Keeping the Ties of Kinship - Shaykh Zakaullah Saleem

Khutbah Opening

أَمَّا بَعْدُ، فَإِنَّ خَيْرَ الْحَدِيثِ كِتَابُ اللَّهِ وَخَيْرَ الْهَدْيِ هَدْيُ مُحَمَّدٍ صَلَّى اللَّهُ تَعَالَى عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَشَرَّ الْأُمُورِ مُحْدَثَاتُهَا وَكُلَّ مُحْدَثَةٍ بِدْعَةٌ وَكُلَّ بِدْعَةٍ ضَلَالَةٌ وَكُلَّ ضَلَالَةٍ فِي النَّارِ

The Blessed Month of Ramadan: A Time for Reflection

My dear respected brothers and sisters in Islam, as we are getting closer to the end of this blessed month — the month of Ramadan — and we have tried and we are still trying our best to please Allah Dhul Jalal Ikram in order to seek his forgiveness, so that Allah Dhul Jalal Ikram forgives our sins and our mistakes and our errors. We ask Allah Dhul Jalal Ikram that Allah accept all the good deeds that we have performed so far and may Allah enable us to continue with those good deeds and those good actions.

As we go closer to the end of this month, we need to ponder and reflect on our actions — how good we have done so far in relation to fulfilling the rights of our creator, our Lord, Allah Dhul Jalal Ikram, as well as the rights of the creation. We need to ponder on this. We need to ask ourselves: have we fulfilled the rights of others? Have we fulfilled our responsibilities towards others — our relatives, our neighbours? And when we say relatives, first and foremost, our own parents — have we fulfilled their rights?

If not, we still have the time to rectify our mistakes. We still have the time to ask Allah Dhul Jalal Ikram for his forgiveness. We never know — this day, today, the day of Friday, might be the last day, the last Friday of this blessed month. And we never know whether this is going to be the last Friday within the month of Ramadan in our life as well. So we need to take this opportunity to look at our mistakes and our errors, and especially when it comes to fulfilling the responsibilities towards others — and especially our relatives.

Keeping Ties of Kinship: A Pillar of Good Character

This is one of the biggest chapters that comes under the akhlaq and the mannerism that our Nabi ﷺ has taught us, when he ﷺ said:

(Musnad al-Bazzar; also reported in al-Bayhaqi, Shu'ab al-Iman, Hadith 7601)

"I have been sent to perfect the highest levels of akhlaq and mannerism." You cannot be a person of good akhlaq and good manner if you do not have a strong relationship with your relatives. If you have cut the ties with your kinship, then you are not a person of good akhlaq and good manner, and you are not truly the true follower of your Nabi ﷺ.

Quranic Evidence for Keeping Family Ties

My dear respected brothers and sisters in Islam, after fulfilling the rights of Allah, and in fact along with fulfilling the rights of Allah, we have to fulfill the rights of our relatives. This is something that Allah never changed in any shari'ah — in the shari'ah of Muhammad ﷺ and also in the previous shari'ah as well.

As Allah says in Surah al-Baqarah — and remember when we took the covenant from Bani Isra'il, from the people who were before you. We took the covenant from them and we said: you will never worship except Allah alone, and after the worship of Allah, the biggest duty you have is that you must be kind and gentle and dutiful towards your parents, and after the parents, your other relatives, and then comes the number in the list for the orphans and the needy and the masakeen, and then Allah says: and say good to the people. And then after mentioning all these, then Allah said: establish the prayer and give in charity, give zakah.

So after the worship of Allah, we have the rights, we have the responsibilities towards our relatives. Allah has ordered us in Surah an-Nisa:

O servants of Allah, worship Allah alone and do not associate any partners, anything with him, and then he said: and be dutiful towards your parents, and be dutiful towards your own relatives — relatives other than your parents as well.

The Promise of Paradise for Those Who Keep Ties — Surah ar-Ra'd

And then Allah says in very strong words in Surah ar-Ra'd, Surah number 13, ayah 21 all the way up to ayah 26:

Those who join what Allah has ordered to be joined — they connect themselves with their relatives, they join the relationship with their relatives, because this is what Allah has ordered them — those who do this and they fear their Lord and they also fear the evil reckoning. And then Allah says in the following ayah: and those who stay patient in order to seek the pleasure of their Lord, and then they spend from what we have provided them secretly and openly, and they repel and defend the good and they defend the evil with the good — they are the ones who will have the good ending.

And then in the following ayah, Allah says they will enter into paradise — they will enter into paradise — and their fathers, their forefathers, they will also enter along with them amongst those who are righteous. They will enter into paradise all together, and their offspring, and their spouses. And then Allah says: and the angels will enter upon them from all the gates of paradise. And angels will say: peace be upon you, all the people of paradise, all the people who joined with the relatives, those who kept the ties with the kinship — peace be upon you.

And then pay attention to the next verse: peace be upon you because of what you showed your patience in the dunya. Keeping good ties with kinship — it is not easy, and it is not possible without having patience. You have to have great sabr. Peace be upon you because of what you showed your patience.

The Warning for Those Who Sever Ties

And then in the next ayah, Allah warns and Allah says:

As for those who sever the covenant of Allah and they cut the relation with those that Allah has ordered to join the relationship — they cut the relationship with their kinship — and because of this, because of cutting the relations with their kinship, they cause mischief in the land of Allah. And in fact they are the biggest mischievous, they are the biggest criminals who cause the mischief in the land of Allah through cutting the relationship with their relatives. They are the ones upon whom Allah sends his curse, and they will have an evil ending.

The Hadith of the Womb (ar-Rahim)

These are the verses of the Quran, my dear brothers and sisters in Islam. Keeping good ties with kinship is one of the biggest obligations that we have as a Muslim upon us. And in order to keep ties with kinship, you cannot bring and you cannot create any excuse, because you are the follower and you are the believer in Muhammad ﷺ who was sent with the best akhlaq.

It is easy, my dear brothers and sisters in Islam, to claim that you love Muhammad ﷺ, but to prove your claim through your actions is not easy. You have to have great patience.

The Prophet ﷺ said: whosoever truly believes in Allah and truly believes in the day of judgment, and he believes within his heart that one day he will be held to an account before Allah on the day of judgment, he will be questioned, he will be held to an account before Allah — whoever has this belief within his heart, then he must join his relationship with his kinship.

The Prophet ﷺ also said in a hadith reported by Sayyiduna Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), reported by Imam al-Bukhari and Imam Muslim:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 5987; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2554)

Allah created the creation. When Allah finished the creation, the womb — the word in Arabic language for keeping the ties with kinship is الرَّحِم (ar-Rahim) — and the word rahim literally means womb, because when you have your relationship with others, you are all connected to one womb of the mother. So the Prophet ﷺ says: the womb stood up and said, "Oh Allah, oh my Lord, I seek refuge with you from the one who cuts me." Allah said: "Yes, you are right. Would you not be pleased if I promise that I will join and I will keep good relation with the one who keeps good relation with you, and I will cut off the one who cuts you off?" And then the Prophet ﷺ said: the rahim, the womb, said: "Why not, oh Allah, oh my Lord." Allah said: "Then this is my promise to you — whoever keeps good relation with you, I will keep my good relation with him and with her; and whoever cuts you off, I will cut him off from my mercy."

And then the Prophet ﷺ said: "Oh slaves of Allah, oh servants of Allah, read if you want the ayat of the Quran" — referring to the statement of Allah Dhul Jalal Ikram in Surah Muhammad:

Is this the case — that if you are given any authority in the land, you will cause the mischief in the land of Allah by cutting the relations with your kinship? They are the ones upon whom Allah has sent his curse. And the curse of Allah means that the person is deprived and thrown away from the mercy of Allah. Allah has cursed them to the extent that Allah has made their ears to be deaf. They have become deaf. They read, they listen to the ayat of the Quran. They listen to the ahadith of Rasulullah ﷺ. They are reminded of the ayat of the Quran. They are reminded of the ahadith of Rasulullah ﷺ. Yet they are deaf. And Allah, due to his curse, has made their eyes turned blind. Although they read these ayat in the Quran, these ayat have no impact on their hearts, and they do not realize their mistakes and their errors and their sins.

The Word ar-Rahim Derives from a Beautiful Name of Allah

The Prophet ﷺ also said in a hadith reported by Imam al-Bukhari:

The word Rahim — these three letters — the Prophet ﷺ said the word Rahim is derived from the beautiful name of Allah, ar-Rahman — the Most Merciful. Because this word is derived from the beautiful name of Allah, that is why Allah said: whoever keeps good relation with you, whoever joins you — I will join him with my mercy; and whoever cuts you off, I will cut him off from my mercy. This is the promise of Allah.

The Story of the Companion Whose Relatives Were Unkind

A man came to the Prophet ﷺ — and listen to this hadith very, very carefully, my dear brothers and sisters in Islam, and then make the decision for yourself and judge yourself. The hadith is reported by Imam Muslim on the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him). He says a person came to the Prophet ﷺ and he said: "Oh Messenger of Allah ﷺ, I have my relatives. I try my best to keep my good relation with them but they always cut relation with me. I have such bad relatives — I always join my relationship with them but they always cut off. And I try my best to be kind and gentle towards them but they are always bad to me. And I stay calm and humble towards them when I treat them, and they are foolish to me."

(Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2558)

The Prophet ﷺ said: "If you are as you have said, then it is as if you are throwing hot ashes on their faces." This is the expression in Arabic language — which means that through your actions, through your good akhlaq, through your sabr and patience and your humbleness, through your actions and your akhlaq, you are humiliating them anyway. So you do not need to do anything extra — continue doing this. And then the Prophet ﷺ said: "And remember, a supporting angel will be appointed with you as long as you continue doing this." SubhanAllah.

This is the akhlaq, this is the akhlaq of your Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. As he said at the beginning: it is easy to claim that we love Muhammad ﷺ, but to prove through our akhlaq that we truly love him ﷺ is not easy. But this is the level of akhlaq, this is the level of ethics and mannerism that your Prophet ﷺ has taught you.

The True "Wasil" — The True Connector of Ties

The Prophet ﷺ said to his companion: "If you want to be a person of good akhlaq and best akhlaq, then join your relationship with those relatives who cut you off. This is the best akhlaq. And give to the one who does not give you anything. And pardon those who oppress you."

The Prophet ﷺ also said in a hadith reported by 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'As (may Allah be pleased with him):

The true, in reality, the person who joins his relationship with his kinship truly — the true wasil, the true joiner and connector — is not the person who keeps good relation with his kinship with his relatives because his relatives are also good to him. He is not a wasil, he is not truly the person that Allah wants. The true wasil in reality, the person of best akhlaq, the one who truly joins his relationship with his relatives, is the one that when his relatives cut relation with him, he tries his best to join his relationship with them.

Closing the First Part of the Khutbah

My dear brothers and sisters in Islam, there are many other ahadith of Rasulullah ﷺ that encourage us and order us to have and to keep good ties with our kinship. As we are getting closer to the end of this blessed month of Ramadan, we have heard the hadith of Rasulullah ﷺ so many times — curse of Allah be upon the one who witnesses the month of Ramadan yet he does not get his sins forgiven by Allah the Most Merciful, the Most Forgiving. Curse be upon such an individual.

May Allah allow us to seek his forgiveness by keeping our good ties with our relatives, and may Allah give us tawfiq and ability to show our great patience when we treat our relatives, when we deal with our relatives. إِنَّهُ سَمِيعٌ قَرِيبٌ مُجِيبٌ

Second Part of the Khutbah

My dear respected brothers and sisters in Islam, the Prophet ﷺ said:

The one who cuts his relationship with his relatives will not enter paradise. In the month of Ramadan, if you have any problem with your relatives — now it is the time to make up with them, reconcile with them, forget all the problems, forget all the oppression, forget all the evils that they have done to you. Forgive them for the sake of Allah, with the intention that if you forgive them, Allah will forgive you:

But if you do not do so, then listen to the hadith of Rasulullah ﷺ. He ﷺ said in an authentic hadith reported by Imam al-Bukhari on the authority of Sayyiduna Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him):

(Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2565; also reported in Sunan Abu Dawud, Hadith 4916)

The deeds of the slaves of Allah are presented to Allah every Monday and every Thursday. The Prophet ﷺ says: when the deeds are presented to Allah every Monday and Thursday, Allah looks at the good deeds of his slaves and servants and Allah forgives everyone — except two types of people: except the one who has associated partners with Allah, the one who has committed shirk, and the second person is the one who has a problem between him and his brother, the one who has malice and hatred towards his brother, his fellow Muslim brother. And this is general — as for the relatives, they have more right than any other fellow Muslim brother and sister.

Allah says, as the Prophet ﷺ said: when the good deeds and the good actions are presented to Allah, Allah forgives everyone except these two types of people, and then Allah says: "Leave — postpone their deeds until they make up."

My dear brothers and sisters in Islam, if you truly want that Allah forgives your sins within this month of Ramadan, then before your good deeds are presented to Allah this coming Monday — make up with your relatives, make up with your relatives, reconcile with them, forgive them — solely, only for the sake of Allah. Forgive them. And this is the great patience that our Nabi ﷺ has taught us.

Keeping Ties Expands Provision and Prolongs Life

The Prophet ﷺ said — and I conclude with this final hadith of Rasulullah ﷺ:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 5986; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2557)

Whoever loves and desires that Allah expands his provision, his rizq — and who amongst us does not want that Allah expands and widens and broadens his provision? Everyone of us has this desire — whoever loves and desires that Allah expands his provision, and he also loves that Allah prolongs his life in good, and also means that he loves that after he has left this dunya, people remember him in good words — whoever wants these two things, then let him join his relationship with his kinship and with his relatives.

Closing Du'a

May Allah give us tawfiq and ability to rectify our mistakes, and may Allah enable us to show and manifest our best akhlaq — the akhlaq that our Nabi ﷺ has taught us. And may Allah forgive our sins, and may Allah allow us to continue with all the good deeds that we have started within this month of Ramadan, and may Allah accept our deeds.