The Importance of Tests in Spirtuality with Mufti Azeemuddin Ahmed
By Mufti Azeemuddin Ahmed | 2026-07-13T20:38:07.533162+00:00 | Topic: Trials
Introduction
Our next speaker is someone that many of you also know, similar to Sheikh Omar Hadrooj who had addressed us earlier — Mufti Azeemuddin Ahmed. Mufti Azeemuddin serves as the director of Masjid Darus Salaam.
Born and raised in the Chicagoland area, at a very young age, his parents made the decision to move to an area a little more remote and begin to raise their children in an area where they're not influenced too much by the outside public. Thereafter, he attended Islamic school before going overseas, where he studied in South Africa for eight years, completing his studies there, including his iftah studies. Upon returning, he was able to then attend Elmhurst College and gain his Bachelor of Arts in Psychology.
He served as imam at a different location, Frankfort, Illinois, at AIA Masjid. He currently serves as director of Darus Salaam Masjid. And similar to when I spoke about Sheikh Omar, I don't want to make this all a paper intro, but I remember one specific thing about Mufti Saab.
When he came back from South Africa, we happened to be attending a program together where we were both in attendance. He was a speaker, I was just a counselor for students. But despite the fact that I was just a counselor for students, he and his brother came, pulled me aside — they said, look, what advice do you have? How should we address them? What should the speech be on? So similar to Sheikh Omar and the etiquette and adab that he showed, and I think Allah accepted that. I hope Allah accepted that. Mufti Azeemuddin — same thing. Just a lot of humility and adab when it came to how to serve the community. And I believe Allah Ta'ala has also accepted this from him.
The topic is titled: Tough Love — The Need for Tests in Spirituality. This topic will focus around the fact that oftentimes when people progress, or want to progress, they think that things will just be easy. Or they ask: why isn't Allah making it easy? I'm worshiping, I'm coming to the masjid. Not recognizing there is a benefit and a need to have mujāhadah and struggle. So to address this topic, I'll turn the microphone over to Mufti Azeemuddin, inshallah.
Opening Du'ā
I ask Almighty Allah Azza wa Jal to make this gathering extremely beneficial and blessed for all of us. We ask Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, Most Gracious, Most Merciful, that He allows myself and all of us to leave this masjid and this gathering in a state that we are much closer to Him than we were when we entered. We ask Almighty Allah Azza wa Jal to strengthen our spirituality. We ask Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala to grant us a life that is as close as possible to the sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ. We ask Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala that whatever spiritual issues — or any other issues for that matter — that we may be going through in our lives, we ask Allah that our coming here and spending some time in the house of Allah may become a means of the removal of those issues, may become a means of allowing all of us to find answers to our questions, and may it make it a means of all of us finding enlightenment in our remaining years of life. Allahumma ameen.
Allah's Sunnah in Creation: A World of Process
Dear brothers and sisters, dear guests of the house of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala — Allah Azza wa Jal has chosen to create this world in a specific manner. There is His sunnah, there are His ways that Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala operates. There is no one who can ask:
No one can ask Him why He does what He does — while the rest of the people will be asked.
Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala chose to create things in a certain manner. He chose to set a time — usually — for the formation of the baby in the mother's womb. Not just a human baby, any other baby as well, different amounts of time. Allah Azza wa Jal can do that through His command instantaneously:
"Be" — and it comes into existence. But Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala chose for it to also have a specific time that it takes. Whether it's the creation of the earth or the creation of the heavens — Allah Azza wa Jal could have done it all in an instant. But He chose for it to have a specific duration.
Allah Azza wa Jal could have made every single child come into this world only through the father or only through the mother. But Allah made that as an exception. Adam's story is there, Isa's story is there. The general principle — the general sunnah — is that mother and father will come together, and then Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala blesses them with the child.
So Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has made this dunya a system — a system for which you cannot ask why. He made it such that deen, as one of its core principles, has been given to us as a solution to all of our problems. What is the purpose of deen? That all of us should have a very successful, beautiful, amazing, happy life — in this world, in the grave, and in the Hereafter.
Whoever does righteous deeds — be it male or female — as long as they have faith, Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala says: most definitely I will give them a beautiful life. فَلَنُحْيِيَنَّهُ حَيَاةً طَيِّبَةً. That good life is not only in the Hereafter — it's here. If you have iman, you have a beautiful life.
Putting Difficulty on Allah's Tab
Many times many of us are sad, going through rough times in our life and we say, "Man, this is so tough." What we don't understand is — Allahu Akbar — that we have iman. If we did not have iman and we had to go through this, you can imagine how tough it would have been.
Think about it this way: when you have an expense on a business trip, and subhanAllah — the rental car price went up, the flight to China went up, you have to get a hotel because the flight was delayed, you have to buy food at the airport because of a long wait — a person doesn't get worried. Why? Because he's going to put it on the tab. The company will pay. From the Uber from the house, all the way to the Uber back home — you don't have to call anyone. Everything is business. The business will pay for the expenses.
So even if something huge happens — the flight gets canceled, you have to buy a new flight on the spot, $2,000 one way — if you were on a personal trip, you would think twice. But it's a business trip. Charge the card. You don't think. Even the meal on the plane — you don't think, because you're putting it on the company's tab.
My beloved brothers and sisters — difficulties come. But what happens? They're easy to handle because it's not coming out of your pocket at the end. It may initially seem to come out of your pocket, but everything will get reimbursed.
Similarly, when a person is a believer, he will go through difficulty — just like a non-believer will go through difficulty. But there's a big difference. A believer puts it on Allah's tab. "My reward is only with Allah." That's what it means. Every prophet said:
"My reward is with nobody except the Lord of the worlds. He is going to take care of all my expenses." So there's a huge difference between a believer going through difficulty and a non-believer going through difficulty.
The Battle of Uḥud: Pain Shared, But Reward Only Ours
This is why the Qur'an mentions — regarding the Battle of Uḥud, where there were huge losses. The Muslims had a clear victory at Badr. But when Uḥud came, Allah tested them. Seventy shuhadā', the Prophet ﷺ badly injured, Ḥamza ibn 'Abd al-Muṭṭalib martyred and mutilated — it was a very tough day. Allah says:
Indeed, you're not the only ones who are suffering. إِنَّهُمْ يَأْلَمُونَ — they are also in pain, the way you are in pain. Your enemy is going through pain كَمَا تَأْلَمُونَ — the way you go through pain. There's a difference:
You have expectations of reward from Allah that they have nothing of — no expectations, because they don't even believe in the Ākhirah. So what happens? خَسِرَ الدُّنْيَا وَالْآخِرَةَ — they suffer in the dunya, and they'll suffer in the Ākhirah.
The Hadith of the Scissors: Wishing for Difficulty on the Day of Judgment
When we go through difficulty, remind yourself — every single person, even the Joneses, is going through difficulty. You're not the only one at the hospital. The hospital has 900 beds — 400 beds with other people. You're not the only one with a fender bender. There are another 25 cars in line at the body shop. You're not the only one trying to pay a big bill.
But every single difficulty that you're going through — if you have proper yaqīn, proper imān, proper iḥtisāb, proper expectations from Allah — then on the Day of Judgment you will wish that you had much, much more of those difficult, so-called dark days in your life. Because for every difficult day, the rewards you're getting in the Ākhirah are so much that you'll say: "What was the point of smiling for 20 years? For 20 years of sadness I got this level of Jannah. If Allah had made another 20 years sadness for me as well, I would have gotten an even higher level."
Where am I getting this from? The hadith of the Prophet ﷺ, where he says that on the Day of Judgment, when the people of āfiyah — the people of well-being — will see the rewards that the people who had difficulty are receiving, they will wish that their skin would have been cut up into pieces with scissors. It is an authentic hadith.
(Sunan al-Tirmidhī, Hadith 2402)
The people who had a comfortable, enjoyable, healthy, safe life — on the Day of Judgment they will wish, not that a bullet would have come and gotten them, not that a drone would have killed them, not that poison was placed in something they were drinking — but that their skin would be cut up with maqāriḍ — scissors. That is a very, very painful way to suffer. This is authentic hadith of the Prophet ﷺ.
Meaning — in modern-day terms — on the Day of Judgment, when you and I will see the rewards that the people of Gaza, the wounded ones, the shuhadā', are receiving, we will all wish that our address had not been in Illinois but in Gaza. That day will come. That day will come.
You're not supposed to wish that now, by the way. This hadith is not for you and me right now. This hadith is consolation for those who are going through extreme difficulty. Allah's Rasul ﷺ is consoling them: "Just watch — you'll see. Why are the American Muslims not going through what I'm going through? Why are they just enjoying life?" Their biggest dilemma is: which coffee shop should we go to tonight? We have seven on the same street. Over there, they're sharing a boiled egg.
Now — how is this fair? SubhanAllah, their name is also Aisha. Your name is also Aisha. Their name is Khalid. Your name is Khalid. But find me one picture coming out of Gaza where you see women's hair exposed. Find me one video — from the past two years — of a janazah, where a woman has lost her children, not one, not two, not three, not out of sickness but a sudden attack. Six of them dead. Husband is dead. Even in that case you see how they are covered, saying: "Ya Allah, we are in this state — make sure that even in the heat and cold of Gaza, looking at seven dead bodies, we do not expose our body and our hair."
And the ones living it up, enjoying life all around the world, walk around as though there's no Day of Judgment. The hadiths tell us: don't worry — on the Day of Judgment, when you and they are lined up, they will be wishing a hundred times over that their lives could have been switched with yours. When they see where you're headed, and when they see where they are headed.
The ajr and reward of those men, women, and children — not only of Gaza, but of every place across the globe where the Ummah is going through difficulty — when we will see their reward, we will wish we could have switched places. That day shall come.
The True Meaning of Ṣabr
My point is: difficulty, when a person handles it properly — this is the key phrase. Ṣabr and patience by itself is not sufficient. Someone who has lost their house in an earthquake — all the houses are demolished, they're in tents — what can you do without ṣabr? But there are two different kinds of people in that tent.
One person is trying to find water, and if he can't find it, he makes tayammum — and he is still waking up for Fajr. He's waking up his wife, his kids, and in the tent they're praying Ṣalātul Fajr. And the other person is angry and frustrated — the engineers didn't build it properly, the architect didn't plan it, the government didn't do enough — and he's cussing everyone, sitting in the same tent. Fajr goes, Ẓuhr goes, 'Aṣr goes, Maghrib goes, 'Ishā' goes.
If you call him and say, "Brother, what are you doing?" — "I'm doing ṣabr." No, no, no. This ṣabr doesn't count. Ṣabr means when it's done the way Allah and His Rasul have taught us. A person who says, "I'm going through difficulty — divorce, loss of money, loss of health, loss of children — I'm going to do ṣabr," and then sleeps through all his prayers, is depressed and sad and stays in bed all day — that is not ṣabr. Do not confuse it with the accepted ṣabr.
Because the Qur'an says this even to the people of Jahannam — Allah says:
"Be patient or don't be patient — it is the same for you." You're not going to be able to reduce the punishment of the hellfire. There may be people in Jahannam who are so-called doing ṣabr — it is of no benefit. Accepted ṣabr is that a person asks: "How would Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala want me to respond in this type of situation? How would my Nabī handle this type of difficulty?"
So beloved brothers — the sunnah of Allah is that this world is a place of difficulty. Simple as that. If a person is not going through difficulty, maybe he is already deluded into thinking his comfort has arrived — because it is not possible for a person to be in this dunya and not be going through difficulty.
The Greatest Difficulty: A Heart Disconnected from Allah
Some of us may say, "Brother, I don't have any difficulty." Then you have to ask yourself: to what degree is your life according to the sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ? A person not following the life of Rasulullah ﷺ — there is no difficulty bigger than that. No difficulty larger than our life being away from Rasulullah ﷺ's life.
Someone heard a scholar saying that Allah punishes people who disobey Him through various ways. So a person said, "I don't understand that. I disobey Allah left and right — I miss my prayers, I don't give my zakat, I misuse my eyes, my ears, my tongue — but I have a successful life, a successful business, a beautiful home, wife and kids. I have no difficulty." So the scholar asked him: "When was the last time you stood up at night speaking to Allah in Tahajjud?" He said, "What is that?" The scholar said: "Khalas. What more difficulty do you want? What larger punishment could you ask for than being deprived of speaking to Allah?" Allah says: "I don't want to see your face — go, sleep." What other bigger punishment is there when Allah slams the door and says, "I don't want to speak with you" — meaning being deprived of reading the Qur'an, being deprived of standing in front of Allah. This is the greatest difficulty.
Recently a person came to me speaking about some great difficulties he was going through. I listened to him, and then I asked him: "When was the last time you read Qur'an?" And I kid you not, I had my phone like this — I dropped it. He told me: two years ago. Whatever difficulty he came with to me right now is honestly paled in comparison with that. A Muslim not reading the book of Allah for two years? How do you survive? You're a zombie. You're not human anymore. Imagine a body that doesn't get nutrition for two years — you're dead. How can a soul live without reading Qur'an for two years?
How many thousands and millions of people within the Ummah of Rasulullah ﷺ who claim to be Muslim are in this state — that they cannot remember the last time they spent 15–20 minutes speaking to Allah through the Qur'an? They cannot remember when is the last time they quietly sat down and took Allah's name?
My beloved brothers — whatever challenges and difficulties any of us are going through, I warn you, I warn myself. I remind myself and I remind all of you: the greatest challenge, the greatest difficulty, the greatest azāb, the greatest muṣībah, is to have a heart that is disconnected from Allah. A heart that doesn't remember Him.
One brother — a good friend — was going through a lot of difficulty. His children, this, that. And I told him: "Brother, I know your story. But I just want to tell you — you are still far, far ahead of thousands of other people who do not have the physical pain you're going through, whose children and wife don't have the physical pain they're going through. But mashaAllah, at least three to five times a day you are still praying in the front row of the masjid. And the people who don't have that pain — the Jummah-only crowd — they may not have your pain, but by Allah, they are in a far worse situation than you. That Allah is allowing you to come to His house multiple times a day and do the khidmah of the masjid and khidmah of the deen — you need to realize you are very, very, very blessed."
You know who is being tested? The one who cannot find himself in the house of Allah. The one who cannot even think about the Ummah of Rasulullah ﷺ. The one who doesn't feel pain for the Ummah. The one who doesn't care about the neglect of the sunnah. He prays himself, but he doesn't care how empty the masjid is — it doesn't hurt him. His wife covers properly, but she doesn't mind what other women are doing. His son is memorizing Qur'an, but he doesn't care that the boys and girls of the community don't even read Sūrah al-Fātiḥah. That heart that is devoid of pain for the Ummah of Rasulullah ﷺ — that is a very sad heart.
If you're going through difficulty, but your heart is in the right place — you're connected with Allah, you're sharing your message with Allah every day — my beloved friends, you're in good shape.
The Sweetness Found in Sajdah During Difficulty
One brother went through a very sudden marital issue — he was shocked by his situation. He flew in from another city to come see me. After Ṣalātul Fajr, many years ago, he sat down and said, "I gotta talk to you." And he told me what had happened. I was shocked myself listening to it — it was very painful to hear.
He said: "When I entered my house and I saw the situation, my muṣalla was on the floor — I just opened it up and I fell into sujūd and I started crying in front of Allah." He said: "It's been now two or three weeks. I've just been crying in front of Allah every single day."
I was moved by his story. But then the next thing he told me was just unbelievable. He said: "You know — I lost my whole family just like that. Kids, wife, everything in an instant. But I have never in my life cried like this. And never in my life have I felt this close to Allah. It's weird, it's awkward, it's ironic — but I'm making du'ā to Allah in this difficulty, and I don't know if I really want this difficulty to be removed from my life. Because the sweetness that I am enjoying in sajdah now, the sweetness I am getting in speaking to Allah for hours at night — I never got this sweetness even with my whole family around me. And now I don't know what to do. Should I ask Allah to keep this situation upon me? Or should I ask Allah to remove it?"
Allahu Akbar. That is exactly what we're talking about. A person who has understood the secret sauce of difficulty — why difficulty is actually a gift.
Al-Miḥnah is a Minḥah: Difficulty is a Hidden Gift
There is a saying in Arabic:
There are two words — مِحْنَةٌ and مِنْحَةٌ. Both have the same three letters — م، ح، ن — but the order differs. مِحْنَةٌ means difficulty. مِنْحَةٌ means a gift. You may have heard it as a name — Maniḥah. So the saying is: "A difficulty is a hidden gift." Difficulty is a hidden gift from Allah.
Why is it hidden? Because the one who's going through it — unless Allah allows him to see the full picture — he may think he's being punished. He may think that Allah dislikes him. He may think: "This is too much. I can't handle it." What he doesn't realize is that this is actually a staircase Allah has opened up for him that He has not opened up for the person next to him — and He didn't open it up yesterday, it opened up now. It's a stairway coming from there. You simply have to climb the stairs to get to the highest levels of Jannah.
If you did not have those stairs, you could not climb to that level. You're in the masjid right now, but you can't get to the mezzanine unless you go up the stairs. A person may arrive in Jannah, but he will not get to the level he needs to — or wants to — unless he climbs the stairs of difficulty.
As it is mentioned in hadith: there is sometimes a place in Jannah that Allah has ordained for a person, but his actions are simply not at the level that will take him there. So then Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala puts him through difficulty. And in the process of that difficulty, if he properly remains patient — the way we mentioned earlier — he will be able to reach that spot in Jannah. So what was the gist? The reason difficulty came was literally for us to get to a level of Jannah far higher than where we were going. SubhanAllah. How is this not a gift from Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala?
Asking for 'Āfiyah — But Not Running from Tests
My beloved brothers and sisters — we have been taught to ask Allah for āfiyah and well-being.
The best thing that can be given to you after imān is āfiyah. Ask Allah for āfiyah and well-being — in deen, in dunya, in the grave, and in the Ākhirah. However, when tests come at us, we do not run away. We do not give up. We do not say things which are absolutely inappropriate — like, "Why did this happen to me? I can't take this. I'm done." This is what Shayṭān wants us to say so that he can walk away as a winner of the night. Shayṭān wants us to become angry, frustrated, depressed, anxious, and give up when we are faced with difficulty.
And Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala wants us to remain strong:
Allah says: the patient people are the ones who will be given their full reward without any ḥisāb. There is no other place like this mentioned. There is no counting — the angels are not even counting. The person who is properly patient in his life — this is between Allah and him directly. It is not 700 times, 500 times, 100 times reward. No — بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍ.
If a wealthy billionaire says, "Come here, I just want to put my hand in my pocket and give you" — you say, okay, how much is he going to give? He's a billionaire. But my beloved brothers — this is not the billionaire. This is Allah, the Owner and Creator of the heavens and the earth.
In His hands are the treasures of the heavens and the earth. If Allah says, "I'm going to give you بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍ" — the computers of the world cannot comprehend what that means. Angel Jibrīl does not know what that means. Only Allah knows what بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍ means. And that is tied not to fasting people, not to people who pray ṣalāh, not to people who give zakāt, not to people who do this or that or dhikr — it is tied to what? The ṣābirūn — the patient people.
The Three Types of Ṣabr
Now, what does الصَّابِرُونَ mean? The ṣābirūn are of three types:
1. صَابِرٌ عَلَى الطَّاعَةِ — patient in remaining steadfast on good deeds. To show up for Fajr every single day. When Fajr is at 6:15, alhamdulillah, it's easier. When Fajr turns to 4:15, it becomes difficult. But mashaAllah, we are blessed to have in this masjid and every masjid such people who have prayed Fajr in the front row for the past three or four decades. May Allah give them long life and health, and whenever Allah takes them away, may Allah always allow them to be replaced — ideally from their own children and grandchildren. Allahumma ameen. And may Allah make you and I and our progeny from such people. Allahumma ameen.
صَابِرٌ عَلَى الطَّاعَةِ means a person with istiqāmah and steadfastness — no matter what the situation may be, he is consistent. One brother was telling me about the ameer of the da'wah work in one of the masājid — someone deeply involved in the effort of da'wah and tablīgh for decades. He said one day their ameer came in the morning for the daily reminder — going over the qualities of imān and so forth — and he was speaking in a quick, fast manner, wrapped up in five or seven minutes, asked everyone to make du'ā, and left. Only later did they find out: right before Fajr, he had received a phone call that his son and family had been in a car accident — and his son had died. But even on that day, an hour before receiving that news, he was still sitting for that gathering.
What do you call that? That's called ṣabr 'alā al-ṭā'ah. That I do this for the sake of Allah — whatever the situation may be, every single day I do my routine. The son died because Allah wanted him to die at that moment. And the father's response? Allah is testing me through this — I need to give a proper response.
When you go for an interview and get thrown a curveball — the boss asks you to do something that's not technically part of the interview. Would you refuse? You've been without a job for six months. You badly need this. You'd say, "Anything — whatever I can do." Our life — one hundred percent of the time — we are under interview. We are under the scrutiny, the magnifying glass of Allah. And everything that comes at us — there is no coincidence. There is no such thing as a coincidence.
I may be running to my car and get stopped by a four-year-old or six-year-old who says, "As-salāmu alaykum." How do I respond? That's a test. I may be running somewhere and someone says, "Please, please help me." How I respond — that's a test. Every single speed bump is a test. Every single little up and down is a test. You go home and your son is crying — that's a test. Your wife is crying, your daughter is crying — all of these things are a test. How do you respond?
2. صَابِرٌ عَنِ الْمَعْصِيَةِ — patient in restraining oneself from sin.
3. صَابِرٌ عَلَى الْمُصِيبَةِ — patient in the face of calamity.
The Story of Qārī Ameer al-Ḥasan: Ṣabr in its Highest Form
My Shaykh — Qārī Ameer al-Ḥasan, raḥimahullah — had all his children pass away before him. His wife passed away. Everyone passed away before him. He was in I'tikāf in Mewat, South India — he had the largest I'tikāf in India during Ramaḍān, thirty days, two to three thousand people. SubhanAllah — one day during I'tikāf, someone who was there told me this story. They said: Qārī Ameer al-Ḥasan, raḥimahullah, was peeling an orange — an old man, already around 75 to 80 years old — and he was feeding his son at iftār time. His son was a grown man, but the old man kept his son next to him and fed him with love. If I remember correctly, this was his last living child.
The son fell sick and they rushed him to a hospital forty-five minutes away. After some time, the son passed away. They brought the janāzah back to the big masjid. Now — who was going to break the news to Ḥaẓrat? He was so elderly. They didn't want him to have a heart attack from the shock and pain. They were all kept quiet, none of them knew who would say it. They all lined up for Fajr.
Qārī Ameer al-Ḥasan had finished Fajr ṣalāh and was heading back to his tent for ibādah when he saw people standing there with something different about them. He asked someone: "What happened?" Now they were trying to figure out how to tell him. Someone said: "Your son passed away a few hours ago in the hospital. That's why things are as they are." The one who was with him told me: Qārī Ameer al-Ḥasan simply sat down and read:
He sat down to compose himself, reading إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ again and again. Then he said: "Where is the body?" — "It's here in the masjid." Then this 80-year-old, frail man — he was perhaps 80 pounds, that is how thin he was — this man who had lost his last child, who had already lost his wife and others, looked at the people and said: "Why did you bring the janāzah to the masjid? The sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ is that wherever a person passes away, in that city he should be buried. My son went to a hospital forty-five minutes away — why was his ghusl not given there and his burial not done there? Why are we breaking the sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ?"
My friends — this is what you call ṣabr 'alā al-ṭā'ah, besides ṣabr 'alā al-muṣībah. Remaining patient in the face of difficulty — of course — but simultaneously remaining patient and steadfast on good deeds and the sunnah. That no matter what the situation is, we are super-focused on the sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ. Emotions don't play here. The sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ takes preference over any emotion.
Yes, do you think he didn't love his son? The people whose hearts are connected with Allah — pure people — their love is far greater than ours. If we're honest with ourselves, we'll see that much of our love is based on our needs being fulfilled. That our child will help us in business, will make us proud, will make money, will bring honor. And when the son doesn't do that — where does that love go? Where's the love for the daughter or son who doesn't become successful by your definition? We see fathers who won't talk to their sons because the son decided not to become a doctor. This is our relationship with our kids — if they do something we don't like, "I don't want to talk to you."
The people whose hearts are connected with Allah — their love for their children has ikhlāṣ in it. They do not love their kids because their children listen to them or will bring money, fame, or honor. Their love is sincere: "I love my child for the sake of Allah — whether he loves me or not, whether he listens to me or not. He is an amānah, and I love him as an ummati of Rasulullah ﷺ. I love him because Allah entrusted me with him. I can't control how he responds to me. But I have to make sure my every response to what he or she does is measured in the manner of the sunnah of Rasulullah ﷺ."
Every One of Us Is Being Tested
Allah says: "I have made some of you a test for some of you. Are you going to remain patient? And your Lord is all watchful." He's watching how you respond. That is the thing.
Why are we handling two, three, sometimes four divorce cases per day? One of the big reasons: "But she said this, he said that." Leave he and leave she — what about you? Are you responding the way you're supposed to? It's easy to point fingers at others. Allah is testing you through him, and Allah is testing you through her.
My beloved brothers — every single second we are going through imtiḥān. Usually when we hear that someone had a car accident, lost their job, or is going through a divorce, we say: "Oh, that brother is being tested." What we don't realize is that the one who's speaking — who has no car accident, has a loving spouse, is healthy and wealthy — guess what? He is also being tested. He is also being tested. The difference is: the one going through hardship recognizes that he's being tested. And the one whose life is enjoyable, healthy, and wealthy doesn't realize he is being tested.
I was in Malawi last year and recently in Mewat, India — in both places, people living in mud huts. Coming for Ṣalātul Fajr in the dark, no lights, walking to Fajr. We think: "That person is being tested — can I donate to build him a nice house?" And the one living in a 4,000 square foot mansion — when was the last time he came for Ṣalātul Fajr when he has a self-driving car in his garage? It never even dawns on his mind. Who's being tested? We think the person in the mud hut is the miskeen who needs donations. But the one who needs the biggest help is you and I — who have all the luxuries possible, but if we cannot use those blessings to please Allah, there is nobody in more difficulty than you and I.
When we talk about the people of Gaza going through difficulty, the people of Sudan going through difficulty — yes, they are being tested. But I want you to realize: you and I are equally being tested. Equally being tested. I take my words back — I say we are being tested even more. Because those people, in all those videos, what are they saying?
They're turning their attention towards Allah again and again and again, even as they watch nine of their children being buried. And we have, alhamdulillah, every blessing at home — every blessing you and I are enjoying. But you tell the son, "Let's go for a prayer." He says, "For what?" You tell the daughter, "Let's go for a program." She says, "I've got soccer practice, basketball practice, swimming practice — I've got this, I've got that." No one has time for the masjid.
The Crisis in Our Communities: A Wake-Up Call
I was just telling Sheikh Sa'ad as I was coming here — I am so worried and saddened about the future of our own city. Forget about other cities — our city. The population has skyrocketed in the past 25 years. All of us who were not married then now have multiple kids — mashaAllah, alhamdulillah. Those who were parents are now grandparents. We have thousands of Muslim immigrants who have come. Yet — masjid programs are struggling compared to how they used to be.
I went to Canada last year — Toronto, the gold standard. The people organizing my programs told me: "Sheikh, we'll set things up, but don't expect people." I went to a place that had 200 Muslim stores — out of which the majority were restaurants and coffee shops — all in one spot. Every single type of food you can imagine. And so, the masjid programs were very sparsely attended.
I gave in one huge masjid — mashaAllah, a very big masjid. They had a talk after 'Ishā' about protecting ourselves from the misuse of digital devices. I had books and a presentation available. They announced it — that a sheikh from Chicago would be speaking. There were a lot of people for 'Ishā' — probably 400 or more, packed. But the attendance for the talk was about 20. I asked the imam: "Is this normal?" He said: "If they had announced the talk would be in Urdu, definitely at least double — maybe 40 people. But they announced it in English, so it was 20." I said that's an even more painful thing to hear. The chāchas and bābās — Urdu-speaking, Gujarati-speaking people — are sticking around. But the second and third generation — they're either not coming to the masjid, or if they come, they don't see the relevance. Yet the ones who did sit — because it was such an important topic — they were asking tons of questions: "We wish others heard this. What can we do?"
This is not an issue of Toronto, it's not an issue of Chicago — it's an issue of everywhere. I want you to wake up to this realization: we are being tested. Ask yourself — are you and I winning or failing? Are we passing or failing?
Most of the 35–40 year olds sitting here — you didn't go to a madrasa, you probably didn't even go to Islamic schools overseas. You might have had a mawlānā ṣāḥib come teach you Qur'an at home. But mashaAllah, 40 years later, you're sitting in a masjid on a Friday night listening to a talk. And then you have the next generation — whose parents, our generation — are sending their kids to his schools, madrasas, Islamic schools, to Qur'an tutors, Arabic classes, this and that — thousands of dollars being spent on their education and tarbiyah. But it is so hard to get them to attend any program.
The amount of effort put into the tarbiyah of our older generation — 40 plus — I believe, and correct me if I'm wrong, is far less than what you and I are doing for our kids. People raised in Karachi or Hyderabad in the 1950s and 60s — their fathers were not running around to masajid, to shaykhs of taṣawwuf. None of this. But they came out to be amazing people who raised us, and I am so indebted to everything they've done. Now look at what we're doing for our kids: tablīgh here, taṣawwuf there, 'ulamā here, Islamic schools there, this riḥla, that retreat — we're running around. And still, it's so hard to get our son to wear a kufi, so hard for our daughter not to wear tights. What's going on?
The challenge is that the enemy you're faced with today — the forces of darkness — are not quadruple, they are tens of times more than they were 60 years ago. So the amount of tarbiyah that our grandfathers did on our fathers is absolutely not sufficient if you and I replicate only that amount for our kids. When we are doing double of it, it's not cutting it. It's not cutting it.
It is so hard to find a respectful boy today who looks down respectfully when his dad is upset. A daughter who is respectful to her mother — it's very hard to find. Everyone is addicted to their phones. This is everybody's home. This is the reality. If you have a phone in your home — I don't care if it's you or me — this is going to happen. If our children have phones, this is exactly what's going to happen.
These devils were not around before. This device — yes, it has its benefits, but the harms are so many. And most of us are completely oblivious of the harms, or we are aware but it's in the back of our minds: "What can you do?" When I travel abroad — in India, in villages that don't have electricity, don't have running water, just well water, buffalo everywhere, no paved roads — the youth, after 'Ishā', I would sit with them and ask: "Baccho, what's the situation here?" And they would say: "Brother, every child in every home has a big mobile." Village kids are telling me this. They said: "When relatives come to our house, baba and mummy stand up and go meet them — but the kids never do. We're all on our devices."
They're all nodding their heads: "Yeah, our houses are done — finished, destroyed. We don't meet each other. We don't meet our relatives. Everyone's just on there, TikToking away." And they don't even realize the harm, nor are the scholars or IT professionals speaking on this issue in those areas — that you need to go to your settings, put on blockers, stop ḥarām content. We don't call it "adult content" — because it is never ḥalāl for adults either.