Team Fajr: Aisha رضي الله عنها w/Mufti Azeemuddin Ahmed | The Lives of the Companions Ep.28 | 05/16

Team Fajr: The Life of Aisha رضي الله عنها

By Mufti Azeemuddin Ahmed | The Lives of the Companions, Episode 28

We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that He accept our coming here for Salatul Fajr. We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that He allow all the rewards that are promised for Salatul Fajr with Jama'at to be granted to all of us. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make us and our progeny amongst those who have the tawfiq and the consistency of being able to perform Salatul Fajr with Jama'at. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make us amongst those who have witnessed the angels and benefited from their presence at the Fajr Salat.

May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala allow us to cover in this session those topics and those aspects of the life of Aisha رضي الله عنها which will inshallah become a source of major inspiration for all of us and our family members. We have obviously little time and of course cannot by any means even begin to scrape the surface of the life of such a great individual. But we ask Allah to put barakah in our time and to allow us to focus on a few points that will inshallah allow us to take back home and become a means of our getting closer to Allah azza wa jal and having a more clear, focused vision and purpose for our life. Allahumma ameen.

The Status of Women in Islam

When we speak about Aisha رضي الله عنها and the amazing and multifaceted aspects of her life, we can see that at a time when the status and the role of women was definitely being trampled — and they were being used in so many improper and inappropriate manners — Islam, subhanAllah, presented a whole different, completely opposite status for women. Completely opposite to the culture of that time. A role for women that was very, very new.

Just from amongst the many things we were covering in the hadith book — going through the hadith of how women would be treated after a man would die — his wife would be treated as property, passed down to somebody. So that's where we start from. She was the property. And Islam came and provided a completely opposite status — not because that's what was in vogue, not because that's what was acceptable or expected — but rather completely different from everything.

And today where we stand, similarly, the role and status of men and women is also very, very different from what our deen teaches. What we need to understand is that our deen is not a reactionary deen that provides rules, roles, and everything else in between as a response to what's happening. Sometimes it will be like this, so we have to change it. Sometimes it will be like that, so we have to change it. Instead, we have to appreciate the consistency of Islam throughout all ages.

People around us will change. Society will change. Culture will change. But what is according to Allah — the true deen and the true proper method of living — that cannot change. This is the difference between a man-made deen and a deen that comes through wahi and revelation. A man-made deen will continue to adjust based on circumstances and viewpoints from outside, to remain relevant. The deen of Islam didn't come here for relevancy's sake. The deen of Islam came to set the record straight — to tell people that whatever you do, this is how you're supposed to lead your life. This is the status of women, this is the status of men, whether you like it or not.

So this should be something we feel very comfortable saying — that our deen of Islam is that deen that is out there to uplift society and tell people that this is haq, this is batil, this is true, this is incorrect, this is virtue, this is vice. And it becomes the criterion, the furqan, to separate what is acceptable and what is not.

So the seerah of Aisha رضي الله عنها is an amazing testimony — not just to the past, but to what the present should also be of women in society. What type of role they're supposed to play inside the house, outside the house, in society, in their families, and beyond.

Her Birth and Early Life

Aisha رضي الله عنها was born in the 4th or 5th year after the Prophet's ﷺ Prophethood. She was born, you could say, in Islam. She did not open her eyes amongst idols. Her young years were not polluted by the Jahiliyyah and the era of ignorance of Makkah al-Mukarramah.

Aisha رضي الله عنها says in one hadith:

She says: I did not find my parents except that both of them were following the deen. And there wasn't a day in my life except that the Prophet ﷺ would come to our home twice a day — morning and evening. This is how Allah azza wa jal raised her.

Her Father: Abu Bakr al-Siddiq

Abdullah ibn Abi Quhafa, known as Abu Bakr al-Siddiq رضي الله عنه, was the closest of all individuals to the Prophet ﷺ — his wazir, his companion in the cave, as Allah mentions in Surah al-Tawbah:

When Rasulullah ﷺ spoke to his companion: "Do not grieve" — referring, of course, to Abu Bakr al-Siddiq رضي الله عنه. No other sahabi has this honor of being called by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala as the companion of Rasulullah ﷺ in the Quran. And Aisha رضي الله عنها would be very proud and very happy about the status that her father had with the Prophet ﷺ.

She was someone who showed the world — as was very common amongst Arabs for men and women both — an amazing example of the memory she had of her lineage, and along with that, being able to explain with the most eloquent of language the fada'il and virtues of her family.

Her Mother: Umm Ruman

Her mother was Umm Ruman bint Amir رضي الله عنها, from the tribe of Kinanah. She migrated with the Prophet ﷺ and was amongst the amazing women in her zuhd and her intelligence. She stood at the side of Abu Bakr al-Siddiq رضي الله عنه and, with much resilience, calmly carried with him the burden of da'wa — the burden of being the first Muslim and the first da'i ilal-Islam.

The Prophet ﷺ is reported to have mentioned upon her burial:

Whoever would like to look at a lady from the Hur al-'Ayn of Paradise, then let him look at Umm Ruman.

Her Name, Kunya, and Titles

Her name, Aisha, comes from Aish. One of the meanings of Aish is "to live." As the saying goes:

So Aish means hope, Aish means life. The ulama say that indeed she was the life of the Prophet ﷺ. SubhanAllah.

Her kunya was Umm Abdillah. Although she did not have any children, it was within Arab culture that even if a lady did not have children, she would have a kunya — so as not to diminish the status of women who may not have been able to have children. It is mentioned in Abu Dawud that Aisha رضي الله عنها said:

"O Rasulullah, all of your wives have a kunya except for me."

"No problem — you can take on the kunya of your son Abdullah," meaning her nephew, Abdullah ibn al-Zubayr, the son of her sister Asma رضي الله عنها.

(Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith 4970)

Among the titles she was given was al-Siddiqah bint al-Siddiq — the Truthful One, daughter of the Truthful One — following from her father's beautiful quality of standing by the truth regardless of circumstances. It is also reported that the title al-Humayra was one the Prophet ﷺ would use at times of expressing his love for her. Al-Humayra refers to a whiteness mixed with redness. We learn from this the sunnah of using beautiful nicknames for our spouses — whether for spouse or children, using nicknames expressive of muhabba and love is part of our deen.

Her Marriage to the Prophet ﷺ

The Prophet ﷺ got married to her in Makkah al-Mukarramah before hijrah — three years before hijrah. She then moved in with the Prophet ﷺ in Madinah al-Munawwarah in Shawwal, after the Ghazwah of Badr. The ulama write that this marriage was not just a normal marriage of that time, but rather a very special one — Jibreel عليه السلام came to the Prophet ﷺ in a dream twice or thrice, carrying a piece of silk cloth, and told him:

"This is your wife." The Prophet ﷺ would remove the veil in his dream and see her picture in this silk cloth, and he would say:

"If this is from Allah azza wa jal, then Allah will make it happen." Of course it was from Allah azza wa jal, because the Prophet's dreams are revelation.

What is also interesting — and of course well known — is that she was the only wife from amongst the wives of the Prophet ﷺ who was not previously married. And from amongst her many virtues, she says: I am the only wife in which the Prophet ﷺ received revelation while I was next to him, lying next to him. They would be resting together and Rasulullah ﷺ would suddenly receive revelation. SubhanAllah — there was no other person and no other wife of the Prophet ﷺ who had this distinction.

We see so many amazing characteristics of Abu Bakr al-Siddiq رضي الله عنه found within her. And then her husband being the Prophet ﷺ, present with her all the time. It is a beautiful example of what the qualities of Prophethood and the qualities of Siddiqiyyah look like within a female. That is why the detailed study of the lives of the wives of the Prophet ﷺ, the daughters of the Prophet ﷺ, and especially Aisha رضي الله عنها, is so important — not just for women, but for men as well. So that husbands know what role they're supposed to play, and dads know what role they're supposed to play in the upbringing of their daughters.

Her Hayaa: Modesty and Inhibition

Let us now speak about different qualities — one hadith on one quality. A hadith regarding hayaa, her inhibition from anything she would deem inappropriate, and her modesty.

It is mentioned in Hayat al-Sahabah that Aisha رضي الله عنها said:

She says: After the demise of my husband and the demise of my father, I used to enter that room — the room she lived in — and I used to remove my upper outer garment, my jilbab, and relax at home. And I would say to myself: they are buried here, but it is my husband and my father. But when Umar رضي الله عنه was buried next to them, I swear by Allah I never entered my own room except that I had firmly tightened my clothes around my body — out of hayaa from Umar رضي الله عنه, who is not related to me and who is buried there.

The idea is that Umar رضي الله عنه is buried under the earth, covered by the soil — he is dead, he cannot see, and he cannot obviously be aware of the small things of this dunya. But the hayaa of Aisha رضي الله عنها is such that she does not want to treat herself as though she is in the comfort and secrecy of her home, because of a non-mahram buried there. SubhanAllah.

The idea of hayaa — not only from the living, but hayaa from those who have passed away as well. And we learn from here that true hayaa is the hayaa that stays with you in privacy. True hayaa is the hayaa that stays with you in seclusion. What will happen to a society that loses hayaa in public? What will their private moments look like when in public, and in front of cameras, we have lost hayaa?

The Incident of al-Ifk: Hayaa of the Tongue

The adab that she displayed during one of the most powerful incidents in her life — which requires hours to cover on its own — is the story of al-Ifk, when the munafiqun accused her of having a relationship with another sahabi, a'udhu billah. She had also fallen ill at that time and did not know what kind of lies were being concocted about her. However, she noticed that Rasulullah ﷺ was not the same.

Aisha رضي الله عنها says in that long hadith:

She says: I saw that the Prophet ﷺ would come, give salam to me, then say "How are you doing?" and then leave. But what I did not see was اللُّطْفَ الَّذِي كُنْتُ أَرَى — I did not see the kindness and the softer side of him that I would normally see when I fell ill. This teaches us that when someone is ill, our method of dealing with them needs to be adjusted and appropriate, because of the needs and demands of that situation.

Aisha رضي الله عنها recognized that he was not the same. But she did not speak of getting angry at her husband, did not say "Why are you doing this to me?" And as for the Prophet ﷺ, as Mawlana Tariq Jamil Sahib used to say: a wife of a Nabi may end up being a mushrik — like the story of Lut عليه السلام and Nuh عليه السلام. But a wife of a Nabi can never be fahisha. A wife of a Nabi can be a mushrika, but cannot be someone who is lewd. This is something that Allah will never allow — that the garment and honor of a Nabi be polluted with that. SubhanAllah.

So for the Prophet ﷺ, life could not simply go back to normal, because everyone around him was speaking about his beloved wife. And as Mufti Nuh Sahib once mentioned — a beautiful point — the Nabi is kamil, complete in everything. Untouchable, in everything, including in his emotions. Every emotion is at the highest degree, including the emotion of love. The way a Nabi loves his children, no one can love their kids that way. The way a Nabi loves his spouse and his wives, no one can love their wife like that. SubhanAllah. This is the completeness of the qualities of a Nabi.

So how much pain was the Nabi going through? Not only is it a personal pain as a human — "this is my wife" — but as a Nabi representing Allah, he simply could not ignore this. As a Nabi representing Allah, it is not befitting for a Nabi to have a wife involved in anything of that nature. So he was waiting for Allah to reveal something. He was caught between these two states — going to meet her, asking how she's doing, yet unable to do more than that.

And Aisha رضي الله عنها, too, continued to remain sad — but did not attack her husband about what was happening. So we learn the lesson of handling a difficult situation where we are not screaming, not accusing each other, but holding on — because there is also hayaa of the tongue.

There is hayaa and modesty in the language we use. Just as there is hayaa in our clothing, there has to be hayaa in our language. And just as a person who gets accustomed to not dressing properly will find things going downhill, similarly the words we use — if you start using certain improper things and open up the floodgates for that, it could be a downhill from there.

There has to be a standard that we keep at home. I cannot use certain phrases. I cannot use certain words. I cannot express my frustration and anger in certain manners. Because once you cross that red line, it will continue to become easier to say even more inappropriate things. And what we become accustomed to saying, we will get accustomed to doing.

I was explaining to my children — jokingly. One of my asatidah was teaching us Arabic, and because we were not native Arabic speakers, sometimes you translate English or Urdu into Arabic. So he asked one of my classmates, who was reading his homework assignment, and the ustad did not like a sentence. He said it was not appropriate, it had mistakes. So, in order to express this in a loving manner to his student, Shaykh Ramzi said:

"So and so, just like you are a handsome young man, I want you to write a nice, beautiful sentence." So the student, smiling, playing with his beard, holding his paper — he told the ustad:

Meaning in his own language, translated into Arabic, he was trying to say "Come on, don't flatter me, I'm not that handsome" — but the word he used was لَا تَكْذِبْ — "Don't lie." Allahu Akbar. I had never seen the shaykh that angry. Whatever he had in hand, he just threw it, yelled out, and walked out of the classroom. And subhanAllah, he didn't come back for days until we went to beg forgiveness individually, collectively, in written form — everything. He said: How dare you tell your ustad, لَا تَكْذِبْ. How dare you tell your teacher, "Don't lie."

Think about that. There is a standard I have, and you will have to have, between a teacher and student. And we can say the same between husband and wife. And between children and their parents. It is not only about what you do — it is about what you say. There are words you simply cannot use. You can use anything around it. You can use different phrases. You can express yourself in different ways. You might have to beat around the bush. But there are certain words you simply cannot use. Because when you use them, you are basically showing that you have absolutely no value for the individual — that they are not a person of respect.

And once respect is gone between husband and wife, between parents and children, between teacher and student — when that is gone, that relationship simply does not work anymore. It is like when you are putting a plug into the wall, and the metal is bent. It just will not fit in anymore. It used to fit, but not anymore. So these relationships, in order for them to work, there has to be respect.

May Allah grant us the strength to uphold a high standard in our homes — of adab, of hayaa, of hayaa not only in our actions but in our tongues as well.

Aisha رضي الله عنها as the Greatest Source of Knowledge

After the death of the Prophet ﷺ, Aisha became the primary source of information from his life. The sahaba would come and ask the most detailed descriptions about the household of the Prophet ﷺ. There is no lady — and you can say no man — who is as capable or more knowledgeable about Rasulullah ﷺ the way Aisha رضي الله عنها was. No male sahabi, and no male of later generations, knew more about the house of the Prophet ﷺ than she did.

When she would come to teach the sahaba, there would always be a hijab — a thick curtain — between Aisha رضي الله عنها and the companions who came to ask her questions. They would listen and ask without seeing even a shadow or a movement of her behind this thick curtain. This is something extremely important to reflect upon in today's discussion of women's education.

Hijab was never meant to be a means of creating obstacles in a person's learning or teaching of the deen. Because Aisha رضي الله عنها herself was the largest, most powerful madrasa — herself, one lady, as a one-lady madrasa. And yet she maintained her hayaa and her hijab to the highest degree. In the name of education, we must not cross the limits of hayaa. They are not two opposite things.

In just a few weeks' time, we will have the graduation of our seminary students — including ten-plus huffadh girls, about forty-five girls from the one-year program, and six females graduating from the six-year 'Alimiyyah program. If you were to read the papers these female students prepare and present — two years of research — and if you were to listen to their ibarah, the way they read Arabic, the way they answer questions in class, honestly sometimes I have a huge smile on my face, and also a huge sadness in my heart. It makes me so happy to see this outstanding growth and achievement of our sisters and our girls and our students. But it saddens me that the world — including many of you sitting here, and your wives — have no idea about it. And there continuously persists this idea that if you have hijab, there can be no education.

These female students — if they were sitting here, I would have absolutely no idea who is who. I would not recognize any one of them even if I met them in a store or saw them in a parking lot. I have no idea. I would have taught them for six years. But subhanAllah, what they have taken from their male teachers — alongside their female teachers, of course — is massive. This is the sunnah of Aisha رضي الله عنها that we are seeing here. Education can happen at the highest levels, and it does not require you to be staring into the eyes of your male teacher.

It is also worth noting that all the students who graduate in the ten Qira'at — in their chain of transmission, their sanad — there is a female, a blind female qari'ah, a muqri'ah. If you come inshallah for the graduation weekend, we will go through the entire sanad and you will be able to see it. There are ways of learning — there is no doubt about it. But I also want to emphasize: male Quran teachers should not be teaching females. There is alhamdulillah enough tajweed knowledge within our older women to teach our girls.

The Responsibility of Parents in Tarbiyah

It is the responsibility of dads and moms to ensure the highest level of preservation and protection of our daughters. There is absolutely no taking a shortcut here. Shortcuts lead to major problems. When the rules of hijab are not followed, when the rules of hayaa are not followed — even from a young age — it is extremely disturbing.

The education of men and women is extremely important. But in the process, we cannot sacrifice something even more fundamental — which is the preservation of our hayaa. I want to remind all of us: these are not two opposite things.

Even yesterday someone came to me and a young girl — a 6th grader — came forward to shake hands. She didn't know better. But why is she doing that? Because no one taught her that you do not shake hands with a male — we don't care what great scholar comes, you keep your hands to yourself. That needs to be taught by dads and moms. That you keep your distance from non-mahram males, even if he is a big scholar. These things have to be taught — not when a child is ten or six. They have to be taught from the very beginning.

I was in one masjid, and a father was there with a young girl, two or three years old. He had a lot of respect for me and said, "Shaykh, any guidance regarding the tarbiyah of my daughter?" I said: Yes. Put a scarf on her. Just like when a little boy comes to the masjid from a young age, we put a topi on his head and make him stand next to us in salah — make your daughter accustomed to wearing hijab, especially when she comes to the masjid. And in her general dressing as well. Do not put her in super short skirts that expose her arms, her armpits, and that end at the knee. Because the more you become accustomed to showing skin, the harder it will be to cover it afterwards.

SubhanAllah. We've lost our bearings as dads and moms. And then we say things like, "Well, hijab is her choice. I'm hoping she makes the right choice one day." How come you don't say that about school? You don't say, "I'm hoping she decides to learn math one day." There is no "choice" for her dunya — but in the matter of deen, the dad suddenly says, "I'm waiting for her to make the right choice." If she doesn't wear hijab and then passes away in that state, you will pay a price for it — because you raised her like that.

That's supposed to happen when she was seventeen months, not seventeen years. From a young age, you lead her and guide her in a manner where she naturally wants the deen — where she wants to follow hayaa, where she wants to have all of this. Because that is how Aisha رضي الله عنها grew up as well — seeing Rasulullah ﷺ coming twice a day to her house. The exposure we give at a young age is what will lead them to make the right decisions.

So please do not say hijab is a choice she has to make on her own. You already made that choice for her by not giving her hijab and hayaa when she was a little girl. Stop putting the blame on your daughter. It is not her fault. It's not easy. How many of us wear a kufi outside in our thawb, walking around? Subhanallah. Not to wear hijab outside, but even to wear a jilbab outside — it is not easy, especially in this environment. So how do you expect a young woman to just start all of a sudden, especially when she starts getting made fun of by her own friends, attacked by her own relatives? This is the zulm that parents have done. They did not create an environment for her to make the right decision from the start.

Islamic Education for Our Daughters

We learned that teaching and learning are an integral part of our deen for women as well — especially in matters of deen. Just as we have a strong desire that our daughter should have professional degrees and college degrees, my beloved dads and moms, you should have an equally strong desire that your daughter needs to be a very learned, Islamically learned young lady. Because she is the main headmistress of her house when she becomes a mother. She is the one who will teach her children — and at times, teach her husband — the akhlaq and character of our deen. And that cannot happen if she did not learn it.

Simply staying a Muslim — I am not talking about being a practicing Muslim. I am talking about staying a Muslim with a proper Islamic perspective. That is something you have to fight for. You have to make an effort for it. It will not come naturally. My father was a good Muslim does not mean I am a good Muslim. You and I, as dads and moms, have to make a tremendous effort in the tarbiyah of our children.

We have the summer intensive coming up. I am confused about why we do not understand the urgency. When we see the state of things outside — it is a battlefield, and every day from our homes we are losing our youth. Bigger and quicker and more painful than any physical death is the janazah of the youngsters' deen that is leaving our homes every day. There is no salatul janazah in the masjid for that. But the deen is leaving our homes.

So how is this going to stop if we do not give them the right environment? You have to bring them and make them participate in deeni activities — not just fun sports, but environments where deen is not necessarily only being taught on a whiteboard. Deen is being taught through osmosis. Deen is being taught through environment. That is extremely important for us to give to our children.

And they are so quick to learn. Mawlana Farhan Adil, after Fajr last Sunday, shared our experience from a father-and-son retreat — 24 hours at ICN Ogden. About 50 brothers and their kids on Friday night. To see these 10, 11, 12 year olds — they are beyond intelligent, they shock us. And that intelligence, if you do not use it for what is right, will be used for what is wrong. But if you give them the virtue of ishraq and tahajjud and awabeen and performing salah, going to sleep with wudu — you will see the dads are sleeping, and all the children are lining up to make sure they do wudu before they go to bed. Not just brushing their teeth. A 9-year-old is running to a 6-year-old: "We have to do wudu — we just heard the virtues of it." Children waking up at 1 AM alone in the prayer hall praying tahajjud.

What does that tell us? The children are beautiful, innocent souls that will follow the environment given to them. It is our fault that we are not giving them a ruhani, spiritual environment. Sending them to school — even an Islamic school — is not sufficient. It has to be coupled with a strong emphasis on ruhaniyyah, spirituality, dhikr, dua, fada'il and virtues. That inshallah ta'ala will leave a lasting impact.

Her Relationship with the Prophet ﷺ: Navigating Disagreement

There were about twenty different stories I had wanted to cover from the life of Aisha رضي الله عنها. I covered four. So let me cover two more and then we will end. Regarding the relationship between husband and wife, the Prophet ﷺ says to Aisha رضي الله عنها:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 5228; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2439)

"O Aisha, I know indeed when you are pleased with me, and I know when you are angry at me."

The fact that Rasulullah ﷺ is treating Aisha not just as an ummati, but as a wife — because as an ummati, how can you be angry at the Prophet? But the relationship between husband and wife is unique. He is actually using this term — "I know when you are upset at me." This is a relationship between husband and wife in which a wife is allowed to be upset at the husband.

And the fact that he is saying "I know when you are happy and when you are angry" — what does that teach us? That anger was present, but it was expressed in such a measured, contained manner that the Prophet ﷺ had to figure it out. He had to read the signs. Subhanallah. If you just allow yourself to let your tongue run and say every crazy thing, would anyone have to say "I figured out that you are upset"? No — because the whole street already knows.

So she asked:

"How do you figure that out, O Rasulullah?" He said:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 5228; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2439)

"When you are pleased with me, when you take an oath, you say: 'No, by the Lord of Muhammad.' And when you are angry, you say: 'No, by the Lord of Ibrahim.' You leave out my name. That is how I know you are upset."

So Aisha رضي الله عنها smiled and replied:

"You are right, I swear, O Rasulullah — I am only leaving out just your name, nothing more than that. Instead of saying 'the Lord of Muhammad,' I say 'the Lord of Ibrahim.' Your love is still in my heart — I am just not saying your name on my tongue." SubhanAllah.

So my point is: you learn how to have differences. Naturally, if issues arise between husband and wife, there will be moments of upset and anger. That is fine. But navigate it through the prophetic method. Each one tries to carry themselves in a higher, more beautiful manner — trying to address the situation without unnecessarily scarring anyone. What benefit do you gain by scarring your spouse's heart?

This is what we tell someone regarding the tarbiyah of children too. The purpose of tarbiyah is to rectify. The purpose is not to break someone's heart. Some people think it is a competition — how many pieces can you break your children's heart into. You are not trying to break anyone's bones, not trying to break anyone's heart. You are trying to make islah and rectification. But when you ridicule, berate, or talk down to someone, you are breaking their heart. That is not allowed. Similarly between husband and wife — what needs to be corrected should be addressed in a humble, respectful, loving manner. And that is how the work gets done without breaking any hearts. SubhanAllah.

Closing Reflections and Du'a

We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that He grants us all this level of faham of the deen — that the lifestyle of the seerah of Rasulullah ﷺ is one that we can truly live in our homes. As men and as husbands, if the mic were to be given to the people of our home, they should give an impression of us that is consistent with what society and the people of the masjid think of us. We should constantly be checking — not just the role we play in outside life, but the role we play inside.

I know it is not easy. It is very tough — it is an imtihan. No one here is pushing your buttons, and you are not staying with each other for ten hours. Naturally at home it is like a pressure cooker at times. There is so much happening. But when it is bound to happen, how do you release the steam? You have to release it without burning down the house. It has to be done in a very measured manner.

Ask Allah to grant you and I that himmah, that hikmah — that wisdom of how to navigate through tough times at home. That is when our true colors come about: when we are upset, when we are angry, when tensions are high.

May Allah save our marriages. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala strengthen our marriages. May Allah allow them not just to be chalta hi chala — barely making it — but allow them to be outstanding, amazing, and continuously improving relationships. And may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala allow us to raise beautiful children.

The best gift you can give your children — something that came to my heart to share — is to show them how much you love their mother or their father. Show your children the love between their parents. Not just expensive gifts, and then after that, mother and father are bickering and arguing. There is no Eid like that for kids. What children want to see is harmony between their parents — and beyond harmony, muhabba and love. This is something so simple, yet it has become such a rare gift nowadays.

And for children who want to give a gift to their parents — the best gift you can give them is to show love and unity among your siblings. Being united as siblings brings such peace and comfort to elderly parents. Possibly there is nothing greater that our parents and grandparents would love to see than their children having a relationship of love and appreciation amongst themselves.

May Allah allow us to give this gift to others, and allow us to receive this gift from others as well.

Dhikr

Let us conclude with some dhikr. We will do dhikr jahri — taking Allah's name audibly — and dhikr khafi — taking Allah's name softly in our hearts.

Now let us do dhikr qalbi — focusing on the heart, saying اللهُ، اللهُ، اللهُ. As Allah says: "Remember your Lord in your heart." Focus on the heart.

And now the muraqabah of Noor. While staying still, quiet, calm — we focus on Allah's Noor descending from His Throne onto the Ka'bah, and from the Ka'bah coming over here — from our heads to our hearts and to the rest of our bodies. Allah's Noor is coming. We are attracting Allah's Noor towards ourselves. Through the barakah of that Noor, we feel the love of Allah increasing in our hearts, the connection with Allah increasing in our hearts. And the layers and layers of darkness and rust that have accumulated over decades of sin — all of that is being removed, scraped off of our hearts, and being replaced with the love of Allah and the love of Rasulullah ﷺ, and the love of what they have asked us to love.

As we focus on this Noor, in our minds we read:

Focusing on the intensity of that Noor. اللهُ، اللهُ، اللهُ.