Ustad Nauman Ali Khan, Prophet Mohammed pbuh The perfect Leader.

Prophet Muhammad ﷺ — The Perfect Leader

The āyah I want to share with you in today's khutbah is very difficult. It's easy to talk about it in the context of Rasulullah ﷺ because the āyah is primarily about the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. But it's very difficult to talk about it in the sense of the sunnah of the Messenger ﷺ and the example that he left for us to follow. Often times it's easy to talk about how great the Prophet ﷺ was and what an incredible example it was. But it's very difficult to put a mirror to ourselves and discover how far we are from the example he left.

Because Allah did not make him an incredible example just for us to praise his example. He made him that example so we can live up — as best we can — to that example. So in this particular āyah, Allah highlights a quality of leadership.

The Rasul of Allah ﷺ, we know that he played many roles. He played the role of a father, a husband, a friend, a neighbor. He played many roles. But in this particular āyah, Allah highlights his role as a leader — and one quality of leadership that Allah highlights.

Leadership Applies to All of Us

Before I talk about it, I want ourselves — myself included — to remember that when we learn something about the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, we have to think about how does that affect me as a leader. And many of you sitting in the audience, or one day listening to this recording, are going to be saying, "Well, I'm not a leader, so this doesn't apply to me." As a matter of fact, every member of this ummah —

— in some capacity we have all been given a position of leadership, all of us. And some of our leaderships are more obvious than others.

Every one of the men here who has a family, has children, is the leader of their household. You're leading your household. And so when you learn something about the leadership of Rasulullah ﷺ, and I learn something about that, I have to apply it to my family. Some of you are managers at the office, so you have to apply this to your employees because you're leaders over them. Some of you are teachers, and you're leaders of your classroom. Some of you are in leadership positions at organizations, or at masājid, or at schools. And in any of those capacities, you are responsible over people — whether it's part-time or full-time, whether it's a little bit or a lot, it doesn't matter.

But in pretty much every institution that human beings belong to, there's a hierarchy and there's leadership. And in many of those cases, you happen to be in a position of leadership. It may not be absolute leadership, it may be limited, but still it is there. So we have to bear in mind that recognition — that it's really not just talking about Rasulullah ﷺ, but through his legacy, it's talking to all of us. And indeed we can benefit from these beautiful āyāt. And this is actually one particularly beautiful āyah.

The Context: The Battle of Uḥud

Allah revealed this āyah in the context of the Battle of Uḥud. And Uḥud, in Sūrah Āl 'Imrān, Allah talks about it extensively — sixty or so āyāt are dedicated to the discussion about what went wrong at Uḥud. And this is after the fact. In other words, Allah did not reveal these āyāt before the battle, but rather these āyāt came down after the battle.

Many of you are familiar — and some of you need a reminder — the Battle of Badr was an incredible success. In the Battle of Badr, the Muslims were able to fight against a massive army, much more prepared and much more numerous — the army of Quraysh — and still annihilate seventy of their leaders. But the Battle of Uḥud was the exact opposite. It started out just like Badr. We were winning in the beginning. And then, because of one strategic mistake — the archers that the Rasul of Allah ﷺ appointed on the mountain.

He appointed them — you can call them snipers today, but they were archers back then — he appointed them to stay in their place, and he told them: "Even if you see birds eating from our corpses — in other words, every one of us is dead — do not move from there." And they saw the opposite. They didn't see the Muslims dying and birds eating off of their corpses. They saw the exact opposite. They saw that the Muslims were actually destroying the enemy.

Allah Himself says: Allah fulfilled His promise to you, when you were making the enemy feel the heat of battle. You were annihilating the enemy, you were wiping them out, you were driving them away. The enemy was making a run for it in the Battle of Uḥud — that's Allah's own description.

That's the time where there was a disagreement among them, and some decided: "No, the Prophet said don't come down even if you see us dying. But this is the opposite case — we're actually winning — so it's okay." That's not what he meant. So there was a disagreement among them.

And by the way, that's a separate topic — how do you deal with disagreements? And actually, if you legitimately look at it, the disagreement among those Ṣaḥāba was a legitimate difference of opinion. It was not that some decided to disobey the Messenger and the others did not — that's not the case. They actually both looked at the same statement of the Prophet ﷺ and interpreted it in two different ways. They had two different ways of looking at the same thing, and this happens on multiple occasions among the Ṣaḥāba. The problem wasn't that they interpreted it differently. The problem was they broke the chain of command. Because the one in charge — the Ṣaḥābi left in charge, the battalion commander — his decision was: we stay. And when the Prophet ﷺ leaves somebody in charge, you have to listen to him even if you have a difference of opinion. That was the real problem. But that's a separate topic.

In any case, they came down. Khālid ibn al-Walīd — whom we now say raḍiyAllāhu 'anhu; but if we were alive then at that time, we would not be saying raḍiyAllāhu 'anhu, because he wasn't Muslim yet — and he was an experienced military man, so he saw from the corner of his eye that the Muslims had left their strategic sniper post. So he rendezvous'd, came around, and flanked the Muslims from behind, and the entire scene of battle turned upside down. All chaos broke loose. The Muslims didn't know where the enemy was coming from, what was going on.

Even the Messenger ﷺ got hit so hard he fell unconscious. His tooth was knocked out and he fell unconscious. And when he woke up, his face was filled with blood. And while he was passed out, a rumor spread that the Prophet ﷺ had been killed. And then Allah revealed the āyah:

No soul gets to die until Allah gives permission.

Anyway, there was so much chaos on the battlefield that people like 'Umar raḍiyAllāhu 'anhu — you can imagine what a big asset 'Umar is on the battlefield — he dropped his sword and sat on the ground. He said, "What's the point now? He's been killed. What's the point now?" The Muslims were demoralized. Then it was confirmed that the Prophet ﷺ was actually still alive. And so the Muslims went into a retreat position and headed up towards the mountain.

Allah describes: When you were running up the mountain, you were scaling the mountain and you wouldn't turn back to look at anyone. In other words, you were desperate to save the Messenger ﷺ from this chaotic situation. And by the way, some people were running ahead and they left the Prophet behind.

And the Messenger is calling you from behind you. Then Allah gave them the courage to fight back, and they turned a little bit of it around. But still, by the time it was over, seventy of the greatest Ṣaḥāba of the Ummah were shaheed — they had been killed — including the beloved uncle of the Prophet ﷺ. When Hind got a hold of him, she actually ripped his heart out and chewed on it. And so for the Prophet to see his uncle in that state ﷺ, after he himself had almost been killed — it's a traumatic experience. And all of his problems began with what? With one act of disobedience. One act of disobedience, and seventy Ṣaḥāba are killed, including the family of the Prophet ﷺ.

The Real Test of Leadership

Now I want you to think about this. The real test of leadership is not when your followers are following you. The real test of leadership is when your followers disappoint you — when you have all the reasons in the world to be angry at them — because they've done something terrible. They did not obey a very simple instruction. They have made a mistake.

And you can imagine: after it's all said and done, those archers, those Ṣaḥāba who were positioned in those sniper positions, when they are going to be having a meeting with Rasulullah ﷺ, they are expecting terrible things. They have disappointed their beloved ﷺ. They must be scared. You know.

So before the meeting — and let's just put this in perspective a little bit. You mess up at your job. You had a project due, the client was waiting for it, you didn't submit it. You sent the email but it didn't go through, and you thought it went through. And now you're in big trouble because the client is asking to cancel the contract, your company is going to lose a million dollars, and it's your fault. And on Monday — this is Friday — the whole weekend has gone by, and on Monday there's going to be a meeting with your boss. What are you expecting in that meeting? And that's just about money. This is about lives. This is about family loss. This is about blood. Can you imagine what that meeting has to be like?

And so when this meeting is about to happen, Allah reveals an āyah to the Prophet ﷺ before he goes to meet with the Ṣaḥāba. So this is Allah preparing him for this meeting. That's the āyah. How does a leader deal with people who have terribly, terribly disappointed him?

The Āyah: A Divine Leadership Training

The āyah begins:

فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ اللَّهِ لِنتَ لَهُمْ — It is by the unimaginable, indescribable, mysterious, loving mercy of Allah that you are lenient towards them.

The language here deserves a lot of attention. The fact that it began with what we call a jārr — بِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ اللَّهِ. Actually, لِنتَ لَهُمْ بِرَحْمَةٍ مِنَ اللَّهِ — that's the normal Arabic sentence structure for this sentence. But when you do this taqdīm, when you put this in the beginning — فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ اللَّهِ — when you do it like that, that actually means: this is an unusual kind of rahmah. And it is only because of this special gift from Allah of rahmah, of loving mercy, that has come from Him to you, that you are going to be able to be nice to them and lenient towards them in the meeting.

The second benefit I want to highlight is the word مَا — فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ اللَّهِ. The scholars say that this مَا is zā'idah — extra. You could say فَبِرَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ اللَّهِ. So the addition of the مَا actually adds a kind of ta'ajjub — in simple English: it is a shocking level of mercy. It is a shocking level of love and compassion that has come from Allah.

Then the fact that رَحْمَةٍ is also not بِرَحْمَةِهِ — you know, in other places in Qur'an Allah says قُل بِفَضْلِ اللَّهِ وَبِرَحْمَتِهِ — there's an iḍāfah, they're connected together. But here He says فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ اللَّهِ — He separated the two with the مِن, and the benefit of separating these two is that it creates a mystery: What kind of love and mercy is this? Where did it come from? And then it answers the question: مِنَ اللَّهِ. So there are three, four, or five devices just in فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ اللَّهِ that are almost impossible to capture in English translation — but the point of them is that the way Allah has granted the gift of rahmah, of leniency, of softness, of love to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ — and the gift that He gave to the Ṣaḥāba also — is beyond description. Because no leader should ever leave an example like this one.

The Meaning of لِنتَ لَهُمْ — Leniency in Every Form

When in the military, soldiers make a mistake and lives are lost, and there's a hearing afterwards — it's called a court-martial — and when that hearing is done, typically those soldiers are either executed or sent to prison. That's what happens to them for insubordination, because they disobeyed a direct order. That's what happens in a usual military scenario. And by the way, this is directly a military scenario. And the Rasul ﷺ in this case is not just a leader — he's a general of the army. And these soldiers are presenting their case. And Allah says: you are exceptional. There's no one like you. Even in this case, you are unusually lenient. It's something that has come from Allah for you.

And then He says: the word لِنتَ fascinates me — the words in this āyah — لِنتَ لَهُمْ, which I keep translating as you are lenient towards them. The word لَيْن in Arabic is the opposite of ruggedness and harshness. And harshness could be in your look, harshness could be in your speech, harshness could be in your actions, harshness could be in your gestures, harshness can also be in your silence. Sometimes you're mad at your son or your daughter, and your harshness is not that you yelled at them — but your harshness is that you're not talking to them, that you're not making eye contact. Sometimes the mother is upset with the child, and the mother doesn't look at the baby, and the baby knows — the child knows — mama's angry. She doesn't have to say anything, but there's a kind of ruggedness, a roughness there because of her attitude, her facial expression.

Allah told the Messenger ﷺ لِنتَ لَهُمْ — but did He specify how? He left it completely open. In other words: in your speech, in your facial expressions, in your emotions, in your interaction with them, the way you will look towards them — all of it will have to be soft. That is specially from Allah. Before you go into this meeting, let me prepare you. SubhanAllah.

A little bit more about the word لَيْن — where this word comes from. They say in Arabic, تَلَيَّنَ — when you give somebody compliments to make them feel good, وَصَفَهُ بِخَيْرِ أَوْصَافِهِ — when you describe someone with the best qualities that they have, they describe this as تَلَيَّنَ. One of the implications of لِنتَ لَهُمْ is: when you go in there, highlight the good in these people. The meeting is supposed to be about what they messed up, what is bad about them. But when you go — say good things about them. They're depressed enough as it is. They're embarrassed enough as it is about what happened. They're human beings, they made a mistake. They came to believe in you and they've made sacrifices for you before ﷺ. And yes, they made a mistake. But it doesn't wipe away all of the good that they have. And they need a little bit of a morale boost — something they were not expecting from you. So you need to go in there and say something nice to each of them. لِنتَ لَهُمْ — you're going to start this meeting with a compliment.

And this is incredible leadership. You know, they pay millions of dollars — executives pay millions of dollars, and companies spend all this money on executive leadership and corporate leadership and boosting morale. And some of you go to those boring meetings, and you look at 800 PowerPoint presentation slides and you fall asleep. And at the end of it: "Yeah, we're gonna beat last year's sales record!" Everybody's in it only for the money. That's all artificial. At the end of the day, all of it is artificial. That's not real leadership.

The real leadership — the prophetic model of leadership, the model of Muḥammadun Rasulullāh ﷺ — is really:

(A well-known Arabic saying: "People are slaves to those who are good to them.")

People are in servitude — they become enslaved to those who are good to them. And when you were least expected to be good to your followers, that's when you were good to them. لِنتَ لَهُمْ.

Going further with the word لَيْن — I'm still not done with this word, because it really baffles me. They say in Arabic, صَاحَبَهُ بِلَيِّنِهِ — he listened to her, softening his stance. In other words, لَيْن is used when you listen to someone without passing judgment. You listen to someone after putting your anger aside. You know, there's one thing when you're about to listen to someone — I'll give you an example so it's easy to understand. If my daughter got an F in math, and I said, "What happened here? Explain yourself." I don't care what she says — I'll still be angry. Let's be honest. It's not like she's going to give me a very logical explanation and I'll say, "Oh okay, mashAllah, give me a hug." No. I've already made up my mind that I'm upset. That decision's already been made. Now no matter what she says, it really doesn't matter.

But صَاحَبَهُ بِلَيِّنِهِ means: actually, he listened to her with full attention, but he didn't make up his mind that he's going to be angry anyway. You're going to listen to them softly too. Not only will you give them softness, but when they're speaking, you're not going to be angry. You're going to listen calmly and maintain a soft stance towards them.

You know, the word لَيْن in Arabic also refers to a soft date that is particularly tasty. You should be like that date — you should be a treat to them when you go in there. SubhanAllah. Then the word also means rāḥah — softness, comfort. It means something that gives you comfort. You should go in there and be a source of comfort for these people — not a source of misery, not a source of sadness, not a source of depression. You should be the other way around.

This is about the Rasul of Allah ﷺ so far. But you know what? This is also about us. We're leaders too, aren't we? When the wife disappoints you, when the child disappoints you, when the employee disappoints you, when the friend disappoints you — what's our reaction? How do we respond? How do we deal with it? And by the way, the Rasul of Allah ﷺ is being told to calm down and be the nicest he can be in a situation where loved ones have been killed. But we lose our temper over keys that are lost, over a cell phone you can't find, over a phone call she didn't pick up. Can you imagine? When we say we love the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ — what position are we in to talk like that? This is the legacy he left ﷺ. This is the leadership Allah is teaching him.

The Opposite: فَظًّا غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ

وَلَوْ كُنتَ فَظًّا — remarkable words. فَظًّا — faḍḍ — they say in Arabic means a few things. I'll highlight each of them. First, it means خَشِنُ الْكَلَامِ — someone who speaks in a harsh, mean, nasty way. فَظٌّ literally has to do with speaking to somebody. And actually, أَفَظَّهُ means "I sprayed him" — like you literally sprayed them with your yelling and screaming. You know when somebody is yelling at the top of their lungs and there's almost spit coming out of their mouth? This is فَظٌّ in Arabic. If you were screaming at the top of your lungs, yelling and scolding them — if you walked into that meeting and said, "What happened? What did you people do?" — if you did that — that's what Allah is saying: وَلَوْ كُنتَ فَظًّا. And this is about the speech.

But you know what? Sometimes there are people who say, "Well, I say mean things, but I still love you inside. I mean, I yell at you, but give me a hug afterwards." Some parents do that. Some parents lose their cool, they go off on their kids, and then afterwards they're like, "I still love you, it's okay." No. It doesn't undo it. The damage is done.

Allah, before He talked about being hard in the heart, first addressed the tongue. وَلَوْ كُنتَ فَظًّا — first. غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ — second. غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ means hard of the heart. In other words, inside you develop a grudge against them. You can't have that either. So there are two problems. One: speaking in an angry way, even though you say "I love you, but you messed up." No. You can't do that. You've got to speak very softly. And second: sometimes people speak softly but the opposite is happening inside. They're speaking softly, but they're holding a grudge. The father is saying, "I'm not angry." But he's angry. He's got something inside.

Allah adds the second problem. غِلَظ in Arabic is something impenetrable — مَا لَا يَدْخُلُ فِيهِ شَيْءٌ — something which you cannot penetrate. If your heart becomes so hard, so disappointed with these people, that you have written them off — even if you're speaking nicely to them, you've basically given up on them. They are no good to you. This is غِلَظُ الْقَلْبِ.

لَوْ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ — if you were that way. So there are two things here about the Rasul ﷺ: one, when you go in there, be nice. Your face shouldn't look depressed. Make them feel comfortable. Say good things about them. Calm them down. When they speak, listen softly. You need to control all of your emotions and all of that sadness and put it away when you deal with your followers.

And on the other hand, if you didn't do these things, and if you were like any other leader who would lose their cool, what would happen?

لَانفَضُّوا مِنْ حَوْلِكَ — some scholars of Islam say that Allah swears here — Allah swears to the fact that the Ṣaḥāba would have run away from you. This is in the Qur'an. The Ṣaḥāba would have run away from Rasulullah ﷺ — Allah swears by it — if he was mean. If he was mean. The Messenger would still be speaking the truth. He would still be the recipient of the Qur'an. He would still be saying لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ. He would still be teaching everything. All of the evidences would still be there. But one thing would be missing: his softness. And Allah says even that much is enough — for these Ṣaḥāba who are willing to die for the sake of Allah — even they, Allah guarantees it, they would have run away from you.

And what is انفِضَاض? لَانفَضُّوا مِنْ حَوْلِكَ — انفِضَاض in Arabic means when you drop a cup or a glass and it shatters, and all the pieces of glass run away from each other. Why is that description used? Not لَهَرَبُوا مِنْ حَوْلِكَ — they would have run away from you. Not لَفَرُّوا مِنْ حَوْلِكَ — they would have escaped from you. No — لَانفَضُّوا مِنْ حَوْلِكَ. Because when a glass breaks, you can't put it back together. They will run away from you in a way that they will never come back. And even if they do, it will never be like the unity that they once had. This is the lesson of leadership taught to Rasulullah ﷺ.

We are very good at getting angry. Muslims, mashAllah. Everything makes us angry. You know what really should make us angry? How far we are from the legacy that the Prophet ﷺ left. How far we are from the word of Allah. How bad we are at controlling our temper. That should make us mad at ourselves — not anybody else.

Pardon, Seek Forgiveness, and Consult

What do you do after that? The āyah is not done. As this kalām — this leadership training from Allah to Rasulullah ﷺ — continues, what does He tell him?

فَاعْفُ عَنْهُمْ — lovingly pardon them and move on.

وَاسْتَغْفِرْ لَهُمْ — and make istighfār for them. Ask Allah to forgive them. There's nothing between you and me. We're good. I'm no longer angry. I'm already being nice to you and I'm no longer angry — that's number one.

Number two: when the meeting is over and you're going to make du'ā — you're going to make du'ā for the maghfirah of Ḥamzah raḍiyAllāhu 'anhu, you're going to make du'ā for the entrance into Jannah of all of those shuhadā' — you will also make du'ā for the archers who started this mess. You will make du'ā for them. This will be your true test of leadership. How you know you have nothing left in your heart — when you're making du'ā for your parents, when you're making du'ā for your loved ones, you can also make du'ā for those who disappointed you, those who messed up. That's a leader.

And by the way, this du'ā is not in public. You don't walk into the meeting and start it by saying, "May Allah forgive you people." No. This is in private. Because making du'ā in public is a spectacle — you're just embarrassing people. This is your way of winning them. But in private, when you're begging Allah in your own time, then you make time to beg for them — the ones who disappointed you — and you say to Allah: "Ya Rabb, these are just followers. They made a mistake. Forgive their mistake. Let them move on from this. Make them stronger. Make us better." This is the du'ā you make.

But it's not over yet. Then the next time there's a meeting — call the people who disappointed you. Have them join the meeting. And not only have them join the meeting, when an important decision comes up — you ask them, "What do you think? I'd like to hear your opinion." And don't just listen to their opinion artificially, "Hey, tell me what you think" — and then discard it. No.

وَشَاوِرْهُمْ فِي الْأَمْرِ — actually consult their opinion. Take whose consultation? The same people who disappointed you. Imagine: the same people who disappointed Rasulullah ﷺ in the Battle of Uḥud — there's a meeting happening for Aḥzāb — he calls the same Ṣaḥāba and says, "What do you think we should do?" And they're like, "What? Me? You want my opinion? I just messed up last time." "No — I need your opinion. I value your opinion." And this Ṣaḥābi will say: this can only be the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. Because no man has a heart that big. This has to come from Allah. That's why the āyah begins: فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ اللَّهِ.

We don't discard people's opinions because they disappointed us in the past. And we don't just artificially take their opinion — a lot of times we just listen to people but we don't really listen to them. We just go through the exercise. That's artificial. We shouldn't be doing that. The Messenger, whatever he does, he does with sincerity ﷺ.

Final Step: Trust in Allah

وَشَاوِرْهُمْ فِي الْأَمْرِ ۖ فَإِذَا عَزَمْتَ فَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ — then when you reach the final decision, trust Allah. Because the decision you people reach — and that you reach ﷺ — that is not a guarantee of success. The guarantee of success comes from Allah. So trust Allah after you make a decision.

No doubt Allah loves those who put their trust in Him.

What are we learning at the end? We don't trust our leadership. And our leadership doesn't even trust itself. At the end of the day, all of us trust Allah. We do the best we can. And whatever decisions we make, at the end of it we don't say, "I'm the leader, I made this decision, it's the best decision." No. We say, "I made this decision — Ya Rabb, put khayr in it." Because this decision doesn't just affect me, it affects all of my followers, it affects the whole family, it affects everything. So: Ya Allah, put khayr in this decision. I don't know if it's the best. They have relied upon me — and I rely upon You.

Conclusion

This is a beautiful, beautiful sampling of the Rasul ﷺ's legacy of leadership. And I pray that we are able to get even an ounce of this into our personal lives — even a little bit of it into our family lives, into our business lives, into our professional lives, into our community life. Then wallahi, the barakāt of the sunnah, the blessings of the sunnah — you know one of the beautiful blessings of the sunnah, when we really apply leadership principles, is that people love each other for the sake of Allah. And when you don't apply these leadership principles, people start hating each other, people start getting angry at each other. This kills anger. This puts out the fire.

So may Allah make us of the people who are able to have soft hearts towards their fellow Muslims, and recognize the value and appreciation of forgiving one another and moving forward.