The Realm of Accusations - Mufti Azeemuddin Ahmed

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ وَكَفَىٰ وَالصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَىٰ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ. Allah said:

O you who have believed, avoid much of the assumption that some of the assumption is a sin and do not spy, and do not deceive one another. Does anyone of you like to eat the flesh of his brother dead, so you hate him and fear Allah? Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. صَدَقَ اللَّهُ الْعَظِيمُ.

Respected friends, elders and brothers, Mothers and sisters and students, Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

The Life of Umar al-Khattab

Umar al-Khattab radiyallahu anhu was an individual who was blessed with the very close companionship of the Prophet. And he benefited immensely from the words and the tarbiyah of Rasulullah. And it was commonly noticed and said that the Prophet, Abu Bakr and Umar, these three will always be put together in a sentence. The companions say, other companions say that during the time of the Prophet, we'd always hear:

We always hear that the Prophet came with Abu Bakr and Umar. The Prophet left with Abu Bakr and Umar. The Prophet did this with Abu Bakr and Umar. And during their life, they were with each other.

And we see that after their demise also, Allah granted them the spots right close to the Prophet. And we know that at the time of his demise, Umar Khattab r.a. did not anticipate that that's where he would be buried. Because that spot that was where the Prophet and the first Khalifa, Abu Bakr Siddiq r.a. were buried, both were in the house of Aisha r.a. And the spot next to that is also in Aisha r.a. had reserved it for herself to be next to her husband and to her father, the best two people that have ever lived. And this Ummah, Nabi being the most superior and Abu Bakr Siddiq r.a. being the most superior in this Ummah.

So when he asked for permission to have that spot in his death throes, she ended up giving preference to him over herself. But Umar r.a. was not satisfied and he asked his relatives, his son and others that after I pass away, before my burial, go again and ask permission. Maybe it is due to the fact that I am the leader of the Muslims, the Ameer al-Mu'mineen and the status that he had and the awe that he inspired that she may be reluctant to say no.

So after I'm passed away, that in that case don't ask, don't say Ameer al-Mu'mineen is seeking permission because I will no longer be Ameer al-Mu'mineen. I will simply be a dead body. You can say that Umar is asking, don't say Ameer al-Mu'mineen.

He had this desire before he passed away that he would be buried here. So if she would like to say no, then she can easily do so without having the fear of upsetting me. So when that was asked, Aisha r.a. again gave him permission or the family permission to bury him in the spot that she had for herself next to the Prophet and Abu Bakr s.a.w. So this great individual, one of the greatest things that we see about him and we hear about him is the fact that his leadership qualities and the ability to understand people, ability to understand and read through people and be just an expert when it comes to public relations, when it comes to akhlaaq, when it comes to handling people in different situations.

He was a master of that and that made him a master leader. So one of the pieces of advice he has shared at one occasion which I would like to go over today is a statement once he said, This is mentioned by Ibn al-Jawzi r.a. in the seerah and the biography of Ibn Umar al-Khattab r.a.

Avoiding the Realm of Accusations

He says:

Whoever puts himself in a compromising situation where people begin to accuse him or her of certain things. If you put yourself in a situation that opens up the possibility for people to have bad thoughts and suspicious thoughts about a person, then he should not blame the one who has thought evil of him.

Instead he should blame himself that why did I do such a thing or why was I in such a place doing such a thing at certain times that the one who passed by me or the one who was next to me or the one who heard about it, he started having some evil thoughts that maybe this person is up to some no good. Maybe he is trying to do something improper. So meaning, if you don't want people to falsely accuse you about anything, then ensure that you close the doors for any possibility for anyone to accuse you in the very first place.

Don't give people an opportunity. Don't give people an opportunity to accuse you of something. Many a times when someone is accused of something, we come out and say, like we're seeing it every day in the news, every single day, every single day, multiple times of the day, some new news released.

And says, no, I didn't do that. I have nothing to do with this. This is an accusation. This is politically motivated, etc., etc. So now this advice is very good for us and for people like that. That maybe Allah knows the truth. Maybe it is something is politically motivated. Maybe there is enemies and there are definitely many enemies that a person may have when they reach out a certain position. But try your best never to open up even a door or a window for someone to wiggle their way around and come up with an accusation.

If a person leads a life that is extremely upright and is super strict upon themselves with their relationships with others, nowadays with people of the opposite gender, for example, and when it comes to money dealings. If a person is extremely strict upon themselves and very harsh with themselves, acts like an auditor with themselves, acts like the way how an enemy looks out for a person's fall. Where does he slip and fall? Let me grab him.

If a person begins to treat himself like that, keeps his enmity with the nafs and sees, where are you going to try to make me slip? Then inshaAllah, others will not get an opportunity to create a storm. But if we open up the doors for that and we put ourselves in situations where someone may have something to say, for example, visiting a place after hours, maybe when no one is supposed to be there, you know, doing something fishy. He says, no, I'm not doing anything wrong.

But that's the whole idea. Don't blame people who get upset at us or who start saying things about us if we ourselves have created the means. Nabi Aalayhi Salaatu Was Salaam, that's why he mentioned in a hadith:

(Source: Tirmidhi and other collections)

Is to stay away from all of those places where a person can get accused of. Any place that you can get accused of, even though you're not doing haram. I mean a simple, very, you know, basic example would be if you have to get a bottle of water, go get it from a place where they serve something halal. Go get it from a gas station. Go get it from somewhere else. Instead of getting the same halal bottled water from a bar, for example.

When someone... And you say, no, Allah was doing this. But the fact that we went there, it's going to obviously open up a can of worms for people who are passing by or seeing us coming out of that place. Simple example, you can extrapolate that and you can take it anywhere you want.

The Prophet's Example of Guarding Reputation

But اتَّقُوا مَوَاضِعَ التُّهْمَةِ is the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam one day, he was with his wife, one of his wives, and he was walking by with her. It was a dark time in the night, through one of the alleys. And he noticed that a companion saw him with this lady.

And it was far. He could just see his silhouette. He couldn't see who he was. He could see the Prophet, could see probably the scarf and the hijab of a lady. Immediately the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, when he saw that Sahabi, he turned to him and he said, introduced that this is my wife. So when the Sahabi and this companion saw the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam turning back to him and saying that this lady who's with me at this time of the hour, in this place, is not a stranger, but rather my own wife.

He was very ashamed, overtaken, maybe by even guilt that, SubhanAllah, Ya Rasulullah, I would never think of you like that. Who am I and who are you? How would I ever dream of accusing you or thinking having and harboring an evil thought about you that you are doing something wrong, that you are walking somewhere in the middle of the night with someone who's besides your wife, for example. So Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, he's teaching us this.

He says, you know, he said that:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 3031; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2175)

The Shaytan flows through the veins, the way the blood flows. You're a great person. Look at how he, MashaAllah, dealt with the situation. He's like, I know you're a great person. You wouldn't possibly want to have any misgivings about me, but it's not your fault. Shaytan is there.

Shaytan loves to create suspicion. Shaytan loves to create suspicion between people so that they can stop benefiting from each other, mother and father, or children and parents, or wife and husband, or scholars and their students. There's always Shaytan says, how can I ruin this beautiful, harmonious relationship that there's mutually benefit by creating doubts about one another in each other's minds.

So Nabi'a Alaihi Wasallam, that is why he says that it's Shaytan who would do that. And then he said:

(Source: Tirmidhi and other collections)

Stay away from the places of suspicion. He gave that beautiful advice to him.

Keep Your Secrets Private

The next thing Umar Khattab رضي الله عنه says, is that:

Whoever hides his secret, then the options will be in his hands. If you hide your secrets, then you control it. You can take a decision. If you choose after one week to change things around, if you decide to cancel what you were doing and go on a different way, you're able to do that. But if we have shared our secret with too many people, then even though we don't want to go forward in that direction, we are forced to because we're worried about what people will say. What are people going to accuse me of? Or what are people going to say? So when it comes to any type of issue, whether it's a business matter, whether it's a marriage issue, about your children, or about yourself, or it's some type of other big step you want to take in your life, it is not a smart move to share these things with everyone immediately.

Because you're still trying to figure out what is the best option. You're still trying to figure out what is the best move you want to take, what's the best step. Once it's out, then you have another whole problem. You have to worry about PR. And you have to worry about what people will think. And you're not able to actually then work in your best interest instead you have to look at what other people are saying.

So he says:

Whoever hides his secrets, then the options will be in his hands.

Having Good Thoughts of Others

He mentions:

When it comes to the affairs of your brother, or your sister, or any other person, he says, put the affairs in the affairs of your brother or sister, treat it in the best possible manner. And you have the best thoughts about others.

Until you are overtaken by something which is completely contrary to that. Meaning, first off we should always have good thoughts of any situation. Always take the better meaning, have حُسْنَ الظَّنِّ Think that people are really what they say to be.

And unless you're overpowered by some evidence, that shows otherwise. But the default should be that people are good. The default should be that my brother is as he is saying, my sister is as she is saying, and that they don't have evil intentions, etc. That should be set a default. Unless that is overtaken by evidence. يَغْلِبُكَ Which is overpowering evidence, which is stronger evidence that takes the balance out of the scale.

And then one scale becomes heavier, meaning the scale of, I need to stay away from this person, I need not to do business with this person, or etc. Those type of things like that. And then he mentions:

That don't immediately think the most evil meaning of a word or a sentence that has been uttered by your brother's mouth. He made a comment, cracked a joke, said a statement. What does Shaytan tell us? If there are a hundred possibilities of that, we will always try to think the worst. If someone is giving a khutbah, for example, or someone is standing up giving a few words, each person think, Oh, he is referring to me.

This is a response to that. This incident took place, that's why this is happening. And if someone greets us or says a joke, shares a joke with us, it's like, Oh, this has to do with the conversation that took place last week. This has to do with the conversation that I had last year. This is referring to this. Don't we even find ourselves doing that? That when someone says something, we will find the most inflammatory explanation of that.

We will find sometimes the worst explanations or mihmal, the worst applications of that sentence, the motivations, that we're pointing fingers at. The reason that joke was said, the reason that food was served, the reason that person was asked to come to this party or not to come to that party, the reason I got invited or not invited. It could be something just basic logistics. It could be someone forgot. But what happens? Shaytan tells us to think of the worst scenario possible and start connecting the dots where there are no dots. We create the dot and then we connect it ourselves and say that this is probably what happened.

I'm sure we can start thinking about how many times we have fallen to this deception of Shaytan where he makes us end up doing something horrible like this. Then he mentions:

As long as you can find a good explanation of what he said. Did you hear someone said this about you? Now, that statement, can we say, that brother may have been misinformed probably. Or he was talking about what I did last year. Or he was speaking about another brother. Or you could say that, that person, what a liar.

You know what, I can't believe, what a backstabber, etc., etc. So if you can find opportunities and methods and ways of making that person, who you heard a statement being attributed to him, making that statement also true, but not belying that person who said that. And see, MashaAllah, he's still an upright person. And when he said that statement, he probably meant that. Okay, maybe you forgot. Maybe you're speaking about something else. Maybe you misunderstood. Maybe you misheard. And the thing is, the weird irony of this is, this happens every day.

Every day after investigation, we figure out there really was a miscommunication. There really was a misunderstanding. There really was some type of misconnection there. But yet we, many times, don't learn our lesson. And we still continue on that path of discrediting people, attacking people's intentions, and having the worst possible thoughts, that that's why he said that, that's why she said that, that's why they gave me that smile. That's why they looked at me that way.

I'm telling you from personal experience. Maybe I make the same mistakes, but people have come and said, you're upset, or you're angry, or this, that. What happened? He said, you looked at me that way. I said, I have no idea what you're talking about. I was looking at the watch, man. I was looking at the clock.

But it's running in the back of the mind. They're running in the back of the mind that the smallest movement of the eye, and the movement of the hand, there's some hidden subliminal messages that are coming out. There's anger within the person. There's frustration that's coming out at me. That's not the case. If you can find a possibility of interpreting their actions in a good manner, do it as long as you can do that.

Repaying Evil with Obedience to Allah

He says:

He says, and the best way to treat a person who has disobeyed Allah with regards to you. What does that mean? Someone who disobey Allah with regards to me? It's someone who backbited you, someone who hurt your feelings, someone who insulted you, someone who cheated you. The best way to treat a person who disobeyed Allah with regards to your rights is that you obey Allah with regards to him.

When someone broke the order of Allah in their treatment with you, the best way to repel that and the best answer to that is that you obey Allah Azza wa Jal in the way you treat that person. That you learn how to forgive, you learn how to forget, you learn how to do ihsan. That we take what they did and instead of harboring grudges, we give them, we floor them, we bring them to their knees with our kindness.

Where a person says, this is unbelievable. And that's what Nabi Aalayhi Salaatu Wasalaam did that. People tested his limits and they did all sorts of things. And when Nabi Aalayhi Salaatu Wasalaam would just turn around with a smile and a person who says, Nabi Aalayhi Salaatu Wasalaam is on a camel and a person is pulling his shawl and his upper garment so hard that he leaves red marks on his neck. You could choke someone like that. You can make someone fall down a camel and break his back.

And Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam simply looks and he says, what can I do for you? And he says, well, all this money and I mean all these camels and sheep and goats, they are not yours, they don't belong to you or your dad. They belongs to all of us. I want to have a share of the booty. I want to have a share of the spoils of war. Subhanallah. You see how he got tested? And Nabi Aalayhi Salaatu Wasalaam, he would, so with such kindness, he would say, okay, give this person, give him what he's asking for.

And people would say, okay, this can be known but a Nabi. This cannot be a normal human reaction. This has to be someone who has really subdued his self, is purified internally to be able to have such a beautiful reaction to someone who's acting so obnoxiously, so rudely, right? So he says, the best way to treat a person who has disobeyed Allah with regards to how he's treating you, is to obey Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala with regards to treating him.

Seek Truthful Friends

He mentions:

Go and find truthful friends.

Make effort and try your best to earn them. Try to earn good friends. Try to earn truthful friends. Why is that?

When you are enjoying good times, they will be the icing on the cake. During good times, they will be icing on the cake. They will be the most, they will just really top it off. They will really make your life even more enjoyable.

And if you're going through difficult times, they will be your support and your ability to fend off even further attacks from whatever situation you're going through. So having righteous and truthful friends is one of the greatest gifts that a person can enjoy. And that's what Umar radiallahu anhu says. And the last statement was:

Do Not Take Allah's Name in Vain

Don't take it easy. Don't take Allah's name in vain. Don't take an oath in Allah's name in vain. Randomly saying, والله بالله, I swear by Allah, etc. Otherwise Allah azza wa jal will disgrace you. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala's name is not to be taken lightly. A person who should take Allah's name only when in the most serious situations.

Summary of Umar's Advice

So this is the beautiful recaps, the pieces of advice of Umar radiallahu anhu as mentioned by Ibn al-Jawzi rahimahullah in his seerah of Umar radiallahu anhu. Just to translate it quickly, again for those who weren't here at the beginning. The one who presents himself to false accusations should not blame anyone who has had evil thoughts about him.

The one who keeps his secret to himself, he will have the options, he will be able to hold on to the options and take decisions as he likes. Keep the affairs of your brother, treat the affairs of your brother, the statements of your brother, the actions of your brother in the best possible manner until you get something completely conflicting to that and that is overwhelming evidence of something besides good. Any statement that comes from your brother or sister's mouth, anything that they say, try to take it at its face value.

And if you can't take it as face value, take it not just face value. Try to sugarcoat it. Try to make it even nice as much as possible. And as long as it's possible, try to find an avenue to take a good meaning about it. And the best way to treat someone who has disobeyed Allah with regards to you is that you obey Allah with regards to him and go and find and seek out righteous truthful friends and make effort in gaining as many as you can because they will be the beauty for you in good times and will be your support in difficult times.

Closing Du'a

We ask Allah Azza wa Jal to grant all of us the ability to inculcate these beautiful akhlaaq that Umar al-Khattab r.a was speaking about here, the character. May Allah Azza wa Jal grant me and all of us here and our children, our spouses, our parents, our generations to have the highest standard of character when dealing with one another and save us from su'ud dhan, from having evil thoughts about one another, from having evil speech about one another, from having bad things to say. May Allah Azza wa Jal grant us the ability to always speak the truth. May Allah Azza wa Jal grant us the best of friends, righteous pious friends who will keep us on the right track and will remind us when we're slipping and falling.

Please, inshaAllah.