Save Yourselves and Your Children - Professor Hammad Lakhawi

Save Yourselves and Your Children

Al-ḥamdu liLlāhi naḥmaduHu wa-nastaʿīnuHu wa-nastaghfiruHu wa-nuʾminu biHi wa-natawakkalu ʿalayhi wa-naʿūdhu biLlāhi min shurūri anfusinā wa-min sayyiʾāti aʿmālinā. Man yahdihiLlāhu fa-lā muḍillalahu wa-man yuḍlil fa-lā hādiyalahu. Wa-ash'hadu an lā ilāha illā Llāhu waḥdahū lā sharīka lahu wa-ash'hadu anna Muḥammadan ʿabduhu wa-rasūluhu, arsalahu bil-ḥaqqi bashīran wa-nadhīran bayna yaday al-sāʿah. Fa-man yuṭiʿ Allāha wa-rasūlahu fa-qad rashada wa-htadā, wa-man yaʿṣi Allāha wa-rasūlahu fa-qad ḍalla baghā fa-innahū lā yaḍurru illā nafsahu wa-lā yaḍurru Allāha shayʾā.

Nasʾal Allāha rabbanā an yajʿalanā mimman yuṭīʿuhu wa-yuṭīʿu rasūlahu wa-yattabiʿu riḍwānahu wa-yajtanibu sakhaṭah, fa-innamā naḥnu bihi balāgh. Ammā baʿdu, fa-inna khayr al-ḥadīthi kitābu Llāh, wa-khayr al-hadyi hadyu Muḥammad ﷺ, wa-sharr al-umūri muḥdathātuhā, wa-kulla muḥdathatin bidʿah, wa-kulla bidʿatin ḍalālah, wa-kulla ḍalālatin fin-nār.

Aʿūdhu biLlāhi al-samīʿi al-ʿalīm mina al-shayṭāni al-rajīm, min hamzihi wa-nafkhihi wa-nafthih.

O you who claim to be the believers — save yourselves and your families from a fire, the fuel of which are human beings and stones, and over that fire there are angels who are stern and strong, and they do not disobey Allah whatever He commands them, and they do precisely and exactly what they are commanded for.

Ṣadaqa Llāhu al-ʿAẓīm.

The Responsibility of Shahada

We the Muslims, when we claim that we are the believers and we observe Shahada, there are so many responsibilities which are imposed at once. And actually, observing Shahada is to accept those responsibilities by one's own choice. So after having become a Muslim, there is no choice of pick and choose within the commandments of Islam. You will have to become a complete and perfect Muslim according to the abilities which Allah Almighty has given to you and bestowed upon you. Just enter into Islam and be a complete and perfect Muslim.

So how to become a perfect Muslim? There are so many dimensions of this perfection. And Allah Almighty has given the limit of perfection with the concept that you may do just as you are given the abilities by Allah Almighty. In other words, you are not bound to reach the destination — you are just bound to struggle for it. And if you are struggling and making effort in the right direction, then you will be considered as having reached the destination. This is the blessing of Allah Almighty — that we should do according to our abilities.

The Three Stages of Success

As far as our abilities as Muslims are concerned, socially — the social aspect of these responsibilities starts from our offspring, our kids, and our families. Allah Almighty has commanded us that the ultimate destination is one of two: either Jannah or Jahannam. Who is saved from the hellfire and entered into Jannah?

There are actually three stages of falāḥ, fawz, and success in the light of Islam:

The first is Najāt — to simply be saved from hellfire and other torments of Allah Almighty. The second stage is Falāḥ — if you are given your result card in your right hand and you are announced that you are saved from hellfire and you are eligible for Jannah, then you are minal muflihīn. That is the concept of falāḥ. But the next and topmost stage is Fawz — the ultimate destination which is fixed for you in Jannah. If you reach that castle, if you reach your residence there, then you would be called fāʾiz. That is the fawzul ʿaẓīm.

So through all three stages, you are bound to move away from hellfire — by yourself as well as by saving your families from the hellfire. This is your foremost duty. Socially, we can say it is the very first duty of a Muslim: to save himself or herself and his offspring and his family from the hellfire.

Two Types of Upbringing

But how to save? We feel ourselves responsible — especially in this country and in developed countries regarding infrastructure as well as awareness. These are developed countries, and there are no parents who are unaware of their responsibilities regarding their children. But the responsibility is not of only one kind. There are two types of upbringing.

We feel ourselves responsible to provide food to the kids, to provide protection and a home and other facilities and luxuries of life. But we never feel that a bigger — rather, the biggest — duty is to save them from hellfire. Are we struggling for that? Are we aware of that duty? Are we making efforts to save our families from hellfire?

We become worried if our kid is not going to school. We become worried if he is not taking breakfast. But we never feel worried if he does not pray, if he has no awareness regarding hellfire, regarding Jannah, regarding his life, regarding the purpose of his life, regarding the concept of life.

The Meaning of Rabbayānī

I would like to mention one point. Look at the supplication which Allah Almighty teaches the children to make for their parents:

What is the meaning of رَبَّيَانِي?

رَّبِّ ٱرْحَمْهُمَا — O my Allah, O my Sustainer, have mercy on both of them — كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا — just as they brought me up when I was small.

Again the same word: رَبَّيَانِي. Who is the Rabb and what have the parents done? Why are they called رَبَّيَانِي? They were responsible for all of your worldly, practical, and physical needs — but as well as your spiritual needs. We translate the word Rabb — if it is used alone, without any other phrase, it is used only for Allah Almighty. But if it is used with other words and phrases, then it can be used for creation as well.

So what responsibility does the creation observe when they are called رَبَّيَانِي? The dictionary says:

To bring up something — ḥālan fa-ḥālan — stage by stage, step by step — ilā ḥaddi al-tamām — to the ultimate destination.

So if the parents are رَبَّيَانِي, if they are rabb in the sense of upbringing, that is not only physical upbringing — that is spiritual upbringing as well. And no person, no human being, could be saved from hellfire by merely giving him the provisions of this worldly life. They would be saved from hellfire if you are making your efforts toward his spiritual upbringing.

Spiritual Duties from the First Day

Look at the rights and duties of the parents — and the rights of the offspring — starting from the day you gave birth to them. The day you gave birth to them, the duties have begun. The initial duties are physical, but as soon as the child approaches an age of having some spiritual abilities — if he can think, if he can speak — you are bound to make them learn the purpose of life.

The Holy Prophet ﷺ says:

(Reported by al-Bayhaqī in Shuʿab al-Īmān; also referenced by scholars of upbringing in Islamic literature)

When they start speaking, just make them learn the first thing, the first word, the first kalima — لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ — so that they could be aware of why they are in this world and what the purpose of their life is, and how to live this life, how to spend their childhood, their youth, and their old age.

Taḥnīk: The Blessing on the First Day

There is a hadith in Sahih Muslim — Hazrat Aisha says:

(Sahih Muslim, Book 43, Hadith 2147)

The children were brought to the Holy Prophet ﷺ on the very first day. The Holy Prophet ﷺ would give them barakah — فَيُبَرِّكُ عَلَيْهِمْ — and he would do taḥnīk — وَيُحَنِّكُهُمْ. He would make a paste of dates and feed the child as its very first food in the world. That is called taḥnīk, and it carries a spiritual blessing.

We give the adhān in the ear of the child — that is observed among Muslims. But as far as the barakah of taḥnīk is concerned, most Muslims are unaware of it. We can approach scholars and pious persons for this barakah now that the Holy Prophet ﷺ is no longer among us. That is the first step.

ʿAqīqah: The Seventh Day

Then on the seventh day, the Holy Prophet ﷺ says:

(Sunan al-Tirmidhī, Hadith 1522; Sunan Abī Dāwūd, Hadith 2838)

Each and every newborn baby is mortgaged against his ʿaqīqah. The ʿaqīqah is the sacrifice which should be observed on the seventh day. If it is done, it means that we are on the right track — the track of spirituality, the track of saving ourselves as well as our families and children from the hellfire.

Step-by-Step Guidance

Go back and just look at the meaning of رَبَّيَانِي. It means that if you have children, if you have families, if you have wives and other family members, you are responsible for their step-by-step guidance — stage by stage, day by day, morning and evening, each and every time. For what? To give them food? To give them a home? No — that is also your duty, to give them a home and food — but it becomes dangerous if you are focusing upon only worldly things and saving them from the hellfire is not your focus.

When the Holy Prophet ﷺ says, and when the Quran also mentions, that mother's feeding is also a responsibility of the parents —

Mothers should breastfeed for two complete years — حَوْلَيْنِ كَامِلَيْنِ. This is the right of the child. If it is not observed, there are so many implications — physical as well as spiritual — when we disobey the commands of the Holy Prophet ﷺ and the Holy Quran.

Give Your Children Confidence

Time is running forward. I will complete with one more hadith. There was a small incident which took place in the time of the Holy Prophet ﷺ, and there are so many aspects which we can infer from it.

The upbringing of the children and the families, and saving them from hellfire, does not mean that you just impose your own discretion. Give them confidence. This is the teaching of the Holy Prophet ﷺ.

The Holy Prophet ﷺ was sitting among the companions one day and a drink was presented to him. After having drunk from it, he wanted to give the remainder to the companions — the elders who were sitting around him. The Holy Prophet ﷺ always observed the rule of starting from the right side. But on the right side there was a young boy, a lad — al-ghulām — while on the left side there were elders — al-shuyūkh.

The Holy Prophet ﷺ could have made a new ruling — that if a young boy is on the right side, you may start from the left. He could have made that law. But he was teaching us how to save our families, how to teach them, how to give them confidence. He simply asked that young boy: "If you allow me — I want to give this drink to the elders. If you allow me."

Allahu Akbar! The Holy Prophet ﷺ is asking permission from a young boy. And that child — he was also trained by the Holy Prophet ﷺ. This hadith is reported in Sahihayn — both Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim.

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 2451; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2030)

The young boy said: "I would not give preference to anyone over the share which I am to receive from you. If I can have something from you, how can I prefer anyone else over myself? I will not withdraw my right."

Allahu Akbar! The Holy Prophet ﷺ then gave it to him directly and said: "Take it — just like this, take it."

There are so many subjects and aspects that could be inferred from this incident. But I will mention only one: just give your children confidence. That you are on the right path — the path of Najāt, Falāḥ, and Fawz. We are trying to save ourselves from the hellfire and making ourselves eligible for Jannah.

May Allah help us and give us tawfīq for this purpose, and may Allah accept from us all of our good deeds.