah — in this du'a.

InshaAllah we can proceed downstairs, and we'll begin the du'a.