Reflect & Connect | Surah Ahqaf - Ep.04 - Mufti Azeemuddin Ahmed | 02/04

We ask Allah that he allow all of us to benefit from the gems of the Quran. May he make every one of us an ashiq and lover of the Quran. May Allah facilitate for all of us to recite it, recite a large portion of the Quran on a daily basis, and spend some time reflecting on the meanings of it. May Allah enable all of us to implement the teachings in our life and allow our life to become a da'wah towards the Quran by itself. May Allah not make our sins a means of all of us — or any of us — being deprived from the barakāt of the Quran. And may Allah allow us to fully immerse ourselves in Quran, especially in the months of Sha'ban and Ramadan, and allow these two months to be the best we've ever spent in our life. May Allah allow us to find answers to our questions and solutions to our problems through the barakah of this majlis. Whatever issues we have come with, we ask Allah that he allow us to leave with answers, and whatever mistakes we have come with, may Allah allow this gathering to become a means of forgiveness for that. Allow us to leave rejuvenated in a state far better than we were when we entered this masjid and the majlis. Ameen, Ameen, Ameen.

Opening Du'a

The Āyāt of Sūrah Al-Aḥqāf

Enjoining Goodness to Parents

Allah says: Indeed, thus We have enjoined on every human being — al-insān, every human being. So this alif-lām includes all human beings. We have enjoined upon them waṣṣaynā — when Allah uses the word waṣiyyah, it means in the meaning of amr. We are ordering, and we are advising every human being to be good — iḥsānan — loving kindness — biwālidayhi — towards one's parents. Ḥamalat-hu ummuhū kurhan — one's mother bore one in pain. Wa waḍa'at-hu kurhan — and delivered one in pain. Wa ḥamluhū wa fiṣāluhū thalāthūna shahr — and the term of one's bearing and weaning is 30 months in all. Ḥattā idhā balagha ashuddahu — until at last when one reaches full maturity. Wa balagha arba'īna sanah — reaching 40 years of age. Qāla rabbi awzi'nī an ashkura ni'mataka — one shall say: "My Lord, dispose me — inspire me always, give me the tawfīq always — to give thanks for your grace, which you have graced me with, and you've graced my parents with. And that I do righteous deeds which you are pleased with — not just righteous deeds, but righteous deeds which you are pleased with. Wa aṣliḥ lī fī dhurriyyatī — and make righteous for me my children. Indeed I have repented to you, and most surely I am of those who are Muslims — meaning in willing submission to Allah alone."

It is from these people that We will accept the good they did and overlook their misdeeds — fī aṣḥābi'l-jannah — along with other residents of Jannah. Wa'da'ṣ-ṣidqi'lladhī kānū yū'adūn — this is in fulfillment of the true promise that they have been given.

The Disobedient Child

On the other hand, there is another person — one who says to his parents: "Off to you! Do you promise me that I will be brought forth from the earth when generations before me have already passed on?" And the parents call to Allah and say: "Woe to you, O my son — or daughter — my child, believe! Indeed the promise of Allah is true." But the child says: "This is not but the tales of the former people."

These are the ones against whom the word of doom shall come to pass — al-qawl, the word of doom, meaning Allah saying "be destroyed," and so you're destroyed. That is the qawl, the word of doom, as it was with those disbelieving communities — min al-jinni wa'l-ins — communities both of jinn and humans — that have passed before them, previous jinn communities and human communities that were disbelievers, and how they've all been destroyed eventually. That is how this person, this son and this daughter who has become disobedient to Allah and turned against his parents, will also eventually be destroyed. Innahum kānū khāsirīn — indeed they were all losers. They all lost out on the opportunity of being inhabitants of Paradise.

Recap: Istiqāmah and the Meaning of Īmān

Last week, the āyah before that was about istiqāmah — in the living part of it — fa'staqim kamā umirt — and the idea of remaining steadfast, and the fact that this is the most important thing that a person can be blessed with. The Prophet ﷺ would say:

(Sahih Muslim, Book 1, Hadith 62)

"Say: I believed in Allah, then have istiqāmah." And we talked about the statement:

Laysa'l-īmānu bi't-taḥallī wa lā bi't-tamannī — Īmān is not about wishful thinking, and not about adorning yourself in a certain way. Walākin mā waqara fi'l-qalb wa ṣaddaqahu'l-'amal — Īmān is that which takes root in the heart and the actions testify to it. So it is not a dressing that a person wears — a kurta or a thobe or whatnot. This is not Īmān. Īmān is something which goes deep into the heart and a person's actions speak louder than anything else that he is a true believer.

The Hadīth of 12,000

And there is a hadīth — I don't think I got a chance to mention that last week — but the Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sunan Abī Dāwūd, Hadith 2962; Sunan al-Tirmidhī, Hadith 3363)

My ummah — if there are ever 12,000 ummatis, they will never be overwhelmed, they will never be destroyed, they will never be vanquished because of their numbers being less. If you've got 12,000 Muslims, you can take on anyone. Are they gonna always win? No, we're seeing it today. We're way more than 12,000 — we're well even more than 1.2 billion. But the Prophet ﷺ says: you're never gonna be destroyed out of less numbers. You will be destroyed because you're not true Muslims. So if out of the 1.2 billion or 1.5 billion, if we even just had 12,000 real people, we'd be in a different situation.

It's interesting that in the incident of Badr, we know the numbers were very less — only 313 — and Allah granted them an amazing, amazing victory. And then years later, in Hunayn, towards the end of the Prophet's ﷺ life, he had 12,000 strong. Allah even says:

Your numbers were very pleasing to you — you looked at your numbers and said: "Wow, we are a very strong army." What an amazing āyah — we should write this and keep it right front and center of our tables every day. Kathra is mu'annath, feminine. Falam tughnī is referring to kathra. Kathra, hādhihi'l-kathra lam tughnī 'ankum shay'an — this huge abundance that you had in Ḥunayn was not able to save you. In Badr you were not saved by numbers; you were saved by Allah. And in Ḥunayn, your numbers again failed the test — they were not able to assist you in any way, because you were not in the right frame of mind, not the right mindset, the right spiritual preparation that needed to be done was not present.

The True Conditions for Du'ā to Be Accepted

How many places is du'ā being made right now? And you wonder why — with all this qalīlan as it is — Allah Masha'Allah... I have a feeling that you can't give orders to Allah. You can't give orders to your kids, you can't give orders to your spouse — how can you give orders to Allah? If you want to ask Allah of something, then what you have to show to Allah is that you actually mean something, and that's a very big part of today's tafsīr. Three things are required:

A person needs to do amal, and a person needs to do amal with ikhlas. A person needs to work hard, then they need to do it in a manner that is pleasing to Allah, then they need to have ikhlas, and then they need to make du'ā. So if a person does not do actions and jumps to orders — "O Allah, do this" — it doesn't work like that. You have to build it up in order to get du'ā accepted.

We say to each other: "How dare you walk into my office and ask for this? What have you done to even deserve a good answer from me?" Imagine then with Allah. What audacity do you have to sit there and curse everyone? Instead, the du'ā that we have to make is a long one:

"O Allah, help us against our own selves — against our nafs. Help us vanquish our own desire for sin. Help us vanquish our own lustful desires. Help us vanquish our own little Shayṭān within us. Help us destroy our addictions to disobedience — ḥattā nastaḥiqqa nuṣrataka 'alā a'dā'inā — until we become then worthy of your assistance against our enemies."

The enemy first that we have to conquer is within ourselves. So we have to ask Allah's assistance to destroy the enemy within ourselves — our own nafs, our Shayṭān, and our bad deeds. Once that du'ā gets accepted, then subḥanAllāh, we hope that the next step will happen — that we will become worthy of Allah assisting us against external enemies.

My beloved friends, if a person doesn't think that this is the right du'ā, then I don't know where we can even begin. Always recognize that the evil is within us first. Until we do not destroy that evil within us, until we do not burn away our own disobedience and sins from our own lives, we cannot expect Allah's help. So this is the idea of 12,000 strong — they will never be overcome because of less numbers; if they are ever going to be destroyed, it is because they are spiritually weak.

Responding to Difficulty with Increased 'Ibādah

There has to be an awakening within the ummah all across the globe. When the Palestine jamā'at was here, about four or five months ago, they said the effort of da'wah and tablīgh is taking place in Gaza as well — within the rubble, jamā'ats are going out, they're inviting people to pray ṣalāh. But they were saying that even in Gaza, reminder is required. It's not that if there's a flood happening or a fire happening or a bombardment happening anywhere in the world, 100% of the people start praying. Just look at our own selves — how many times you've got a problem going on: wife is upset, husband is upset, kids are upset, parents are upset, job is about to get lost, you lost a lot of money in some investment, you're physically sick. How many of us utilize this pain to turn towards Allah and increase our tilāwah?

"I need to cancel my Quran class because I'm too overwhelmed." "Did you do your dhikr?" "No, I'm too overwhelmed, I stopped doing my dhikr." "Are you coming to the masjid?" "Actually, I'm too depressed, I can't go to the masjid anymore." This is what I see all the time. A vast majority of people, instead of responding with an increase in 'ibādah, the first thing they do is cut off 'ibādah — cut off dhikr, cut off tahajjud, cut off fasting, cut off the Quran — because they say "I got a lot going on in my life right now."

A small percentage recognizes: "My manager is about to fire me, my wife is about to leave me, my kids are doing this — okay, guess what, the solution to all of this lies with Allah." Instead of feeling overwhelmed and stopping praying and fasting and dhikr and du'ā — that would be a really foolish thing. This is the time I need Allah more than anything else. This is the time where I have to — tadhakkur billāh — I have to ask Allah through 'ibādah and du'ā more than anything else.

So the order is: first do juhd and sa'ī, then after sa'ī, that sa'ī has to have ikhlas — tarḍāhu — it has to be pleasing to Allah. And then lastly, we make du'ā. So Allah mentions here that We have enjoined on every human being goodness and loving kindness towards one's parents.

Ṭā'ah vs. Iḥsān: The Rights of Parents and Children

Moving on from the previous āyah of istiqāmah, then we move on to the aspect of ṭā'ah towards Allah and iḥsān towards parents. The Prophet ﷺ said in a famous hadīth:

(Musnad Aḥmad, Hadith 1095; al-Mu'jam al-Kabīr of al-Ṭabarānī)

No obedience to the creation if it entails disobedience to Allah. So ṭā'ah is only for Allah. But when it comes to iḥsān, we do iḥsān towards parents — meaning we will go out of our way to be super kind, super generous, super caring — as long as we won't call it ṭā'ah.

Wa man yuṭi'illāha wa'r-rasūla — iṭā'ah or ṭā'ah is only for Allah. So sometimes a person in the process of being kind to his parents — this is where Sharī'ah comes in. What are the ḥudūd? What are the limitations of everything? Everything has limitations. You have to know the ḥudūd. What are the ḥuqūq of my mum and dad? What are the ḥuqūq of my husband, my wife? What are the ḥuqūq of my children? What are the ḥuqūq of my business partners? We cannot do ẓulm on anyone. You cannot over-correct — you cannot put so much effort on one side to a degree that the other side gets missed out. So much care for the children that the spouse's needs get missed. So much care for the spouse that the children miss out. So much care for the parents that the spouse misses out. So much care for the spouse that the parents miss out. This is the responsibility of all of us — to fulfill the ḥuqūq in an appropriate manner.

So if a person is working with his dad in a company and the dad says, "I want you to take on an interest-bearing loan" — a person cannot obey. "I want you to stand at the lottery machine or the liquor counter at the store" — these are things where we have to say: "No, I'm sorry, I can't do this." A normal, good, practicing Muslim — a person has alḥamdulillāh a wife following the Deen — but all of a sudden one month in, mom says "I don't like how she looks, I don't like this, divorce her." There is no right. You cannot oppress your wife because someone says "I don't like her." You can put them in a separate house, you can take care of them, if your parents don't want to see her — no problem, put them somewhere else. But if it is just a disgustingly shallow reason — it's not that you're marrying a kāfir or something — it's a good practicing Muslim. But somehow or the other someone says "I don't like her anymore." Subhanallah, we've seen cases like that. This is a ẓulm — if the husband just because of that divorces his wife, he will have to pay for that in the Ākhirah.

The Famous Incident of 'Umar ibn al-Khaṭṭāb

This is the beauty of our Deen — everyone has their rights and you cannot oppress anyone. The famous incident of 'Umar of the allahu anhu: during his time, when he was informed of a boy who was being disobedient to his father, 'Umar was shocked. He asked the son to be brought into his court and was about to flog him for this horrific crime. So he asked the son to speak. The son said: "O Amīr al-Mu'minīn, I understand you are wanting to punish me because I have disobeyed my father. But I want to ask you — do children have any rights over the parents, or is it just that the parents have rights over the kids?" He said: "No, there are rights on both sides." So the son said: "What are the rights I have on my parents?" And he replied that the father should, number one, have married a right mother for the children; number two, he should have given the child a beautiful name with a good meaning; and number three, he should have taught the child Islamic etiquette.

So the son told him: "O Amīr al-Mu'minīn, my father did none of these. He married an uncultured slave girl he was attracted to; she had nothing to offer. He gave me a name with no good meaning. And he neglected my tarbiyah — I was never taught the Deen from childhood." So 'Umar backed off. It was as though he was telling the father: before your son oppressed you, long before that, you had already oppressed him. This is a taste of your own medicine.

SubhanAllāh, if 'Umar were to be here today and were to listen in his court — every father complaining of a disobedient son, every mother complaining of a disobedient daughter — I wonder who he would flog. I wonder who he would feel was the responsible person for this. It's easy to blame the child: "No one's respecting me, no one's listening to me." But how often are we neglecting our own responsibilities?

Three Responsibilities: Choosing a Spouse, the Name, and Tarbiyah

Three things: First, marrying the right person. For all those young men and women who are not yet married — the tarbiyah of your children, the fikr of the future starts when you are trying to find someone. Someone said recently: "Why do you want to marry this person?" He said: "Well, they've got great grades." You are you a student of knowledge — you should know better. What exactly are you looking for? There's got to be something beyond grades. It's not the criteria by which you choose someone — that's a portion of it, fine. But there's got to be something way beyond that.

The number one thing is: how is this man going to be as a father to my kids? How is this lady going to be as a mother to my children? It's 10:30 right now — who's gonna be looking after your kids? It's your wife. For that, she doesn't need to have a perfect ACT score or a perfect SAT score. But she definitely needs to have some other perfect things: taking care of the home, child psychology, patience, being able to connect with her children, having a love for raising kids in an Islamic manner, having Sunnah in her life — and the list goes on. So the worry about the future generation starts from the time you choose your spouse.

Then after that, from the first day — as soon as a child is born, when they come with a birth certificate, they want you to give the name right then and there. What name are you going to give? What meaning? Nowadays it's very popular to try to find the most unique name. This is not the way you choose a name. You choose a name based on the lives of those who you want your children to follow. Do you want your child or daughter to be like Zaynab? Do you want her to be like Umaimah? Do you want him to be like 'Abdullāh ibn Rawāḥah? Like Abū Bakr al-Ṣiddīq? Like Khālid ibn al-Walīd?

The junior ṣaḥābah would name their kids after the senior ṣaḥābah, hoping that even though they themselves were ṣaḥābah, they wanted their kids to be like the senior ṣaḥābah. So they would name their children after them. Or you have 'Abdullāh and 'Abd al-Raḥmān and names like this, which the Prophet ﷺ has said are amongst the most favorite names. So now choosing the name is such a big, important task. Think about a great personality that you want your child to grow up into, and then tell that boy or girl: "I named you after XYZ — this Prophet, this ṣaḥābī, this tābi'ī, this walī of Allah. These are his stories. I want you to read about them. I'm going to read bedtime stories about this ṣaḥābī or ṣaḥābiyyah. You should know everything in and out about them, and hopefully you'll become like them one day."

A story comes to mind: a great muḥaddith of Baghdad asked his son one day: "My dear son, what would you like to do when you grow up? Who would you like to be like?" The son said to his father: "Oh my father, I would like to become like you." The father started crying. So the son asked: "Why are you crying, Baba? I said I want to become like you." He said: "My father asked me this question years ago. I didn't tell my father I want to become like you. I said: 'Oh father, I want to become like 'Alī ibn Abī Ṭālib.' And then I became who I became. I aimed for 'Alī and I became this. If you aim to be like me, what are you going to become?" Meaning, they taught us to be ambitious.

So every one of our children should know: "This is who I was named after." And number three is that tarbiyah has to be given from a very young age — of how to speak, how to sit, how to walk, how to talk, what to say, what not to say. These are things that need to be happening. This is where then du'ā comes in afterwards:

"Oh Allah, take care of my children and my spouse." Aṣliḥ lī dhurriyyatī — the āyah that is coming here as well. All these du'ās are beneficial when you've played your cards right, when you've done what you have to do, and then you make du'ā. But what we see in the world today is fake, empty, hollow du'ā. Everyone's just making random du'ās. "Brother, make du'ā for me." But what action are you doing to ensure that Allah sees in you that you care about this du'ā being accepted?

The Age of 40: A Wake-Up Call

Ḥattā idhā balagha ashuddahu — until at last when the son or daughter reaches full maturity. So ṣāliḥīna — when you reach the age of 30, you are now beginning to reach almost the capacity and height of all your intellectual and physical strengths. And when you reach 40 — now it's the top. After 40, it's now downhill.

Imām al-Qurṭubī mentions that Wa jā'akum al-nadhīr — "and my reminder came to you" — nadhīr means forewarner. He said the reminder is when you reach 40. And they say: man balagha arba'īna sanatan fa-qad dakhala fī sūq al-ākhirah — whoever reaches the age of 40 has entered the marketplace of the Hereafter. And the one who has entered the age of 40 and yet still does not repent has no excuse, because you are no longer a young kid who wants to try out different things. That's why the young person who stays away from sin — what do they get?

(Sahih al-Bukhārī, Hadith 660; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, Hadith 1031 — from the hadīth of the seven whom Allah will shade on the Day of Judgment)

That young person who grows up worshipping Allah has a spot guaranteed under the throne of Allah, because Allah knows how hard it is at that age to stay away from sin. And if you stayed away at the age of 13, 14, 15, all the way till 20 and 21 — you've got a spot for yourself under the throne. This is not easy.

But when a person reaches the age of 40, what's your excuse? You've seen everything now. This is the time to be focused. Think about how in flights they say: "We've got 30 minutes to descend" — they start preparing for landing. After 40 is when the decline begins. Physically, a person starts becoming slowly weaker, pains start increasing, stamina is decreasing. Allah is giving you the lights that you've reached 40 — it's not gonna get any better anymore.

Because a lot of times, my dear brothers, we have this mindset: "Inshāllāh tomorrow, inshāllāh next year, inshāllāh after graduation." We have goal posts that are just a bit further, a bit further. We always tell ourselves: wait till I finish high school, wait till I finish college, wait till I get a job, wait till I get married, wait till I have my first son, wait till I get my promotion. But once we reach the age of 40, we are being reminded: the time is up. It's 40 minutes left to land — if you keep on using these excuses, it's not going to work.

Between 40 and 63 — our Prophet ﷺ gave his message for 23 years. That was the height of his message. That's where everything happened. So all of us who have reached the age of 40 or are almost reaching 40 — understand that we've got little time left. We really have to go into full force and stop thinking: "Let me just try another 10 investments and then everything will be fine."

The Danger of Dunya Without Vision

The amount of wealth that is being created now — that I'm seeing every week as I travel around America and here as well — the number of young people becoming so wealthy is unprecedented. But it's very dangerous as well, because if you don't grow spiritually at the same time, and if you don't have a purpose and vision and mission in life, then the greater the wealth, the greater the hell — the deeper the hell. Because that wealth that comes unaccompanied with proper vision, proper knowledge, and proper tarbiyah can be used for an innumerable amount of sins. When you have less money, you can only sin in a limited manner. When you have more wealth and you don't have a vision and a mission — and the person is only 25 and already a millionaire, only 30 and already a millionaire — imagine what will happen at 40 if he's not willing to understand that my time is running up. This is the danger that we're seeing that is going to start striking our community.

The Prophet ﷺ — he lived as a miskīn, he wanted to be raised as a miskīn. He never had two full meals in a day. Months would go by and nothing was cooked in his home. Most of many days he'd enter home and ask if there was food — when told there was none, he would say: "Okay, I'll just fast." He was living in poverty. But then he said:

(Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, Hadith 3158; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, Hadith 2961)

I'm not worried about poverty. What I'm worried about is that the dunya will just open up upon you the way it opened up on the previous generations — the Romans and Persians, who had unbelievable amounts of treasures that they had gathered and looted from all over the world. He said: I'm worried that you will begin to compete with one another the way they began to compete with one another, and it will destroy you the way it destroyed them.

So the idea is: as we are all growing older, we really have to remind ourselves that 40 is that age. Our Dean teaches us that once you hit 40, start preparing for your landing into the grave. That's what the Quran is saying — ashuddahu — you have now reached the height.

The Purpose of Life: Īmān and Shukr

What does this believer say? Rabbi awzi'nī an ashkura ni'mataka — "O Allah, give me the ability to thank you for your blessings which you have given me and given my parents." So the idea is: if a person believes in Allah and is able to make shukr — alḥamdulillāh — he has completed the purpose in his life. The purpose in our life is to be believers and to be grateful. That is the purpose.

What will Allah do to you by punishing you if you have īmān and shukr? Allah does not want to punish someone who has īmān and shukr. So by fulfilling these two things, we have fulfilled our life purpose.

Notice here: you're making shukr for the blessings you have, including the blessing of īmān. Then you say: "O Allah, I thank you for giving me my parents and giving them īmān." Wa an a'mala ṣāliḥan tarḍāhu — "and then you're asking Allah for the tawfīq to do good deeds." And what an amazing point the scholars make here: ṣāliḥan — good deeds. But — tarḍāhu — "which you are pleased with." This tells us that something can seem good but not be pleasing to Allah.

For example, someone says: "I'm going to have a gala, a fundraiser for the people of Palestine." Okay — but in the gala there's also music playing, people are inappropriately dressed, any male and female can come and sit wherever they want with absolutely un-Islamic dressing — but since it's for Palestine or for Syria or for Africa, it's okay. In the eyes of the people this may seem fine. You got $250,000. But at what cost? Is this pleasing to Allah? We're not just result-driven. The methodology has to be correct. Even if society says it's good, and even though someone is being assisted and helped — if it's not in a manner that is pleasing to Allah, it is not going to be accepted.

For example, all the good that non-believers do — many non-believers do lots of good things. There's no doubt about it. But if they don't have īmān, Allah will reward them for what they did in this world, but nothing for them in the Ākhirah, because the basic thing was īmān. That's the first thing you need. It's like this: a person may have a house, may have a job, may have kids in college — but if his paperwork is not done, all of that is secondary. Īmān is like that paperwork — without it, nothing else is accepted.

Wa an a'mala ṣāliḥan tarḍāhu — we ask Allah: please do not just allow me to do good deeds, but allow me to do good that is pleasing to You. What's important for our actions is that they have to be according to the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ. That is why there are lots of great initiatives that masājid and organizations want to do — great. But always compare it back to the golden standard — in fact, the only standard — the standard of Allah and His Rasūl ﷺ. How does it line up with that? If it doesn't line up with that, then we are not results-driven. It's not about getting people into the Deen or into the masjid at all costs. We have to bring them to the masjid in a manner that would be acceptable to Allah and His Rasūl ﷺ.

Aṣliḥ Lī Dhurriyyatī — Making Du'ā for Children

After thanking Allah and asking Allah for tawfīq to do things He likes — then we make the du'ā: aṣliḥ lī fī dhurriyyatī — "Please Allah, make my children righteous." This is where I was saying: du'ā comes in afterwards. Du'ā is not the first thing — only — that we do. Some people don't do du'ā at all; that's wrong. And some people just do du'ā, or rather they just ask people to pray for them. If someone asks you: "Oh, please make du'ā for me" — why don't you turn around and ask them: "For what?" I've done that many times, and people look at me like that's just a taqiyyah kalām, something we say to everyone. Exactly — why don't you think before you just ask? What exactly do you want me to make du'ā for? If you also don't know what you want, that's a big problem.

We have to truly value du'ā. Du'ā is not a cheap thing — it's something very beautiful. When you ask someone, make it specific: "Please make du'ā for this" — or at least 'āfiyah — well-being — in dunyā and ākhirah. "Make du'ā for the righteousness of my children. Make du'ā that I become a good parent, a good child" — whatever it may be. But we cannot just do du'ā. Rather, we have to first do amal that will make us worthy of those du'ās being accepted.

What was the du'ā I hope you all remember? "O Allah, assist us against our own selves." Allāhumma unṣurnā 'alā anfusinā. So that we become worthy of Your assistance against our enemy. Similarly, the du'ā for children — you could say: Allāhumma ruddanā ilā'l-islāmi rudūdan jamīlā — "O Allah, return us back to Islam in a nice manner." Why rudūdan jamīlā? Because you don't want such a punishment to come upon you that your house is destroyed, half of the family dead, you're on the street. That's not rudūdan jamīlā — that's being dragged by your neck while half of your family is gone. You want rudūdan jamīlā — just a nice quiet tap, maybe a gentle reminder. So the wording of our du'ās is so very important.

Wa innī tubtu ilayka — "O Allah, I have repented to You. Wa innī mina'l-muslimīn — and I am of those who are Muslims and in willing submission to You." If a person does not repent, more than likely he will not get the tawfīq for du'ā. One is that fake lip-service du'ā; one is a real du'ā. A person who does not repent will not get the tawfīq of du'ā. If I want to know why I'm not able to make du'ā, maybe it's because I'm not repenting. That's why we should say: "O Allah, I repent to You from every such sin which has deprived me from making du'ā. I repent to You from every such sin which has deprived me from enjoying speaking with You." Because you cannot have an audience with Allah unless He allows it. Du'ā is an appointment with Allah — you are one-on-one speaking with Him, sharing with Him your wish list. And Allah is not going to allow that unless He wants to, and Allah will want that if we repent. If we don't repent from the sins, why will the door of du'ā even open?

So we see how this du'ā is sandwiched: sa'ī — work — at the top, effort and tawbah at the end. You work hard, you do actions that are pleasing to Allah that have ikhlas in them, then you make du'ā, and then you make tawbah at the end. When a person does this type of tawbah, inshāllāh his du'ā will be accepted.

Acceptance, Not Just Quantity

Ulā'ika'lladhīna nataqqabalu 'anhum aḥsana mā 'amilū — Allah said: it is from these people that We will accept the good that they do. Qabūliyyah — the essence is not how much is done but how much is accepted. It's not how much is done — it's how much is accepted. That's the crux of all affairs.

I remember Ḥaẓrat Mawlānā Ibrāhīm and his son Ḥasan Mawlānā Ẓubair. When they would hear the Jamā'at reports — brothers would come from America, and they'd share the khushkhbarī — the work, the report — how many Jamā'ats have come out, how many brothers have changed their lives, how many madrasas have been established, how much Ṣalāh has increased in the masājid — and this would take place over a period of two to three or four days, with different regions of the world coming and sharing their annual or biannual reports. When Mawlānā Ibrāhīm would come on the final day, similarly Mawlānā Ẓubair at times would come on the final day — just five minutes. He wouldn't speak much, just five minutes. But in those five minutes he would cry and make everyone cry. And one common theme he would always raise: "Mashāllāh, it was nice to hear the annual report from all of you. May Allah accept. May Allah overlook our mistakes. But the real report is going to be given on the Day of Judgment, and then we'll find out where we stand. Right now you're giving the report amongst ourselves here — alḥamdulillāh. But the real report that you and I need to worry about is: how will we fare in front of Allah on the Day of Judgment?" And he would cry and make everyone cry — because that's the reality. The reality is: this is just child's play. The real thing is what's going to happen on the Day of Judgment.

Imagine if a person is constantly thinking about this: "How is my report? My ṣalāh is over — I prayed five times, I'm doing that today. Okay, good, check. But in the eyes of Allah — what percentage of these five was accepted? Out of five out of five, Allah knows the quality of my ṣalāh. Allah knows if I remember what the imam read or not, if I even know what I read or not. Allah knows what I was thinking in each rak'ah. Allah knows how many tasbīḥ I made in rukū' and in sujūd. Was it up and down — kiss the ground — or did I properly pray each one? Did I follow the mustahabbāt of wuḍū? Did I follow all the etiquettes and the sunan of wuḍū? Did I not waste water? Did I have concentration while doing wuḍū? From there till the end — Allah knows the quality of my wuḍū, Allah knows the quality of my ṣalāh. I can tell my parents, my spouse, my kids: 'I prayed.' But did I actually pray? Only Allah will tell me that on the Day of Judgment."

That is what qabūliyyah should be reminding us — that Allah is the one who is in charge of acceptance, and a person needs to be worried about that aspect. Wa natajaāwazu 'an sayyi'ātihim — and He will overlook the misdeeds — because no matter how good you become, you can never ever say you have no misdeeds. There will always be mistakes, there will always be sin. And we hope that Allah will overlook those sins and we will be from amongst the aṣḥāb al-jannah. Wa'da'ṣ-ṣidqi'lladhī kānū yū'adūn — this is the promise Allah was fulfilling — the promise that they were given.

The Greatest Sadaqah Jāriyah: Righteous Children

This is a relationship between parents and children who are both believers — both in īmān. This āyah is not about one specific individual; it is just an example of parents and children who are in īmān.

My beloved brothers and sisters, the greatest gift Allah can give anyone after īmān is to have righteous children — people of īmān. That is the greatest ṣadaqah jāriyah. There is no greater wealth. Even the greatest billionaires — every week, every day, you hear about billionaires dying. But the width of the grave is always still four to five feet. The depth is still six feet. No one is putting heaters, no one is putting air conditioning, no one is building a golden grave. So all the fame, name, and wealth will come to an end at the grave. The only thing that will continue is ṣadaqah jāriyah:

(Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, Hadith 1631)

Knowledge that you taught people that they are benefiting from, or ṣadaqah jāriyah — general like digging a well, building a guest house, opening up a food pantry that runs — and the third: waladun ṣāliḥun yad'ūlah — a righteous child who prays. So every dad and mom listening to me right now who cares about themselves and their kids — the number one thing you should focus on is that your child should be not just financially strong, but more importantly, religiously strong — to a degree that they worship Allah while you're alive and they worship Allah after you're gone. Because every single 'ibādah of your child will directly go back to you when your bones have disintegrated in the grave. That is the ultimate deal that you and I can get.

Some boys come and tell me: "I have to go, I want to go back home and make khidmah of my parents — that's why I want to leave the 'ālim course." I ask them: "Do you have other siblings?" "Yes." "What are they doing?" "They're all in college." This is a product of us diminishing the role of 'ilm — that someone who's in college has to make khidmah of his parents, but someone who's in madrasa studying 'ilm is wasting his time, so he needs to cancel his 'ilm to go do khidmah. But when I tell them: subḥanAllāh, you're actually making more khidmah while you're here than your siblings are while they're present. Because every single page that you flip of every book here, every single hour that you spend studying qāla'llāh and qāla rasūlullāh — this is nothing but an amazing ṣadaqah jāriyah for your parents. And after you graduate and walk out, every single khuṭbah that you give, every ḥalaqah that you lead, every single person who was about to sin that you safeguard, every individual who was leaving īmān that you bring back — where do you think that's going? Your parents don't realize that right now, that's why they may not appreciate what you're doing. But Allah is my witness — on the Day of Judgment they would wish they had a thousand sons or a thousand daughters like you, because of the reward that they will get from the efforts of students of knowledge who graduated and served their communities and served anywhere in the world.

Studying 'ilm and teaching 'ilm — one of the greatest things a person can do. We're not saying everyone needs to put their children into madrasa. But at least something like a one-year program, a summer intensive, an online ta'līm program — teach our children enough 'ilm so that they stay away from ḥarām. Teach them enough 'ilm so that they can teach their own spouse and their kids Deen. If we don't give them what it takes to become a successful wife or a successful husband, a successful mom and successful dad, there's no one to blame besides the parents. So we have to make a cultural shift within our communities — the importance of 'ilm and the importance of raising children from a very young age on 'ilm and connection with 'ilm.

The Opposite: The Disobedient Child

The next two āyāt — which I did translate — we'll connect with next week. This is the opposite of what we covered in these two āyāt — this is an example of a son or daughter who unfortunately becomes disobedient to his parents, number one, and is also disobedient to Allah, number two, while the parents are crying and begging for his guidance. May Allah protect us from falling in this category.

The first category is what we are looking for — that the parents are Muslim and the children are not only Muslim, but also very dutiful to the parents as well. We ask Allah to make every one of us dutiful to Him, to His Nabī ﷺ, and to our parents as well.

Book Recommendations

I just brought this up here at the front in case you didn't see this. A beautiful book by Imām al-Bukhārī called Birr al-Wālidayn — I've mentioned this before. It's an amazing book. It's the first book written on the rights and kindness towards parents, compiled by Imām al-Bukhārī himself, and recently translated. I would encourage you to take a look at it.

With Ramadan around the corner in the next few weeks, there is also something called Listening to the Quran: Insights, Commands and Guidance for Our Life. I was mentioning over the weekend — we had a program at Elgin Madrasa for Ḥuffāẓ — and I was mentioning to the Ḥuffāẓ that this is something we can read from. For every juz, you have a selection of a few powerful, impactful āyāt related to general practice for all of us. So I think for this Ramadan, if you don't already have this book, make it part of your circle of ta'līm in your home — even little kids can understand it. It's called Listening to the Quran: Insights, Commands and Guidance for a Life by Ustādh Khālid Baig.

Upcoming Events

This weekend is the No-Tech Retreat — the detox no-tech retreat. Please join us, inshāllāh — Saturday night to Sunday night. We have a sisters' program — a full sisters' edition — and we have a school kids and youth program. Kindly come with your kids ages 5 to 14 for the no-tech retreat, Saturday evening to Sunday evening. The sisters will be able to attend the men's program and also have the option to listen to the girls' program live. The girls' program begins Sunday at 10 a.m., and the children's program is available as well. Only 18+ brothers for the i'tikāf; the rest we ask to join the day programs.

The schedule: Maghrib — open recitation. After that, first presentation: Living for a Noble End — what type of life to live in order to have a good ending. After 'Ishā': Humanity at Death's Door. After dinner: The Art of Quranic Reflection — tadabbur — reflecting on a section of the Quran. We'll wake up for suḥūr on Sunday. We'll have du'ā and recitation early in the morning, reading from one of the du'ā books. We'll have tahajjud, then a collective khatm al-Quran before Fajr. After Fajr: The Passing of the Prophet ﷺ — Lessons for Humanity, followed by dhikr and ishrāq. Then individual 'ibādah or rest. After that, at Ẓuhr, a detailed janāzah workshop — from the time a doctor tells you you've got one or two days left, all the way to washing the body, the burial, how the janāzah is performed. We'll have a separate parallel janāzah workshop on the women's side. Then after 'Aṣr: Mufti Suhail Bengali — after many years, alḥamdulillāh, he's returning back to speak here, discussing some excerpts from Kitāb al-Ḥikam. Concluding remarks followed by du'ā, ifṭār, and dinner.

You might be thinking this is so last-minute. But even though it's last-minute, there were physicians who are on call who heard about it and said: "You know what, we're changing our call — we're gonna bring the wife and kids." Multiple brothers have told me this. So don't think it's too late. I ask all of you to share this message — share the flyers on the WhatsApp group. Invite people. Please take ten minutes out for the next three days and send a mass text to all your family and friends and say: please come and register at masjid.org/unplugged.

The Salām Collective programs: Monday nights for adults, Wednesday nights for college students and young professionals, and Friday nights for high school students. Alḥamdulillāh. Please see our sisters' program this weekend — of course, the no-tech retreat includes a sisters' component. Various weekend classes are being taught on site. Please also join us every Saturday morning for a talk on one of the 99 names of Allah followed by breakfast. If you'd like to be a sponsor, you may sign up by scanning the QR code. Thursday nights we have an Urdū tafsīr program. Sisters' tafsīr also happens on Thursdays. And if you do not receive messages on the WhatsApp group, please join the updates group. We also have an online Ta'līm program — you can attend live classes as well as listen to recordings if you're not able to make it in person.

Q&A

Question: Considering marrying a practicing man whose mother pressured him to divorce his ex-wife

Since you already know this, you need to bring this up before marriage — very clearly. There are people like that who are extremely possessive. I cannot speak specifically about this issue, but I would say: if you already know that this has happened and you're marrying someone — may Allah make it easy — but these are things that need to be very clearly spoken about beforehand.

Question: Is it okay to make la'nah upon someone who broke a marriage?

May Allah make it easy for you to get over your suffering. Making la'nah will not help you get over your suffering — it just feels good but doesn't do anything good to yourself. Instead, you should say: "Allah, the pain I'm going through, the suffering I'm going through — make this a means for good." Present your pain as an action in front of Allah: "I don't have much to offer — not much fasting, not much ṣadaqah — but I have pain. I am a repressed person. I present that to Allah." Ask for something good not only in the Ākhirah but in this world as well.

Question: How to balance between paranoia and arrogance?

No one said you should be paranoid either. These are two extremes. The way to measure yourself is Sunnah — just bring Sunnah in your life. Don't think more than that. Just bring Sunnah in your life. Look at, for example, Shamā'il al-Tirmidhī — or the books on the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ — and see: "How can I bring one simple, small Sunnah every day into my life?" And as long as my life is according to Sunnah, Sunnah also means you have a clean heart — which means you also don't misuse your eyes or your tongue. That's all part of the Sunnah.

Question: Can one make du'ā in ṣalāh in Arabic? How to know if someone has qabūliyyah?

Yes, a person can follow the normal Muslim du'ās in Arabic in ṣalāh. As for knowing if you have qabūliyyah — you don't know if you have qabūliyyah. We're only going to find out in the Ākhirah.

Question: My life has improved after a year of struggle, but my connection to Allah and Ibādah feels weaker now

True — when things become easy, most of us unfortunately slack off. Now that you're realizing it, try to focus in your 'ibādah with the aspect of shukr. Just make tons of shukr. Just make murāqabah — sit down and ponder about the blessings of Allah. You've been joined after one year of struggle — just thinking about Allah's blessings, inshāllāh, will build your relationship with Him. That's what we talked about today — the aspect of shukr.

Question: My mom constantly compares me to my abusive father even over small things

May Allah make it easy for you. Your mom is probably also suffering from trauma — and so she's not handling it well. She's human; you're human as well. This is where some sort of therapy or counselling would be needed. But the older generation doesn't like the word "therapy." So you have to just say: "Let's talk it out." Maybe getting a chance to speak to someone — a trusted sister coming over for tea and having a joint conversation where she can vent — or just helping her learn how to cope with that trauma. That inshāllāh will be helpful.

Question: What are the important adhkār I can do?

The must-do adhkār after every ṣalāh:

SubḥānAllāh 33 times, alḥamdulillāh 33 times, Allāhu Akbar 34 times. And the morning and evening du'ās — you can find these online, in resources and books. As for how much additional dhikr to do — look at how much time you want to give, and based on that, start small and be consistent.

Question: Can we ask Allah for what is best for us instead of very specific things?

Yes, you can ask Allah for what's best for you. But you also have the du'ās in the Quran and du'ās of the Sunnah. I'd refer you to Ḥizb al-A'ẓam, Ḥiṣn al-Ḥaṣīn, and Munājāt Maqbūl — these books are available and have the du'ās of Rasūlullāh ﷺ and du'ās of the Quran. You don't have to think of them on your own. When you read through them, you'll realize how powerful those du'ās are. Masha'Allāh, there's a new copy of Ḥizb al-A'ẓam — a beautiful publication with a translation — recently released by White Thread Press. I came across it last week; I did a recital of it in Seattle — an amazing, amazing copy. The translation is the best we've ever seen, and the presentation also is the best. Get it before Ramadan — when you read through those 200 du'ās, alḥamdulillāh, you'll get the majority of what you need.

Question: Ṭā'ah — is it only for Allah?

That's a good catch — I also thought about that as I was saying it. The word I should have used is ṭā'ah, not iṭā'ah in that context. Ṭā'ah is 'ibādah. Iṭā'ah — yes, it's true what you said — obey Allah and the Prophet ﷺ, and those who are in authority — your 'ulamā and your leaders.

Question: Any du'ā to get married soon?

Some have recommended reading after every ṣalāh:

"O Allah, I am most in need of any goodness that You send to me." We covered this in the tafsīr of Sūrah al-Qaṣaṣ — Mūsā ﷺ got married after that, and Mūsā ﷺ got a job after that. So this du'ā is beneficial for both marriage and employment.

Question: Struggling to conceive

Allah says in Sūrah Nūḥ:

Do lots of istighfār — Allah will give you wealth and children. So an abundance of istighfār, inshāllāh, is a beautiful way to also remove this difficulty.

Question: Sha'ban — Laylat al-Nisf and Laylat al-Mi'rāj?

The 15th night of Sha'bān — we actually have a whole program on it next Thursday night: Laylat al-Niṣf min Sha'bān. Mawlānā Farḥān Sharīf, inshāllāh, will be speaking on it — please attend. Yes, there are some bid'at that people do on these nights. But there is definitely some essence to making 'ibādah on this night. As for specifics — read this and you'll get that reward — that's not established. But what is the reality of this night? What should we do? That will be covered next Thursday night. Please do join us.

Question: Is it ḥarām to say "RIP" to a kāfir?

There is no rest in peace for a person who died without īmān, so that term should generally not be used. If a person says it not knowing, or perhaps hoping the person died with īmān, one could figure out a way to move past it. But generally speaking, these types of terms should be avoided.