Allah Speaks With Regards To Marriage ️

If a woman fears that her husband might have cheated on her — nushuz — or something less than that. Maybe the husband is just neglecting her rights. He's not looking after his wife. What is she to do? The marriage is breaking down. She just started to notice it.

The first time a woman has noticed it — what does she do? Allah says:

What is sulh in Arabic? Does anybody know? To make peace, to rectify, to compromise. This is the most important word in marriage. To compromise, to come to middle ground.

You sacrifice something, she sacrifices something, you agree on something in the middle. Now, what is going to be the barrier if a husband and wife are not seeing eye to eye? What's going to stop them from making peace is greed, ego. "I'm not going to let go of my right. You better let go of yours." "I'm not going to let go."

So if they're both not letting go, they're in a stalemate — they're locked. Nobody is moving. They have to move to come back to the middle. So Allah says:

The worst thing in this process is for you to be greedy. Don't be greedy. Sacrifice, compromise, let it go.

"If you try to be your best, and you fear Allah — then indeed Allah is ever Khabir of what you do." When you have a serious problem in your marriage and you come to the table with your spouse to sit and say, "Right, how do we make this work?" — in your heart, you are negotiating, fighting, debating, not letting go. Remember, Allah is Khabir. Khabir means He knows what is deep and hidden in your heart.

When Things Get Worse

Next phase — the marriage gets worse. They're not able to come to a middle ground. Things have gotten to the point where they are talking about, "Maybe we have to finish it off." Then Allah says:

Okay — now Allah is not asking you for Ihsan, to be excellent with each other. Just do Islah, just try and make it work. And then Allah says: وَكَانَ اللَّهُ غَفُورًا رَحِيمًا. Why?

When a husband and wife — their marriage has deteriorated, it's broken to such an extent — do you think they're going to talk to each other with smiles and "How are you?" — كيف حالك? Is that going to happen? No. Are they going to hug and be best friends? No. They're going to say things that are wrong. They're going to shout at each other. They're going to get angry with each other. They're going to say things they regret.

In the process of making the marriage work, they are going to — 100% — say things that they will regret. But because they're trying to make it work, Allah says: You might do some regretful actions, but remember, Allah is غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ. Don't be hard on yourself. Allah is forgiving and He is merciful. There's still hope. You made a mistake, you got angry, you shouted, you didn't stop talking to each other — it's okay. Allah will forgive you. Just keep trying to make it work.

If the Marriage Ends

What happens if it's finished? The marriage is over. It's not going to continue. Allah says:

When a husband and wife divorce — Allah will enrich each one of them from His abundance.