Forgiveness in Sha‘bān - Preparing for the Arrival of Ramadan | Jumu'ah Khutbah | Sh. Yaser Birjas

Forgiveness in Sha'bān - Preparing for the Arrival of Ramadan

A very famous hadith, you've probably heard it many many times every single year, every single Ramadan. She asked the Prophet ﷺ a simple question. If I'm going to be coming into the last 10 nights of the month of Ramadan, what is the most important du'a, what is the most important thing I need to be asking Allah on those last 10 days of Ramadan?

We know the value of the 10 days of Ramadan. We know that in those last 10 days of Ramadan, there's a laylah, one single night, Allah says خَيْرٌ مِّنْ أَلْفِ شَهْرٍ, better than worshipping 1,000 months, an entire lifetime. All of this is the virtue of these last 10 nights. So if Allah wants me to ask for something, if Allah wants me to do something, it must be the most valuable thing.

So when the Prophet ﷺ was asked, he answered Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her:

(Sunan at-Tirmidhi, Hadith 3513)

"O Allah, You are oft-forgiving. تُحِبُّ الْعَفْوَ And you love forgiveness. فَاعْفُ عَنِّي Ya Allah, forgive me." What a simple message.

Although the word عفو in the Arabic language has deeper profound meaning more than just forgiveness. It's more like pardoning, overlooking. So the idea here is that the Prophet ﷺ gave Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, the summary of the month of Ramadan. And what is that, ya jama'ah? To be forgiven. Just to be forgiven. To be clear. To come out with a clean slate. Meaning carrying absolutely no heavy weight, no burden.

Even the Prophet ﷺ when he was climbing the Mimbar over the three steps and he kept saying, Ameen, Ameen, Ameen. And Jibreel came to him and says, one of the things he asked him, he says, رَغِمَ أَنْفُهُ May this person be humiliated. Someone who lives into the month of Ramadan and through the month of Ramadan until the month of Ramadan is over وَلَا يُغْفَرَ لَهُ and he's not forgiven. Say Ameen. And he said Ameen.

This is what we're looking for in the month of Ramadan. We're looking for forgiveness. We're looking to overlook our mistakes. Allah to remove the burden of our hearts and our minds and our records. That is what we're looking for, my dear brothers and sisters.

The Importance of Sha'bān

So why am I saying this even though we still have more than two weeks until the month of Ramadan begins? The reason I'm telling you about this right now is because you still have two more weeks to prepare yourself for that. And what does that even mean?

See, my dear brothers and sisters, in a hadith from Abu Musa al-Ash'ar, may Allah be pleased with him, the Prophet ﷺ said, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, Allah, on the midnight of the month of Sha'ban, which is about a few nights from today. So if today is 11th, we talk about three more nights. That's it. Three days you have until that moment. Allah, in a manner that suits His Majesty, He looks upon His creation.

فَيَغْفِرُ لِكُلِّ أَحَدٍ And He forgives everyone. He's forgiving everyone. He's overlooking their mistakes, their sins. Subhanahu wa ta'ala, He's now taking people by His mercy on that night. إِلَّا لِمُشْرِكٍ أَوْ مُشَاحِنٍ Except for someone who worships other than Allah, and mushahin, someone who has hostility in his heart against the other believers.

Those two people don't deserve that forgiveness. One of them is a mushrik, and we understand that. They're worshiping other than Allah, equating other than Allah with Him. They don't deserve it. But what about the other one? He says mushahin, someone who has in his heart animosity, malice, have some hatred in their hearts. Towards who? Other believers.

What does that mean? These people, carrying in their hearts such animosity, they're not willing to forgive. They're not willing to forgive, so they're willing to live with a grudge in their heart against the believers. And they're asking Allah for forgiveness. Like you're not willing to forgive. You want the one, Subhanahu wa ta'ala, who forgives everyone to forgive you, when you yourself, you're unable even to forgive that person that you're holding grudge against in your heart.

So this, it's a profound meaning, no wonder, in Shaban, is preparation for Ramadan. To receive the mercy of Ramadan, you have to be ready for it. You have to empty that vessel so that mercy can settle into it. But if that vessel is full with hatred, with animosity, with malice towards people and the believers, it's already full, it's already occupied. Where do you think that mercy is going to land? And that is a profound meaning in the month of Shaban.

Deeds Presented to Allah

Brothers and sisters, in another hadith in Sahih Muslim, the Prophet ﷺ mentioned, تُعْرَضُ الْأَعْمَالُ فِي كُلِّ اثْنَيْنِ وَخَمِيسٍ To tell you that how often your good deeds and your bad deeds, unfortunately, they've been presented before Allah. So the Messenger of Allah is saying, your deeds will be presented before Allah on Mondays and Thursdays. Like twice weekly. Every Monday and every Thursday, your deeds for those days go up.

فَيَغْفِرُ اللَّهُ لِكُلِّ امْرِئٍ And Allah is willing to forgive everybody except someone who have shirk, which means they associate partner with Allah. And He says, إِلَّا امْرَأً كَانَتْ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَ أَخِيهِ شَحْنَاءُ And a believer who is still holding grudge against their own brother and sisters. He said, أَتْرُكُوا هَذَيْنِ حَتَّى يَصْطَلِحَا Allah will say, defer them until they reconcile. Give them another chance. They're not ready yet. Until they're willing to forgive each other, I'm willing to forgive them as well too. And that is in general, every Mondays and Thursdays. So you have opportunity after opportunity and your records are being held back a little bit here.

But in the other hadith, in Sunan an-Nasa'i, which is specifically about the month of Sha'ban, the Prophet ﷺ was asked by Usama bin Zayd, his beloved, he said, قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ لَمْ أَرَكَ تَصُومُ شَهْرًا I haven't seen you fasting a month besides Ramadan, more than you do in Sha'ban. ذَلِكَ شَهْرٌ يَغْفُلُ عَنْهُ النَّاسُ The Prophet ﷺ said, that's a month over which many people, they don't pay attention to. They don't pay attention to it. It's between Rajab and Ramadan, he said.

وَهُوَ شَهْرٌ تُرْفَعُ فِيهِ الْأَعْمَالُ It's a month when the deeds of the year go up to Allah. So your Monday and Thursday records, they go up to the earthly heavens. They'd be recorded over there. So throughout the year, if you still reconcile, if you still seek forgiveness, if you still repent, it will be erased from the record before it goes up to Allah. You have a chance. But in Sha'ban it goes over there, now it's recorded. Now it's registered. So he said, فَأُحِبُّ أَنْ يُرْفَعَ عَمَلِي وَأَنَا صَائِمٌ I love my deeds to be raised to Allah while I'm fasting. In Sha'ban.

So brothers and sisters, what we learn from these ahadith is that Sha'ban supposed to be now your training ground for the month of Ramadan. You're seeking forgiveness. Why don't you offer it first?

Levels of Forgiveness

And in the ayah, Allah says:

He said, Subhanahu wa ta'ala وَإِن تَعْفُوا وَتَصْفَحُوا وَتَغْفِرُوا Three different statements. Three different words. Each one of them speaks about one level, one degree of forgiveness. And what does that even mean?

You see, my dear brothers, the words are مَغْفِرَة، عَفْو، صَفْح. Because some people might say, Shaykh, but some people, I can't. No matter how much I try, the damage, the hurt, the pain, look, you have the option. You have the option to seek justice. And you have the option to overlook and forgive. And even your level of forgiveness is at your own grace as well.

So forgiveness is when you forgive people but not pursuing punishment or retaliation for what they have done to you. What does that mean? You know, someone wronged me. You know what? I'll let it be. But that's it. I'm not going to forget that for them. So I'm not going to be cordial with them. I'm not going to even open my doors for them. I'm going to avoid them. Can I do this? Yes, that's called forgiveness at that level. I forgave the sin, the mistake. I'm not pursuing any retaliation or punishment for that because I don't want to. I don't want to deal with this. But at the same time, I don't want to deal with this person altogether. That's called forgiveness. And that's the bare minimum.

The second is called عَفْو. عَفْو is when you forgive and you forget. You know, I don't want to walk around carrying that burden in my heart. Because when you carry that burden, that grudge in your heart, your mind becomes preoccupied with what they might think if I do this or I do that. So you prevent yourself from living your life out of fear. If they hear about it, what are they going to say? What are they going to do? So you don't go to Umrah because I didn't want to say I went to Umrah. I don't want to do this business because I didn't want to say such and such. And you live a different life because you're just holding that grudge against these individuals. And it becomes a competition and hasad and all these kind of things.

But it's better for you to forgive and forget and move on. Yeah, but they don't deserve this forgiveness. Well, you're not forgiving because you owe it to them. You forgive it because you owe it first to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and second to yourself. Because I don't want to live my life holding this grudge against these. I just want to move on. I don't even want to deal with it. So that has to come genuinely from the heart. Meaning if I see them, I'll be okay with them. But I'm not going to do too much. Just normal relationship. As-salamu alaykum, how are you doing? Alhamdulillah, I'm doing fine.

The third level is صَفْح. صَفْح is coming from the behavior when you turn your face away from it. Meaning as if it never happened. You pretend I didn't even see it. That is a high level of forgiveness. So you don't just forgive and forget. No. You pretend it never happened so when you deal with them you reconcile. Like you treat them as if it never happened at all.

And when people see that from you they might just be like wow, how do you do this? How is that even possible? Did you forget what they've done to you? No, I didn't. But I don't care about it anymore. Now that is a high level of forgiveness.

And when Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala spoke to the Prophet ﷺ He said to the Prophet ﷺ When you forgive, forgive in the most beautiful way. The most beautiful صَفْح. And he says فَاعْفُ عَنْهُمْ وَاصْفَحْ Practice عَفْو and صَفْح. Forgive and forget and move on. And reconcile with them. Be the better person. And that's what the Prophet ﷺ has been ordered in these ayat in the Qur'an.

Justice vs. Forgiveness

Brothers and sisters, when it comes to the level of forgiveness, we have to understand you have the choice to seek justice. You have the choice to seek justice. I don't want to forgive them. I want to take my haqq back. Absolutely. Warranted. You have the right to seek justice. But that justice that you're pursuing might not bring you that peace you're looking for.

But that ihsan, as Allah says:

With justice, He also asks you to present grace. Being the better person, the bigger person in this situation. Not because, again, you owe it to them. But you owe it to Allah first and then to yourself.

Brothers and sisters, so when we practice and we ask you in the month of Shaban to prepare for Ramadan with that level of forgiveness, check out what's in your heart. How many people you hold a grudge against them. And remember that your ability to forgive and overlook and move on with life, it's not weakness. You're not lowering yourself to them. You're not justifying the wrong doing or behavior.

That's not what it is. No. And I'm not completely asking you to ignore your haqq and your right. No. That's a choice you're making. Why? Because you want to show the strength that you have in your heart. Alhamdulillah. My heart is strong. It's not affected by these things. I want to show, alhamdulillah, that I'm above these دنيا things. I'm not going to compete and fight for these little things in this دنيا. I have a higher lofty goal. I want to please Allah with that. So I want to show that I'm servant to Allah, not to the shaytan, not to my whims, not to my desires, not more to my ego, not to the desire to seek revenge. I don't want to do this. I want to subjugate myself to Allah, not to these worldly things.

And besides, when I make that decision, it's a choice. And when you have the choice, you're the strong one. When you have the choice and decide not to pursue that, and you decide to forgive and forget, you realize you are the strong one over here. As Allah says:

Because to forgive, you need to have صبر. You need to have the ability to release that energy and make that retaliation. But you decided to restrain yourself. You forgive. You overlook. You pardon the person. And Allah said after that, إِنَّ ذَٰلِكَ لَمِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُورِ Indeed, that kind of attitude, that kind of behavior, مِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُورِ the strongest resolves. Like the strongest people are those who can control themselves and seek that which is best for them in the دنيا and in the آخرة.

Brothers and sisters, we've seen that from the sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ. I mean, سبحان الله, when we look at this level of forgiveness, the people who ask me, who can do this, sheikh? I understand forgiving by overlooking and just move on or even just at least I take it out of my heart. But you ask me to be kind to them, invite them over, and have dinner with them and so on. I can't do this. And who is able to do that? Well, the Prophets can do this. Yeah, but they are messengers of Allah.

When Allah asks us, He says:

These are the ones whom Allah has guided. So follow their guidance that Allah is commanding us to do. So I want to follow the guidance of the Prophet ﷺ as much as I can.

And we have seen the Prophet ﷺ after Uhud, when he was bleeding, when he was bleeding, and Fatimah ﷺ, his daughter, when she was trying to stop the bleeding, and she was crying, and she was kind of like talking bad about the people. How could they do this to you, Rasulullah? And the Prophet ﷺ kept saying:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 4084)

Ya Allah, forgive my people. They don't know anything. They know not. Like they don't know exactly the damage, the harm that they're causing to themselves. So Ya Allah, I forgive them for what they've done to me. Forgive them, Ya Rabbi. Guide their hearts. Like in a moment like this, who can be so tolerant? But that's what we call صفح جميل, the beautiful forgiveness.

And when the Prophet ﷺ, he had the ability to retaliate and take revenge against the people of Mecca in that moment, what did he do? I mean, if he did what was expected of him back in the days, to kill the people and destroy the city and build a new name for himself and so on, no one would actually say anything about it because that was the case back in the days. That's how empires, you know, destroyed and built. But he did something because he was looking for something outside of this world. He was looking for their guidance. He was fighting for their hearts.

And that's why when they asked, when he told them, what do you think I'm going to do to you right now? Imagine now all the population in Mecca, so scared, surrounded by 10,000 warriors, 10,000 swords. They know. They can finish them in an instant. And he said to them, what do you think I'm going to do to you right now? As if he was telling them, you tell me, how should I punish you? Tell me. Basically he said, you deserve punishment. You tell me. Choose the punishment for yourself.

But what did they say? They said, you are a good brother. And we know that you're going to be good to your family. But what he did, peace be upon him, was unexpected to them. He said, You're all released. You're all free.

When they heard the Prophet, peace be upon him, released them with no compensation, no retributions, none of that stuff, they were shocked. But at the same time, the big shock for them is that not understanding that this level of forgiveness, this level of tolerance, this level of عفو, is not from this world. It is divine. Someone can reach that level of forgiveness is not pursuing anything from this world. And no one can do this unless he has a special, really, special goal in the Akhirah. And that's what they realize no one can do this but a Prophet. Therefore, he must be sent by God. And they said, أشهد أن لا إله إلا الله وأشهد أن محمداً رسول الله. That level of forgiveness brought them back to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

My dear brothers and sisters, once again, you have the option to seek justice. You have the option to do that. But Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala can recommend for you to forgive, forget, and move on.

My dear brothers and sisters, the Prophet ﷺ says in the hadith:

(Sunan at-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1924)

Show mercy on those on earth and the one in heaven, subhanahu wa ta'ala will show mercy upon you.

And I'm asking right now to go after this Jummah and sit down and write down the names of the people you hate the most. And start saying, okay, one after the other one inshallah. That's not what I'm asking from you. All I'm asking, you have two weeks until Ramadan starts. Can you start work on your heart? Work on yourself. Work on your heart. And when you reach that moment, that tipping point, you will see yourself easily overlooking and forgiving people. But when you sit down and try to forgive one after the other one, it's going to be very hard for you. But work on yourself. Really, work on yourself.

What is your moral compass? I need Allah's pleasure. Okay, what does that require from me? Patience. Having the higher, alhamdulillah, attitude in this regard. You know what? Not pursuing my ego. Maybe I should actually do this, you should do that. So work on yourself. You have more than 14 days, inshallah, until Ramadan starts. Two weeks, more than two weeks. Work on this.

So before Ramadan starts, inshallah, I hope that you've reached that level where your heart is at ease. When you overlook this issue and forgive this person and move on from this situation, alhamdulillah, I hope your heart will be at ease so it's ready to receive the رحمة and the mercy from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala when Ramadan starts, bi-idhnillahi azzawajal.

So brothers and sisters, remember, if you don't train yourself to forgive in Sha'ban, it's going to be very hard for you to do it in Ramadan. Because you're busy in Ramadan trying to do عبادة, so how are you going to forgive people? So that's something very important to keep in mind. And if you don't purify and clear your heart in Ramadan, I'm afraid you're not going to savor the sweetness of the عبادة in the month of Ramadan. So make sure to clear your heart inshallah wa tabarak wa ta'ala. Alhamdulillah.