Deen vs Culture | Jumuah Khutbah | Ustadh Mohamad Baajour

Community Announcements

Second, we all heard about the detention of our brother Marwan Maroof. He was taken unjustly and he is detained in one of the worst facilities on earth. So please keep him and his family in your du'a. We ask Allah to get him out safe and get him out very soon. Ameen.

Sister Zahida Begum, she's very sick. Also we have brother that was just notified that he has cancer. He's asking to make du'a for him. And brother Nadeem Khan has a surgery this week. We ask Allah to give them complete shifa. We ask Allah the Great, the Lord of the Great Throne to heal them. We ask Allah the Great, the Lord of the Great Throne to heal them.

Also the uncle of Dr. Chaudry passed away and sister Sarah Beg also passed away in Canada. We ask Allah to forgive their sins. We ask Allah to give them the highest place in Jannah and we ask Allah to give patience to the family.

Deen vs Culture

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته.

So please you could just give up the dunya for half an hour. Allah said in the Quran:

And when the kuffar of Quraysh, they are told, come to what Allah has revealed, come to the message of Muhammad ﷺ. They say, حسبنا, it is sufficient for us what we found our parents, our forefathers following. This is sufficient for us. Even though their parents, their forefathers have no knowledge, and they have no guidance.

These are people who saw Muhammad ﷺ. These are people who heard the da'wah from his mouth. Now, here we are criticizing the kuffar of Quraysh. And we ourselves fall prey to the same trap. We criticize them, and we fall in the same trap.

The Root of the Problem

The majority of time, people reject the deen because it clashes with the culture that they follow. They reject the deen because it clashes on what they grew up, used to. Just because everybody in our culture have accepted something as ethical or moral, and the Qur'an clashes with that, then the person is in a dilemma. Should I follow what the people are saying and displease Allah? Or should I follow what Allah has ordered and displease so many people?

Well, my brothers and sisters, the choice is very clear. We choose what Allah ordered.

All these people, please listen carefully. Wallahi, I'm talking from a boiling heart of what I see in my office, of problems that can be avoided just because of the culture. It is ruining homes. It is ruining dunya. It is ruining akhirah.

The Reality of the Day of Judgment

Do not worry about the people. Worry about the only one that decides who go to jannah and forbid someone from going to the hellfire. Obey مالك يوم الدين. He's the only malik on that day. Don't worry about these people. These people that you're worried about, what are they going to say about me? What are they going to say about us if we do this? They're not gonna remember you on the day of judgment. They're not gonna know you on the day of judgment.

Listen carefully. The best of creation, the best of creation, which are the messengers. The messengers of Allah. The men who has been chosen by Allah on the day of judgment. They will say, نفسي نفسي. Ibrahim alayhi salam. Ibrahim كان أمة. He's a nation by himself. The father of the messengers. The one we make du'a every single day in our tahiyyat. He will say, نفسي نفسي. Ibrahim alayhi salam. Ibrahim that passed every single test. He will say, myself, myself. I don't know no one.

And you're worried about your cousin? And you're worried about your clan and your tribe?

On that day, people will flee from their brothers, from their parents. Mama, I'm sorry. I can't. يوم يجعل الولدان شيباً A day that will make the young boys go white.

And you're worried about what they're going to say? If you have to choose, you only choose what Allah is pleased with.

When Culture is Acceptable

The culture and the urf can be used and there's nothing wrong with it only when it does not contradict with our deen. When it does not contradict with the deen, أهلاً وسهلاً. Welcome. There's nothing wrong. But when it clashes with the deen, immediately, without a speck of doubt, I follow what Allah has ordered.

Examples from Real Life

One time, I was giving a talk in New York 15 years ago. And the topic of marrying your cousin came. And I mentioned that in Islam, you're allowed to marry your cousin. And then I heard one sister from the sister's side saying, Eww! I said, Sister, why? She said, I am a born Muslim, and in my culture, in our culture, this is a taboo, this is strictly forbidden.

Imagine that every Muslim will follow their culture over the deen. So what is Islam about? Where is the unity of this ummah? If everybody say, you know what, I will go with my culture, you go with your culture. You can, when it does not clash with the deen. But when it clashes with the deen, you don't want to marry your cousin, this is no problem at all. You don't have to. But you cannot say, Eww or disgusting. No, no, no. Allah permitted it. Alhamdulillah. Whatever Allah says is halal, it is halal.

Oh, this is America. We cannot do that. I cannot marry my cousin. Allah said in Surah Al-Ankabut, My land, oh my ibad, if you are a abd, open up your ears. My ibad, my land is vast, is huge. So worship me.

What does that mean? It means wherever you are, Islam is not restricted to a certain time or to a certain place. Rules made by man, man-made rules, they change, they expire. But Allah's rules are valid till the day of judgment. So I cannot use the excuse, my culture, my country, my tribe, my people.

Cultural Practices That Contradict Islam

There are cultures, where the bride pays the mahr. The bride, she pays the mahr to the groom. How can I accept that? Oh, but this is our culture. No! No! I am a Muslim, and I want to apply Islam. The mahr is an obligation upon the husband, upon the man, no matter where I am.

In our funerals, in our burial, go to Restland cemetery. We have a section for Muslims. SubhanAllah. On the ground, ayat of Allah, ayat of the Qur'an, people are stepping on, إنا لله وإنا إليه راجعون إنا لله وإنا إليه راجعون is a part of an ayah in Surah Al-Baqarah. People are stepping on the Qur'an. People have pictures of their spouses on the ground. This is against sharia, no matter what. I don't do it.

SubhanAllah, in the same cemetery, the graves of the non-Muslims are closer to sharia than the graves of the Muslims.

What about the roses? Two dozen, three dozens of roses, 50, 40 dollars each. Where did you get this from? In which deen it says that? In which hadith Rasulullah ﷺ said, make sure you put red roses, not blue. Red roses on your deceased. Where did you get this from?

The money that you spent on these roses, which does not exist in our sharia, go dig a well for your father. Dig a well for your mother. Give them to an orphan. Because Rasulullah ﷺ told us that three things will get to the deceased, and flowers is not one of them. But he told us that if I help an orphan, if I help a widow, if I dig a well, all that, subhanAllah, will get to my father, to my mother, to my son. And I do things that has nothing to do with the sharia, just because of the culture.

How about the culture of greetings? In many cultures, especially in my culture, the women and the men, not only salam, hugs and kisses. A woman is hugging and kissing a non-mahram man. And in the rest of the cultures, it's very easy to shake the hand of a non-mahram. Rasulullah ﷺ said, I would rather have an axe cut into my head than touch the hand of a non-mahram woman.

Allahu Akbar. And we, because of the culture, what they're gonna say? She is my cousin. We usually hug all the time, and now I'm married, I cannot change. No, ya akhi. You're not supposed to hug from the beginning. Especially the cousin.

The Completeness of Our Deen

My brothers and sisters, Allah said:

Our deen is complete. It's perfect, perfect. And Allah said, this is the deen I chose for you to follow. So do not add just because of culture, or because you're worried what people are going to say.

Because when you ask people, why are you doing this? This is not from sharia. They say a very famous statement. Shaykh, everyone is doing it. Everyone is doing it. Since when? When many people do something, it changes the status of something, from haram to halal, or from halal to haram.

As a matter of fact, listen up, Surah Al-An'am, Allah said exactly the opposite:

Allahu Akbar. And if you obey the majority of people on earth, they will take you away, away from the path of Allah. So when you give the excuse, the majority is doing it, that's exactly what Allah said, do not obey the majority. أكثرهم لا يؤمنون، أكثرهم لا يشكرون The majority are not believers. So it's not a valid excuse.

We have the best and the only deen. We stick to it, you will be happy in the dunya and in the akhira.

Second Khutbah

Ya akhi, brother, every week you do the same thing. Rasulullah ﷺ saw somebody doing this, he told him sit down. You cannot cross the people and come sit down. Whatever you feel in the space, you sit down in it.

Wedding Culture Problems

Then we come to our weddings. Have you seen our weddings? Culture has dominated over the deen. You see in some culture they read the Fatiha. Okay, alhamdulillah. After the Fatiha, no nikah, no kitab, the boy and the girl they go out alone. Alone with each other, holding hands, texting each other.

Ya akhi, that girl that you're texting and holding hands and going alone with, she is to you just like I am to her. Complete stranger. Until the nikah is done. Before that, she is as stranger as the next guy.

Then we come to the weddings. Lately the youth themselves, the boy and the girl, they wanna get married. They are asking, Baba, Mama, please, I don't want an extravagant wedding. Please. Why you want me to do a wedding, $60,000 for 3 hours. $20,000 an hour. And wallahi ya shaykh, I do not have it. But my mom is going to be very upset.

When Culture Conflicts with Our Faith

And she told me, "What are they going to say about us, if we do not make an extravagant wedding. Your cousin did this. Your other cousin did it over there. And it was hundreds of thousands. What are they going to say about us?"

Imagine putting my son that I love so much, in hardship to please people, whom we all know, there is no wedding that is safe from their tongue. You do an extravagant wedding. "Did you see how extravagant the wedding was?" You do a cheap wedding. "Did you see how cheap the wedding was?" You will never be safe. So why don't you please Allah, يا أخي?

The Problems in Our Wedding Celebrations

Plus, what's happening in the weddings? The mixing of the men and the women, sitting on the next table, on the same table. Do you know how sick the guy that you're sitting with? Do you know what he's thinking when he's looking at your wife? Why? Why you cannot separate for 2 hours? This is how much you love your wife? Let the sisters be alone, and the brothers be alone.

How could you start your son's or daughter's new life by disobeying Allah? How? And you expect barakah in that marriage? Ya Allah, I'm starting my daughter's life by disobeying You. And we wonder, what's all this divorce? You started by disobeying Allah.

You can separate, but "this is our culture." In our culture, the men and the women, they all mix. And we all dance. You dance with my wife. I dance with your wife. This is the way it goes. I dance with my cousin. She's my cousin. We grew up together. سبحان الله.

Imagine the brother going into a debt with ribah. Debt with ribah. To do something that he does not want. Just to please his parents. He said, "Sheikh والله, I don't have it." "Wallahi, if you don't do it, I am not your mother and you do not know me." إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ. لا حول ولا قوة إلا بالله.

Would the Prophet ﷺ Approve?

Let me ask you a question. Would Rasulullah ﷺ attend that wedding? Would he stand in front of everyone and say:

Would he make dua for the couple? If a sahabi had two dollars, two dinars of debt, he said, "Pray on your brother." He will come to a wedding that, one brother told me, that the groom or the father of the groom said, "You can bring alcohol but make sure nobody sees you." Ya Allah. أم الخبائث. The mother of all sins. "Yeah, let them have fun, it's once. Once in a lifetime." Who said that you can disobey Allah once in a lifetime?

Let me ask you a question. What if your life ended in that wedding? Is that a good end? While you're dancing on the stage with a stranger?

You see the sisters come with all their zina. الحمد لله. If they wanna sit down with the sisters alone, let them dress up, it's a good occasion. But to dress up with all their zina and be displayed to strange men, والله يا إخوان, this is not our deen. This is not our deen. We're making the culture dominate over our deen. And the most beautiful thing is to follow the deen.

Living Arrangements After Marriage

Then we have the living arrangement. "You got married, you have to live with us the first six months or first year. Because the culture says so."

Big disclaimer. If your parents need you, if your parents are sick and they need daily your help, then you tell your wife before she get married, "I will never leave my parents, these are my parents." But I'm talking about the parents that are healthy. They both have jobs. But they tell their son, "Listen, I lived with my in-laws, you have to live with us."

And والله, I'm standing here and I'm swearing by Allah. If you ask me, "Sheikh, what is the main reason for divorce in our community?" 70% in-laws.

Wake up, in-laws. This is the daughter of someone. Would you accept that your own daughter, she wants to feel that she got married, even if it was one bedroom apartment. And if the husband, if the son can afford it, I'm not saying put him into debt and all. No, no, he can afford it. And he will take care of his parents. And he has many brothers that can take care of the parents. And still he has to live.

والله, the problems that take place between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law, for this six months, for this year, no time limit will fix it. Miserable, miserable. And the daughter-in-law is trying her best. And I ask you, my sister, the daughter-in-law, please, be kind, this is the mother of your husband. Treat her with respect and honor and do your best. She says, "والله, even if I do my best, two queens cannot be in the same castle."

والله, I'm telling you from experience of what's happening in that room. If they can afford it and live alone.

And on top of all of that, سبحان الله, sister got married and she accepted the terms. She loved the guy and said, she said, "Sheikh, it's a motel. I'm here with my husband, his brother with his wife next door, his sister with her husband next door. All of us living in one household. Sheikh, 24-7, my hijab on. Is this what she got married for? Is this what she got married for? Is this what she's looking for?"

How come you want your daughter to have her own apartments and your daughter-in-law to live with you?

Again, I repeat, because I don't want anybody to take it out. If your parents need you, and you're the only one who can take care of them, you leave the whole dunya for your parents. But when they just say, "this is our culture, you have to follow the same thing." For no valid reason whatsoever. والله, you are ruining marriages. You are causing divorce.

Closing Du'as

May Allah make us understand our deen. May Allah سبحانه وتعالى give us the understanding, the proper understanding of our deen. May Allah سبحانه وتعالى give us tawfiq to what pleases Him. May Allah forgive us our sins and our transgressions in our affairs. May Allah make us steadfast. May Allah grant us victory over the disbelieving people. May Allah grant us from our spouses and our progeny the pleasure of seeing. May Allah make us leaders for the righteous. May Allah grant us victory over our brothers in Gaza. May Allah take away our weak brothers in every place. May Allah give us good in this world and good in the hereafter. May Allah protect us from the torment of hellfire.

Our Lord, do not hurt our hearts after You have guided us. Grant us mercy from Yourself. You are the Bestower. May Allah send blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions.

Announcements

إن شاء الله this coming Friday I will be giving the khutbah at Thrive Summit. Thrive Summit is a Muslim owned, Muslim owners, businesses, entrepreneurs. They are having the summit all of them together. They are coming in one place. You could ask or check online where is the summit taking place. And I will be giving the khutbah there next week.

Second, from the board, from the security and from myself, please, please do not engage with the people on the street. Many people are going there and they are not well equipped when they speak. And when they get stuck, they start using foul language. Muslims, this is not us. Leave them alone, يا أخي. Leave them alone and إن شاء الله تعالى we are doing something that will take care of them.

جزاكم الله خير. السلام عليكم.