Importance of Good Character - Shaykh Mustafa Abu Rayyan

Khutbah Opening

إِنَّ الْحَمْدَ لِلَّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِينُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنْ شُرُورِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللَّهُ فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ وَصَفِيُّهُ مِنْ خَلْقِهِ وَخَلِيلُهُ أَرْسَلَهُ اللَّهُ إِلَى النَّاسِ كَافَّةً بَشِيرًا وَنَذِيرًا فَبَلَّغَ الرِّسَالَةَ وَأَدَّى الْأَمَانَةَ وَنَصَحَ الْأُمَّةَ وَتَرَكَنَا عَلَى الْمَحَجَّةِ الْبَيْضَاءِ لَيْلُهَا كَنَهَارِهَا لَا يَزِيغُ عَنْهَا إِلَّا هَالِكٌ فَصَلَوَاتُ اللَّهِ وَسَلَامُهُ عَلَيْهِ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَأَصْحَابِهِ وَمَنِ اهْتَدَى بِهَدْيِهِ وَاسْتَنَّ بِسُنَّتِهِ وَدَعَا بِدَعْوَتِهِ إِلَى يَوْمِ الدِّينِ

My beloved brothers and sisters, I start as we always do by praising Allah and by thanking Allah and sending blessings and salutations upon our beloved messenger Muhammad ﷺ.

The Blessed Month of Ramadan

My brothers and sisters, we are in the blessed month of Ramadan and we know how time flies. Not too long ago we were saying a hundred days left for Ramadan, before we knew it Ramadan was a week out, the moon had been sighted, we started to pray taraweeh, and now the days are going by. May Allah allow us to be among those that truly benefit from this month, those whose sins are forgiven and those who are among those that are freed from the fire. Ameen.

Why do we pray? Why do we fast? Why do we give charity? Why do we attend Jumu'ah? Why do we do any of these things? It is to attain paradise. It is to attain the pleasure of Allah and go to Jannah. That's all you and I want. If we were given one wish — just one wish — each one of us would wish to be among those that are forgiven and go to Jannah.

The Two Greatest Causes of Entering Jannah

Rasulullah ﷺ, when he told us the thing that leads to Jannah the most — that which allows people entry into Jannah the most — you'd assume he would say many prayers, or fasting, or charity, or dutifulness to the parents, or a particular act of worship, or hajj. The Prophet ﷺ mentioned two things that will lead to Jannah the most for the people:

It is taqwa Allah — piety and consciousness of Allah — and husn al-khuluq — good character and good behavior. (Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2004)

My brothers and sisters, our behavior can determine where we end up — in Jannah or not. Often we are wired as Muslims and worshippers to put a lot of effort into acts of worship such as salat and fasting and recitation of the Quran and charity, but we do not pay enough attention to our behavior and to our character.

How are we with others? Are we easygoing or are we difficult people? Do we forgive, or do we never let go? Are we quick to anger and act upon our anger and have no control over our emotions? Do we cheat and do we lie? Do we deceive? Do we tell people something and then do the complete opposite? Do we break promises? What is our behavior like? How truthful are we? How honest are we? How trustworthy are we? How punctual are we? How forgiving are we? How patient are we? How grateful are we? These characteristics — you have to ensure that you are doing well in them, because that's how you go to Jannah.

And the Prophet ﷺ said in a hadith in Musnad Ahmad:

"I have been sent to perfect the best of characters, ethics, and moral values." (Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 8952)

Our deen revolves around character. The Quran heavily emphasizes character. The Prophet ﷺ said:

"The best among the believers in faith is the one who has the best character and behavior." (Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1162)

The Prophet ﷺ used to ask Allah: "Just as You have beautified me and my existence and how I look, beautify my inner self as well and my character." We have to focus on this.

Character Can Be Changed and Improved

This is not something that you are just born with and cannot change. There is no such thing as "I get angry — it's just who I am," or "I am late sometimes — I am just who I am," or "sometimes I exaggerate." No. You can change these. Allah has given us the ability to change our behavior, otherwise Allah would not hold us accountable for something we cannot change. Yes, inherently each one of us has certain characteristics that Allah has put in us, and that is either your blessing or your challenge — but it does not mean you are not going to work on yourself.

The Story of Ashaj Ibn Qais and the Delegation of Abdul Qais

There was a companion of the Prophet ﷺ — this happened in the 9th year of the Hijrah. It was a beautiful year for the Muslims because it is known as ʿĀm al-Wufūd — the Year of Delegations. The Prophet ﷺ sent out invitations and many different tribes came to the Prophet ﷺ to pledge their allegiance and accept Islam. It was a very beautiful thing at a time when Islam was at its heights.

One such delegation came — it was the tribe of Abdul Qais. They came from Bahrain. They traveled so much, eager to see the Prophet ﷺ. They traveled and traveled and traveled until they arrived in Medina. Between them and the Prophet ﷺ had been only letters, and the Prophet ﷺ had sent people that would teach them, but they had not yet met the messenger.

Most of the tribesmen — the moment they arrived in Medina, out of eagerness and love for the Prophet ﷺ — they got off their horses and their camels, while they were dusty, sweaty, and still disheveled, and ran to the masjid to see the messenger. Something many of us would probably do out of that same eagerness.

There was one man among them — Ashaj Ibn Qais. He did not do that. He tied his camel, got out of his travel clothes, went and cleaned himself and showered, put on good clothes, took his time, and when he was ready, he went to the Prophet ﷺ. The Prophet ﷺ called him over and said:

"You have two characteristics that Allah loves: forbearance and deliberation." (Sahih Muslim, Hadith 17)

Ashaj asked the Prophet ﷺ a question. He said: "Ya Rasulullah, is this something Allah has put in me — is it inherent to me — or is it something that I have earned and worked on?" The Prophet ﷺ said: "Rather, Allah has given this to you."

We learn from this that there are certain characteristics Allah gives you. If you are naturally a patient person, if you are naturally a kind person — or if you are naturally a person that is quick to anger, it goes the other way as well. Then the Prophet ﷺ in another narration mentions something really important:

"Knowledge is only gained by learning, and forbearance is only learned by practicing forbearance." (al-Mu'jam al-Awsat by al-Tabarani; also referenced in Silsilat al-Ahadith al-Sahihah, Hadith 342)

So you can practice good character. If you find yourself lacking in a particular area of your character, and you believe and understand that your character is your gateway to Jannah, then it is upon you to start working on your character. What are my flaws and how can I get better at managing them? It is not acceptable that you spend your whole life with these character flaws that are looked down upon in our deen, that you shouldn't have, and you're not working on them.

The Consequences of Poor Character

Akhlaq is such an important aspect of the deen, my brothers and sisters. It is the lack of akhlaq and character that destroys our marriages. It is the lack of akhlaq and character that destroys employment opportunities and working together. It is the lack of akhlaq that creates enmity instead of brotherhood. It is the lack of akhlaq that destroys the image of Islam. It is the lack of akhlaq and character that causes many people to be turned away from becoming Muslim — because we behave in a way unbefitting of a Muslim. And we have to change that.

We have to live up to the character of the Prophet ﷺ. Allah tells our Prophet Muhammad ﷺ:

If you were someone that was harsh, if you were someone that was difficult, if you were someone who was unapproachable, then they would have run away from you. The Prophet's ﷺ da'wah would not have succeeded — rather it would have failed — if he wasn't such a beautiful person in character. And the same goes for you. As parents, the way you treat your children matters, the way they view you matters. As wives and husbands, the way you treat each other matters.

Change your character. Work on yourself. Be truthful — don't lie. Be forgiving — don't hold on to grudges. Be easygoing, let things go. Practice taghaful. Taghaful is when you see something that is wrong and you want to address it, but you let it go. You don't nitpick. You don't be difficult. You don't assume the worst of people. You don't argue.

We have all of these things that we do on a regular basis that we shouldn't be doing. The Prophet ﷺ said:

"I guarantee a house in the middle of Jannah for the one who leaves off arguing even when he is right." (Sunan Abu Dawud, Hadith 4800)

Knowing that you can literally earn Jannah by just walking away — but no, "I have to make my point, I have to make my point." Knowing that there is so much you have to work on.

The Prophet's Praised Character

SubhanAllah, my brothers and sisters — our instinct usually is, and it's a good instinct, that we work on our salah, we work on our hajj, we go on courses on how to make our hajj, how to pray our salah, we want to learn — but we do not put enough emphasis on our akhlaq. And look how much emphasis Allah placed on it. When Allah was praising our Prophet ﷺ He said:

"Indeed you are upon a great form of character." The Prophet ﷺ had the loftiest and most amazing akhlaq, and that's why people gravitated towards him ﷺ. Do we want our da'wah to be successful? Then we need to change our behavior.

How is it acceptable, my beloved brothers and sisters — and I appreciate it's not all our fault, and sometimes there are other external circumstances, but there is some blame to go around — how is it that when we eat we leave a trail of dirt behind and we have no care in the world, and then we have the other residents of this country who aren't Muslim saying: "Look at these people — why are they littering, why are they doing this, why are they doing that?" We have to take responsibility. Why are we not taking the character of the Prophet ﷺ and living by it? Do you think the Prophet ﷺ would behave the way some of us behave — with our family, with our friends, with our businesses, with anything?

An Audit of Our Akhlaq

Let's go back to the statement earlier — that which allows people to enter Jannah the most is good behavior, is good character. If that is not enough motivation for us to start auditing ourselves and asking: "What is it that I can change about my akhlaq?" — and start working on it. Each one of us will have a list: I need to work on 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Work on it.

Remember the statement of the Prophet ﷺ — knowledge is gained by learning, and forbearance is gained by practicing. The next time someone angers you, use it as an opportunity to practice sabr. The next time you have an appointment, use it as an opportunity to be someone that is trustworthy and be there on time — if not early. The next time you make a promise, make it upon yourself that you're not going to break that promise — even if it's to your children, even if it's something as small as a sweet. Teach yourself to have the best type of character. Smile when you meet people. Give them salam — the best type of salam. Give people their rights and more. Reach out to your parents and your family members. Be someone that emanates love and care. This is, inshallah, a gate towards Jannah.

May Allah allow us to be among those. بَارَكَ اللَّهُ فِيكُمْ. الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ وَالصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ.

Second Part: Akhlaq in Ramadan and the Danger of the Tongue

My beloved brothers and sisters, as we were speaking about the concept of akhlaq — we are in the month of Ramadan, and there are certain statements made by Allah and by the Prophet ﷺ about fasting. The Prophet ﷺ specifically mentions the one who utters qawl al-zoor — that you lie, or you testify or become a witness to something you were not there for, it is easy for you to just lie — or you fall into sin. Then you have no reward for your fast.

"How many people are fasting and all they gain from their fast is thirst and hunger." (Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 1690)

So you learn here that you can damage your fast with your behavior. The Prophet ﷺ also said that if someone insults you while you're fasting, then tell them that you're fasting — say:

Say إِنِّي صَائِمٌ — do not engage. When you're fasting there is an added responsibility for you to become calmer, kinder, more humble. You're in a state of worship, so act like it.

And I want to add to that, my brothers and sisters, that among the things that we can easily change is the words that we use. Some of us — subhanAllah — we have been tested in that we insult so easily, we curse so easily, we use obscenity so easily. Control your tongue.

In that same narration where the Prophet ﷺ said the two things that allow people to go to Jannah the most — the taqwa of Allah and good character — he also said that which will lead to the Fire the most is that which is between your two lips: your tongue; and that which is between your two legs. So we know what leads to the Fire and we know what leads to Jannah. Be careful of your tongue. Ask Allah to safeguard it.

The Hadith of Mu'adh ibn Jabal

The Prophet ﷺ said to Mu'adh ibn Jabal when Mu'adh asked him a question — he said: "Will Allah hold us accountable for what we say? O Messenger of Allah — do you know how many words we say in a day? How many sentences and statements we say in a day?" The Prophet ﷺ said:

"O Mu'adh, may your mother lose you" — which is a statement to grab someone's attention — "is there anything else that throws people face-down in the Fire except the harvest of their tongues?" (Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2616)

Be careful of what you say. Be silent if you're not going to say something good. Like the Prophet ﷺ said:

"Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him say something good or be silent." (Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6018; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 47)

Like the Prophet ﷺ said: "May Allah show mercy to someone that stayed silent and was safe." When you don't speak you are not sinning — you're protected. "May Allah show mercy to someone that stayed quiet and was safe, and he who spoke and gained reward." So if you're not going to gain reward by what you say, you might as well be silent.

Closing Du'a

May Allah forgive our shortcomings. May Allah allow us to be people of good character. May Allah make us enter Jannah through our character and our piety. May Allah protect us from sin and shortcomings. May Allah be pleased with the four Caliphs — Abu Bakr, Umar, Uthman, and Ali — and the rest of the Companions and followers and those who followed them well until the Day of Judgment.

O Allah, do not separate us from this except with the gift of forgiveness and the effort of being grateful and the work of the righteous. O Allah, make us love faith and adorn it in our hearts, and make us hate disbelief, disobedience, and sin, and make us of the righteous. And our last supplication is that all praise is for Allah, Lord of the worlds. Ameen.