Ramadan 2025 | The Power of Prophetic Prayers | Mufti Azeemuddin Ahmed | 03/23

Building the Quality of Iḥsān in Our Worship

Yesterday after Dhuhr, we did a section from Bidāyat al-Hidāyah on our relationship with Allah and about loving Allah and the aspect of a person feeling heartbroken for the fact that he has not built his relationship with Allah. So now, Imam Ghazali — remember he talked about the importance of — whoever is participating in the program, please let's sit close together. And the more disconnected we are from the gathering, the more shaytan has the ability to come and put a wedge between us and whatever is being spoken about.

So let's try our best to sit as close as possible to the gathering in any and all of our talks that we attend here or elsewhere. The closer we sit, the more blessings, inshallah, we'll walk away with. So Imam Ghazali, alhamdulillah, emphasized the point on ensuring that we have daily time with Allah in seclusion.

That's what we talked about. Daily time in seclusion with Allah. And he said, make sure you do not allow a single day to pass by without having some of that time with Allah where you speak to Him and you enjoy speaking with Him and sharing whatever you have to share with Allah. Ideally, he says, it should be all the time — all the time a person is in a state of connection with Allah. SubhanAllah.

This morning I had a chance to speak to one of my teachers. And this is advice for myself and all of us here. May Allah allow all those who are in i'tikāf, who are not here also, let them hear it as well — you can share it. He said, one of the main things in i'tikāf that a person should focus on is creating the quality of iḥsān in our ibādah. The quality of iḥsān in our ibādah.

Yesterday we talked about — in this session after Asr — we also did:

If you remember, the people who are headed to Jannah, the people who have taqwā, they have four qualities. And in that passage, the verse came:

Allah loves those who do iḥsān — those who will go above and beyond what is expected from them and are beyond just being basically kind. So that is called iḥsān.

And what is iḥsān?

(Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, Hadith 50; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, Hadith 8 — from the Hadith of Jibrīl)

To worship Allah as though you can see Him. If you cannot see Him, then indeed He can see you. So to worship Allah with the quality of iḥsān — that is the goal.

And our Ustādh was saying that the i'tikāf is the perfect opportunity for us to make effort on creating iḥsān within our lives, in our ibādah. What a profound point. There is no shortage of people who are doing ibādah right now, especially in the month of Ramadan. The numbers of people who travel to the Ḥaram right now — I think 3 million through the Saudi airports. Have you seen pictures of the Ḥaram? Someone said that for the first time in 20 years you can't see a crane in the skyline. No cranes. Over the past 20 years, just constant construction. It's unbelievable. The picture of how many people are there, all the new expansion is jam-packed all the way till the end. I remember the goal was to be able to accommodate in the full extension 5 million people. 5 million people in one salah. Allahu Akbar.

So there is no shortage of people who are doing ibādah. The issue is: how many of us — forget about them — how many of us, how many of me, are able to say we are performing salah with ṣifat al-iḥsān? We are fasting with ṣifat al-iḥsān? We are doing tilāwat of the Qur'an with ṣifat al-iḥsān? Really, brothers, if we look deep down into this, we will realize where we are faltering and failing — that the ṣifat al-iḥsān is just not present. And when it is not present, then the desired results from Allah will not be there.

He also mentioned one interesting thing. He said that if we will never be able to do iḥsān towards others, if we cannot do iḥsān in our relationship with Allah. So if we want to do iḥsān towards our spouse, or towards our kids, or towards our parents, the prerequisite for that is to have iḥsān in our relationship with Allah.

Meaning, while performing Asr salah in the masjid, if I cannot remain focused on what I'm doing and why I'm doing it — if I cannot remind myself that I am standing in front of Allah — I shouldn't be scratching my cheeks, I shouldn't be playing with my beard, I shouldn't be tilting from one side to the other, I should not be jittery, I should not have my mind wandering here and there, because I am standing in front of Allah. If a person in the midst of salah, in the last days and nights of Ramadan, in the house of Allah, in ṣalāh al-jamā'ah, when the Qur'an is being recited out loud in Tarāwīḥ, Ishā', or Fajr, cannot concentrate and reach a level of iḥsān — how will it be possible that once a person leaves the masjid, once a person is outside of Ramadan, once a person is amongst non-Muslims or non-practicing Muslims, or is in his private life, how will he be able to remember that Allah is watching me and hence stay away from that which he is supposed to stay away from?

You get the point here? If a person cannot focus on Allah and do iḥsān in salah, then the chance of having iḥsān outside of salah and outside of the masjid — and ensuring we are aware that Allah is watching us — is very, very difficult.

So what is the main effort that a person should be working on? We have to make effort and practice on salah. That is something we perhaps have kids do in Sunday school. But as adults, all of us need to work on our salah. And one way to do that is to force ourselves to make long salah on our own — whether you are praying your qaḍā salah, or you are praying nāfil, or you are praying Ṣalāt al-Tasbīḥ. Whatever it is, make sure that the rukū' is long, the sajdah is long, the qawmah is long, the qiyām is long, and the tilāwat is as long as you possibly can. If it means reading five sūrahs or ten sūrahs again and again, so be it — no problem. You are allowed to read two, three, four, or as many small sūrahs as you want. If you know Sūrah Yāsīn or some other sūrah, just keep on reading — it will simply lengthen the salah. And in the process of that, practice makes you perfect.

So we have to practice performing salah with khushū'. That will create iḥsān. And when we can create iḥsān within our life in the masjid, then we will have iḥsān outside of salah. As they say in the six qualities: what is one of the main maqāṣid of salah? The whole life should become like salah. What does that mean? In salah, you do not do what others are doing — you do only that which Allah allows you to do, even though everyone else may be eating and drinking. So now, I have to make sure I do not do what others may be doing. It is called takbīrat al-iḥrām — where we make everything, besides a few things, ḥarām upon ourselves. You are not supposed to look around, you are not supposed to drink, you are not supposed to eat, you are not supposed to talk. So this, subhanAllah, is what we are saying — that our whole life needs to become like salah. That our whole life we do whatever Allah allows us to do and stay away from whatever Allah does not allow us to do. That is the key thing.

So this was fresh-off-the-press advice that I got from my teachers this morning. That is why I wanted to share this. Please share it with all others as well. One of the goals of our i'tikāf should be: build the quality of iḥsān within ourselves in our ibādah. And ṣifat al-iḥsān comes through what? Practice. You have to practice on it. If you don't practice on it, it is not going to happen.

The Etiquettes of Being in the Company of Allah — From Bidāyat al-Hidāyah

So when a person decides that he wants to spend time with Allah tonight — between Maghrib and Ishā' or some other time — he says:

I am going to read through Bidāyat al-Hidāyah — a few lines — before I get to the book on istighfār.

He said: once you have decided that you are going to spend time in the company of Allah, let us follow the etiquettes. I am on page 129. The manners of this company are:

Let me go through each one:

1. Iṭrāq al-ṭarf — Keeping the eyes downcast.
2. Jam' al-hamm — Full concentration.
3. Dawām al-ṣamt — Remaining silent.
4. Sukūn al-jawāriḥ — Stillness of the limbs.
5. Mubādarat al-amr — Hasten to fulfill His command.
6. Ijtināb al-nahy — Avoiding prohibited things.
7. Qillat al-i'tirāḍ 'alā al-qadar — Minimal objection to what He decrees for you.
8. Dawām al-dhikr — Constant remembrance of Him.
9. Mulāzamat al-fikr — Persevering in contemplation.
10. Īthār al-ḥaqq — Giving preference to the truth. Are you giving preference to Allah over everyone else?
11. Al-iyās min al-khalq — Despairing of created beings.
12. Al-khudū' taḥta al-haybah — Humility with extreme reverence.
13. Al-inkisār taḥta al-ḥayā' — A feeling of brokenness coupled with modesty.
14. Al-sukūn 'an ḥiyal al-kasb thiqatan bil-ḍamān — Peace of mind without resorting to any strategy of earning livelihood, by having confidence in the guarantee of Allah.
15. Al-tawakkul 'alā faḍl Allāh — Complete trust in the grace of Allah.
16. Ma'rifatan bi-ḥusn al-ikhtiyār — Knowing with certainty that the best choice will always be the one He makes. Allahu Akbar.

These etiquettes — all of them — should constitute your distinguishing emblem in all your nights and in your days. For these are the spiritual courtesies of companionship with a friend who never leaves your side, even as everyone of the creation will part company with you at one time or another.

Iṭrāq al-Ṭarf — Keeping the Gaze Downcast

This is the etiquette you are supposed to have with a senior person — a person feels humbled, a person feels awestruck that he is in the presence, that he finds it difficult to look into their eyes. And Allah actually gave Rasulullah ﷺ this gift. The Prophet ﷺ said:

(Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, Hadith 2977; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, Hadith 523)

I have been given the assistance of awe being struck into people, even when they are at a distance of a month from me.

Amr ibn al-'Āṣ, may Allah be pleased with him — the conqueror of Egypt, an extremely strong-willed individual, a strong warrior, a strong general — he says: if you were to ask me to describe how the Prophet ﷺ looked, I could not tell you. He says:

(Recorded in Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, Hadith 121, in the narration of 'Amr ibn al-'Āṣ)

In my entire life as a Muslim, I never had the ability to look directly into the eyes of the Prophet ﷺ. The conqueror of Egypt — the one who struck fear into the hearts of disbelievers — says he was never once able to look into the face of Rasulullah ﷺ. If you ask him to describe his face, he cannot tell you.

And there are many scholars, 'ulamā, and awliyā' like this. If you were to go sit with them — even though they are so humble — people will have a hard time looking at their face. They say, I can't. There is something in the eyes, something in their face that forces you to look down. That does not happen to everyone, but there are certain people — if I can explain it — there is a small glimpse, a trillionth of a glimpse, of Allah's nūr and tajallī being expressed through their countenance or their face.

Just as Allah when He put His tajallī on the mountain:

When Allah put His tajallī — when Allah manifested Himself to a certain degree — to the mountain, the entire mountain became sand and dust, done instantaneously. And Mūsā, peace be upon him, fell down unconscious. He never saw Allah. Allah had told him:

You will never be able to see Me in this world. But look at the mountain — if after I put My tajallī on the mountain and that mountain stays firm, then you can soon see Me. And if the mountain cannot handle My tajallī, then you definitely cannot handle it.

In the trillionth of a sense — a small glimpse of Allah's nūr fell on it — the mountain became dust. And Mūsā, peace be upon him, was just looking at the mountain. Just by looking at the mountain, he fell down unconscious. When he regained consciousness, he said: Subḥānaka, tubtu ilayka wa anā awwal al-mu'minīn — Glory be to You, I repent to You, and I am amongst the believers.

We learn from here many things. One side point: sometimes you know the answer, but in order to teach the person who is asking you, you have to go through a little exercise. Allah of course knows the answer — that Mūsā cannot handle seeing Him. But He wants Mūsā, peace be upon him, to feel completely content, that Allah is not saying, "I don't want to give you." So He kind of played along with Mūsā — He said, let's go, let's see how this works. Can you handle it? He couldn't. So that is the proper way of explaining to someone — sometimes when they do not understand it in a normal manner and you want them to understand it fully, you play along with them.

So this is where iṭrāq al-ṭarf comes in. When Allah's nūr falling on a mountain does this — imagine I am standing in front of Allah. When I am performing salah, I am standing in front of Allah. Isn't that the case? How can a person — may Allah forgive all of us — allow his gaze to roam around while he is in salah? If I truly knew whom I am standing in front of, there is no way my eyes can go up. The fact that a person's gaze goes here and there means we are not focusing. We do not know where we are, we do not know before whom we are standing. We are not at the level of ṣifat al-iḥsān.

So whenever we spend time with Allah in seclusion — number one: keep your gaze down. That is the etiquette.

Dawām al-Ṣamt — Remaining Silent, and the Etiquette of Respect

Jam' al-hamm — full concentration. Dawām al-ṣamt — remaining silent. That is part of etiquette: we do not talk a lot. In front of elders, in front of our seniors, we speak when spoken to. We ask questions as needed. And that is it. This sounds so different from today, right? Everyone needs to always be saying something.

I have shared a story of a scholar who really impressed me. One day when I was sitting with him, sharing a meal — he is my age, or maybe a year or two older — I was making small talk. His daughter was there. I asked, how old is she? So the dad said, seven. The son, probably eleven, says, "No, baba, she's eight." That was all. The father looked at the son, right in his eyes, and said, "Son, are you correcting me?" The kid looked down, stayed quiet, and continued with the meal.

This happened overseas. I looked at that and said, wow. That is what you call nipping it in the bud. The reason you have major levels of disrespect — and a person is crying tears of blood — is because someone did not set the boundary. I am all about dads being approachable, being friendly, playing ball with them. But there is something called respect.

The Verse of Sūrah al-Ḥujurāt and the Etiquette with the Prophet ﷺ

Sūrah al-Ḥujurāt was recited so beautifully today in Fajr. Do we all love Rasulullah ﷺ? We are supposed to love him more than we love our sons. You say, I love my Rasul, I love my son, and son says I love Baba — that is great. But that love has a way it must be expressed. Allah in Sūrah al-Ḥujurāt says:

Do not raise your voice over the voice of the Prophet ﷺ. And do not speak to him loudly the way you speak amongst each other loudly. Otherwise — an taḥbaṭa a'mālukum wa antum lā tash'urūn — I will literally, instantaneously make your entire roster of good deeds reflect zero. All. All sadaqah, all zakāt, all Hajj, all kalimah shahādah, all dhikr — everything will be zero. Even your nikāḥ will become invalid. Because now you become murtadd. Allah says nothing — your imān is cancelled.

You know they can freeze assets in this world. The dunyā can do that. Who can challenge Allah? He is the full court. He is the judge, the president, the prime minister, the king, the creator, the nourisher — He is everything. There is no challenging Him, there is no judge going to bring a court order against Him.

He owns it. What does mālik mean? Owner. He is not just a judge — the word is not qāḍī yawm al-dīn. It is mālik. He owns it. No one can ask Him why.

Allah says: with all due respect, you love your Ḥabīb, you love My Ḥabīb — but you cannot put your arms around him and scream out loud as you hug each other. Allah says: if you do that, khabardar — instantaneously I am going to bring you down to zero. And you will have to start all over if you want to. Otherwise, hellfire is waiting. And — wa antum lā tash'urūn — you will not even know I nullified all your deeds. You thought your account is at a million, at 10 million. When are you going to find out? Probably when the soul is being pulled out and the angels begin treating this person as a kāfir.

Brothers, we have access to all our bank accounts. We can see what is happening. But we have no access to our a'māl — we have no idea what is accepted or not. The verse of Sūrah al-Ḥujurāt is telling us that love does not give you the license to be disrespectful. And every single person has a different level of respect that we need to give them.

Although we love Rasulullah ﷺ more than everyone in this world, and Allah Himself says:

The Prophet ﷺ is closer to you than yourself — yet we are not allowed to speak to him the way we speak to each other.

Respect for Parents and the Etiquette of Children

So now this comes to the issue of parents. You are supposed to love no other human being after Rasulullah ﷺ more than your parents. And you should be super close to them. But that does not give a license to disrespect them. You say, no, I'm trying to be friendly — yes, you can wrestle with your friend, you can flick the ear of your friend, you can do all kinds of other things you want. But you cannot do that to your dad. Not acceptable.

I witnessed something three days ago. I'm talking to someone, and someone's son comes and literally flicks his ear and just walks away. And I'm like, what am I witnessing? And what makes me sad is the dad doesn't even flinch — because that is what he has become accustomed to. He has made his son accustomed to this. Should we blame the son? It is not his fault. The dad has not put the boundary — that you cannot do that.

This is actually harmful to the son. If your son or daughter says, "I want to eat all this junk and smoke all this junk," and you say, "Free country, I love you, here's your credit card, buy whatever you want, halal, haram, the most unhealthy thing — go ahead, be my guest, because I love you" — love does not mean you allow your kid to do whatever he wants. And similarly, love does not mean you allow your child to treat you however social media makes it acceptable.

You simply sit down and say, "Son, you don't do like this. I'm your dad. You can do that with your friend, but you cannot do that with your father." Because the person who does not respect his father — who in the world is he going to respect? If a person doesn't have humility in front of his father, which other man out there is he going to be impressed by enough to say, "Okay, I'm going to respect him"? The father figure is there. It starts off with the dad. More than likely — for sure — a person who cannot respect his mom or dad will never be able to respect Allah, and will never be able to respect Rasulullah ﷺ. And there is no place in Islam and no place in paradise for the man who doesn't respect Allah and His Rasul.

So if we cannot respect our parents, then we have damned ourselves. And part of being approachable for our kids is that you also have to say, "You cannot speak to me like this." This is where tarbiyah comes in — do not wait for them to cross that line and then call them out, because that hurts. Try your best that we have ta'līm of these matters.

I am reading the first line of the etiquettes with Allah. After that comes etiquettes of a scholar — how a scholar is supposed to act. After that, etiquettes of a student. After that, subhanAllah, etiquettes with parents. And there is a book — if you are not here, it is downstairs in the bookstore — it is a book of Imam Bukhari, rahimahullah. I would highly recommend all of us to get it. It is the first collection of hadith on this topic ever compiled. It is Imam Bukhari's collection on etiquettes with parents. Every single person — whether their parents are alive or have passed away — should definitely read this. Read it with intention for your own benefit, and then let your kids hear it as well. When we educate them, this is how we are supposed to act.

My dear fathers and mothers — you and I — this requires a high level of ikhlas. You and I should not want our children to respect us because we enjoy respect. Who does not enjoy respect? I enjoy respect, I am sure you do too. That is a basic emotional need of ours as humans, and especially as men, as dads. But the ikhlas is: "Oh my son, I want you to respect me, because this is what will get you closer to Allah. And if you don't, I might get hurt — but forget me. I don't want you to get hurt. Because by you disrespecting your dad, you are ruining your own ākhirah and your dunyā as well." That is what is called ikhlas in our relationships. It is a high level, but that is what we have to get to.

When we want our children to listen to us — not because it is convenient and enjoyable and feels nice — but more than anything else, we want our children to be ahead in Jannah, to be at the forefront. And they cannot be at the forefront if they are disrespectful to their moms and dads. Something as simple as picking up dad's shoes, picking up mom's shoes, pressing mom's feet, pressing dad's feet, giving a little back massage — even if you are 40 years old — if you ask your son to do khidmah, what is the purpose? Not because I want to feel that I need someone to give me a massage out of ego. The ikhlas is: I do not need this, but I am doing it because this son of mine is going to get very far inshallah. Because when you fulfill this — not even a need, even a desire of mine — Allah will be pleased with you. And the duā that will naturally come from my heart will get you to places that no other power in the world can get you.

One scholar was recently telling me about how much khidmah he did before his father passed away. He said, "We live in a mud hut — such an extreme level of poverty in Pakistan, we come from such a poor background." His father became disabled at the end, and he was there to serve him. And subhanAllah, he didn't care about it. He served him until his very last breath. And his dad in that disabled state would say, "Son, I promise you, you're going to get your payout for all this. Although we come from a very poor background, you will see the world in a way none from our family has seen." Allahu Akbar.

Within two or three years, that duā got fulfilled. As a scholar, he has traveled to so many places around the world. Honestly, when I call him and ask where he is, he tells me where he is going, where he has been — and I'm chuckling to myself: how did this happen? SubhanAllah, just everything being taken care of. And it was the duā of his dad — because of that level of khidmah he did. Don't we want this for our sons? Don't we want that for ourselves?

So — when it comes to parents as well, may Allah give all of us tawfīq — we need to ensure that we also control our tongues, keep our gaze lowered, and try our best to remain silent. So I told that scholar — three or four years later — I said, "Your story inspired me, I have spoken about it in so many other bayāns. What I noticed you doing in correcting your son that day taught me a lesson." SubhanAllah, this is true. Because: you have a guest sitting at the table, eating. The guest makes small talk and says, "How old is she, your daughter?" And the dad says, "Seven." And now, why does the son have to butt in and say, "No, she's eight"? We are not at the doctor's office where the dosage of medicine depends on her exact age. This is small talk. Why is this child correcting his dad in front of others when there is no need for it?

If you can correct your dad as a nine-year-old in front of someone, there is pretty much nothing you won't be able to do. When your dad says, "I don't like this girl for you," you are going to say, "Forget you." When dad says, "I don't like this job," you are going to say, "I don't care." He has become emboldened, brazen, because he has gotten accustomed to speaking like this his whole life. So when you ask dads, "Where is your son?" — "I'm not sure." Then who knows? If you don't have the ability to tell me whether he can come or not, who has that ability?

A Lesson from Madīnat al-Munawwarah — The Etiquette of Elders Speaking

What did this scholar tell me? He said, "I am American-born, I did not know about this etiquette. I learned it somewhere else." I said, "Where did you learn it from?" He said, "I was in Madīnat al-Munawwarah, and my children were with me. I went to visit my ustādh of qirā'ah — a senior scholar. I got out of the car with one or two of my sons. MarḥabaMarḥaba — he welcomed us. After about 30 minutes, my boys being boys, being American, they love to talk — they responded to all different things. He wasn't even asking them, he was speaking to the dad. About 30 minutes in, the shaykh couldn't take it. And he told my friend: 'Yā ḥabībī, listen. How long have you been in my house? 30 minutes. Who is next to me? My own two sons — they are 30-plus years old, scholars themselves. In 30 minutes, did you see my two sons say anything? Why is your seven- or eight-year-old butting into every occasion and speaking? Is this the etiquette you are supposed to have in the presence of elders?'"

My friend said, "That is the day I learned the etiquette. I knew it, but when you make a mistake and someone corrects you, it really makes sense — like, oh my God, that's true." Is this a desi etiquette? The ustādh was not desi — he was an Arab scholar. This etiquette is from where? From the Prophet ﷺ. Tribes would come, people would come, and they would start speaking. And the Prophet ﷺ would clearly say, "Let the elder one speak." The elder of the family, the eldest of the children, should be the spokesperson. That is the etiquette — let them have the front. If they themselves do not wish to speak, then they say, "You speak on my behalf." That is a different story. So the idea of the elder one being the leader and speaking — this is directly from the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ.

SubhanAllah — when we have etiquette with Allah, we will have etiquette with our parents, we will have etiquette with everyone else. But it first starts off with the etiquette with Allah.

Continuing the Etiquettes from Bidāyat al-Hidāyah

Dawām al-ṣamt — that is why we said the etiquette with Allah is to remain silent. So when you are doing duā, and you are doing murāqabah, and you are doing your meditations in the nights — that is it. You are looking down, you are thinking, and you are silent. Who am I to speak in front of Allah? When you speak, your heart speaks. Or else you are in duā. That is what it means to be in the presence of Allah.

And these etiquettes you cannot learn from a book. Where do you learn these etiquettes from? From people — from ustādhs, from people who have the etiquette. When you sit with people who have adab, you say, "Oh, that is how you are supposed to act."

In the classroom, there is a chair for the teacher sometimes. I sometimes see a student sitting in it. I'm like, what are you doing? In seven years of studying, not once can I imagine any classmate of mine or myself ever sitting on the spot of the ustādh — whether it is break time, spring break, or summer break. That teacher's spot is the teacher's spot. You do not touch that. You can clean it, you can lift it up and clean it. But you sit on the teacher's spot? And now when you have respect for the teacher's spot in his absence, how much respect will you have for the teacher when he is actually present? Can you sleep in front of his class? Allahu Akbar — no, you cannot.

I didn't know all of this by the way — I am as American as everyone sitting here. When I went to madrasa, alhamdulillah, that is one of the things I learned. And that is why I encourage all our dads and moms who are listening, and our young men and women sitting here, to make a niyyah after i'tikāf to spend some time in a madrasa — even if it means a few weeks. You might not understand much if you go overseas, but here alhamdulillah we have programs at Dār al-Salām at every level — basic, intermediate, introductory, advanced.

The biggest thing — and I would say any graduate would agree with me — you will forget the Arabic if you do not continue studying. But what will stick with you is the adab — the etiquette. I can say this with 100% confidence: a Dār al-Salām graduate from the one-year program — throw him wherever he is — he may have forgotten every Arabic word he learned 12 years ago, no problem. But inshallah, when he walks and when he speaks, you will know that this person did something different. All of our graduates, alhamdulillah, even when they go through the ups and downs of life, they know how to respect 'ulamā, they know how to respect imams, they know how to respect books, libraries, and the symbols of Islam. Alhamdulillah. I have yet to see a single person who does not fall into this category. May Allah always keep it like that.

Some of you may be saying, "Very nice talk, but what is the practical application? How am I supposed to teach my son to respect me? He is now 17 or 19." That is why I would say, send him over here. Because now — as they say in Urdu — billi raat guzar gayi, long time ago. It is now 17 years — you cannot change things at home all of a sudden just because you heard this bayan after Asr. That is why you send them to a madrasa. And there are fathers of our students here — ask them how much they have benefited by sending their kids to study the deen here.

I met a brother who was giving me a ride, jazāhu Allāhu khayran — he was driving me around for hours from one bayan to the other. I looked at him and said, "I know you — we've met many times." He said, "Yeah, I'm a summer intensive student of 2012." He said, "That one month I spent — Dār al-Salām was not even open yet, we had an MSI — alhamdulillah, the tarbiyah I picked up, I forgot the Arabic in one month, but the uṣūl and the principles and the Islamic worldview that I picked up in that one month, alhamdulillah, as a father of four or five kids, I still retain that." And that is all I am saying. It is something we got from our teachers and we are sharing with you. And we hope everyone, your local Mufti Abdulaziz sitting here — mashaAllah he runs a beautiful madrasa in Dallas — go there, wherever he runs, go to a madrasa, spend a little time, and the goal should be: I am going to pick up adab. And once we get that, alhamdulillah, everything will be there.

So — dawām al-ṣamt, remaining silent; sukūn al-jawāriḥ, stillness of the limbs; quickly fulfilling the commands of Allah; staying away from whatever Allah has asked us to stay away from. After that, not objecting to Allah's decree. That is the etiquette. Don't say, "Man, why did this happen? Why did Allah do this to me?" You might be hurt or upset that you are not able to get what you wanted in life, but make sure we do not criticize Allah's decision. The heart may feel it — and that is why there is a duā:

O Allah, make me pleased with Your destiny, make me pleased with Your decisions.

Dawām al-dhikr — try your best to always be thinking about Allah and remembering Him. Then give preference to Allah over everyone else.

Al-iyās min al-khalq — give up hope in the creation:

The reliance is only upon Allah. That is it. If you do business, people say they got backstabbed — that is just how the dunyā is. Muslim, non-Muslim, young, old, relatives — unfortunately it is a matter of time before you get burnt. That is just how the dunyā is. The only place you will not get burnt is in your relationship with Allah. So he says: give up your trust in humans, and have your trust only in Allah.

Al-khudū' taḥta al-haybah — humility with extreme reverence. When you take Allah's name, our hearts should tremble. When the Adhān is called, we should actually feel it — Allah is calling me, I have to leave whatever I am doing immediately. A person feels extreme humbleness along with having extreme reverence for Allah.

Al-inkisār taḥta al-ḥayā' — a feeling of brokenness, I am nothing, I am nobody — coupled with modesty. You are thinking about all the times you have sinned while Allah was watching.

'Uthmān, may Allah be pleased with him, would have a hard time even relieving himself, because of the constant awareness that Allah is with him, Allah is watching. It comes in the books that even while bathing he would keep himself covered — wearing the izār. Why? Because Allah is —

Allah is with us, Allah is wherever we are. So that is when a person has that bashfulness from Allah.

Al-sukūn 'an ḥiyal al-kasb thiqatan bil-ḍamān — this is not for everyone; this is not even for the 1%, this is the 1% of the 1%. There are certain individuals whose reliance upon Allah is so complete that they may take a step back from utilizing the means of earning, because Allah is simply not going to let them go hungry. This is not for the average person at all.

So we take into consideration all the other etiquettes spoken about — those are the main ones we have to follow in our relationship with Allah. And what are all of them based on? Extreme love. When you love someone — as they say in Urdu, muḥabbat khud ādāb sikhā detī hai — loving someone will teach you how to respect them. If you love someone truly, eventually you will realize what you should do and what you wish you had not done. So we go back to the basics: Ya Allah, make us love You. Force us to love You, put Your love in our hearts. And inshallah, once Allah makes us love Him, we will be able to worship Him the way He deserves.

Du'ā from the Prayers of Forgiveness of al-Ḥasan al-Baṣrī

I am going to read, for the sake of barakah — as I promised — one of the du'ās of istighfār. If you are joining us for the first time, these are the Prayers of Forgiveness of al-Ḥasan al-Baṣrī — 70 prayers, each one unveiling the deceptive methods of the nafs and shayṭān in making us sin. And he hits it where it hurts. This is duā number 8:

Oh Allah, I seek forgiveness for every such sin for which I spent the night in sleeplessness, savoring the pleasures of soon committing it — waiting in eager anticipation of its realization and fulfillment — until eventually, when morning came, I presented myself before You in the guise of the pious, while concealing in my heart what was against Your pleasure. So Allah, forgive me.

Meaning, a person shows up for Fajr, shows up for a program — dressed up as a pious person — but the entire night his fikr was: how can he sin? He was waiting every moment for an opportunity to be created for him to sin. And now he has sinned, and he acts as though he is pious. Ya Allah, You know me. Ya Allah, You know I am sitting amongst these pious people. I am that guy. Please Ya Allah, forgive me. I am not going to expose myself. Alhamdulillah, You have covered me. But I am asking You to please forgive me. SubhanAllah.

Closing Du'ā

Oh Allah, we ask You to accept our 23rd fast. Oh Allah, we ask You to accept our ṣadaqah. Oh Allah, we ask You to accept our zakāt. We ask You to accept our good character. We ask You to accept all the du'ās that we are making at any time of the day. Ya Allah, we ask You to accept our sunnah i'tikāf or our nāfil i'tikāf. Oh Allah, we ask You to accept all the good character we have shown towards anyone.

Oh Allah, Ya Allah — all the good that we have done is not of the quality that is worthy of acceptance. Oh Allah, from top to bottom we are aware of all the flaws that are there, and there are many, many flaws that we are not even aware of. Ya Allah, we ask You: do not treat us based on what we deserve. Oh Allah, do not treat us based on justice. Oh Allah, rather treat us based on Your generosity. Oh Allah, treat us based on Your greatness. Oh Allah, treat us based on Your grandeur. Oh Allah, by You forgiving us, Your greatness and majesty does not decrease. And oh Allah, by You forgiving us — that is exactly all we need, and that is all we want, and that is exactly what we must have.

Oh Allah, we ask You for Your pleasure. We ask You for Your forgiveness. We ask You Ya Allah to make our affairs of this world and the next easy. Oh Allah, we ask You Ya Allah to change the direction of our hearts — from running after the material things of this world towards running after the amazing sources and manifestations of Your pleasure in paradise. Oh Allah, we ask You to make every one of us a ṭālib in the desire of Jannah. Oh Allah, make us men and women who work towards Jannah. Oh Allah, create within us the shawq of Jannah. Oh Allah, create within us the hatred of that sin which will lead us towards hellfire. Oh Allah, grant us the genuine fear of making You upset and grant us the genuine desire to keep You happy.

Oh Allah, we ask You to fill our hearts with Your love — and the love of Rasulullah ﷺ, the love of the Ṣaḥābah, the love of the family of Rasulullah ﷺ. Oh Allah, the love of those good people who will allow us to be attached to You. Ya Allah, Ya Allah — replace the love of material things in our hearts with the love of those things which are beloved to You. Ya Allah, we ask You Ya Allah to grant us pure eyes — pure and clean eyes — clean hands, clean feet, clean minds, clean thoughts. Oh Allah, allow every single portion of our body to become purified through the fasting and qiyām al-layl that we are doing.

Ya Allah, we ask You Ya Allah to have mercy on our brothers and sisters across the globe who are going through difficulty. Oh Allah, today marks Ya Allah the 50,000th shaheed of Gaza. Oh Allah, the 50,000th shaheed of Gaza. Oh Allah, we ask You Ya Allah — do not allow any of this Ya Allah to go in vain. Allow every single one of these shuhadā to become a means of Ya Allah hidāyah for the entire globe and an awakening of the sleeping Ummah. Allow every single shaheed to become a means of awakening the sleeping Ummah and allow it to become a means of sealing the fate against the oppressors. Oh Allah, bring down Ya Allah Your destruction upon the oppressors — and oh Allah, destroy them in the manner You destroyed 'Ād and Thamūd.

Oh Allah, we ask You Ya Allah to accept all of our du'ās — that which we asked for, and that which we were not able to ask for but You know we need. Oh Allah, grant us all that we need in this world and the next.