Golden Advice: The Power of Self Reflection | Mufti Abdul Wahab Waheed

Golden Advice: The Power of Self-Reflection

As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, dear brothers and sisters. Welcome back to our second session of Golden Advice from our past predecessors, the sahabas and the Prophet ﷺ. In this life, dear brothers and sisters, we have a process that we know and we learn in business, in schools, in any organization or institution — that if we're a part of a business and we have partners, and those partners are there so we can benefit from each other's expertise and skills and talents. But one of the natural laws of business and the natural laws of having partners and colleagues is that there are checks and balances.

That a partner is supposed to make sure that the other individual is not walking over his rights, is not transgressing the rights of the company and of the business. And that's how the world works. And the greater, the bigger the business, and the more money flow there is, the more faculties and the more systems are necessary to be put in place to make sure there are checks and balances from the top to the bottom.

In an institution, there has to be checks and balances from the top, from the board, all the way to the last person walking into the doors of that school. And this is how the world works. The moment we stop initiating these checks and balances within a school, within a family, within a business, we find it to start crumbling and the mistakes start coming out. And because of those mistakes, there is no more school left, there is no more business that is left to go to.

Similarly, dear brothers and sisters, we have yet to understand there is a process for ourselves to implement in our own lives in order for this body to continue progressing towards the obedience of Allah. And that is the process of self-reflection and also putting ourselves within checks and balances. Also putting ourselves into a process of seeing whether we're moving forward — are we reaching our goals, our objectives, are our tasks being completed, are we falling back? Or is there still more work left to be done?

And that is — the aql is the business. The aql is the nucleus. And the shareholders are the limbs. Just like how in a business, the board and the CEO is the nucleus, and the rest of the company and the people of the business are the limbs. The limbs of our body is what we need to ask ourselves about. How are our limbs being used? Are we asking ourselves these questions? Because naturally, we are experts. We are expert analysts. We have expertise in finding out the mistakes of others and critiquing others. But when it comes to ourselves, we somehow turn a blind eye.

And this is the topic of today's discussion. That while we are sitting at home in some form of isolation or quarantine, let us create a process of bringing this sunnah into our life, which is a very important sunnah. And this is a sunnah that the Prophet ﷺ started and initiated and it continued throughout the Salaf as-Saleheen.

The Wisdom of the Scholars on Muhasabah

A great scholar by the name of Maimun ibn Mihran rahimahu Allah says:

A profound statement. He says that it is not possible for a person to be called a muttaqi. It is not possible for a person to say that they have any form of taqwa in their life until they become more strict and stringent over themselves and their own self-reflection and their own muhasabah — over how a partner does muhasabah or how a partner gauges and critiques his partner. Like in business, a partner looks at the other partner and makes sure that they are doing their job. Similarly, he says, we can only be people of taqwa — in other words, we can only be people of guidance — if we have initiated that process for ourselves.

The great Ameerul Mu'mineen, Umar ibn al-Khattab radiyaAllahu anhu would say:

He says: weigh your own deeds before the day comes that they are weighed. Do hisab of yourself. Be accountable to yourself. A smart and an upright individual doesn't need anyone else to put him in check and make sure that they are doing their job. But rather an intelligent person makes sure that before the final year review comes — where the IRS checks my business, where if I'm a non-profit, if my taxes are not done, if everything is on point — before that time of the year takes place, an intelligent person does it himself in-house. They have in-house reviews. They have in-house checks and balances. They have in-house accountability. They have an in-house accountant. Before the government comes and checks up on them, they've already done it.

So Umar radiyaAllahu anhu says, a smart person is a person that starts this process on a daily basis in their life:

He says that tomorrow, when the true hisab comes — where the external IRS company comes to count every dollar, every dime, and every nickel of our banks and our sheets — before that day comes in which Allah starts counting our deeds. Umar radiyaAllahu anhu would say:

Everything will be exposed. Where Allah speaks about this by saying:

What type of book is this that every small, minute, feeble deed that I did is also documented in this book. And Allah will say to that person:

Read your book now and see where you stand. Today, you are enough of an accountant for yourself. You know where you stand. You know whether or not you made profit in your revenue or if you cut out a loss. You know that. So Umar radiyaAllahu anhu is telling us that that should start in our life now.

The Story of Umar and His Self-Accountability

Anas ibn Malik radiyaAllahu anhu mentions a beautiful story — it really makes us think about who we are. He says that one day I was walking with Umar radiyaAllahu anhu and he disappeared from me. I lost him. And when I lost him, I started looking for him and I saw him creep behind a wall. And he was saying to himself: "Umar, they call you Ameerul Mu'mineen? They call you the leader of the believers? Woe be to you, you're nobody. Who are you? What do you have?"

Before he passed away, he told his son Ibn Umar: دَعْ رَأْسِي مِنْ فَخِذَيْكَ — Take my head off your lap and put it on the floor. And he said that if Allah doesn't forgive me, and if Allah doesn't save me, then Umar has lost himself and his entire family.

They would put themselves to account because they were intelligent individuals. They were looking beyond, and they were preparing so that on the Day of Judgment they don't have to worry about that hisab — because they were doing it in their own life. Umar radiyaAllahu anhu was in the forefront of this sunnah. Where he would wear a ring — rather than saying "Umar ibn al-Khattab, Ameerul Mu'mineen" — that ring would say:

That death is a sufficient enough advisor. It's enough to tell me that I've got to prepare myself. I don't need anyone else to give me advice. I don't need anyone else to prepare me for the akhirah. I see people leaving the world. I see people in this virus as well — they are leaving, may Allah give them the reward of shuhada. But this is enough of a proof and a hujjah for me that I start thinking about muhasabah and self-accountability.

Hassan al-Basri on the Believer's Self-Accounting

Hassan al-Basri rahimahu Allah, the great scholar, the giant, the legend — he says:

A believer who is strong and intelligent is an individual who will do his hisab of himself for Allah. And when he does this, Allah will make the hisab of the Day of Judgment easy for those people that have some self-accountability. They have their QuickBooks open. We don't need an accountant — you can use QuickBooks to put your income and your revenue and analyze what type of money you're making or how much loss you're cutting through. Similarly, they're telling us that we should have a process before we sleep where we sit down for a few moments and we also reflect upon the limbs of our body.

Did my hands do more good or did they perform more sins? Did my eyes look towards more goodness or did they look towards more haram? Did my ears listen to more haram or did they listen to more Qur'an and dhikr of Allah? This is what we call self-accountability. And we are people that are very intelligent and doing it for others but somehow become blind when it comes to ourselves.

Malik ibn Dinar on the Two Eyes

Malik ibn Dinar rahimahu Allah would mention that the reason why Allah has given us two eyes is that with one eye we look at the goodness of people and with the other eye we look at the flaws of ourselves. It looks like we in our time have flipped the scenario — with one eye we look at the flaws of people and with the second eye we look at the goodness within ourselves and we forget about our own flaws.

Ibn al-Qayyim on Signs of Happiness

Nonetheless, Ibn al-Qayyim rahimahu Allah mentions:

That a sign of a very fortunate, very lucky, and intelligent person is that his good deeds are behind his back and his sins are in front of his eyes — because he is hoping that he can get rid of these sins.

But Jibreel alayhi as-salam mentions — in a narration found in al-Tabari — that Shaytan says: if a slave can do two things, I've done my job. I'm finished. I am successful. Number one, يُعْجِبُ بِرَأْيِهِ — that he becomes pleased with and marvels over his own opinion. He marvels over what he does. He marvels or she marvels over their life. Have we forgotten about everything else that is inside of us that nobody knows about but Allah? And number two, بَصِيرًا فِي عُيُوبِ النَّاسِ — that they are individuals who look at the flaws of people. If they do these two things, that means I've made it and I've done my job. I don't need to work on that person anymore.

So we in this life — and this hopefully short time that we have in this quarantine, and insha'Allah Allah takes away this calamity from us — but if we can create this sunnah from this time it can stay for much longer beyond this.

Ibn al-Qayyim rahimahu Allah says:

He says: give glad tidings to that person who knows how to stay busy with his own flaws — and because he is busy with his own flaws, he or she does not have any time to look at the flaws of people. And wail — meaning a deep valley in Jahannam — is for those people that are too busy looking at the flaws of others and forget themselves and forget that they also have to give accountability to Allah.

Bilal ibn Sa'd on Self-Deception

Bilal ibn Sa'd rahimahu Allah says:

That you remembering your good deeds and forgetting about your sins is deception. We're deceiving ourselves. We have to balance it. We have to know that there are good deeds that we have in our bag so we can have hope in the mercy of Allah. We should also remember that there are also sins that are there so we can learn how to seek forgiveness — and how to stop judging people, and how to stop looking at other people, and how to stop becoming people who critique others and comment about others on Facebook and on Twitter.

If Facebook and Twitter and social media was the best place for critiquing others and advising people, then believe me, there will be no one left to take advice from us. Because the right way of advising people and the correct way of advising people is that we advise them at a time when no one is watching and we give them advice in a way that they can accept it — because it comes from a place of love.

The great scholar of the subcontinent region, Muhammad Ashraf Ali Thanwi rahimahu Allah — it is written in his book Khutabat al-Hakeem al-Ummah — where he would say: I would find that my teachers would create a relationship with me for over a year to give me one small piece of advice. SubhanAllah — one advice. And there we are. We don't even know who the person is. We don't know their circumstances. We don't know what they're dealing with. We don't know what's happening with their family. We don't know anything about them. All we know is we saw a picture of them doing this, or we heard about them doing this during the time of quarantine. And there we go — we start posting things and opening our tongue against them. Are we perfect? Have we forgotten about our own ayub? And this is why this topic is so important, especially in a time of quarantine.

The Companionship of Angels

Mujahid rahimahu Allah — who was a great mufassir and is often found quoting Ibn Abbas — mentions:

That each and every single one of us is surrounded by angels. جُلَسَاءَ — we have the companionship of angels. Imagine that. So we're not really alone.

One person came to Abdullah ibn al-Mubarak — and Abdullah ibn al-Mubarak was a person who enjoyed his alone time. He enjoyed being quarantined. He was once found saying: if it wasn't for the fact that there is Jumu'ah and salah in Jumu'ah, I would make a room in my house and not leave it till I pass away. SubhanAllah. And once we do return to Jumu'ah, we still realize the importance of spending some time alone so we can learn who we are.

Ali radiyaAllahu anhu would say: مَنْ عَرَفَ نَفْسَهُ عَرَفَ رَبَّهُ — Whosoever finds out what their nafs is all about and knows what they have going on inside, they know where the holes in their business are. If the CEO knows and if the board members know, they can figure out a way to fix it. But if the people on top are completely oblivious to those flaws, then what is a normal 9-to-5 employee going to do for them? They have absolutely no way of helping them.

So the aql is the owner of the limbs. The aql is what tells the limbs to do haram. The aql is what tells the limbs to do halal. So if we also understand the importance of this within our own lives, even after the quarantine, we'll find a way to implement this sunnah.

Nonetheless, Abdullah ibn al-Mubarak was asked: why do you enjoy spending so much time alone? He said: I'm not alone. I'm not alone. I'm with my angels and I'm with the Prophet because I'm reading his hadith, and I'm with the sahabahs because I'm reading their stories. And he mentioned that there cannot be a better gathering than that in which I'm with the angels and with the Prophet and with the Sahabah.

So Mujahid mentions:

That if an individual is sitting and he speaks about his Muslim brother or sister in a positive way, the angels say: وَلَكَ بِمِثْلِهِ — and hopefully you get the same. They make du'a that we also receive the same as the du'a that we made for the Muslim brother or sister. وَإِذَا ذَكَرَهُ بِسُوءٍ — and when we say something negative about that person, the angels respond and say: throw some dirt in your mouth. Don't you know about yourself? Don't you know about what you've done in your life?

And this is why one of the great scholars of the third century would say:

He says: every single person that doesn't know about their own sins and their own flaws — they are a fool. Because it's impossible that we don't have flaws.

Imam Malik's Humility

It has been noted and quoted about Imam Malik ibn Anas rahimahu Allah, the Imam of Medina, that he would be found saying: whenever I meet someone, in my mind I feel — of course Allah has given me knowledge and ilm — but at the same time, I don't look down at anyone else. Anyone that I see, I think that perhaps they may be better than me because of what they do in their internal life.

So for example, if I see someone younger than me, I would say to myself: this person is younger than me in age, that means they have lived less years in this life, so because of that they have committed less sins — so they're better than me. And if I meet someone that is older than me, I tell myself the opposite: they've lived more years in this life than me. Perhaps they've prayed more salah. They've done more Hajj. They fasted one more Ramadan. They've given more charity.

The way we look at people — we should look at people by giving them the benefit of the doubt in every situation. And if we want to advise them, which we should, at times when we're isolated with them and people are not gawking at them and people are not mocking them.

The Bedouin Who Urinated in the Masjid

The Bedouin sahabi came into the Masjid of the Prophet ﷺ — the holiest site in the world — and he urinated in that masjid. Can you imagine the anger and the pain the sahabas were going through because they had seen this person urinate in the masjid? And the Prophet ﷺ told them: sit down, sit down, relax.

That's where the majority of us stop talking about this story. The story continues — this person who urinated, the Prophet ﷺ called him near him. And he quietly told him. He didn't just ignore him, as if to say it's okay that he did something wrong. No — he called him close and advised him in a way that made him feel special and loved and cared for. And at the same time, he learned his mistakes. (Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 220)

The Ten Benefits of Isolation and Self-Reflection

Dear brothers and sisters, while we're in this time, this is the best time for us to take benefit from our isolation. Ibn Sirin rahimahu Allah — these are just a few quotes that I found about such sunnah that we perhaps have ignored or forgotten about. He said: اَلْعُزْلَةُ عِبَادَةٌ — being alone is an ibadah. Because in this ibadah, you can get many benefits. And I'll quote for us ten benefits from the scholars of the past that they have mentioned — ten benefits that we can get in this time if we learn how to self-reflect.

1. Qillatul Ghadab — Less Anger

The first benefit that we can get is we can learn how to become angry less — how to be less angry. Because we understand that there is a lot of blame to go around. And sometimes when we think we're very good at something — and I'm speaking to myself more than I'm speaking to anyone else — and if someone else messes up in doing something because we're with them, we get angry very fast. Getting angry very fast is a sign of a munafiq: وَإِذَا خَاصَمَ فَجَرَ — whenever he gets angry, he expresses himself so fast and he doesn't know how to hold back.

So being alone, and being in some form of quarantine, or even post-quarantine, learning how to close off yourself from the world for a few moments of the day — while in the car rather than putting on the radio, maybe for a few moments just reflect and think: how much have I done today? Put yourself on a scale and have your good deeds and bad deeds compared. So he says number one: qillatul ghadab — that you start becoming angry less when you're alone, because you know there is a lot of blame to go around for each and every one of us.

2. Al-Quwwatu 'ala Kadhimil Ghayz — Power Over the Nafs

The second benefit that we can get is that we learn how to take power over our nafs. We learn how to own our nafs.

Very fortunate is that person who knows his nafs and he can own it — and his nafs does not own him. So he tells his nafs, or she tells her nafs: now it's okay for you to speak up. Now it's okay for you to become angry. Now it's okay for you to give your comment. Or else — just stay quiet. So al-quwwatu 'ala kadhimil ghayz.

3. Al-'Amalu bi-Salamatis Sadr — Good Deeds with an Open Heart

Number three: وَالْعَمَلُ بِسَلَامَةِ الصَّدْرِ — this is the one that I truly enjoyed as well. That they can do good deeds with an open heart, meaning without the fear of riya'. There's no fear of ostentation. There's no fear of showing off. Because who's there? There's no one there. And that's when you truly recognize how many of your a'mal were done for the sake of Allah, and how much was done for perhaps the sake of people.

So you're able to really understand how to do good deeds without the benefit of people around you. And now we're doing it solely for the purpose of Allah. Our practice happens in isolation, and then when we go out in public, it doesn't make a difference if people are watching. Like these athletes and sports stars — when they play in front of 20, 40, 50 thousand people, it doesn't make a difference to them because they've been doing it for so long and practiced it for so long that they become experts. Now if people are screaming at them or not screaming at them, they don't cave in under the pressure — because they've become so good at it.

Similarly, the way we learn how to become good at good deeds and positive deeds is if we do them in isolation when no one is watching. Now when someone is watching, it doesn't affect us because we know why we're doing it. We've become experts in it and we've started to own our deeds for ourselves and not for anyone else.

And this is why the Prophet ﷺ — in the second revelation that came down after Iqra — was Surah al-Muddathir and Surah al-Muzzammil. And we find two beautiful commands that Allah gave the Prophet. After saying: "O Prophet who covers himself," two commands and two orders were given. And this is the balance that we need in our life.

Number one, the Prophet was told:

Do things on your own. Do a'mal when no one is watching. Do a'mal in the middle of the night. Do a'mal when no one knows about it. And number two:

Go out and assimilate within people. So our religion is a balance of isolation and assimilation. Since we've done a lot of assimilating within people, it is a good time for us to learn how to benefit from the isolation that is forced upon us.

4. Riqqatul Qulub wal-Rahmah — Softness of the Heart and Mercy

Number four: رِقَّةُ الْقُلُوبِ وَالرَّحْمَةُ — the heart becomes soft and it becomes full of mercy. And the heart becomes soft when you're alone because you're reflecting upon yourself.

5. Tatadhakkurun-Ni'am — Remembering Your Blessings

Number five: تَذَكُّرُ النِّعَمِ — you start remembering your blessings. How many of us are sitting down thinking: wow, going out was such a blessing before. Work was a blessing. School was a blessing. Friends were a blessing. Going outside was a blessing. And a few weeks before this, we were saying: my work is like this and I don't like it and it's so hard for me. And now we realize that even that was a blessing.

Some of us can't meet our parents. Some of us can't meet our siblings. Some of us can't travel back home to meet our family members. Or some of our family members are stuck back home and they can't come visit us. We can't meet our fathers, our mothers. تَذَكُّرُ النِّعَمِ — now we realize what a blessing those things were indeed.

6. Al-Ziyadah minal-Ta'ah — Increase in Worship

Number six: وَالزِّيَادَةُ مِنَ الطَّاعَةِ — it increases our worship because we don't have much else to do, so we turn towards Allah.

7. Al-Qanu' — Contentment

Number seven: al-Qanu' — we become content with whatever we have. Where Imam al-Shafi'i rahimahu Allah — the scholar who traveled the entire world, an eloquent man, a poet, and one of the greatest fuqaha that the world has ever seen — would say:

When you become a person who is content with what they have and you stop looking at what people have, you and the king of the world are equal — because you already have that which he is searching for. And that is peace of heart and a peace of mind.

8. Al-Rida' bil-Kafaf — Happiness with What You Have

Number eight: وَالرِّضَاءُ بِالْكَفَافِ — we learn how to be happy with whatever we have around us. So this is a supplement to al-qanu'.

9 & 10. Nafd al-Basr bi-'Uyub al-Dunya — Understanding the Flaws of Dunya

And the last one: وَنُفُوذُ الْبَصَرِ بِعُيُوبِ الدُّنْيَا — you start understanding the flaws of dunya and you start realizing the greatness of Allah. That our eyes, our mind, and our talents are now understanding that we should be using these things for our afterlife and not only for this life. Because this life is so small and so fragile that something as insignificant as a virus can stop the entire world.

And now the time of isolation will finish at ease in our home. But then the time of خَالِدِينَ فِيهَا أَبَدًا takes place — that we live in one place forever — and either that place is Jannah or, we seek refuge in Allah from that, the fire of Jahannam.

Closing: Implementing the Sunnah of Muhasabah

So may Allah make us amongst those that can benefit from the blessings of being alone. And the greatest blessing of being alone is that we have time to self-reflect. And this was not a sunnah that our Prophet or the Sahabas took lightly — but rather this was a sunnah that they owned. That they made sure that they implemented it all throughout their lives.

And it has been said about Abdullah ibn Mas'ud radiyaAllahu anhu that on a daily basis we would find him locked up in a room. And we would wonder: what is he doing in that room? And one day finally we got inside that room and we saw under a pillow there was a paper — and on that paper it was written: remember that you're just an Abdullah of Allah. You're just a slave of Allah. Even though people know you to be such a great Sahabi and such a great Qari and such a great jurist — you're just a slave of Allah. Sometimes that is important for us so that we can realize that if we're just a slave of Allah, everything we have is a blessing from Allah.

The student of Ali ibn Dhumrah would say about his teacher: I would find him in the middle of the night sitting in the mihrab — the corner inside of the masjid that is closed off. Like in i'tikaf, where we're in the masjid already closed off but then also closed off a little more with a partition. So he's in the corner of the masjid and that part is also covered — he doesn't know I'm there. And when I see him sitting there, يُخَاطِبُ نَفْسَهُ — he's talking to himself. And he's allowing the deeds of the day to be presented to him so he can weigh them and understand whether or not he is doing a good job, or whether his business is earning a profit and a good revenue, or his business is cutting out a loss. And he's able to realize which limb he has to work on. Does he have to work on his eyes? Or his feet? His tongue? His hands?

Just like how in a business company, the CEO or the people running the company know that this department needs more help — let me work on them, or let me work on this employee. Similarly, we should know which employee of our aql — which are our limbs — needs to be worked on, so we can figure out a better way to please Allah.

And these times, we don't take them as a form of difficulty. Rather, we take them as a form of a blessing — that we're able to implement so many more new sunnah in our life that we never even thought about before. And amongst them is muhasabah.

I spoke about ten of the benefits of muhasabah. Insha'Allah, these benefits will be written in the description. So please try to implement them and try to see them while you're alone at home with your family, and try to tell your families about them so they also feel good about the time that they're in right now.

May Allah bless us all and give us the ability to continue pleasing the great Allah that we have — who is taking care of us in this difficult time — and give us the ability to continue increasing in our ilm and our a'mal. And hopefully we see you next week. As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.