True Strength Comes From Allah | From Trial to Triumph Ep. 10

Continuing from Ayah 23: The Plot Against Yusuf

We continue from ayah number 23, where we started the discussion last week. Where Allah is referring to what the wife of this minister plotted against Yusuf عليه السلام:

I spoke about this in the last session — رَاوَدَ essentially comes from the original word of إِرَادَة, so she intended with heavy intent and with desire Yusuf عليه السلام. With that she also planned something out where she locked all the doors — وَغَلَّقَتِ الْأَبْوَابَ — and she closed any opportunity of turning back. And she turned towards Yusuf عليه السلام and invited him towards herself — وَقَالَتْ هَيْتَ لَكَ.

The first thing that he says is مَعَاذَ اللَّهِ, which I talked about last session. مَعَاذَ اللَّهِ is the beginning of a person's journey turning away from a sin.

Regardless of who you are — you can be a prophet, becoming a prophet like Yusuf عليه السلام, you can be living in America, you can be from the family of righteous parents or you can be from the family of non-practicing parents — regardless of who you are, the system of this world is such that we will be tested with sins as well. And the opportunity of sins being available for us. And the opportunity of it actually being attractive for us. Not simply because of the moment, but because of Shaytan's promise of وَلَأُمَنِّيَنَّهُمْ وَلَآمُرَنَّهُمْ — that he will make us feel like it will open up opportunities that will not be otherwise opened up without haram. Whether that's haram income, haram relationships, haram conversations, whatever it may be.

So in the moment that a person is trialed by an opportunity of haram — which will take place, an opportunity of compromise — how does a person, at the height, at the pinnacle of having this opportunity completely available for them, pull back? This person is not seeking it, it's available. Like how Yusuf عليه السلام wasn't seeking this opportunity, it became available for him. And there is every reason for him to cave in. And there are very few reasons for him — actually only one reason for him not to cave in, which is Allah. Every reason to cave in: he's a slave, he's not the one that's going to be embarrassed — she will be embarrassed. He's not the one that will be put to question — she will be put to question. She can use this as ammunition against him. Only one reason not to cave in.

A person is not given the sin, and the sin is not documented for them, until they actually commit the sin. Till that point, it's intention, it's a plan, but Allah does not hold us accountable for it until a person commits it. This is why a person being able to pull back from a sin is actually a form of reward — Allah writes a reward for a person who avoids the sin.

So how do people like yourself and myself — and anyone else as well — how do we gain control of ourselves in that opportunity of haram? We find four things that Yusuf عليه السلام did. In each of them, they compound and support one another.

The Four Things Yusuf Did to Resist Sin

1. Seeking Refuge in Allah — مَعَاذَ اللَّهِ

Ideally, we never want to be put in a situation where sin becomes that accessible to us. Ideally, we never want to be alone with the opposite gender in a room. Ideally, we never want to be in a car where haram is being listened to. Ideally. But if a person does get stuck in a situation — like how he did — here are the four things.

Number one: مَعَاذَ اللَّهِ. Which essentially means how we say أَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ every single time we recite the Qur'an. That I seek refuge in Allah. Which means: O Allah, I recognize that I do not have the power, the strength — I don't have the capability of doing anything. I need You to help me change. I need You to protect me from this situation. Because me, myself, I don't have the power to protect myself.

The first thing that we are taught is to understand that we are weak.

And the strength to change is not found within ourselves independently — it's found in ourselves with our reliance upon Allah.

O Allah, there's nothing in life that is easy except for that which You make easy. We often times hear motivational speakers saying things like, "You can change, you have the power to change." No you don't, no I don't. The power to change comes from Allah. So the first is مَعَاذَ اللَّهِ — O Allah, I need Your help. O Allah, there's no situation that is too large and too big for You to handle. مَعَاذَ اللَّهِ — O Allah, I need Your support right now. That's the first thing that he did.

2. Reflecting on the People Who Love You

Number two: إِنَّهُ رَبِّي أَحْسَنَ مَثْوَايَ — which means, verily my master has been excellent with me in my stay in his house. The master meaning the person who purchased him, whose wife now is attempting to make him fall into this sin. In that moment, he says this — that my master has excelled in his hospitality towards me in every way. He has treated me far greater than a slave, and nothing less than a son. He's been so good to me — that in itself is enough of a deterrent for me to commit this sin.

So what's the second thing we recognize? The second thing we recognize in the face of the opportunity of haram is far more realistic and pragmatic, and it's not necessarily only spiritual. The first one is taqwa — مَعَاذَ اللَّهِ is taqwa, having taqwa. But taqwa in itself is not enough because الْإِيمَانُ يَزِيدُ وَيَنْقُصُ — it goes up and it comes down. So the other three elements are what support taqwa. Of course the base of it has to be taqwa — if the person doesn't have the base of taqwa, then none of these other elements will actually have an impact.

The second thing that he did, by remembering his master, is for us — what we take from that — is to reflect upon how this sin will impact the people in your life that have helped you, served you, and rely upon you. How this will impact people who love you. If I was to commit such and such a sin, how would this impact my parents? How would this impact my family members, my spouse, my children, my closest colleagues?

Shaytan wants to put a shroud and a cover over our ability to reflect so that we don't think about these things. Because if we have the power to think about it, normally we'll have the power to resist the temptation. How will this affect the people who I love the most? How will this affect my mother?

A lot of times when a person does something wrong and the consequences take place, they're asked: what were you thinking when you did it? And the first thing they say is: I wasn't thinking. That's Shaytan. This is why these slogans like "Just Do It" — the irony in them is pretty clear. "Just do it" is a good thing, meaning be confident. But it's also the worst slogan you can teach a child — which is: don't think about it, just do it, it's okay, we'll deal with the consequences later. Instant gratification.

So the second is to reflect. And I find this to be very, very powerful. Especially if you're a person that has these relationships — this is why we're social beings. Having these relationships are so important. Being raised with parents is the greatest ni'mah, because you have this relationship. There are people who don't have this relationship. This is why people who have nothing to lose — of course everyone has a lot to lose, but if they believe that they have nothing to lose — it becomes far more difficult for them to resist opportunities of haram. Because they don't have that layer of reflection: how will this affect my parents? They don't have their parents with them. How will this affect my children? Maybe they're not with them. How will this affect my siblings? Maybe they don't even know who their siblings are. So it becomes very difficult to use something which you've never had.

This is why the blessing of family is the greatest ni'mah. Allah refers to it as سَكِينَة and رَحْمَة, because it allows a person to obey Allah better. Getting married is not half of your deen — being married is half of a person's deen, because it allows a person to fulfill half of their obligations, and it closes off at least half of the opportunities of haram from their life. So it allows them to grow in their relationship with Allah because of the fact that they now have a family.

So that second is to reflect upon how this impacts the people that love you the most in your life. And I challenge you — if we have some level of taqwa, the second deterrent will be enough for us to stop. "This will be too much for my dad." That's number two.

And Allah said:

An oppressor, despite how well they present themselves in the world, will never be given the title of successful. A zalim, regardless of how well they present themselves in the office of the world, they will never be successful. A zalim and an oppressor at every tier will always be a failure in the books of Allah. And here the zulm is not referring to a person taking something away from you — the zulm over here is actually taking away from the commandments of Allah. That's a zulm. The greatest injustice is shirk:

Ayah 24: The Proof from His Lord

Indeed — and I'll translate very loosely, then we'll come back — indeed, she had a هَمّ for him. She had intent towards him. She desired him. وَهَمَّ بِهَا — and if it was not for the fact that he saw a proof from Allah, he would have also desired her.

I'll translate very clearly so no one finds it to be confusing, because people have understood this verse in two different ways. One is to say that the wife of the Aziz — whose name is seen to be Zuleikha — desired Yusuf. Understood — she's not a prophet, she's never going to be a prophet. But the second part is وَهَمَّ بِهَا — that he also desired her, and he was able to hold back because he saw something that Allah showed him. There's nothing wrong with that translation either.

And that's understood — yes, this was an opportunity. He's not a prophet because he didn't have inclination towards haram. He's a prophet because he was able to protect himself from that inclination. And this is a very nuanced approach of understanding it — that regardless of how spiritual and religious a person is, when these opportunities of haram open up, just because you have a strong backing of taqwa doesn't mean that it won't be attractive to you anymore. If you put your guard down, you will slip. It will be a sign of an unintelligent person to believe that their insurance policy of iman is strong enough for them to resist temptations of haram. Never.

This is why regardless of if you're the biggest, greatest, most pious person in the world, you can never be opening yourself up to opportunities of haram and relying upon — no, my taqwa is enough, I can handle this. You're playing with fire. So the rulings in Islam don't change based on your position. Rulings don't change. The etiquettes change, rulings don't change.

So it's possible that when you're sitting in the car and someone's playing something haram, you're like — you know what, I like listening to it — but then you stop. So the story becomes far more relatable to all of us. Because if he had no desire to it, then obviously it wasn't a big deal for him to hold back and pull himself back to the reality of what was happening. But the fact that there was an inclination, and then he was able to catch himself and gather his thoughts — and to become rational at that moment and not emotional — is a sign of his strength, of taqwa. Which every one of us will deal with.

I'm sure a lot of you — and those who are watching later on — I would hope, at least those who are sitting here, I don't think when we walk into a convenience store and walk by the alcohol section, we say "Oh my God, this is so hard, man." Alhamdulillah, we're blessed. But there will be other sins in life that will be hard for us to resist. For someone, it might be the alcohol. For someone, it might be something else. For someone, it might be being alone in isolation. For someone, it might be relationships with the opposite gender. For someone, it might be music. For someone, it might be protecting their eyes.

But the human nature is:

That every person will have certain weaknesses that they have to learn how to conquer — or to at least identify — and learn how to grow from. "Conquer" is a big word. This is a journey. The Prophet ﷺ said that if you commit the same sin 70 times in one day, Allah will still forgive you. It's a journey. But at least we identify. Identifying that a person has diabetes is the first step — if you can't even identify what's causing the issues, then you're running in circles.

So if there is a weakness — which there will be — now to pull back is what allows a person to act upon the story of Yusuf عليه السلام. Someone saying "Alhamdulillah, I can walk through a convenience store and never look at the alcohol" — that's not special, because you're blessed. That's not your weakness. You're aiming to use a metric that doesn't relate to you. Your metric is other things that you're dealing with in your own life.

So that's one understanding of the ayah. And this is shared in all the major works of tafsir — that he was actually there, there was intent, but then he was able to pull back because of the proof that he saw from Allah.

The stronger inclination of the mufassirun is to say the second: that if it was not for the fact that he saw the proof from his Lord, he would have had intent towards her. Essentially it ends with the same outcome — that he was able to resist — but the framing changes. As a prophet, to even have an inclination towards haram is considered a challenging conclusion. But the first opinion is not only viable — it is mentioned within all the famous classical books of tafsir. The second is given preference because of how the ayah is written and revealed.

بُرْهَان means proof. He saw a proof, a sign from Allah. What does that mean for us? If I did not see what happened to this person right in front of me, who took whatever he took, I would have probably done it too. But since I saw the person and the harm that it caused him or her, I am able to resist and hold back myself. Or: I was inclined towards eating that, but then I saw my father there — I can't eat it anymore.

So the proof — the حُجَّة, the بُرْهَان — is what held him back. And that's a positive thing. Sometimes it might be a friend — your friend was there and you say, you know what, I'm not going to do this because my friend is there. That's a بُرْهَان. بُرْهَان refers to any element of proof that reminds you of Allah. Anything that reminds you of Allah in that moment can serve as a بُرْهَان — maybe a parent, maybe your friend. And this is the beauty of having these relationships — they have a presence of deterring you from committing a sin.

There comes a point in someone's life where even those relationships are not seen as deterrence, because a person just doesn't care. It's what the Prophet ﷺ said:

If you lose the ability of having حَيَاء, then do as you wish, because nothing can stop you. People will say, "No, I commit these sins and mistakes," and you ask them, "Why don't you at least be careful in front of your parents and the people around you?" And they say, "No, I don't like to change — I am the way I am." That's not a positive thing. It's a very dangerous thing.

Changing and protecting oneself from sin in the presence of other people is not insincerity — it is the definition of sincerity. It's called حَيَاء. Doing something because someone is watching you is insincerity. Not doing something — meaning, protecting myself from haram because my father is watching me — is sincerity. It's not like — that's Shaytan, that's Iblis. This is the way I am. It's like someone dressing the same way at home and at work — no, you're not. The reason why you dress more formally at work is because you're sincere to your job and you care for it. There's a difference. And not allowing those people to serve as a deterrent is literally the last piece that protects us. So if we lose that, there's no حَيَاء, and then nothing can protect us.

And that's the point when a person begins to justify their haram to be okay — because they're so deep. And they're like, "Yeah, I don't even think this is haram. I'm not sure if the hadith is referring to this. I think maybe the hadith is referring to something else."

3. Recognizing Your Reputation

So the third thing that he does is رَأَى بُرْهَانَ رَبِّهِ — he sees a proof from his Lord. In Tafsir Ibn Kathir, and others narrate — what does this بُرْهَان mean? What did he see? This is pretty profound.

They say that as he was standing there in this moment, and the opportunity that had opened itself up for haram was there, he saw an image — like he saw an image of his father. And his father, Ya'qub عليه السلام, was standing there and biting on his nails — in one narration. In another narration, his father — again, an image, not real — was saying: don't do this, don't do this. That's one of the narrations that refers to بُرْهَانَ رَبِّهِ.

And it's pretty interesting. As human beings, if we only build physical relationships, they're very temporal. But if you build spiritual relationships, even when you're absent from that person, the spiritual connection plays a role in their life — as the Prophet's ﷺ presence does within all of us. There's a physical absence, but the spiritual connection is powerful enough to motivate us to follow his ﷺ sunnah. So if parents build only a physical relationship with their children, the moment their kids go to college or go out on their own, that presence is now not there and there's no spiritual connection. So now, okay, forget it — it doesn't make any difference.

We live in a time where people are so worried — parents are so worried — about how their children will be when they're not there. And the promise of Allah is: look, if you take care of your children while you are there, your absence — though physical — will not be felt in regards to the spiritual realm. Even when they're away from you, you're in their head. You play a role in their life. When they're making a decision, they're thinking about you as well. Even though there's a physical absence, there's a presence spiritually.

This is why in our deen we have different tiers of relationships — one is physical, one is emotional, and the other is spiritual. If I don't build a spiritual relationship with my children, or my friends, or whoever I'm responsible for, then my physical absence will be the end of all of my relationship.

So he sought the proof of his father. How do we understand this? How do we understand the third tier that protects a person from sins? The first one was: rely on Allah — you have to have a presence of Allah in your life. The second was: how will it impact the loved ones around you — which forces you to think. The third one is equally important: is to actually reflect upon your reputation.

Why was the father the proof? Because now you say, "Oh my God, I have a reputation to keep." And if your own reputation is not enough — because you've chosen not to build it yourself, which would be the flaw within the person himself — as human beings living in the world, we're expected to build a reputation of honesty and integrity. That's why the Prophet ﷺ was known as الصَّادِق الأَمِين before he became a prophet. You're expected to build a reputation. If a person has no reputation, he has nothing to fall for — "like if I get seen doing this, what difference would it make? I'm a nobody anyway."

This is why it's so important — and I can't emphasize the importance of this more — to have external good deeds that people know about. External and internal good deeds. To be recognized in tahajjud by Allah where no one is will also be recognized in the masjid where everyone sees you. Because if a person doesn't have the external optics of Islam and the external presence of what they represent, and they only have the internal element — having reputation — there's nothing there, because no one knows who you are. Like if a person knows you're the one who prays 20 rak'aat every night, now there's a reputation to keep. And it's not called being insincere — it's called building all of the fortresses that can protect me at the opportunity of haram. Having a reputation is one of the major fortresses that a person should have in their life.

This is why traveling alone — for male or for female — can be detrimental to a person's faith. Dorming in universities or colleges where no one knows you — not can be, will be — detrimental to your faith. Whether or not you accept it or you deny it, it's the reality of how things work. Now how detrimental — that's something between a person and their relationship with Allah. But it will be detrimental, because now you don't have a reputation to keep.

This is what the Prophet ﷺ taught us — that when you travel to a new city, the first thing that a person does in that new city is ask for the righteous people of that city and meet them. You pretty much announce that you're there. You literally announce: I'm here. So that those people can keep an eye out for you and around you. They're there to protect you in a very passive form, because now they know who you are.

The external element of good can never be removed from the life of a Muslim. This is why we have salah at day and at night — meaning Dhuhr and Asr, and Fajr and Maghrib and Isha. Three are in the dark, two are in the light, because our presence needs to be with both. This is why the Prophet ﷺ encouraged us to give charity in secrecy and to give charity openly. The Prophet ﷺ encouraged us to fast, but he also encouraged us to be charitable for those who are fasting. So that the deeds of a person are balanced.

Now I understand that in today's time the emphasis is always put upon having deeds in private, because all of us have deeds in public. But having deeds in private is not a substitute for having good deeds in public — it's an add-on, it's an addition to it. If a person only has public good deeds and no private, they should fear hypocrisy. But if a person only has private good deeds and no public, they have no reputation to uphold.

But if a person hasn't worked on that, at least reflect upon the reputation of your family — like how he did. My father is a prophet. His father is a prophet. My entire lineage is prophets. This ain't gonna happen. He pulls back.

And if a person doesn't even have the power — this is why I see the beauty of having family. If a person doesn't have that — imagine a person trying to use this as a deterrent, but they're like, "What are you talking about, my family's reputation? It's horrible. I'm not going to make it worse — I'm like a drop in the ocean." So parents have a responsibility. And I'll share with you — one time a youngster's father came and complained about his son having certain challenges. When I spoke to the youngster, he said — and I'm not justifying what the youngster said was right, I'm just sharing with you how important it is for the father and the mother to create their reputation in the household — the youngster responded by saying: every time I open up the middle compartment in my father's car, all I see is lottery tickets. Should he really be lecturing me?

It's not justified, by the way. Two wrongs don't make a right. Just because you're struggling with something does not mean that you are not allowed to advise others for that which they're struggling with. If that was the case, then all of us should have been mute our whole lives. Of course we advise each other even if we're struggling with it — but we want to get better ourselves. But this is why the reputation of the family plays a role in the child feeling the pressure of upholding it.

And you have it in the Western world, you have it in the secular world, you have it in the academic world — because my father and mother were such and such a person at this university, I also have a standard to keep. Because my family's name is this, I have a standard to keep. So it should be in the system of Islam as well.

He sees his father. He realizes the reputation that he has to upkeep. It serves to protect him from committing a sin. Now if the family reputation is not enough and it's not serving as a mitigating factor — then, my dear friends, the least that we have is a reputation of being a Muslim. The least that we have. And this is where the importance of external sunnah comes into our life.

For the brothers at least — whatever external sunnah allows you to be identifiable as a Muslim, whether it's your name, the way you dress, whatever it is. For sisters, of course — the presence of hijab, and all of these identifiable qualifying factors that people understand that you're a Muslim. You want to protect yourself from sin out of respect for the reputation of what you're representing.

A person who works for a company may commit a certain mistake, but not whilst they're wearing the badge of that company — because they know that if I'm wearing this badge and I commit this mistake, it's even worse. You have athletes who will never commit certain mistakes in the public eye because of the fact that they're representing a team. But if they're not representing that team at that moment, they talk differently, they walk differently, they interact differently — because now they're not representing their team.

We're always representing Allah. Because Allah says that every moment a believer is a prime representative of Allah and His Prophet. Now, for example, if I have the opportunity of committing that sin when I'm wearing a hijab — or from the brother's perspective, with a presence of sunnah in my life — I'm representing the Prophet ﷺ at this moment. I don't think I can compromise myself. The greatest source of protection is sunnah, because in that moment even though it's available and I'm enticed by it, I can't disrespect — I'm going to hold back.

So: reputation of yourself. Reputation of your family. Reputation of Islam. All three of these play a role. Most of us will preserve our integrity because of the fact that we want to keep our jobs, because we're representing the spaces that we work in. Greater than all of that is your own reputation that you built and you invested in. Then the reputation of your family. And thirdly, the reputation of being a Muslim. But if you can't be identified as a Muslim, then you don't feel like you're compromising the reputation of being a Muslim.

So the third thing that he did was recognize that he had a reputation to upkeep. Make sense?

Allah then says — and this is how He deterred him, and this is how He deters people from sins and fahsha, open sins, major sins:

What do we find from this? The نون is referring to "We" as in Allah. This is how We remove people from the situation of falling into a sin — meaning that it doesn't happen without Allah's support. That a person is able to turn from the sin that they're committing because Allah is turning them from it and Allah is removing them from that opportunity. And then Allah says: verily Yusuf عليه السلام was from the chosen, selected slaves of Ours — he was chosen to be protected, i.e. that he was to become a prophet.

Ayah 25: The Fourth Thing — Making a Move

I mentioned there were four things that he did. So far I've only mentioned three. The fourth thing is in the next verse, ayah number 25, where Allah says:

They both raced towards the door. وَقَدَّتْ قَمِيصَهُ — she attempted to grab onto his shirt from the back. And as he's running and she's attempting to grab his shirt from the back, the door opens and suddenly her master — meaning the husband — was present, standing at that door.

The Fourth Thing: Make a Move

What's the fourth thing? The first three — their presence is necessary — but it's purely philosophy and rationale. Like you have to think about it, it is good to think about it, but it's not actually enacting anything. It's creating these layers of protection, but there's no actual call to action yet. The fourth one is the most important one. And if a person doesn't have the first three but they have the fourth one, they'll be safe in their life.

What's the fourth one? Making a move. Make a move.

A person sits there saying: "I know, man — Allah, protect me from this." And: "Yeah, man, I don't know how this is going to affect my parents. Oh God." But they just sit there. There's no benefit. It literally means nothing. You're just making yourself feel better by thinking about it, but you're not really doing anything.

The famous story of the man who killed 99 people — the hadith in Sahih Muslim — he killed 99 people. And then he goes to the worshipper, not a scholar, and says, "I killed 99 people — will Allah forgive me?" And the worshipper, who was not a scholar, says, "No, Allah will not forgive you. You killed 99 people. You're finished." The man says, "Well, if I'm already finished, I might as well take care of you too," and he kills 100. Then he goes to the shaykh, the learned person, who says, "Well, if there's any chance for you to be forgiven, it will start from you leaving this town. It will start from you leaving this city. Until you don't leave, there is no chance for you to be forgiven."

(Sahih Muslim, Book 37, Hadith 6662)

A person wants to commit to tawbah but does not want to remove themselves from that friend circle — that's not sincere tawbah. That's pacifying. That's pacifying ourselves due to our own limited strength. It's not sincere. That's why Allah says:

O believers, repent to Allah a sincere repentance. نَصُوحًا is to do three things: have regret, do istighfar, and number three — leave all of those factors that pulled you towards a sin. If I know that sitting in the car with this person means that I will have to listen to haram, I will not sit with him anymore. That's called نَصُوحًا. If I know that being present at that table in the wedding will cause me to backbite, I won't sit with those friends. That's called نَصُوحًا.

The fourth thing is making a move. Often times we will say to ourselves there is no move to make — like this is the only option I have. And remind yourself through this story: there is something you can do. And I ask you to reflect on this and think about this on your own time as well. This is why we study Qur'an — because it should urge us and encourage us to do self-reflection, especially in the moments that you and I struggle with these things.

There was actually no reason for Yusuf to run. The door was locked, and all seven of the doors were locked. Him running was insanity — there was no reason for him to run. Sometimes I will say, "Well, I had no choice, I had to sit with those friends." You can only open up the other door when you leave this room. I have no other window — yes you do. First leave this one, then you will see what Allah opens up for you. If we expect to see the window of permissible opportunities to be there whilst we're in the haram, it will never happen, because the haram blinds us.

It's like the people of Bani Israel when Musa عليه السلام said to them: all you have to do is enter the land of Baitul Maqdis, the promised land. Just enter. And the moment you enter, Allah will take care of this tyrant group of people — the Jaloot — who are so large in might. And they said: no, no, no — first have Allah take care of them, then we will enter. Obedience towards Allah can never be conditional upon a miracle that we want to see in our life, because obedience to Allah is already the pre-existing default norm that we have in our life.

A miracle can be a jolt. This is why our Ummah does not really have miracles like the previous nations — we have the Qur'an. It's a living miracle. "I had no option" — the opportunity of halal will open up once you leave. Or at least begin the journey of leaving the haram. Then Allah will open up the permissible opportunity for us.

He ran to a locked door. If I don't sit with those people, then I will have no friends to sit with — it's okay. When you sit alone, someone will follow you and sit with you too. Start somewhere — someone will join you. But you gotta leave that first.

There is no tawbah without leaving the causes that lead towards the sins. If I know my weakness is having my phone in my room alone — don't take your phone into your room. It's not tawbah if I say أَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّه but still commit myself to taking the phone in the room every single day. It's not tawbah — it's pacifying. Pacifying one's guilt. Which is fine — we're weak, we'll keep trying. But what allowed the strength of Yusuf to protect himself from a sin that was so attractive and available was this fourth thing: that he ran to a locked door. He ran to an opportunity that was not there. But the moment he ran there, Allah opened it up for him.

Would his innocence have been proven without running to the door? Why not? His shirt would not have been ripped from the back if he had just stood there. We don't wait — we run away. He literally ran away. The word وَاسْتَبَقَا means that she raced him — that's how quick he ran. The word implies that his shirt, if a person walks away from the sin, and she grabbed his shirt, it would not have been ripped — she would have pulled it, but it wouldn't have been ripped. The only reason his shirt was ripped is because he ran to the door.

I want to stand there and say that I want to change my life and commit to tawbah, but I want to walk away from the sin. Every step that I'm taking forward — away from the sin — I'm taking two steps back towards the sin. The process is to run. Just run — cold turkey. Run away from it. And in that there is difficulty as well. But that at least makes the attempt genuine and sincere.

Run. If someone sitting here is struggling with any haram — whatever it is — this is the process. And we will still struggle with it, and we're not prophets. But at least we have a model and a manual to control ourselves from taking that dip and not making steps to move away from that situation that we're always in. You have to run away. We run away from that opportunity. We don't look at it, review it. If it's haram, I don't look at the pros and cons. It's haram — that's it. The business is haram — let me look at the pros and cons? There is no pros and cons — it's only cons.

"Oh my God, Islam is so difficult." No it's not. When I commit to it, Allah will open up another opportunity for me. And if not — that's the qadr of my life. The decree of my life will not change through haram. It will only become more difficult to concede to the fact that Allah is in control. I'll say it again: the decree of your life will not change through the opportunities of haram. It will only make it more difficult to concede to the fact that Allah is in control.

When a person looks for haram opportunities, it's because they're not content with Allah's decree for them. That's exactly why they do it. Why would a person look at haram income? Because they're not content with the halal income that is in their decree. Why would a person turn towards a haram relationship? Because they're not content with the decree that Allah gave. This is why that is one of the greatest forms of being ungrateful to Allah — the decree of Allah. Recognizing it and conceding yourself to it is what allows a person to know that haram is not an option for them.

This is why, when a person is content, it allows them to sway away from so many sins. As they say, "curiosity kills a cat" — curiosity can lead to worse. Many doors, many windows that pull a person away from Allah. Contentment. Being content should not be synonymous with not being hardworking or having a growth mindset — no, I have all of that. Being content means that I'm content with the results, not the effort. I want to make more effort — I'm content with the results.

The Door Opens: Principle Over Personality

So he runs towards the door. The husband opens the door. Before Yusuf عليه السلام could speak — he's traumatized right now. He literally was about to be taken advantage of. Imagine what he's dealing with in his head. Right when the door opens, the wife speaks up first. She says: what should be the outcome and the consequence, the repercussions, for one who intended to harm your family — to do bad to your family, to take advantage of your spouse? She's saying this to her husband. Except that they should be imprisoned or given a painful punishment.

Just because you spoke first does not make you the victim. Just because you were loud first doesn't make you the victim. Just because you have a bigger social media presence doesn't make you the victim. And just because you're male or female doesn't make you a victim. A victim and a culprit is not defined by any of those things — it's defined by the facts. She spoke up first. She had the biggest presence. She had all the lawyers. She controlled everything. She controlled the media — like how the genociders attempted to do in the beginning of the genocide. Because they controlled everything. They cried wolf first. And people who lacked intelligence or lacked the ability to find the correct information would concede to that, because whoever cries first and speaks out first and controls the outlets — you would believe that they are the victim.

But when the reality comes and the dust settles, you're able to recognize truth from falsehood. But sometimes it's too late. Speaking up for it — we don't need to wait. "I'll speak up for it when I'm more comfortable." Allah won't need you then. Allah doesn't need us anyway. So if I'm waiting for the moment to speak up for the truth, I'm wasting my time. When that time comes, Allah won't need you to speak up for the truth — your voice won't be used for it. There were people who were leaders of Mecca who became Muslims after the Fath of Mecca — they weren't used at that capacity because they were too late for that. Allah's timing is perfect.

So she spoke up first. She played the victim card first perfectly — she had it drawn up perfectly. This is why our deen always teaches us to hear both sides of the story. This is why our deen teaches us to follow the facts. It forces us to remove bias by remaining consistent with the process. It forces us to remove the bias by being consistent with the facts.

If it was just emotions, the husband would have no choice but to stand with his wife, because it made more sense socially and it made more sense internally — for him, in dealing with his own insecurity — that it would make more sense for me to believe that Yusuf was the one that committed this mistake. Just because you spoke up first doesn't make you the victim. Just because you stayed quiet doesn't make you the opposite either. The truth will always be with the facts.

The truth is always the loudest voice in the room. Being loud is not synonymous to being heard. And being silent is not synonymous to being weak. After all, it is the whispers of the night that make the greatest impact. She was loud, but she wasn't heard. Just because you're loud doesn't mean that you're heard by people. Just because you're physically present doesn't mean that you're being noticed.

She spoke up first. And Allah proved that he was innocent. And Allah didn't prove — next week, insha'Allah, we'll continue — Allah didn't prove that he was innocent by using his personality, like, "That is Yusuf — how could he commit such a sin?" No. Allah proved his innocence by teaching us how to prove innocence to people till today — by following a due process. His shirt was ripped from the back.

People could have said — if the process wasn't given to us — people could have said Yusuf was just proven to be innocent because he was Yusuf. Allah said: no, no, no — he's proven to be innocent because the facts prove it. Meaning: principle over personality. Principle over personality. This is what the story of Yusuf proves to us. Allah could have just said "Yusuf is innocent." He said: no, no, no — let me show you why he's innocent. Because there's an accusation now, so I have to show you why he's innocent.