The Characteristic of Selflessness - Shaykh Mustafa Abu Rayyan

Khutbah Opening

Alhamdulillah, we praise Him, ask for His help, and ask for His forgiveness. And we seek refuge in Allah from the evil of our souls and from the evil of our deeds. Indeed, whoever Allah guides, none can misguide him, and whoever He misguides, none can guide him.

And I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, alone, with no partner. And I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant, and His Messenger, and pure from his creation, and His friend. Allah has sent him to all people as a bearer of glad tidings and a warner.

So he conveyed the message and fulfilled the trust, and advised the Ummah. And He left us on the white path, its night is like its day, nothing escapes it except destruction. May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him and his family and his companions, and whoever is guided by his guidance, and follows his sunnah, and calls upon his supplication until the Day of Judgment.

O you who have believed, fear Allah as He should be feared, and do not die except as Muslims.

O you people, fear your Lord, Who created you from one soul, and created from it its mate, and spread among them many men and women. And fear Allah, with whom you ask for mercy. Indeed, Allah is ever watching over you.

O you who have believed, fear Allah and say the right word. He will correct your deeds and forgive you your sins. And whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger has won a great victory.

My beloved ones, in Allah and in Islam, I advise you and myself to fear Allah and do good. Indeed, Allah is with those who fear Him and are doers of good.

The Month of Muharram — Awareness of Sacred Times

My beloved brothers and sisters, I start by praising Allah and thanking Him, for indeed Allah is worthy of our constant praise and gratitude. And I send blessings and salutations upon our beloved Messenger Muhammad, peace be upon him.

Alhamdulillah, Allah allowed us to complete another year, because we have just started a new year — the year 1447. We are in the first month of the Islamic calendar year, the month of Muharram, the month of Allah, Muharram.

And if you knew this, then alhamdulillah. If you did not know this, then perhaps this is an encouragement for you to be someone that is aware of the months and the timings that you are in, because some times are more important and more virtuous than others. And it is important that you know that you are not just consumed by the dunya, but you are concerned with your akhira.

And part of being concerned with your akhira is tracking: what time am I in? What day is it and what are the virtues? Friday is not the same as any other day. Fasting on Mondays and Thursdays is not the same as fasting any other day. And similarly, the months that Allah has chosen, that Allah has made sacred, are not the same as any other months.

And we have just entered another sacred month, the month of Allah, Muharram, where you are encouraged, my brothers and sisters, to fast more than any other month. Within Muharram, you have the day of Ashura — and I am sure in the following Friday more will be discussed about that — the day that Allah saved Prophet Musa (Moses) and his people from Fir'awn, and it is encouraged for us to fast. You need to know these dates. You need to know these timings.

You need to behave differently, just like you behave differently in the month of Ramadan, or you behave differently in the ten days of Dhul Hijjah. Similarly, when it comes to the sacred months, there has to be an element of awareness. So, insha'Allah ta'ala, focus on doing more ibadah, and try to stay away from sin even more, because you are in a sacred month.

Improving Our Character — A Yearly Obligation

My beloved brothers and sisters, the importance of ibadah is not lost on us. Each one of us here knows that we have to become better worshippers. But what we also need to focus on as Muslims is bettering our character. And every single year is an opportunity for you to change, to better yourself.

And just like it is an obligation upon you that you increase your knowledge of the deen, especially those elements that concern you — just like it is an obligation upon you to fulfill the wajibat and the obligatory acts of worship — it is an obligation upon you to improve yourself for Allah as it relates to your character. We have to constantly try and be better Muslims, not just at worship, but also how we behave.

And there has to be a part of you that is trying to track yourself. Have I gained more sabr this year, or am I actually more easily frustrated? Have I become more charitable this year? Am I improving or am I not? And you need to have an internal audit and accountability where you look at your characteristics.

And if you need an example to look for, look at the Prophet ﷺ. Because Allah sent him to be a role model for us.

Indeed, in the Messenger of Allah lies the best example. So you look at how truthful he was, and you aim to be as truthful as possible. You aim to lie less. You aim to talk less — as talking itself, if there is no benefit in it, is discouraged. And you aim to smile more. You aim to help others more. You aim to control your anger more. You aim to do these akhlaqiyyat — these characteristics — that insha'Allah ta'ala will be the reason for you to enter Jannah.

Eithar — The Quality of Selflessness

And it is one of those characteristics that I want to speak about today. And that, my brothers and sisters, is something called eithar. Eithar, which is loosely translated as selflessness. It is to be selfless as it relates to your dunya. It is to appreciate the needs of others, and a willingness to inconvenience yourself for others. A willingness to inconvenience yourself for others. This is a crucial aspect of being a Muslim — that well-developed characteristic of a believer.

Allah praised the Ansar for that very quality. Where Allah says about them:

They prefer others over themselves, even when they are in need. This is the act that you do when you need something — you clearly need it, and the other person also needs it — and then what do you do? You let the other person have it, although you are in need of it.

And this is something that will immediately come to your mind as being charitable. You clearly need your money, you need your wages, you need your savings, but so do others. So give more sadaqah. But that's not the only way it manifests itself.

Eithar as a Mindset

It is almost like a mindset. Many of us were driving to the masjid, and sometimes there is a parking spot available. You want that parking spot. Someone else on the other side wants it as well. Are you the kind of person that every single time there is a parking spot available, you take it? And every single time that you want something, you take it? And you are never the kind of person that says to himself, you know what, let this other person have it?

It's a mindset that Muslims need to have — where they are willing, yes, it may be inconvenient, maybe I need to drive a few more circles to find a spot, but they let the other person have it, as an act of worship to Allah. There is you in your car, only you and Allah knows it. You let the person in. It's a small thing, but it changes your mindset.

You are in a queue and you let a person go in front of you. And maybe you also become a little bit more aware of your surroundings — maybe they are actually more in need. It may be that you are having tea with a lot of people, and sometimes you check the urn, and there is one more cup left, and you want it, but before you pour yourself, you say: does anyone want some tea? And you give it to them first — which means, guess what, you are not going to have that last cup of tea. But that's okay, because you are practicing eithar.

It is a mindset shift where we as Muslims do not mind inconveniencing ourselves for the sake of others. It may be that you just sat down after a long day of work, and someone calls you: can you help me with something? Now, it's your time. Are you the kind of person that says, yes, I will give it up? As an act of worship to Allah, doing this increases the love between us. Doing this increases the love Allah has for us, because Allah praises the Ansar for doing exactly that.

Sadaqah and Giving From What You Love

And of course, we cannot speak about being selfless and having eithar without speaking about sadaqah. Too often, when we give charity, we give when we are comfortable. We give when we can afford it. We give sadaqah when we can afford it — first and foremost, I have to be okay, fully. And I am not going to inconvenience myself, but whatever is left I can give. But Allah says in the Quran, and we need to pay attention to our Creator when He speaks to us:

You do not reach the pinnacle of righteousness — you do not reach al-birr — until you give from that which you love. When you have an attachment to what you are giving, but you give it anyway, hoping to gain Allah's pleasure. That's where we need to get to, insha'Allah ta'ala.

The Story Behind the Verse — The Ansar's Selflessness

And let me share with you the context behind that same ayah I mentioned earlier:

Some of the scholars say this verse had a specific reason of revelation. There was an incident that happened during the time of the Prophet ﷺ where a man came and asked for support — financial support. He was hungry and needed to be fed. And the Prophet ﷺ immediately took the initiative. He sent word to his homes to find if there was anything that could be given to him. And his wives — the mothers of the believers — replied: "Ya Rasulullah, by Allah, by the One who sent you, there is nothing in our homes but water."

And I want to pause here first, before I continue with the story. I want you to think about your house. I want you to think about what you have. The ease by which you find food. Our fridges, alhamdulillah, are stocked. We can go to any shop and buy what we need — alhamdulillah, Allah has blessed us. And here we have our Prophet ﷺ, and all they have is water. All they have is water.

So appreciate the many blessings Allah has given you. And I understand many of us go through struggles. The cost of living is getting higher and higher. It's not as easy to pay rent. It's not as easy to purchase things. But, that being said, alhamdulillah, many of us are okay. And when was the last time you had to say, there's nothing to eat in my house except tap water? And if you've never had to say that, say alhamdulillah. And even if you did, you would still say alhamdulillah.

So now the Prophet ﷺ cannot help this person. What does he do? He goes back to his companions and says: "Which one among you will host him? Which one among you will take care of him?" Look at the Prophet ﷺ first taking the initiative himself — and when he realized that he could not help him, he offered the opportunity to the sahabah, the companions.

This also tells you something interesting. When it comes to acts of worship and gaining reward, you have to have an element of eagerness — you do it first. If there's an opportunity to do khair, you do it first.

After the Prophet ﷺ could not help him, one companion stepped forward and said: "Ya Rasulullah, I will host him. I will take care of him." He took him to his house and spoke to his wife. Look at their conversation — they have a guest now. He goes to his wife and tells her: we need to feed this man tonight and take care of him. And she said: "There is not enough food for even you and me. I only have enough food tonight for our children."

So he said to his wife: keep the children busy and put them to sleep. Whatever food you prepared for them, let's give it to him instead. They were willing not only to inconvenience themselves, but their children. And this is a very key point I want to make here: selflessness does not mean self-harm. You do not go out of your way to give to people to the point where it harms you and causes you major problems. But you do go out of your way and you are willing to inconvenience yourself.

The children weren't going to die from hunger. But they would be very inconvenienced. They would be agitated. But let them be agitated. Let them be put to sleep. And we will feed this man instead.

And then there was something else they were concerned about — how will he feel when he realizes he is the only one eating, and we are just sitting there? So they had to think about how to make sure he doesn't feel too bad. SubhanAllah. So they said: we will pretend to be eating as well. We will take some plates. We will pretend to be eating so that he doesn't feel bad.

And then he left, having eaten. And the following day, the Prophet ﷺ said to this companion that Allah was amazed by what you and your wife did last night. And Allah revealed:

They prefer others over themselves, even when they are in need themselves.

Let us all take this characteristic of eithar and apply it to our lives. And be willing to be in inconvenient positions for the sake of others. And may Allah allow us to be among those that through their akhlaq and character enter Jannah.

أَقُولُ قَوْلِي هَذَا وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللهَ لِي وَلَكُمْ وَلِسَائِرِ الْمُسْلِمِينَ فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهُ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ

Second Khutbah — Preferring Allah Over Yourself

الحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله.

My beloved brothers and sisters, we cannot speak about eithar without speaking about the most crucial aspect of it. And that is that you prefer Allah over yourself. And what Allah wants over what you want. And this is very important — more important even than what we spoke about earlier.

Allah wants you to fulfill certain obligations. And it may be that your nafs and your desires don't want to do that. So you must gain this quality where, whenever what you want or what you desire is not in line with what our Creator wants from us, you prefer Allah over yourself. If you have that mentality, then you'll have the right priority, and this will insha'Allah make it easier for you to be selfless with Allah's creation as well.

Closing — The Qualities of a Believer

In the end of the day, my beloved brothers and sisters, the message here is very simple. There are certain qualities and characteristics that make up a good Muslim — and there is a long list of those. That includes gentleness and kindness. That includes smiling and aiding others. That includes controlling your anger. That includes forgiving those who wrong you. That includes so many things. It is these characteristics that make up what is known as akhlaq al-Muslim — the qualities of a believer.

And the more you have these, the likelihood that you will be among those that enter Jannah. Because that which allows people to enter Jannah the most is their behavior and character. And it is a command from Allah and a command from His Prophet ﷺ that we have the best character possible, and that we work on it.

So when you hear about bravery, generosity, selflessness — these are things you need to start assessing yourself on. And you need to start thinking: how can I be selfless today? How can I be generous today? How can I be as truthful as possible today? How can I be forgiving today? And then you build on that like a Muslim. And you make it stronger.

May Allah allow us to be among those that have good character and that live by it. May Allah love us with faith, and beautify our hearts, and make us hate disbelief and disobedience, and make us among the righteous. May Allah make us among the righteous. May Allah make the best of our lives the end of it, and the best of our deeds the last of them, and the best of our days the day when we meet Him. And the end of our supplications is that all praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds.