Reflecting on Previous Ramadans - Shaykh Aqeel Mahmood

Reflecting on Previous Ramadans

All praise is due to Allah. We praise Him, seek His help, and seek His forgiveness. We seek refuge in Allah from the evils of our souls and from the evils of our deeds.

Whomsoever Allah guides, none can misguide him, and whosoever He leads astray, none can guide him. I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, and that Muhammad is His servant and Messenger.

O you who have believed, fear Allah as He should be feared, and do not die except as Muslims.

O you who have believed, fear your Lord, Who created you from one soul, and created from it a wife, and spread among them many men and women. And fear Allah in Whom you ask for help and mercy. Verily, Allah watches over you.

O you who have believed, fear Allah and say the right words. He will correct your deeds and forgive you your sins. And whosoever obeys Allah and His Messenger has certainly attained a great victory.

As for what follows, the best speech is the Book of Allah, and the best guidance is the guidance of Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him.

Looking Back at Our Previous Ramadans

Many of you have most likely heard some type of Ramadan reminder, reminding us of the importance and the virtues of the month of Ramadan, and how extra effort must be made in this month with regards to our acts of worship.

And I want you to focus today instead on us reflecting and looking back at our previous Ramadans, and how they have been for us. A moment to reflect and a moment to review how well we think our previous Ramadans have gone, and how we prepared for those months. What we did prior to those months beginning in order to prepare for them, and how that helped us, how it affected our Ramadans, whether it was something which was effective or not.

Two Extremes in Preparing for Ramadan

We may notice that there are two extremes that tend to happen when an individual is either preparing for Ramadan or getting ready for the month of Ramadan, and as a result of this, how his Ramadan ends up being.

From those, are those who think there's plenty of time left for me to prepare for Ramadan. There's still lots of time left. It's not anywhere close for me to get ready for this month. And before you know it, the month of Ramadan dawns upon us, and in terms of our preparation — and when I talk about preparation, I don't just mean physical preparation, but in fact, psychological, mental preparation for this month — being mentally prepared to take on this month, and the rewards that it brings, and the effort that it requires.

So you have those who think there's plenty of time left for Ramadan to start, until someone reminds them that actually, Ramadan is just a few days away. The first night of Ramadan may be on a Saturday, may be on a Sunday, a few days away. And so as a result of people reminding us, and us thinking it was so far away, we realize that we're not in a situation where we've prepared adequately enough. And so we enter into Ramadan unprepared.

And so as a result of this, psychologically, mentally, when Ramadan starts, we tend to think: there's not much I can do, I'm not able to do much, I can't do much, because I never prepared. I didn't expect Ramadan to start so quickly. I haven't done anything in terms of preparation. And so a person starts Ramadan not in a positive way, but in a negative way, because of the preparation — or the lack of preparation — that he made.

And then you have the other extreme, where a person may plan and prepare for Ramadan. He understands the virtues of Ramadan, and the blessings of Ramadan, and how actions and good deeds in Ramadan are multiplied so many times. And so he starts to prepare, and he wants to do things in Ramadan that he doesn't normally do, because he wants to make the most of the reward of Allah in this month.

So he promises himself he's going to pray not just the obligatory prayers on time, but he'll also pray the sunnah prayers — the 12 or 10 sunnah prayers in the day. In fact, he may even promise himself he'll pray every single Qiyamul Layl, Taraweeh prayer, and even more on top of this, Nawafil prayers. He may promise himself that even though he doesn't recite Quran on a regular basis every single day, he's going to complete the whole Quran once, twice, or maybe three times in the whole of the month. And so he has high ambitions for himself, he has high goals for himself for the month of Ramadan, and he's optimistic.

And then when Ramadan starts, because of the goals that he set for himself — which no doubt are important — but because he wasn't doing much in the first place outside of Ramadan, now that Ramadan has begun, and he set such a high standard for himself, he's not able to meet those goals and do those things he promised himself. Because it's just too much. Because it just wasn't realistic for him to achieve those goals.

And he may feel the buzz in the beginning of Ramadan, and he might rush at the beginning of Ramadan — everybody's fasting, there's this feeling in the air, there's that Ramadan atmosphere — and so he's spurred on by this buzz. And so a few days go by, a week maybe goes by, and he realizes that this is something which he can't actually keep up. He realizes that it was just too much. I never prepared adequately. I over-prepared — meaning I was too optimistic about what I myself am capable of doing.

And so when after five days, or seven days, or a few days, when he realizes he can't keep up whatever he promised himself to keep in the month of Ramadan, he ends up falling off the horse. He ends up tripping. He ends up falling. And a day or two go by where he didn't accomplish and didn't complete the goals that he set for himself. And when that happens, he becomes disheartened. He feels like now his Ramadan is wasted.

I'm never going to accomplish those goals that I set out for myself. And instead of readjusting, he ends up wasting the rest of the Ramadan that he has left over. Even though every single day is precious, because of that psychological effect that it's had on his mind — how he felt like it's just too much for me to do — it affects his state of mind. As a result of that, it affects his actions in Ramadan. And so maybe half of Ramadan, or more than half of Ramadan, or even more critically, the last ten nights of Ramadan, those end up being his worst nights, as opposed to those nights being the best nights of Ramadan.

And so you have this problem where you have these two extremes. Those who don't prepare at all, and so they think there's not much point in me doing much in Ramadan — maybe next Ramadan I'll try harder, even though he has the whole of Ramadan left for him to make an effort. And the other who tries too much, who is unrealistic about his goals and what he's capable of doing, and so he becomes disheartened. And as a result of this, his Ramadan, he feels, wasn't utilized as best as he could have.

The Example of the Prophet ﷺ in Sha'ban

When we look at the life of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, Usamah ibn Zayd, may Allah be pleased with him, said that he never saw the Messenger of Allah ﷺ fast more in any month other than Ramadan than in the month of Sha'ban. And so he asked the Messenger of Allah ﷺ about this.

(Sunan al-Nasa'i, Hadith 2357)

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: "This is a month which is neglected by people — this month between Rajab and Ramadan. And I love to fast in this month, because this is a month in which deeds are lifted up to Allah. And I like for my deeds to be lifted up while I am fasting."

So we can see that preparation was something which was important even for the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. He would fast more in Sha'ban than in any other month of the year. So this idea of preparation was key.

But we also have to understand — this was the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. There was no one who was stronger than the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, said that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ had the strength of 30 men. And so we have to understand our limits. We have to understand what we're capable of.

Something Must Change

There is nobody who understands us more than ourselves. And looking back at previous Ramadans — how we spent them, how we prepared for them, where we went wrong — a famous saying comes to mind: a person who does the same thing over and over again, expecting different results, is a crazy person. That's insanity. Something must change. Something has to change in order for this Ramadan to be different to the previous Ramadans. And preparation is something which is important.

We're only a day or two away from Ramadan. So what can we do in terms of preparation, brothers and sisters?

Understanding the Purpose of Ramadan: Taqwa

First and foremost, understanding the whole purpose of Ramadan itself. The famous ayah of Allah:

O you who believe, fasting is prescribed for you just as it was prescribed for those who came before you — لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ — so that you may attain taqwa, so that you may have piety.

And the scholars said that taqwa is putting between you and the punishment of Allah a barrier. Placing a barrier between you and the punishment of Allah. Being aware and conscious of your actions. Knowing what you're doing. Being aware of what you do and what you say in this blessed month of Ramadan.

The Last Ten Nights: Tightening the Belt

If we look at other incidents in the life of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ where the companions would observe what he would do and how he would behave — Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, she says that when the last ten nights of Ramadan would come, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 2024; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1174)

He would tighten his waistband — tighten his belt. Meaning he would make even more effort. He would try even harder. And in many cases for us, by the time the last ten nights of Ramadan come, it's almost as if we've run out of energy. That buzz of Ramadan has gone. The excitement has gone. Maybe some of us are even hoping Ramadan would just end, because it's just getting too much, our routine is just all over the place.

And so the last ten days or the last ten nights, as opposed to being nights which are the most valuable and the nights which we make the most effort, become nights which are just wasted. And even worse are those who are already disheartened, and so they end up doing fewer deeds simply because of them feeling that they haven't made the most of the month of Ramadan in the first place.

The Most Beloved Deeds to Allah

Extra effort should be made in the month of Ramadan, brothers and sisters. But at the same time, we need to be aware of what we're capable of doing. We need to be aware of our strengths and our weaknesses. We need to understand how much we're capable of doing — what we can do. We need to have goals in Ramadan, we need to have certain objectives. And the effort is there for every single one of us to do as much as we are able and capable of doing. That's inside every single one of us.

The issue isn't whether or not we can do it, but the issue is how keen and how eager and how valuable Ramadan is to us. And one of those ways of understanding and knowing how valuable Ramadan is, is a person's state of mind before Ramadan begins. The scholars of the past would prepare six months before Ramadan would start for the month of Ramadan. Knowing Ramadan was coming, they would prepare six months in advance, because they knew there is no day or month more precious than Laylatul Qadr in Ramadan and the month of Ramadan. There is nothing which is more valuable than this.

And when we look at how good deeds are things which shouldn't be done in bursts, or things which are so out of the ordinary that we know we won't be able to keep them up, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ told us about good deeds — about the most beloved deeds to Allah:

The most beloved deeds to Allah are those which are consistent, even if they are small. When a person does small deeds, small acts of worship, and is consistent with them — doing these good deeds on a regular basis — anything that you do on a regular basis every single day will eventually end up becoming a habit. Once it becomes a habit, then you're able to increase on those good deeds, you're able to increase on those actions, because you've been doing them regularly, because it's become a habit for you.

So when a person decides to do something which, even in the back of his mind, he knows he may not be capable or able to do for 30 days, then it's not going to benefit him in the long run.

Ramadan's Impact Beyond the Month

The goal and the aim, brothers and sisters, shouldn't just be the month of Ramadan, or the last ten days of Ramadan, or Laylatul Qadr. It should be the rest of the year. How will Ramadan affect the rest of my year? It's a time to reflect. It's a time to think about what am I going to change outside of the month of Ramadan? What are my weaknesses? If anything, Ramadan should make us realize: I have certain weaknesses. I'm suffering with regards to my salah. I'm suffering with regards to my recitation of the Quran. I'm suffering with regards to the way I behave and the way I treat others.

We should also understand that Ramadan is a blessed month. If you do righteous deeds in the month of Ramadan, it's not expected that you're going to do those very same deeds outside of the month of Ramadan, because the month of Ramadan is a month which is blessed. We're fasting every single day for 30 days when maybe before Ramadan we didn't even fast for the whole year. How are we able to do this? Because the month of Ramadan is a blessed month — it's unlike any other month.

We come to the masjid offering Taraweeh prayer every single day, because it's a blessed month. We recite the whole of the Qur'an in a single month — maybe a number of times. Or we recite more Qur'an in this month than in any other month combined outside of Ramadan, because it's a blessed month. And so expecting to do exactly the same after Ramadan finishes is something which can have an impact and have an effect on our ibadah after Ramadan, and it has an effect in the future when the next month of Ramadan comes.

Guarding Our Speech and Akhlaq

If we look at the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and what he said regarding how we behave — our akhlaq, our etiquette — he told us:

Whoever doesn't leave evil speech and acting upon it, Allah has no need for this person to stay away from his food and drink. Meaning, if a person has a bad habit, then that's going to affect his fasting. If a person has evil speech, evil actions, and he's fasting in the month of Ramadan, he hasn't truly understood the whole purpose of fasting in the first place.

So the way we speak — our speech — is something we should be very aware of and conscious of in the month of Ramadan. And this is why it's said that the scholars of the past were able to write down every single thing they had said in that day. By the time the end of the day came, they could write down and record everything they had said. That's how careful they were with regards to what they said and when they said it and how much they spoke in the day. They were able to write everything down. This is something I think many of us wouldn't be able to do. It's something very hard, because we speak so much. And it may be a reason for our deeds not to be accepted by Allah, because Allah has no need for our fasting and staying away from food and drink if these evil deeds are going to affect us on the Day of Judgment — and those deeds are basically wasted.

Know Your Own Abilities — Abu Huraira and Khalid ibn al-Walid

Another thing, brothers and sisters — how we observe others in Ramadan. We feel like we have to behave in exactly the same way as those around us. But every single one of us has a level of iman, a level of faith, different to the person sitting next to us. No two people are exactly the same, and every single one of us has different abilities. We're capable of different things. We have different strengths and weaknesses.

If we reflect on the companions of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and we look at the likes of Abu Huraira, may Allah be pleased with him — a very famous companion — and also Khalid ibn al-Walid. One was a narrator of hadith, narrating the most ahadith, more than any other companion. And the other was a general in the Muslim army, the commander of the Muslim army, one of the greatest generals in history, never losing a battle in his life. Both of these individuals contributed to Islam. They both did righteous deeds. But Abu Huraira wasn't known for his military strategy in battle. He wasn't known for his physical strength. He wasn't known for his bravery and courage and how smart he was in outwitting the enemy in battle, even though he participated. But that's not what he was known for. Khalid ibn al-Walid wasn't known to be a great narrator of hadith, or a beautiful reciter of the Quran, or somebody who was known to be a scholar from the companions and a teacher. Each of them, even though they're different in what they did to please Allah, both had different abilities, and they had different strengths and weaknesses.

Likewise, brothers and sisters, when you see others with certain aims, with certain goals, doing certain things in Ramadan, don't expect to copy them. Don't suffer from peer pressure, thinking: I have to show that I'm doing something in Ramadan, because if I don't, it's going to look bad. It's going to look like I'm not doing anything in Ramadan. Look at how much effort he's making, or she's making, so I need to make sure I'm doing whatever I can. Because every single one of us is different. We're all aware of what we can do and what we can't do in the month of Ramadan.

Starting small in the beginning, in the early days of Ramadan, and reaching the crescendo, reaching the peak, in the last ten days of the month of Ramadan — that should essentially be our goal. The most dangerous thing is to fall tired and become exhausted just before the finish line. That's the worst thing we can do. To fall tired, to not be able to have enough strength and energy to meet the light at the end of the tunnel. That's the worst thing that could happen to us, because now, all that effort that we've made has been lost.

Second Part of the Khutbah

We were talking about preparing for Ramadan, and how some of us tend to neglect how quickly Ramadan comes, and how quickly time passes, and so we don't prepare effectively enough. And so when Ramadan comes, we feel as if, just because we never made the preparation, there's not much we can do now that Ramadan has begun. And so it affects our Ramadan. And then the other extreme is a person thinking he can do more than what he's capable of doing, and he becomes disheartened halfway through Ramadan, or in the early stages of Ramadan, realizing that in fact he's not going to be able to keep up the pace that he's trying to keep. And so he becomes disheartened, it affects the rest of his Ramadan, and maybe all the deeds that he wanted to do and intended to do fall apart — he ends up not doing anything.

And we talked about how certain things could cause our actions to be corrupted in the month of Ramadan — for example, the way we behave with others, and the way we treat others.

The Story of Imam al-Shirazi and His Father

One of the scholars of the past, Imam al-Shirazi, he said that once, he was with his father, and at night time, they started to pray the night prayer. And when they were praying, he looked around, and nobody else was praying in the night — not one single individual was awake at night time offering the night prayer. Only them. Everybody else was sleeping. And so he said to his father: "O my father, not one single person is awake, praying and offering not even two rakahs." And so his father said to him: "O my son, it would have been better for you to have slept than to have spoken negatively of others. All that effort that you've just made, praying in the night, offering prayers to Allah — all that effort that you've made could have just been wasted, as a result of you criticizing others, mocking others."

So our speech has an effect on our actions.

Umar ibn Abd al-Aziz on Righteousness

When we look at Umar ibn Abd al-Aziz, the famous leader of the Muslims, he said that we lived in a time when we considered righteousness not as a result of fasting or as a result of prayer, but in withholding ourselves from speaking poorly of others. Because a person can spend his nights praying, a person can spend his days fasting, but they can end up becoming wasted on the Day of Judgment if he doesn't protect his tongue, if he doesn't guard his tongue.

Ibn Mas'ud: Entering Ramadan with a Pure Heart

Also, it's been said by Ibn Mas'ud, may Allah be pleased with him, when he was asked how he would welcome Ramadan and how he would prepare for it — Ibn Mas'ud, may Allah be pleased with him, said: "None of us would dare approach the month of Ramadan carrying an ounce of animosity towards anybody else." Having a clean heart. Don't let those grudges and those animosities and those issues you have with other people spill into the month of Ramadan.

Because when you meet them in Ramadan, when you speak to them in Ramadan, when you see them, when you interact with them, those feelings and those thoughts are going to come flooding back. And your thoughts will affect your actions. And if you're unhappy or you're angry or you have grudges against people, it's going to affect the way you speak to them, the way you behave.

And so from the tricks of Shaytan is that maybe a person will have issues and problems with his family, at work, with his relationships with others just before Ramadan begins. This is what Shaytan wants — so that those issues that you have right now with others, with your loved ones, with your family, with your neighbors, with your friends, they'll spill over into Ramadan. And you'll be preoccupied with other things because you never purified your heart. You never forgave those individuals who you had issues with, or they had issues with you, or you had a falling out with.

So purify your heart, brothers and sisters, before the month of Ramadan begins. Pay off any debts that you owe anybody. Forgive anyone who harmed you. Mend any relationships that have been broken.

And we ask Allah that this month of ours that we are approaching — that Allah gives us life first of all to witness this month of Ramadan, and that Allah makes this month of Ramadan, through His strength and ability and also ours, the best Ramadan that we have ever experienced.