MUFTI AZEEMUDDIN AHMED | Guest Speaker | Fajar Khatira

Ramadan: The Month of Leaving Sin

Honorable respected brothers and sisters, dear guests of the house of Allah. السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

As we have alhamdulillah completed a full week of taraweeh and almost a week of fasting, naturally all of us are wondering to what degree have I achieved the spiritual benefits of this blessed month. Every one of us is taking a task, taking himself and checking to what degree has my spirituality increased in the past week. To what degree has my heart turned towards Allah and away from those things which Allah has asked us to stay away from.

And as we begin to reflect on our own inner selves, a person will realize that fasting and taraweeh and qiyam al-layl and recitation of the Quran and abundance of visiting to the house of Allah has immense benefits on our spirituality. Has a great role in bringing ourselves, connecting to Allah. But we will also realize that that is not it. That only fasting — apparently staying away from food and drink and marital relations — and staying awake at night standing in qiyam, or even doing an all-nighter like many of the qiyams we have, is not the only thing that will push ourselves to Allah. It is not the only thing that is sufficient in bringing us closer to Allah.

Ramadan Is About Leaving What Is Prohibited

Many times we see that there is another whole dimension that must be taken care of if we want to be continuing on our journey towards Allah. And that is the aspect of leaving out things. Ramadan is much more about leaving things than maybe even doing things.

Ramadan is about tarkul manahi — Ramadan is about leaving those things which have been prohibited by Allah. And the ulema have said that fa'ilut ta'at — to do a lot of good deeds — everyone can do this. This is not difficult. Create a cohesive strong culture and you can get people to stand for hours on end. You can get people to do tawaf for hours on end. Create a culture and environment that is conducive to an ibadah and we will see, all of a sudden overnight, you will have triple, quadruple of what you expect in Isha, double of what you expect in Fajr. And people will be standing for hours on end.

But what the ulema say is that leaving out sin — this is much more difficult. Giving up bad habits, breaking those habits, is a much more difficult thing for a person to achieve. And this is something that only those who are truthful in their love for Allah are the ones capable of doing.

My beloved friends, dear guests of the house of Allah, Ramadan is a moment for us to reflect on the changes that we wanted to have for all these years but may not have been able to achieve. It is a moment for us to see how much have we changed from last Ramadan to this Ramadan. As we witness, hundreds from amidst us are no longer here — across the globe and even within our own communities. My friends, we don't know if this will be our last Ramadan or if we'll get a few more in front of us. But the key thing is we have to treat it as though it's our last. And if it's our last — if we knew definitely that this is our last — every one of us would make an effort to bring change. Would make an effort to get rid of those bad habits that we have been carrying along with us for sometimes decades, for sometimes years.

Protecting the Limbs from Disobedience

Respected friends, fasting — as much as it is to keep the mouth shut from eating and drinking throughout the day — it is most definitely equally important to keep all the rest of the limbs protected from disobedience of Allah. And that means, number one, keeping the eyes from watching haram, from looking at haram, and then everything else.

Allah has mentioned in the Qur'an, the verse which I recited:

"Do not even come close to fornication — it is an act of lewdness, and it is a horrible path to lead one's life on." This is the path that will take a person towards hellfire.

Zina is something which makes a person deprived of iman. The hadith states:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 2475; Sahih Muslim, Book 1, Hadith 100)

During that act of zina, a person is deprived of faith, a person is deprived of iman — from a very literal translation, that is what you get. And then the hadith explains:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6243; Sahih Muslim, Book 33, Hadith 6422)

The eyes commit zina. The heart commits zina. Zina is found within all different limbs of the body. And at the very end, the private part either comes in and checks every mark of what happened in the past and goes through the actual deed — Allah forbid — or stays back. But the fact that every single limb of the body has its share of it is deeply significant.

Allah Knows the Treachery of the Eyes

My brothers and sisters, that is why Allah, when He speaks about His might, His power and His knowledge in the Qur'an, He speaks about something that touches the heart. He says:

Allah is the One who knows the treachery of the eye. This is that one sensitive topic — the misuse of the eye — that a person will not share with his spouse, with his kids, with his parents, with his mentor. This is something really private. And Allah says: I know this. No one around you — the person you're walking next to, your own spouse — does not know where you're looking at and with what intention you're looking. But guess what? Your Lord knows that.

Your Lord knows not only خَائِنَةَ الْأَعْيُنِ — what your eyes have cast, where your eyes are focused — but also وَمَا تُخْفِي الصُّدُورُ — when you see what you see, what types of thoughts, what types of emotions are being evoked within yourself. Those thoughts, those whispers, those lustful desires are all under the watchful eye of Allah.

So then how can a person feel safe? How can a person feel that Allah is unaware and I can just act it out? We can act it out in front of each other. But we can never deceive Almighty Allah, who knows us in and out.

The Protection of the Gaze

My beloved brothers and sisters, the month of Ramadan is a month in which we have to train ourselves to curb all of those social ills that we have, spiritual ills that we have, diseases of the heart that we have. And at the top of what the scholars write is the protection of the gaze. The gaze is one of the largest doors to the heart. Whatever a person watches, it will go into the heart.

Just like we are conscious — and should be conscious — of what we eat. A person should not only stay away from poisonous food and super unhealthy food, but a person should also stay away from unnecessary eating. A person should not just munch throughout the night in Ramadan or throughout the day outside of Ramadan. Eating useless, unnecessary calories is something we will all agree does nothing but harm. And so similarly, we are not only supposed to keep our eyes away from that which is clearly prohibited, but we are supposed to keep our eyes protected from fudhulun nazr — from those things which are unnecessary. We are not supposed to even look at things that do not give us any benefit in this world or the next. We are not supposed to raise our eyes and look at those things which create nothing but desire for more material things or lustful desires within the heart.

And so this is the training that the Qur'an gives us. When Allah says:

Believing men and women have separately been ordered to lower their gaze — because this is one of your main doorways and gateways to the heart.

The Heart Is Like a Pond

Just as Imam Ghazali (rahimahullah) mentions — from amongst many things — that the heart is like a pond that has four streams flowing into it. The water that comes through these four streams will make the pond either clean or dirty. One of those inlets to that pond, one of those inlets to that lake — the heart — is the eyes, the ears, the tongue, and the mind, the thoughts.

If we have clean eyes, if we have clean ears, if we have a clean tongue, then we will have clean thoughts, and this will lead to a قَلْبٌ سَلِيمٌ — a clean heart. Otherwise, all our actions externally may seem very good and righteous. But if we allow filth to be fed into our heart through these four avenues, unfortunately we will be suffering from a very sick heart.

A Wali of Allah Through Guarding the Gaze

Brothers and sisters, the month of Ramadan is a moment for all of us to reflect on to what degree have I worked on my spiritual strength to be able to keep my limbs protected.

Once a visiting scholar — rahimahullah — who has since passed away, he visited our country. He was transiting through the airport. Someone who was there at O'Hare, subhanAllah, told me that in Urdu the scholar said: "Wilaya — friendship with Allah — is lying on the ground here." So those who came to receive him at the airport said, "Hazrat, you're in America, we don't understand what you're saying. You say wilaya, to become a friend of Allah, is on the ground — we think it's so hard to become a friend of Allah." He said, "Yes — you simply have to guard your gaze and you will become a wali of Allah in this country."

This is a story from about 25 years ago — long before smartphones were there. Now subhanAllah, a person can lower his gaze as much as he wants, but if he has got that phone in his pocket — like we all have, I have, you have — what happens then? What percentage of the crowd sitting here has blocked off all haram content on their phone? What percentage of the audience here can say that my house is 100% haram-proof? That no son or daughter of mine, while I'm at the masjid, can be misusing my laptop or my iPad at home. No one can be misusing their mom's phone. No child, no toddler, no adult in the room can be watching, in the Ramadan nights, that which is completely beyond the mind of a human — rather inspired by Iblis — such evilness that exists there.

The Phone Addiction Crisis in Our Homes

Exactly a month ago, I received a text message from a mother. She said, "I need to speak with you, I have trouble. I need help with my son." I called her and said, "How can I help?" She said, "I have a habit — every night at 10:30 or 10:45 p.m. I make rounds within the house and collect the phones from each of my children. I do not allow my kids to sleep with their phones in their room." I said, "MashaAllah sister, this is such a good thing that you do, such an important thing." But the next thing she said — her 21-year-old son, a college student who comes to the masjid, when she sent me his picture I recognized him — she said: "Yesterday I went to his room and said, 'Son, can I have the phone?' He looked me straight in the eyes and said, 'I'm going to kill you if you take my phone.'"

The mother retreated, afraid. She called me the next morning saying, "What do I do?" I said, "This is what you call the exact symptom of a drug addict." I have dealt with, and I continue to deal with, moms and dads whose children, unfortunately, are crack cocaine and heroin addicts. It is horrible. May Allah save us from ever having to face something like this. And may Allah grant ease and comfort to every single drug addict out there. May Allah allow them to get out of that habit. And may Allah give sabr, patience, and wisdom to their parents, siblings, and family members.

But drug addiction is something we have a stigma around — we can't believe it, we'll talk about it in the street. What we don't realize is that a cell phone addict is just as bad. A cell phone addict will also say to his mother, "I will kill you if you take my phone" — because this is something he cannot survive without. Those cell phone addicts and video game addicts are the ones found in almost every other home. Sitting in their rooms locked up on Ramadan nights. The lights never turn on. They come out once in a blue moon when everyone is sleeping, quickly eat something from the kitchen, and go back inside. If you ask their dad, "Where is your son?" — "I haven't seen him in weeks. Don't ask." No one knows. They're in the house, you can never see them — huddled up inside their room just watching continuously, screen after screen.

And Allah knows best — no one knows what they're watching. But subhanAllah, they're becoming a monster inside. Many of them are leaving Islam because of what they watch. Many of them, subhanAllah, lose their humanity because of what they watch. Wallahi, I say this in a masjid: I have met people who've told me to my face, "I have watched filth to such a degree that I no longer feel that my mother is safe around me."

How many of us understand to what degree this problem has gotten out of hand? How many of us realize that in every other home — if not every home — we have addicts, including many who are sitting here today? Not necessarily watching haram, but simply unable to function without constantly looking at their phone. Unable to have a conversation with their mom and dad, with their wife, with their husband, without having the phone in their hand, without constantly checking something.

My dear friends, this is unnatural. This is unbefitting of a human being — unbefitting of a believer. We are supposed to put our hands to pull out our misbaha right after salah. But what happens? We pull out our phone. It's a natural response. And I want us to understand that Ramadan is the time to come face to face with the elephant in the room.

If I had it my way, I would speak about this every day — because I am a person that works on the ground level. All this filth, the dirty laundry of the community, wherever I travel, this is it. This is the major problem. You want to know why there is suicidal ideation? You want to know why there is self-hate? You want to know why there is depression? You want to know why there are failing grades? You want to know why so many marriages are ending in divorce? A big chunk of it goes back to this problem — the misuse of the phone, either excessive use of it or misuse of it in watching that which, subhanAllah, none besides Iblis can inspire a man to watch.

And this affects married men, married women. It affects young men, young women. It affects, unfortunately, children. When I speak to men and I ask them when they started, they say, "When I was 9, when I was 10, when I was 8." This is happening. Who is to blame? The parents who have allowed this to happen in their home.

Even with the lax gun laws you probably have in this state — if you have a loaded gun without the safety on and placed on your kitchen table, and Allah forbid a child of the house picks it up and it discharges and someone gets injured or dies — I am pretty sure the law would hold the parents responsible. My dear friends, our phones are worse than guns. They don't just kill — they can make a person lose their iman. They can make a person lose their humanity.

A Practical Solution: SalamGuard

In this blessed month of Ramadan, we have to make a decision — an individual decision, a collective decision — that there should be no Muslim home and no Muslim individual that keeps a phone in their house, in their pocket, that is unlocked and can be used to watch and to read all of that filth.

So I ask you inshAllah today — and I am giving you a very simple solution. As Molana graciously introduced me, alhamdulillah the institute I'm from is Darussalam. One of our software engineers was here today with us — a student of Darussalam. He created, along with his friends, a simple website called salamguard.com. SalamGuard.com is a free resource that alhamdulillah we are constantly updating and building, that allows a person to go into the system of the phone itself, the system of the PC or iMac, and be able to dismantle those avenues through which this haram content is coming into our phones and laptops.

I don't think we can find a single person who says no — my phone or my laptop should have access to haram. Why is there access? Because we simply have not taken the effort to lock it down. SalamGuard is not the most innovative thing — there are things out there you can find on the internet. But this is one thing we have brought together.

We have a section of it based on adhkar — ruqyah and dhikr that a person can read for those suffering from addiction. What adhkar to read to get out of depression? What adhkar to read to get out of the addiction of watching haram? We have very practical steps on how a person can build better habits. We have steps there on how to be able to use a non-smartphone that still has WhatsApp, Google Maps, text message, an alarm — all your basic things — but without the scrolling. And that is what the killer part is. The scrolling is what ruins it all.

My dear friends, I want us on this weekend to spend a few minutes with our children, with our spouse, and go through that website — and try to make sure every single electronic device, every screen in our home is protected.

The Du'a of Abu Hurairah

I want to share with you a narration from Abu Hurairah (radiyallahu anhu), as reported by Imam al-Bayhaqi in Shu'ab al-Iman:

(Imam al-Bayhaqi, Shu'ab al-Iman)

Abu Hurairah (radiyallahu anhu), towards the end of his life, used to say: "O Allah, I seek refuge in You from committing fornication, and I seek refuge in You from committing any major sin in Islam."

Some of his companions said: "O Abu Hurairah — can a man like you, who has such status, who is the greatest narrator of hadith, one of the most senior companions alive — can a man like you make such a du'a and genuinely be afraid of zina and genuinely be afraid of committing a major sin? You have reached such an age — you are old. The lustful desires have come to an end in an old man. You have with your own eyes seen the Prophet ﷺ and taken an oath of allegiance on his hands. You have narrated from him. How is it that you say: Ya Allah, protect me from zina?"

He said:

(Imam al-Bayhaqi, Shu'ab al-Iman)

"Woe to you! What can give me any sense of comfort when I know Iblis is alive?"

If Abu Hurairah (radiyallahu anhu) did not think himself safe, then who is Azeemuddin, and who is any one of us, to think that — "I'm married with six kids, I'm 60 years old, I'm 70 years old, I'm a female" — my friends, no one is safe. As long as Iblis is around, any one of us can fall at any time.

So instead of jumping to blame X, Y, Z, we need to make sure — as the saying goes:

The most fortunate person is the one who learns from the lessons of others. When you see others falling, say: "I have to protect my own home." While I'm sitting here at Fajr, what is going on at home right now if my kids are awake? Is there access to the phone? Wallahi — who is watching? What is happening as we speak right now? When you wake up after 10 o'clock on a Saturday morning, alhamdulillah, the kids are awake before you. Where are they? This is my house, this is your house. I'm speaking to you as one of you. I have my own four kids. And this is naturally one of the main worries I have — what day will they lose their innocence? And once they lose their innocence, nothing can push it back in. Once you lose it, you cannot gain it back.

Closing Advice and Du'a

I implore our brothers and sisters listening to me today — please take this issue super seriously. Just because you are not aware of what is happening in the community, do not think that this is not a plague that has affected every section of the community across the entire globe. And I ask you, inshAllah, to please make du'a that SalamGuard becomes a means of bringing a massive level of change across the globe, and that similar programs are initiated across the globe that can protect people from falling into this and also pull out those who have already fallen in.

I ask Allah that He allows the remaining three weeks of this Ramadan to become far more powerful than the first week. And whatever we have done so far, may He accept it. Whatever mistakes we have made, may Allah allow us to be forgiven. And by the end, when we welcome Eid al-Fitr, I ask Allah that He has allowed us all to achieve a level of breaking of the nafs, of conquering over the nafs, where we truly can celebrate Eid — because alhamdulillah, we have put a foot down on our nafs.

Last but not least, on the way out, I have prepared with my colleagues a Ramadan checklist. You can choose whatever you want — there are 20 things on it, from suhoor all the way till qiyam al-layl. Choose whatever you want from there for your wife or your kids. Give a card to each one. It is a way to schedule your days in Ramadan, hoping inshAllah this will motivate us to have a very structured day throughout Ramadan. And inshAllah we can give some gifts to our own kids and to each other when we have ensured that we have been able to fulfill our goals.

I hope that by reducing the amount of time we spend on our phone, and cutting out the watching of reels, social media, YouTube, and whatnot, the new time that is now created can be spent inshAllah in quality time with our mom and dad, quality time with our kids, and of course in the recitation of the Qur'an, the dhikr of Allah, in reflecting on our own past sins, making amends with Allah, and praying for the entire ummah.

وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ