How to Deal With Sins - Shaykh Mustafa Abu Rayyan

Opening — Khutbah al-Hajah

إِنَّ الْحَمْدَ لِلَّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِينُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنْ شُرُورِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللَّهُ فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ، وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ وَصَفِيُّهُ مِنْ خَلْقِهِ وَخَلِيلُهُ، أَرْسَلَهُ اللَّهُ إِلَى النَّاسِ كَافَّةً بَشِيرًا وَنَذِيرًا، فَبَلَّغَ الرِّسَالَةَ وَأَدَّى الْأَمَانَةَ وَنَصَحَ الْأُمَّةَ، وَتَرَكَنَا عَلَى الْمَحَجَّةِ الْبَيْضَاءِ لَيْلُهَا كَنَهَارِهَا لَا يَزِيغُ عَنْهَا إِلَّا هَالِكٌ، فَصَلَوَاتُ اللَّهِ وَسَلَامُهُ عَلَيْهِ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَأَصْحَابِهِ وَمَنِ اهْتَدَى بِهَدْيِهِ وَاسْتَنَّ بِسُنَّتِهِ وَدَعَا بِدَعْوَتِهِ إِلَى يَوْمِ الدِّينِ.

My brothers and sisters, I advise you and myself to have taqwa of Allah and to be among those who do ihsan, for indeed Allah is with those who have taqwa and those who are among the muhsineen.

Human Weakness and the Reality of Sin

My brothers and sisters, let us start by praising Allah Almighty and sending blessings and salutations upon our beloved messenger Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, when He was describing humanity, mentions that we are weak:

And many verses allude to this — that we are weak. When the scholars explain this, we are weak in many ways. Among the ways that we are weak is our inability to continuously obey Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. We always fall into sin, we often make mistakes. And insha'Allah ta'ala, what I want to speak about is: how do you deal with sins as a believer? No doubt you will sin — how should you deal with it? And I hope Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala forgives all of our sins, the minor and the major.

Step One: Acquire Knowledge of What Is Sinful

First of all, it is important that you know what is a sin and what is not a sin — what is minor and what is major — and this comes down to ilm, knowledge and education. It is no coincidence that the scholars would compile books that just discuss the kabair (major sins). Like al-Kabair of Imam al-Dhahabi — he compiled the major sins and explained what they are, how people fall into them, how to avoid them, the ahadith and the verses that speak about them. Similarly, Ibn Hajar al-Haytami has another book called al-Zawajir. So the scholars would talk about these things so that you can know what is a sin.

And many times what happens is, someone is engaged in a sin and they have no idea — someone doesn't know that this is haram. The ones that we all know, the big ones, we all know. But sometimes many people will say, "Akhi, I didn't know this was not allowed," or "I didn't know this was haram." So educate yourself on what you are supposed to stay away from. Knowing the sharr is important — we need to know what is wrong so that we can avoid it. If you don't know what is wrong from what is right, then you will definitely fall into it.

Step Two: Avoid the Major Sins

The fact of the matter is that we often fall into sin, and what we need to know is: how can we limit the amount of sins we are falling into to begin with? And how can we act accordingly after we sin? So these two are very important.

Allah gives us glad tidings — Allah says: if you avoid the major things that We have prohibited you from, We will forgive you for the smaller ones and you will enter into Paradise.

So the first step, my brothers and sisters in Allah, is to avoid the major sins. And if you want to know a good definition for what a major sin is — any sin that is connected with a punishment in this world or the next is considered a major sin. Any sin where the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said "whoever does that is cursed" is a major sin. So stay away from those — and again, it comes back to learning about them.

Step Three: Do Not Create the Environment for Sin

There are certain things that make us sin to begin with, and the first one is that we prepare ourselves the environment whereby that sin will happen — by our own doing. Anyone that fell into zina — it didn't happen immediately. There were steps that came before it. Anyone that is now involved in a haram business — it didn't happen immediately, there were steps that happened before it. So avoid creating the perfect environment for you to sin.

This is something we have to think about. Who tends to do something haram related to al-mal (wealth)? One that is either obsessed with it or in desperate need of it. Which is why the scholars would say, for example, avoid getting into many debts — because when you have many debts, you will be desperate to gain wealth and you will not consider where you are getting it from. So you need to think about what you are getting yourself into.

If your fitnah is related to the opposite gender and you work in a place where there is a lot of free mixing, then you have put yourself in that situation. You need to ensure that you do not put yourself in the environment whereby sinning becomes easy to begin with. If you have a friend that does a particular haram and when you're with them you do it as well, then you know what — you need to stop. It could be anything. Some people sin alone — the advice to them is: be with righteous people, limit the time you are by yourself. Some people sin with particular friends — avoid those friends.

This is very important to remember — that you block the pathways to the sin. Allah azzawajal says:

Do not go near zina. Because of this, the ulama say anything that leads to it is also haram — not just the zina itself. And take that as an example for all the other sins as well.

Step Four: Do Not Belittle Any Sin

The other advice, my brothers and sisters in Allah, is adam al-istighar — do not think of sin as something small. "It's just a small lie." "I just broke one promise." No. It is the mentality of belittling a sin that leads you to doing it over and over again, and that is the last thing you want.

The saghira (minor sin) — it is minor compared to the major sins, but it is still a major matter. That is why they say:

Do not look at the smallness of the sin — look at the greatness of the One you have disobeyed.

This is why the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: beware of the sins that people find small, the ones people think are not a big deal — avoid those — mainly because they will collect and collect and collect until they become like mountains. So fear Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala even in the saghira.

Step Five: Avoid al-Israr — Continuous Sinning

The other thing we must avoid, as it relates to sin, is al-israr — which is doing it continuously. That is not the way of the believer.

Now I want you to imagine two types of people. One person fell into a sin — they never planned it, it was not premeditated, they didn't think — but they fell into it, and they immediately felt bad and they repented. That is how it should be. And now think about the one who thought about doing it, who wanted to do it, did it, and felt no regret. This is the one you should not be.

And often, the people that do a sin over and over and over again — the first time they do it, they're shocked, they feel bad, they feel regret. But by the time they're at the 15th and 20th time, it becomes a regular thing. They don't even feel like they're doing something wrong. And this is what we need to avoid, because that is a sign that your heart is dying — and that is the last thing you want.

The way we should behave with sin — remember that your heart is supposed to be pure, and our sins dirty our heart. Your relationship with sin should be: when you sin, it is as if some dirt fell onto your heart and you immediately wash it off. But if you leave it, and another speck falls, and another speck, before you know it their hearts have become blackened by the sins they were doing.

This is why the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: whenever someone commits a sin, a black spot appears in their heart — but if you repent, then Allah removes it. May Allah make us among those that repent regularly.

So avoid al-israr — doing something continuously. One of the most negative consequences of sinning all the time is that you normalize it in your mind. You don't see it the way you did when you first started. Then you are someone doing israr, and this is very dangerous.

Allah speaks often about the hypocrites in the Quran, and one of the sins they would commit often was al-half al-kadhib — they would swear by Allah and lie, they would always do this. And when Allah speaks about them in the Hereafter, He says that on the Day of Judgment, when they are standing in front of Allah, they will be swearing and lying in front of the Almighty just as they would swear and lie in front of you.

If you lived doing something, you will die doing that. And if you die doing that, you will be resurrected like that. May Allah make us among those that die doing good and be resurrected doing good. There was a companion of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, who died while he was in hajj — he broke his neck and died, falling from his camel. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said he will be resurrected on the Day of Judgment reciting the talbiyah. May Allah make us those who are resurrected doing good.

Step Six: Avoid Sinning Publicly — al-Jahr bil-Ma'asi

Among the worst things one can do as it relates to sin is what is known as al-jahr bil-ma'asi — to do it publicly. And this is something a lot of people don't understand or perhaps get wrong.

You have the concept — and I am sure you have heard of it — of those who commit sin privately but in public seem pious and righteous. This is a big problem, no doubt. But the problem is not that they are not sinning publicly — the problem is that they are sinning privately and they need to fix that relationship with Allah. And to them we say: do not allow Allah to be the One you don't care about when He sees you, while you care about the people.

But some people have done the opposite and they say: "Well, that means I'd rather do it publicly than privately," or "I don't care what people think of me — if I am not obeying Allah, why should I worry about what the people think?" No — it does matter what you do publicly.

Every sin can be forgiven, can be pardoned — except those who do it publicly. Because that, on top of your sin, includes an act of shamelessness, a carelessness — and doing it publicly means you are normalizing it and others are looking at you and may now follow suit.

So, my brothers and sisters in Allah, avoid doing sins publicly. If you are someone struggling with a particular sin — let's say someone drinks alcohol, for example — for that person to do it publicly is worse than if they do it privately. It is worse because openly sinning is known as al-jahr bil-ma'asi, and the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said every sin will be forgiven except those who do it publicly. So fear Allah in that sense.

And another example of al-jahr bil-ma'asi that is perhaps not the same as the one we know is that you might have done something privately but then you boast about it — you talk about it: "Last night I did this and that," "I have stolen this," "I have done this," "I have oppressed so-and-so." Telling others is also a form of al-jahr bil-ma'asi, and you will come under the same hadith. So don't do that.

Step Seven: Rush to Repentance and Follow Sin with Good Deeds

So how should you be with your sins? First of all — when you sin, rush to the repentance of Allah. When you sin, regret it. When you sin, do something good afterwards, immediately.

The scholars give a very interesting example. They say that among the ways to win against Shaytan — because we are in a fight with the Shaytan — is that when you sin, do something good immediately afterwards. And in fact, don't do just one good thing — do many good things. Why?

Indeed, good deeds erase the bad deeds. So whenever you do something haram, immediately follow it up with a good deed. And if it can be from the same type of thing in which you sinned, then do that. For example, if you spoke badly against your mother or father, now start doing a lot of good for them. If you did something haram related to money, then start giving a lot of sadaqa. You basically cancel out the sin.

And some of the salihin said this as a tajribah — a personal experience — that when the Shaytan saw that whenever they did something bad they did so much good, he stopped prompting them to do bad, because the sin now had a positive effect — they countered it with its opposite. You sin — subhanAllah, you pray qiyam tonight. You sin — you give sadaqa. You sin — you fast on Thursday and Monday. If you have that mentality, the sin will become less and less and less. And even then, if it is a mathematical issue, you are doing more good than bad to begin with — and this should be the way of the believer.

Our Role When We See Others Sinning

I want to finish with one final point, my brothers and sisters in Allah, and that is: when we see others sinning, when we see others committing haram — what is our role?

Our role is to guide them back to the truth. Our role is to make du'a for them. Our role is to want good for them — not to spread rumors about them, not to be the judge, jury, and executioner. We should not be like that. We should advise them. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

(Sahih Muslim, Hadith 55)

We should advise one another — al-nasiha li kulli muslim — in the best way possible, and we should want good for them.

Also, we should do what is known as al-sitr — and that is, to cover up. Cover up their sins, don't expose them, don't remind them — cover it up. Wallahi, if you look at the seerah of our Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and how he was with his companions, sometimes the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, would not even make a big deal out of it.

A companion came to him and mentioned that he had committed a sin — that if I were to tell you explicitly what it was, many of you would be shocked. A companion came to him and said, "Ya Rasulallah, I have done this." And the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said to him: "Did you pray 'Asr with us?" He said yes. The Prophet said: "Good deeds erase bad deeds." And that was it.

The point I am trying to make is: the way we deal with others should be with wisdom and hikmah, with da'wah and du'a. And never be someone who spreads the sins of others and talks about them continuously — because you would not want that done to yourself.

Closing Du'a

I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to guide us all and to forgive our sins. I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to make us repent to Him regularly and often, and to seek His forgiveness. I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to make us among those who are constantly repenting — for if our Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, did it seventy times a day, we should do it at least as much.