How to change yourself

How to Change Yourself

If we look at two polar opposite personalities, Abu Bakr and Umar. In most of the major decisions in the life of the Prophet ﷺ, Abu Bakr and Umar, they go in two completely different directions.

The Battle of Badr — Prisoners of War

After the Battle of Badr, the prisoners of war. What does Abu Bakr say? Free them. What does Umar say? No.

The Treaty of Hudaybiyah

The peace treaty of Hudaybiyah. What does Abu Bakr say? The Meccans are asking for these big demands — it's okay, give it to them. It's okay, it's okay. Give it to them, there's a bigger play. What does Umar ibn al-Khattab say? He's furious. How could you compromise on these things? This is a complete failure.

They're both righteous men, but they're both suited to two different types of leadership.

Umar's Great Personality Change

Famously, one of these two men went through a big personality change in their life. Who was it? It was Umar. What happened to Umar? When he was a khalifa, what happened to his personality by then? He became soft. He became gentle. He used to be a lot more hot-headed, a lot more ready to finish this person, get rid of this person, throw them out.

By nature, he's somebody who's driven. He was somebody who was a dominating personality. When he became the khalifa, he changed.

How Did He Change?

Now, here's the question. How did he change? And therefore, how should we change? What are the factors that molded, shaped, and changed his personality? Very difficult to do so. The responsibility of the khalifa, the heavy burden of the leadership of the believers — it softened Umar because he became fearful of Allah. If I was too harsh, what would happen to me?

When he came into the leadership position, he said the famous statement:

(A well-known statement attributed to Umar ibn al-Khattab, reported in various historical and Islamic sources.)

The Lesson: Responsibility Changes People

So responsibility changes people. Sometimes it's very important to put yourself — volunteer — for life experiences that will mold you and shape you. It's very crucial in shaping your character.