Letter vs Spirit of the Law | Imam Nadim Bashir | Jumuah Khutbah | EPIC Masjid

Opening Announcements

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. First of all, if I can ask for people to please make sure your phones are turned off.

First of all is a few announcements. Number one is Dr. Kamran Bhatti. He's a doctor of our community. He comes every month to our seniors event to conduct presentations. His mother, Sister Zohra, is extremely sick. She's in the ICU. We ask Allah to grant her shifa.

Also, we have received a message that one of our members of our community, their family member, passed away overseas. His name is Brother Aftab Ahmed. We ask Allah to grant him a place in Jannah. May Allah enlighten his grave and have mercy upon him, Ameen ya Rabbil Alameen.

There's a brother of our community, Brother Zeeshan. He's requesting du'a for his brother-in-law, Muezzuddin, who has an open-heart surgery. He's on the ventilator. We ask Allah to grant him shifa.

There's a brother of our community, Brother Waqas Choudhry. His wife went into emergency delivery. And she gave birth six weeks earlier, and the baby is currently in the ICU. So we ask Allah to grant the baby shifa. May Allah keep mother and baby under his aafiyah. May Allah make their affairs easy for him.

And finally, there is a request from Sister Farhana Begum, who is the wife of Brother Raqib Ahmed. She's in the hospital. She's going through stage four cancer. We ask Allah to grant her shifa. All those who are sick, we ask Allah to grant them shifa.

And all those who passed away, may Allah have mercy upon them.

Adhan and Opening Praise

As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. Allah is the Greatest, Allah is the Greatest. I bear witness that there is no deity worthy of worship except Allah. I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah. Come to prayer, come to success, Allah is the Greatest, Allah is the Greatest.

All praise is due to Allah. We praise Him, we seek His help and we seek His forgiveness. We seek refuge in Allah from the evil of our souls and from the evil of our deeds. Whom Allah guides, none can misguide him, and whom He misguides, none can guide him. We bear witness that there is no deity worthy of worship except Allah. We bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and His Messenger.

O people, fear your Lord, Who created you from one soul, and created from it its mate. And He spread among them many men and women. And fear Allah, in Whom you ask for help and mercy. Indeed, Allah is ever watching over you.

O you who have believed, fear Allah as He should be feared. And you will not die except as Muslims.

O you who have believed, fear Allah and speak the truth. He will correct your deeds and forgive you your sins. And whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger, he has certainly attained a great victory.

Indeed, the best hadith is the Book of Allah, and the best guidance is the guidance of Muhammad, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him. And the worst of matters are those that are brought forth, and every brought forth is a creation, and every creation is a misguidance, and every misguidance is in the Fire.

The Letter vs Spirit of the Law

Brothers and sisters, before I begin, I want to say that today's khutbah is not so much of a motivational one, but rather an educational one. Something that we need to really reflect on. And the reason why I'm giving this khutbah is because there's a certain trend that you see that is taking place within our growing community.

It begins between parents and children, and as children are growing up, understanding their deen, learning about their deen, there's still a lot of questions that linger in their heart. At the same time, I've seen a lot of youth, and a lot of young men and young women, who have just had this open disconnection with their deen. This feeling of not taking their deen seriously, and feeling that rather than deen playing a role of protecting them, and being a rahmah for them, they see deen as an impediment in their life. They see deen as a way to deprive them from so many blessings of life. And this is what has allowed me, or pushed me to give a khutbah of this type.

The topic that we're talking about today is not something that is new, is not something that is modern, but rather it is deeply rooted within our deen. However, if it is misunderstood, then it can affect our homes, it can affect our relationships, and more importantly, it can affect our upcoming generation.

Understanding the Balance

In Islam, there's a balance that has always been maintained. What we can refer to that balance is that there is something called the letter of the law, and there's something called the spirit of the law. The letter of the law, the spirit of the law. Let me explain.

The letter of the law is what we're told to do. For example, the actions, pray salat, give zakat, do hajj, go for umrah, do this, do that. These are all considered as the letter of the law, is the actions. Or sometimes we're told that if you don't do this, this will happen to you. These are the rulings. This is halal, this is haram, this is it. These are considered as the letter of the law.

The spirit of the law is what we are generally not told about, but it is about the purpose, the hikmah, and the wisdom behind these laws. And this is where the disconnect is.

Now usually, if you look at our deen, our deen is where there is the letter of the law, and there is a spirit of the law. If you only have ahkam, do this, do this, do this, do this, that's it. Don't ask questions, just do this. But we don't understand the purpose of it, that eventually after some time, any person, naturally speaking, part of our human being or humanness, we will eventually abandon it because we don't see the benefit of it for us. If I do something over and over again, and I don't see the benefit, I will eventually leave it.

At the same time, Allah in the Qur'an has explained the spirit of the law, but not negating or neglecting the letter of the law. So if Allah talked about that why did Allah tell us to do such and such. Allah wants us to fast, why does He want us to fast? Allah wants us to pray salat, but why does He want us to pray salat? If Allah only explained, but said you don't have to do anything, then what's the purpose of understanding a concept if I'm not going to apply it? So there is something called the letter of the law, and there's something called the spirit of the law.

The Problem in Our Families

Now usually what happens is that when we only focus on the letter of the law, which is happening in most families, and this is why you see a lot of children growing up with a distaste of deen in their life. They don't want to take any deen, any part of deen seriously, because again the parents have continuously emphasized only on the letter of the law. There has been no understanding, there has never been an explanation as to what is the spirit of the law. And as a result you'll find kids growing up not wanting to practice deen. In fact I have seen even youth who have completely left their deen altogether. Completely left their deen altogether, and they have adopted another faith altogether.

Whereas if you have both of them together, if a person understands the letter of the law, they understand the ahkam, they understand the rulings, they understand the halal and the haram, and they understand their responsibility as a Muslim. But they understand at the same time, why is this important for me? Why did Allah institutionalize this? Why did Allah legislate this? And the things that we like to do so much, Allah has made them haram. For what reason? Then a person will grow up not only having respect for Allah, but they will respect whether they agree with it or not. Whether they agree with it or not, they will respect the laws of Allah, and they will live by what Allah and His Prophet ﷺ want.

Teaching Children: Adab and Akhlaq First

Now, another thing that's also important to understand is that when it comes to understanding the letter of the law, and the spirit of the law, I want you all to pay attention to this. As kids are growing up, that is not a time that we explain the spirit of the law. As kids are growing up, we explain to them what are important things. For example, I've talked about this before in my previous khutbahs. Many of us, we want our kids to learn the 99 names of Allah. Many of us, we want our kids to start reading the Quran from a young age. And I personally disagree with this approach. I wallahi, 100%, unequivocally, I condemn this approach.

Because what we need to be teaching our kids when they are young, from day one, as they're growing up, and they're learning things slowly and gradually, after the age of 2 and 3, and they're starting to understand the world around them, we have to teach two things that you and I, we're not doing in most cases. And I'm not gonna center my khutbah around this topic because I've talked about it before in another khutbah. But the two things that we need to teach our kids is adab and akhlaq. Because unfortunately, many of our kids, they don't have adab and they don't have akhlaq. They don't have character and they don't have mannerisms. They don't understand the etiquettes of certain places. When they come to the masjid, we see how they behave at the masjid. When they are at home, we see how they talk to their parents.

Many of us here who are older, in the 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s, we were taught adab and akhlaq when we were kids. So when it comes to children, when it comes to children, the obsession about Qur'an is wrong. We need to teach them Qur'an later in their life. The very first thing you teach them, is akhlaq and adab.

Teaching Salat Through Example

In fact, even when it comes to salat, what have we been taught? What is Imam Ghazali, he talks about this in one of his books also. How do we teach our kids salat? Not that we have to make them stand next to us physically, as they are babies, and they are crawling around the house. If mom and dad, especially mom, the best place for the women to pray is at home. If the mom is praying at home continuously, and time after time, the dad is probably at home and he's praying. The kids are seeing this, and they will come and stand next to you. Without you even telling them, because they have this behavior, and it's part of their development that they want to mimic what their adults are doing. So if they are seeing the salat, they see how their parents are talking to each other, and then you're teaching them adab and akhlaq, they will grow with adab and akhlaq.

And then there comes a time that you start telling them about the certain things. When you go to someone's house, this is how you behave. Now our kids have this one habit, and that habit is called the why habit. W-H-Y habit. Why do I have to do it? Just do because I'm telling you to do it. Now when they are young, you're telling them over and over again, do as you're told to do.

Letter vs Spirit of the Law

Don't ask any questions, we'll talk about the questions later on. Do, do, do. That's absolutely fine. That's called the letter of the law. That's called the letter of the law. You're telling them to do things. They don't understand it right now. And a lot of times they're just asking for it, not that they will understand the logic behind it. But what happens when the kids start growing up a little more? As they get into the middle school phase, right? Because as kids are going through the middle school phase, they're going through an identity crisis. They're trying to figure out who they are. They're trying to figure out the world within them. It is really a gap between high school and elementary that where their hormones are like up and down. They're absolutely crazy. Now at that time, they're gonna come and ask you questions. This is where slowly and gradually as parents, we need to explain to them the spirit of the law.

The Example of Salat

Let me give you some examples so you understand. Take salat for example. How many of us keep on yelling at our children, namaz faro, namaz faro, namaz faro, right? Go pray salat, go pray salat, go pray salat. And if you don't pray salat, you'll be in Jahannam. If you don't pray salat, you'll be in Jahannam. Now our kids have grown up with this. So many of our kids have grown up hearing this about this over and over again. And as a result, they're like, you know what? If it's destined for me to go to Jahannam, they don't understand what they're saying. But they're like, if it's destined for me to go to Jahannam, then I'd rather just go, right? I just can't deal with this nagging of my parents again and again and again.

Now, the way to work around it in a way that you can maintain the letter of the law and the spirit of the law at the same time, is that first of all is, if you have as a parent, if you have been punctual about your salat, and then you reward your kids for praying salat, and you reward them and you give them some kind of incentive, and they're waking up for fajr, and they're coming, they're trying to wake up their parents, they're trying to push their own parents. You as a parent, if you give them a reward for this, there's nothing wrong with that. They're building up the love for salat.

But then there's gonna come a time in their life where they're gonna be like, well, what's the point of salat? When I don't understand what I'm saying. When I don't understand the benefit of it. I don't see directly the benefit of this salat. That is where the spirit of the law comes into the picture. This is where you have to start teaching your kids. What is the benefit of salat? How salat brings discipline within your life. When a person is in the salat, there are things that are generally are halal, that become haram for us while we are in salat. For example, eating and consuming something is permissible. However, when you start your salat, it becomes haram. Talking is permissible. However, when you start your salat, it becomes impermissible. One of the benefits of salat is that it provides you discipline in your life.

Another benefit of salat, Allah says in the Quran:

Teach your kids, show your kids examples of people who pray salat, and how much nur they have in their life, versus people who don't pray salat, and how they have been devoid of the nur of Allah. When you teach your kids again and again, the letter of the law, and then the spirit of the law, then hopefully in many cases they will grow up.

And part of the spirit of the law is for them to understand what they're saying also. Teach them what is Surah al-Fatiha. Teach them what the basic surahs are. If you have taught your kids, the smallest surah, إِنَّا أَعْطَيْنَاكَ الْكَوْثَرَ, قُلْ هُوَ اللَّهُ أَحَدٌ, قُلْ أَعُوذُ بِرَبِّ الْفَلَقِ, قُلْ أَعُوذُ بِرَبِّ النَّاسِ, آيَةُ الْكُرْسِيِّ. Whatever you have taught them, give them, teach them the meaning of this. Teach them what does سُبْحَانَ رَبِّيَ الْعَظِيمِ mean. سُبْحَانَ رَبِّيَ الْأَعْلَى, what does it mean? التَّحِيَّاتُ لِلَّهِ Teach them what it means. If they can put some meaning to what they are saying in their salat, then hopefully they will have more of an appreciation for salat.

Many times our youth and our children, they don't have any appreciation, because they've been doing this over and over again, and they have never been told, that what is the benefit behind the salat. And as long as they do this, they will do this for a certain period of time. But believe it or not, there will come a time where they will completely disconnect from salat, because they feel they're not getting anything from their salat. So this is something that, I'm just giving you one example.

The Example of Hijab and Modesty

Let me give you another example. When you talk about modesty, when you talk about hijab for example, many times many of our mothers or fathers, they want to impose the hijab on their children. Now, first of all is that, I really get irritated when I hear parents say, that let the kids make their own decisions. You let them make their own decisions, then what are you there as a parent for? Respectfully. What are you doing as a parent? What is your role as a parent? If you let them do whatever they want to do, then guess what? Then don't send them to school either, because I know they don't want to go to school. They want to wake up late. In fact, you give a child today, you give them a gaming system, you give them Wi-Fi or a phone and a bathroom, and eat and food, unlimited food, they'll be happy in life. Wallahi, they'll be happy in life. If you gave them all these kind of things.

You know, as a parent, you need to make the decisions for them. If you have a daughter, if the mother, first of all is, you find a lot of mothers who don't wear the hijab themselves. And now they want to impose the hijab on their own daughters. That's hypocritical. But then you have a mother who says, well, I don't wear the hijab, so therefore I should not force my daughter. You need to understand as a mother that you are setting yourself up for failure in the akhira. Allah will ask you, that when you had a child and you had to make changes in your life, you did not want to teach your daughter, because it will be an inconvenience to you. So therefore you decide not to make the sacrifice.

Then you have mothers who do wear the hijab very aggressively, very religiously. And may Allah bless them and reward them. Going outside today and having a hijab is nearly in one way with the rise of Islamophobia is putting a target on your back. But may Allah protect our sisters who go out so boldly, in a very bold way. And with complete courage, they go outside and they wear their hijab. And at that time, what you do is that you start encouraging your girls again and again, the benefits of hijab. Tell them to wear their hijab. When you go outside, even for something small, wear the hijab, wear the hijab. Now sometimes the girls might feel, I don't want to wear the hijab. Okay, once in a while here and there, you can let it go. But overall, next time, you wear the hijab. Yes, I'll wear the hijab. We reward them for this. Give them some kind of incentive for this.

But as they're growing up slowly and gradually, teach them about modesty. We live in a immodest society. Our deen has taught us modesty. They want to expose themselves as much as they want. We in our deen, we say that we believe in more of the covering up process and system. We believe in covering ourselves up and dressing ourselves in a certain way. But what happens is that, imagine if you keep on telling your daughter, wear the hijab, wear the hijab, wear the hijab, tell your daughters. And then, after a while, you don't even explain to them why. It's just, why? Because you're a Muslim. Yes, Allah has told us that there are certain things that we do, and we don't ask questions. But at the same time, Allah has given us the spirit of the law in the Quran and in the hadith of Rasulullah ﷺ.

The Need for Balanced Tarbiyah

So that is why we as parents, we need to start changing up the way we do the tarbiyah of our children. Once again, as they're growing up, when they're children, you can apply the letter of the law. But as they begin to grow up, you have to explain to them the hikmah, the benefit, the consequences of not applying the rules of Allah. Because that is when they're going to have a true appreciation for their deen and the laws of Allah.

And this goes for any other habit. How many times we tell our children that don't use the phone, don't use the phone, don't use the phone. No, we teach our children how to use the phone in a disciplined way. Do not go anywhere. This is where we teach our children. What does taqwa mean? We teach our children that, look, your parents may not be there. I, Baba, may not be there. Mama may not be there. But you know who's there? Allah is there. أَلَمْ يَعْلَمْ بِأَنَّ اللَّهَ يَرَىٰ Allah is watching you. Do you want your sin to be exposed in front of others? No. Well, guess what? If you do this, your sins are gonna be exposed and on the Day of Judgment in front of every single person of mankind.

Slowly and gradually, we have to teach them the consequences of what... what are the consequences of doing the wrong things. In society, they teach this. What are the consequences of driving fast on a road? You will get a speeding ticket. And if there is an X amount of... a certain amount of points on your driver's license, if you get a ticket the next time, you will be arrested. We understand that there are consequences. Yeah, when it comes to our deen, it gets me really bothered when people say, oh, don't talk about consequences. Don't talk about consequences. If Allah talked about consequences, then why do you have a problem about talking about consequences?

Balance Between Love and Consequences

Oh, brother, deen is about love. Okay. Just only talk about the positive things. Do not talk about jahannam. Do not talk about these kind of things. Do not make people run away from deen. I'm not making people run away from deen. But at the same time, if Allah, He is Ar-Rahman Ar-Rahim. At the same time, He is Shadidul Iqab. Then I need to respect that there are rewards for the good things that we do in life. And there are consequences when we do something that is wrong.

Because today what Islam is becoming is, that Allah loves you. Yes, Allah loves us. But when you do something that is wrong, it doesn't matter. Allah loves you, brother. Allah loves you, sister. Yes, Allah loves us. And Allah will forgive us. As long as we are the ones who are willing to ask Allah for forgiveness. Okay? That's the way it works. If we want forgiveness, Allah will most certainly forgive us. But at the same time, if a person is adamant and stubborn on their wrong ways, there will be consequences. We teach our kids that what are the consequences of the bad habits that they are doing.

Allowing Children to Learn Through Experience

Now a lot of times, part of again, the letter of the law is, we keep on nitpicking as parents. Don't do this, don't do this, don't do this, do this. No. We try to explain them why this is not good for you. And guess what, let me say this also. You know parents will say, Oh, I want to keep on protecting my child. Because I don't want anything bad to happen to them. And I'll tell you this, and I'll stand by this statement of mine. I don't care how many of you disagree with me. If after explaining to your child, giving them the letter of the law, and the spirit of the law, and I know you as a parent, no parent wants to see their child suffer and fall. But guess what, sometimes in life, after you've explained your child over and over again, they need a really tough lesson in life. They need a tough lesson in their life.

I have seen teenagers who have been rebellious. One accident, one car accident, changed their life. It's not something that I wish for anyone. But sometimes Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala brings those kind of lessons in your life. And you wake up, you smell the coffee, you begin to realize your purpose of life. You begin to realize where I've been going wrong all my life. This is what we need to teach our children. And again, if they don't want to learn, then sometimes let them fall in life. I know you don't want that as a parent. But trust me, let them fall in life. They will learn their lesson very well. Because you as a parent, you keep on being there, you want to protect them, protect them, protect them. How long are you going to protect them? How long are you going to protect them? If they don't have respect for Allah, do you think they're going to have respect for you? It's not going to happen. If they don't have respect for Allah and Prophet ﷺ, they won't have respect for what you have to tell them. That is where Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala brings those kind of times in their life.

But we as parents, what we can do is, teach them the letter of the law, and then teach them the spirit of the law. And hopefully inshallah we pray that after we've done our job, then we put them in the hands of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and we pray that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will give them guidance inshallah. I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to grant us the tawfiq to understand our deen, to explain our deen in a way that other people are able to accept. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect our children. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala give our children the understanding that there is a hikmah behind every single law of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. May Allah grant them the understanding of the letter of the law, and the spirit of the law.

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Building Connection Before Correction

Again, the last thing I will say is that before we often get into teaching about halal and haram let's teach our kids about who Allah is. Before we enforce actions upon our children let's try to build a connection with them also. And before we correct them constantly let's try to listen to them and understand what they're trying to go through. We have to prioritize relationship over control. We have to prioritize relationship over control. Because if a child does not feel safe with any person they will not take Islam from a person who's trying to teach them Islam.

The Prophetic Method of Teaching

And that's why again Rasulullah ﷺ always taught us that there are important principles of our deen. For example, teaching comes at a gradual pace. It does not come overnight. People are not like light switches. You can just turn them on overnight. It doesn't work like that. Gentle correction, the Prophet ﷺ always when he corrected people he used gentleness. Not used fear, but he used encouragement.

And that's why the last thing is that what we need to do is that we need to understand each other. We need to understand our kids. In many times when we see them doing something that is wrong talk to them, have a conversation with them. It is not just a drive-by halal and haram thing. Halal and haram, that's it, you go. No, sit down with your children. Have a conversation with them. Understand what they're going through. Many times you don't even know what your own kids are going through. They're going through some feelings that they are not even sharing with you. As parents it's our job to understand those feelings and then try to help them come close to Allah as we have seen from Rasulullah ﷺ.

We ask Allah to grant all of us tawfiq. Ameen ya Rabb al-alameen.

فاذكروني أذكركم واشكروني ولا تكفرون أقيم الصلاة

Straighten your lines, fill in the gaps.

صلى الله عليه وسلم صدق الله

Straighten your lines, fill in the gaps.

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله، السلام عليكم ورحمة الله