Marriage in Jannah, Desire, Dignity and Divine Mercy

Last time in this Surah Ar-Rahman series. Like you can't just say, okay, at least I'm not doing anything bad. Okay, fine, I don't pray.

And I don't fast. I don't do the good stuff. But at least I don't do any bad stuff.

That's not good enough. And then other people come around and say, well, I do a lot of good things. So what if I do a little bit of what? Bad things.

So, you know, Allah says, no, actually those who truly fear their Rabb, perhaps he's saying, they earn both the gardens. The garden of leaving sin, and also the garden of doing good. To help you follow along and reflect more deeply, we've created a companion workbook for this series.

Download it at www.bayyinah.com forward slash Ar-Rahman So far there's a loneliness, which is why, and this is just about the word furush. But now we have فَبِأَيِّ آلَاءِ رَبِّكُمْ تُكَذِّبَانِ. Now we're going to talk about the marriage in Jannah, the spouses in Jannah, which is going to get me in a lot of trouble. But we're going to talk about that because Allah talks about that.

So I'm going to be to level with you and share with you what I know of the subject. Interestingly, this is not a question you ladies have at all. There's other people in New York.

They have this question. So women in New York seem to have a problem with how come Allah mentioned spouses for men and these hur for men, but he doesn't mention anything for women, right? So this is a again, not a New Jersey problem, only a New York problem, specifically Long Island. Okay, so this is for those women.

My research team, my interns that I've kind of put together in Pakistan, nine of them are females. And we were studying the surah and we got to the surah. I was like, okay, I need to hear from you.

Why, how come Allah didn't mention your spouses and hur equivalent for you in Jannah and he mentioned something for the men? Help me understand from the female perspective, right? I put nine of them on the spot and there was a good 10 minute silence and then the insights started pouring out and one of them said, well, actually I don't want a spouse in Jannah. I don't I don't know if I would ever want a spouse. I actually just and the other one said I would and the other one said, I don't know, do I? Within the nine, there were probably six different opinions about and I said, okay.

So let me, I was like, let me simplify this. Let me simplify this. Ladies, tell me if there was three things that you want in Jannah.

One, two, three, three things, top three, you can have them. What are they? And there was again silence. I was like, is it awkward that I'm here? I can leave.

You can just figure this out yourself. No, no, that's not it. And then somebody said, I don't know, jewelry and then somebody said, no, I don't care about jewelry.

And then somebody said, marriage? And I said, maybe for you. I don't really care about marriage. I don't really care about that.

What do you want? I don't have to think about it. I don't really have to think about it. And I was like, see, that's the difference between men and women.

If you, you took men and you said, get three things. Like half the stuff is already covered. I'm sitting, food is taken care of.

There's like, I'm set. I'm already set, you know. There is a complexity to what women want.

And there's no uniform response, by and large. Yes, there can be men that say, I don't want a spouse and I just want to solve calculus problems. There's people like that.

Fine. Good for you, bro. Good for you.

But there's enough of the rest of us that don't want to solve calculus problems. But within the females, there is in fact diversity. There is in fact a variety.

And one of the mercies of Allah is, He did not cage what He will give women by very specific, you know, lists of things. The other thing is actually, it's an honor to women. Because imagine if Allah did mention, women are going to have these amazingly handsome husbands that are going to be there for their company or whatever.

And how embarrassed would a believing woman that her entire character is about guarding her modesty, is reciting these ayat. How awkward would that be, right? So even if they have that desire, the fact that it's not spelled out is actually a rahma too. Because it doesn't actually correspond to the nature of hayat that Allah put inside women.

So even if they have that thought, it doesn't have to be spelled out. Allah knows what they want. And that's enough.

You'll have what you desire. If somebody desires that, they'll have it. Why does it have to be spelled out? And if it was spelled out, it might cater to some and not to others.

And others might even be bothered by it. They're like, this whole life I suffered with a husband, now I gotta get another husband. Like, can I... Jannah will be when I don't have a husband.

You know, like... You know, so that could be the case. Allahu alam. So, you know, I earned my freedom kind of thing, right? So, but now coming back to the subject, why does Allah mention these beautiful spouses that are called hur that are dedicated for the pleasure of men and beautification of the life in Jannah for men? Allah created men with an intense desire of pleasure from the female.

Emotional, physical, all kinds, right? The company of a woman, the fact that he feels... When a man feels like this woman loves me, she respects me, she's crazy about me, she desires me. All of these things actually are a big part of the psyche of a male, right? And he longs for these things. She longs for these things, but he insanely longs for these things too.

And this is actually one of the biggest driving forces in the motivations of men to go and earn a living, to go and get out there and be something in the world because I just gotta get married, I just gotta get married, I can't get married until I'm somebody. Until I can stand on my feet so that I can get married, so that I can do this. So part of the aspirations of men is to become good enough to have a female, right, to have a wife.

So what Allah... And then the other thing is of course, you know, in ancient times you have these sahaba, right? They are... Before Islam came, they were just regular young guys, right? And there was no halal, haram about relationships and, you know, boyfriend, girlfriend, or this kind of... None of that was haram. And then Islam came and put a restriction. So they've seen the other side of life.

They've seen that. And now they've been stopped from it. Death stop.

And it's not like they moved to another town. They're still living in the same place. Some of those same people are still around, you understand? So it's not an easy transition.

We just think of the sahaba as all of a sudden they developed angelic wings and they, you know, that's not what happened. They had to go through a transition. And they had to make a lot of changes in their life, not easy ones.

Emotional attachments are not easy to break. Romantic attachments are not easy to break. But they broke them for the sake of Allah.

They did it. That's not an easy thing to do. It hurts.

So what does Allah do? Allah compensates the one who protected himself, guarded himself, withheld his desires, withheld his temptations, and then spells it out. You will have these beautiful spouses in Jannah. Allah actually spells out exactly the kind of woman you want in Jannah.

And this is what he's saying here. He says, قَاصِرَاتُ الطَّرْفِ. The primary description, قَاصِرَاتُ الطَّرْفِ.

You know what that means? قَصْرُ means to remain confined. قَصْرُ also means short. قَصَّرَ الشَّعْرَ means to get a haircut.

Same word, قَصْرُ. When you do قَصْرُ of salah, what does that mean? You shorten the prayer. Her eyes, her gaze, her glance is shortened.

Meaning it doesn't go past you. She's obsessed with you. She's all about you.

You're the center of her universe. But actually, Alusi flipped it too. It's so brilliant.

He said, she's the kind that your eyes don't go past her. Actually, she's قَاصِرَاتُ الطَّرْفِ for you. So once you see her, you're like, I don't need to see her.

What fruit? What waterfall? Hold the cup. You know, this is قَاصِرَاتُ الطَّرْفِ. They're obsessed with each other.

They're completely crazy about each other. And that's captured inside of قَاصِرَاتُ الطَّرْفِ. And then this description of this beautiful relationship of the spouse is actually a description of one of the great rewards of Jannah.

You know, in this world, you can be obsessed with someone but the feeling is not mutual, right? You want all of their attention, they give you 1% of theirs, right? Or they feel like, stop being so clingy. Stop being so needy. Why are you always texting me? Why are you always... Just give me some space.

You know, this is a relationship where they're perfectly happy not giving each other any space. And they find joy in that completion with each other, right? This is قَاصِرَاتُ الطَّرْفِ. And قَاصِرَاتُ asm suggest that this obsession is permanent.

This romantic obsession is permanent with each other. They find joy in being with each other. Now you're... Now this is like... Actually, this is Adam ﷺ story 2.0. Adam ﷺ was created.

He was alone. Allah created what for him? حَوَّاءُ عَلَيْهَا السَّلَامُ. That's his قَاصِرَاتُ الطَّرْفِ for him.

And now every one of us gets our own حَوَّاءُ in Jannah, right? That's the idea of قَاصِرَاتُ الطَّرْفِ. Now, the follow-up question that some women from Brooklyn have, not Long Island this time, is, well, if the women are getting this حُورُ, then what about me? What about... I mean, my husband's gonna get some حُورُ and then what am I gonna do? Like, where am I supposed to go? You know, he's got this حُورُ and then I'm just extra. And if his ayah is not even leaving her, thank you ayah, right? Now, what do I do? So, my answer to this question may not be satisfactory.

It's to the best of what I can understand from the text. Allah ﷻ in Jannah will give us whatever we desire. That's number one.

Number two, our emotional states are not going to be the same as they are now.

Any ill feelings, anything to do with insecurity, possessiveness, jealousy, those kinds of feelings will not be the way they are now. You know, and I actually met a woman recently who told me that I have lots of anxiety that my husband will go to Jannah.

Yeah, that he'll go to Jannah. He's really good man. He's really good man.

He gives a lot of صَدَقَةٌ. He does very good. And I just feel like Allah is gonna give him so many of these wives.

And I'm just not gonna have him anymore. And this is like, this is giving me anxiety. Like I love him so much.

I can't be without him. And Allah is gonna take him from me and just gonna put all these other women there. He keeps telling me, no, no, no, I'm only gonna want you in Jannah.

You're gonna be my number one or you're gonna be my only one. I'm gonna turn all of them down. And that may be the case.

That may be the case. Just because they're there doesn't mean that that's what you'll go for. Allah does this.

And I don't believe that the descriptions of Jannah like fruits for example. Does every human being like fruits? No. Does every human being like swimming or waterfalls or trees? No.

There's a description of trees and waterfalls and this caters to many. Maybe even caters to most. But Allah describe a Jannah that caters to everyone? No.

You know what that means? Allah is giving a general description. Allah is not giving a description cater to every single individual. So individual cases should not get anxiety because they see this and say, well, that's not what I want.

I want something else, you know. And what about what you want? Well, if every one of your individual considerations had to be articulated in the Qur'an, then we would have to recite ayat about people solving calculus problems, right? So that would not be something I wanna recite, you know. So you understand why it doesn't cater to individual.

So a statement had to be made that covers everybody. And what's that statement?

In it is whatever you will desire for yourselves and in it is whatever new demands you will make. So even new demands.

When you get to Jannah, your imagination opens up. You're like, I never thought I wanted this but now I do. Okay, just ask.

وَلَكُمْ فِيهَا مَا تَدَّعُونَ. And that's enough of a response to calm the nerves of a believer. Look, the first words were مُتَّكِئِينَ. They're reclining and relaxed.

There's not gonna be any anxiety. Nobody's getting shortchanged. But regardless this beautiful description, قَاصِرَةُ الطَّرْفِ has been given.

That no jinn and human being would ever have touched them before. From this some scholars extrapolated maybe jinns will have their own spouses in Jannah or they'll at least have spouses. No jinn will have touched the jinn's spouse before.

No human will have touched the human spouse before. Could also mean that these spouses have never been, you know, no waswasa has been done from the shaitan to them. No jinn has ever messed with them before, right? But this also speaks to a deeper reality.

Of course, there are people that are divorced and they get remarried. They've been with somebody else before, right? And then scholars started saying, well, this means these must not be humans. Because humans have been with someone before.

Many of them. And this is describing people that have never been with anybody before. They've never been touched and never been intimate with anybody before.

So this is a special new creation that's been created. Now, the last comment on this that I want to articulate is, I don't think this was a problem for most of Islamic history. But we are living in a time where we project a lot of our own injustices, especially the injustices between the genders.

And we project them onto the religion. So we say, oh, this is degrading to women because these women are just objects for these men. And they were just designed to be... This man in Jannah, his every fantasy is this one qasirat al-tarf, this qasirat al-tarf that he's been given, right? So this is objectifying women.

Actually, it's objectifying this creature was created for his desire. But the believing woman is not an object. The believing woman is a believer.

And she's not been put in Jannah to meet the desires of a man. So she's been separated from this conversation. And in it, I think there's also a dignifying of the believing women that they are actually given their own freedom to do as they choose, you know, and not been caged again.

Hey, by the way, you were under the qawamah of your husband in this life, and you had to be the best wife, and you had to be these things, and now you have to be those things again in the next life. No, you have your own decisions to make. You have your own choices to make.

But the spelling it out for the men actually caters to the nature with which Allah created men. Allah put the greatest desire in men for the desire they have for women. And they do all kinds of things to beat that desire.

And they have to control themselves their whole lives to not fall into that temptation. It's not because the temptation isn't there, but because this is something Allah put in them, and they have to fight it. They have to fight that urge.

And they have to constantly lower their eyes. If this wasn't hard for a man, Allah wouldn't be instructing men to lower their eyes, right? Allah would have said, Oh, you're happily married now. You don't have to lower your eyes anymore.

You're past the temptation now. You're good. Because you're completely in love with your wife.

So there's no issue for you anymore. So don't worry about it. That's not what it says, does it? Is it? Because the appetite, the waswasa, the desire, that's been embedded inside human nature.

It's in our physiology. Allah put it in there. He made us put that only in a halal direction, men.

And then He rewards those who controlled it all this time.

He stopped themselves. And those who want that to be unleashed in Jannah, Allah says to them, here.

You know what I really empathize with when I read this ayah? I get empathy. There were young sahaba, 18-year-olds, 20-year-olds, never got married, or got married, they were with their wife for one day, then went into battle and died. Right? Some never got married, some could never afford to get married.

You don't think they had the desire to get married? In this whole life, they may have thought nobody thinks I'm good enough, nobody thinks I have enough money, nobody thinks I'm handsome enough, nobody thinks I'm worthy enough. And that feeling of inadequacy, because many men live with that feeling, that they're not good enough. They can't have what they want.

Nobody's gonna like them. They're not likable. And Allah will now give them, hey, here's someone who's obsessed with you, loves you, and you're gonna love them.

Right? So this is actually a need, not just a physical or sexual need, but an emotional need that's actually been fulfilled in these words for these men that were deprived. Right?

I'll leave you guys with this one.

It is as though they are يَاقُوتٌ and مَرْجَانٌ.

Precious stone. Again, a Farsi word originally. Precious stones in multiple colors.

It could be rubies, you know, or other kinds of gemstones. And then مَرْجَانٌ we already covered. What was مَرْجَانٌ, do you know? Coral gems.

So he's comparing these spouses to gemstones, right, different color gemstones. What's the comparison of the spouse to color gemstones? First of all, مَرْجَانٌ was already mentioned in this world. Right? Timeless treasure.

And now the spouse in Jannah is being described as a timeless treasure. And the يَاقُوتٌ is now describing something that has eternal value. It never loses its quality.

And so Allah is describing as something that we cannot have in this life. The people can be married to each other like your parents have been married to each other forever since the time of Adam ﷺ. Right? When the first week when they were married, they maybe had this قَاصِرَاتُ الطَّرْفِ situation. The first month, they had the قَاصِرَاتُ الطَّرْفِ situation.

But you know the kinds of conversations they have over breakfast now, now that they're grandparents, you know, now that they're older. You know how they talk to each other. You know, I made you eggs.

I told you not to make the eggs. Well, you're gonna have the eggs because I made them. You know, this is... This doesn't sound like قَاصِرَاتُ الطَّرْفِ.

And it doesn't... There's something that decayed in the relationship. You could say the relationship matured, you know, but it really is decayed, right? It's decayed in the relationship. It's not what they... Sometimes, you know, couples have trouble and they go to a counselor, right? And the counselor says, well, can you guys remember the time you were happy? Right? And, you know, what's really confusing sometimes is the guy's memory of what was happy and her memory was totally different.

Right? It's just like, yeah, I remember. You were happy that day, like... But the thing is you have to go back to a time where you were in fact obsessed with each other because it doesn't stay that way. People fall in love, people fall out of love, situations change, fights happen, arguments happen.

You know, there's residue, there's scars, there's words that linger, right? There's expectations that weren't met, maybe unspoken things, communication problems. All these things happen between couples, right? And it takes a toll on the relationship and your relationship takes a lot of work for it to persevere. But the jannah relationship which is unimaginable for us in dunya is effortless.

It's effortless. The value between... They will remain valuable to you as if they are what? Timeless stones, timeless treasures. A treasure never loses its value.

It retains and even gains value, right? So the way you see them, the way you feel about them isn't changing. It's actually staying the same the entire time. Perhaps in this Allah has given us a hint towards what marriage is supposed to look like with our best efforts in this world.

You know, that we're supposed to create efforts to make the relationship timeless and to actually work towards this qasirat al-tarb. This is particularly difficult in our day and age. Because lowering the eyes or keeping the eyes on the person you're supposed to be attracted to, right, is become next to impossible in social media.

DMs, flipping between TikToks, Instagram, whatever, right? There is no more qasirat al-tarb. And there's an overabundance of choice. There's an overabundance of looking at another handsome man, another beautiful woman.

Oh, he's so much more confident than my husband is. He's so much more handsome. He's so much wealthier.

He's so much this, he's so much that. She's so much this. Why didn't I find someone like her? And these thoughts are constantly comparison, comparison, comparison, comparison.

You're not... Even though you're physically and socially, officially exclusive with your spouse, the mind is going everywhere because the eyes aren't constrained. The eyes are not constrained. I met a gentleman recently.

He told me something so profound. I want to share it with you. I think it's of absolute benefit to everybody.

This person was very successful in his career and very, you know, very famous also and popular and stuff. So he lived the life. Like before Islam, he just kind of lived the life, right? So he was with many women and all this kind of stuff.

Finds his deen, comes back to Allah, you know, gets married, settles down, and at first, he didn't make much of the fanfare. Like fans, women are still coming up to him, talking to him, this and that. He didn't think anything of it.

Then he just started studying some Quran and he got to this concept of lowering the eyes. Because he was noticing he was having trouble in his marriage, right? He wasn't finding his wife attractive. Even though he was obsessed with her before, he didn't find her attractive anymore.

She wasn't yaqoot and marjan anymore, right? He wasn't qasirat-ul-tarf towards her anymore. He found other women more attractive. He found other women more charming, right? So there was this innate suppressed desire that, man, I feel like I'm caged.

I could have somebody better. I could have somebody prettier. Why am I stuck with this person? That kind of thing, right? So he decided to practice just guarding himself.

No more private conversations with any females. No more, you know, just looking at someone for the sake of looking. Just only business, strictly restricted.

And he decided to just, he said, I'm just going to try this for six months. He gave himself six months because he felt that maybe this is something that's like holding my breath. I can't do it forever, but I'm going to try my best, right? So he goes, I have never been this much relieved of anxiety.

I've never been this happy in my life. I've never been this obsessed with my wife. I've never been this happy in my family.

Now, actually, I used to feel like the only way I can get release and feel good is if I go out to a party, if I go out with my friends, you know, meet people and socialize and see beautiful women and all this stuff. Now, when I feel like I just want to have a good time, I just want to go home and spend time with my wife and spend time with my kids. And I was like, that is actually revolutionary because that's now a rare commodity, right? But what was his secret? How did he rediscover, rewire? He literally described it as, I rewired my brain.

I feel like it's rewired where I now find pleasure in my family. I find pleasure. I don't find responsibility and burden and, I guess I'm stuck, you know.

That's not what he feels. He actually feels joy in his family. This is such a serious thing, guys, because... And I'm talking to the men now.

You know, you guys, you don't have... I know for a fact, Muslim men don't have a safe space to be able to talk about what they really feel. I know that. And so I'm going to say some things to you that maybe you don't want to hear but I'm going to tell them.

Just pretend you're not listening. So, if you don't address that not finding joy in your family and you're holding that inside and the relationship you have with your spouse is just getting darker and darker and darker and you're doing it because you're supposed to, you're living it because you're supposed to but there's no genuine joy in it anymore. There's no genuine love in it anymore and you're scared to verbalize that and say, hey, I'm not feeling something I'm supposed to feel.

I need to do something about that. If you don't reach out for help, then you're going to ruin your life and her life and your kid's life. If you don't get help, you need help.

And hopefully, the best person who can help you is your spouse themselves. But the thing is, when you turn to her for help, you cannot say, what did you say? I'm sorry, what? You're not happy? If anyone has a reason to not be happy, it's me. And you start flipping it as you should be grateful that you have what you have and you're so ungrateful and you're so this and then you shame him into silence again and you say, I'm sorry I expressed my feelings.

I'll rewire my feelings according to your anger so that you don't have to ever hear these uncomfortable words again. Right? You can silence him with your reaction or you could say, you know what? I feel the same way. I feel like there's no joy in this marriage anymore.

We need to do something about that. You can have not a defensive conversation, an honest conversation, a vulnerable conversation about restoring the joy in marriage. Because if you don't have joy in your marriage and you don't have pleasure in your marriage and you don't have happiness in your marriage, then you're both in shaitan's playground.

Guaranteed. There's no like maybe. Guaranteed you're in shaitan's playground.

And you're ruining the next generations of Muslims. This is a responsibility bigger than yourself. Bigger than yourself.

You have to have the bravery and the sincerity to be able to have that conversation with your spouse. That's absolutely fundamental and essential. This is a joy of Jannah.

But it's a joy of Jannah. Everything that Allah describes about Jannah is something people want when? Here. They want it here.

And the closest taste of Jannah in this life is a good spouse. And it's not just a spouse that prays five times a day. Because you could pray 12 times a day and still be a terrible spouse.

But there's something else between you and your spouse. The husband to the wife, the wife to the husband. That is a separate issue.

That's a completely separate issue. And you have to turn that into some degree. As much as you can of قَاصِرَاتُ الطَّرْفِ.

Your eyes must be restricted towards her, hers towards you. I'm gonna give you guys real talk, then I'll give you your break. What's keeping that from happening? You know, when you marry somebody, of course you find them beautiful, of course you find them attractive.

But you know what makes somebody unattractive? Is their words, and their behavior, and their attitude, and their body language. Or the hurtful things they said and they never take back. And even when they take it back, they make it worse before they make it better.

You know, there's some people that when you say, hey, you said this is really hurt. They process that for a second and then they say, oh yeah? And then they say something 10 times more hurtful. And then later they say sorry.

Right, they're in a habit of making things a lot worse before they make things any better, right? And they've developed this self-destructive mechanism. These kinds of things, it's like you punch someone and then you say sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. The next time you punch them again, they say okay, okay, okay, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Over time, what is the person who keeps getting punched? Do you think they feel the same about you? You think they like being around you then? Whether it's the husband or the wife, both can do this by the way. You think they just want to be around you? They don't find any joy being with you. They're just there with you because they're supposed to be, not because they want to be.

And until that supposed to be becomes want to be, we're in trouble. That's just trouble. So Allah is giving us some very serious hints here at what's supposed to happen in this life.

What's remarkable in the Qur'an is Allah did not talk about how to have a healthy marriage. You know that? He didn't. He just one ayah in surah al-Rum, here's the purpose of marriage.

That's it. There's no here's what you do when you're having trouble or here's how you fix your marriage. Nope.

A whole surah on divorce and then five pages in Baqarah on divorce but no long discussions on a healthy marriage. You know why? Because Allah made you and I capable of figuring it out. Anything you can figure out yourself, Allah is not going to give you instructions.

He said enough,

It's a principle. Say the upright thing, be straightforward, Allah will fix your situation. Allah has a rule.

Man, if you apply that rule, how many times you have something in your heart you want to say to your spouse, you don't say it? How many times there's something in your heart, you're like, nope, not safe enough to say, not safe enough to say. You keep building that up inside, you're going to develop a resentment farthest thing from Yaqut and Marjan, isn't it? And when you don't have that, then everything else looks shinier. Everything else looks more attractive except what you have, both for the husband and for the wife.

And then imagine the damage that does to the children, right? So may Allah give us the strongest marriages, the most beautiful marriages, and the most vulnerable honest marriages in which we can speak our fears, our anxieties, the things that are bothering us, the things that can make the marriage better from our perspective. I pray that Allah gives us the courage to have that conversation so we can get a glimpse of what we're going to get in Jannah here, you know. And the last comment about this is on possessiveness.

Allah put in our nature possessiveness. But don't confuse possessiveness with ownership. Possessiveness is temporary.

Like a mother is possessive of her child, yes or no? Yeah, but on judgment day, what's she doing to a child? You know, right? She's dropping a child.

Right? What is Allah telling us? These feelings that we have that are very strong, they are limited to this planet, this existence. There's another life that's coming where the possessiveness of this world and the strong feelings of this world, many of those feelings will be evolved into something much more mature, much more beautiful, much more strong.

It's not going to have insecurity in it. It's not going to have anxiety in it. It's not going to have fear in it.

All the negatives, all the negative feelings can be captured in the word غِلٌّ.

We will pull out any negative feelings they may have had. Any negative feelings they may have. So we're going to be emotionally a different species when we're resurrected, when we're put in Jannah.

So don't project what's happening here with what's going to happen in Jannah. That's a new life. It's a new existence that's defined by joy.

And it's defined by permanent joy for both men and women. Coming up next time in this Surah Ar-Rahman series. When we approach the Qur'an, what state does my heart have to be in? What emotional state do I have to be in? What is my attitude towards this book? Look, we believe the word of Allah is perfect.

We believe the word of Allah is from Allah Himself. It has guidance. All of that's fine.

But practically speaking, when you open up the Qur'an and you start to study a Surah, you have to mentally prepare yourself and tell yourself that everything in this Surah is perfect. I'm not.