Faith and Gender Challenges Explored | Shaykh Abdullah Oduro | EPIC Masjid

Faith and Gender Challenges in Our Time

We are facing a lot of challenges in regards to gender. الحمد لله, we have a lot of questions regarding gender dynamics. الحمد لله, we have a lot of challenges in regards to what does all of that mean in 2024 and beyond. And I say الحمد لله for all of these challenges, because every challenge that we call a challenge has the potential to be an opportunity. And that is couched or founded in our faith in Allah.

Understanding Fitna as a Test and Opportunity

For every challenge can be termed as a fitna. When we look at the word fitna, fitna linguistically comes from fatana, which means to put something under severe heat. Therefore, when you're faced with a hard situation, it's something that is very hot. How do you allow it to mold you? They call the person fatana, the one that puts iron underneath. And then iron is malleable. It's able to be moved and manipulated. Therefore, when it cools down, when the argument is over between the husband and wife or sister and brother, how do you allow that interaction to mold you? When you go through it, who do you count on?

Allah says:

Every soul shall taste death. This is a fact. But then he talks about life. And we will test you with good and evil as a fitna. It is there to mold you. My grandmother passed away from COVID, for example. How do you allow that to mold you? When you think about the fact that إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ - we are for Allah and to Him we will return?

Our Purpose: Created for Worship

And from this is where I want to start. Understanding that we are for Allah. Allah says, firstly, when talking about gender, when talking about society and how it plays a role within our gender, the first thing that we need to understand is that Allah gives us the purpose of life:

Verily, I have not created the jinn, the spirits and mankind except that they worship Me. So there is a negation of creation except for one reason. Allah tells you, the reason he did the action of khalq, of creation, is for worship. So our purpose of life is to worship Allah. Our purpose in life is to live up to our potential that Allah has given us individually and collectively. And the way that we fulfill that potentiality can be determined by our gender.

Rites of Passage and Masculine Excellence

How? When we talk about gender, brothers and sisters, when I tell young men, I have a group for young men, it's called Master, when we talk about masculine excellence from an Islamic lens. Because I feel that once young men understand masculinity through, when you look through evolutionary psychology, you look through sociology, anthropology particularly, they talk about something called rites of passage. How many familiar with this term, rites of passage? Raise your hand.

Okay. No, I don't see any males raising their hand. This is important. When I shun the males, the sisters laugh. This is always like, when I say males don't do this, the sisters laugh. It's like, healthy competition.

Look it up. Mothers, particularly. Fathers, especially. R-I-T-E-S of passage. There's a couple of good books on this. I know Leonard Sachs has come here. ماشاء الله. There's a really good book called Manhood in the Making. Rites of passage speaks about how men become men from seeing other men as boys. A boy will not truly understand masculinity and manhood and what that means as a father, what that means as a brother, what that means as a protector, unless he sees other men do it. And even better than that, he sees men that are intentional about his transition from boyhood into manhood.

Another good book called The Boy Crisis by Warren Farrell. But anthropologically, you'll see throughout history in Manhood in the Making, he brings the argument that there has always been some type of ceremonial practice that brings the boy into manhood.

For example, there's a tribe that when the boy reaches of an age that they see he has signs of manhood on him, not only physically but the way he carries himself, they send him out into the jungle to kill an antelope by himself with a bow and arrow. What does he go through? Fear. He's alone. What he learned from his uncles on how to shoot the bow and arrow. What he learned from his uncles when they used to bring home the head of the antelope. What does he do at this moment? That fear, that exertion of strength that he has, that he probably didn't know he had until that moment. Does he come back with the head of the antelope? If he doesn't, he goes back with mama. Okay, he's a couple more years. If he does, he's supposed to give the heads of the antelope to his mother. And what's so beautiful about this is because it's showing just as you provided for me, I am meant to provide for you mom.

As they have both raised me when I was young. When speaking about the righteousness to the parents, there's been a reminder, رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا - they raised me when I was young.

So this is an aspect of the young man, the young boy facing fear. He's scared. He has to exhibit his strength as the Muslim they trust in Allah. And that's what's so beautiful about the rites of passage. We see that with youth directors and youth groups, boy scouts, particularly in the past. It was to teach young men and young women. What is womanhood? What is manhood?

Islamic Perspective on Gender: Fixed, Not Fluid

And it's important for us to know as Muslims that we have something called the tawqifi. That there are things that are static. They are not malleable. There is not a spectrum. When we speak about gender brothers and sisters in Islam, there are two. Allah says in the Quran:

The male is not like the female. Allah has set a standard that they are not alike. A standard that the male is not like the female.

The Story of Inheritance and Gender Roles

Allah as well, a beautiful verse, I'll get to this verse. The verse that many of us know and it may be controversial for some, but Allah speaks about it. Allah says that men are the qawwamun, and I don't want to translate it because I want to explain it, upon women. That men are the qawwamun upon women for what Allah has given them, preferred them, or given them over others and from what they spend, from what they have. There's a verse I want to talk about before that.

There is an explanation, a story that took place between two companions. When the verse, a portion of the verse where Allah says:

Allah is reminding you about your children or admonishing you or teaching you about your children because what comes after it is to speak about how this happens or how the money is dispersed, the inheritance. He starts out by saying, for the male is the amount of two females. If I have a son and a daughter and two daughters and Allah decides to take me as a father for my inheritance, and I don't, my wife gets her portion, but my children, my son gets the same amount as both of his sisters combined. And this is where society may say, where we may live, it's predominantly not Muslim or predominantly not using Islam as the guiding light. How in the world does the man get the amount of two females, two women?

We have to take a step back and see when Allah speaks to us in the sharia. Number one, he is speaking to the fitrah. He's speaking to your unadulterated selves. He is calling you back to your pure self. Whenever you read a verse in the Quran, or an ayah, authentic hadith from the Prophet, know that he is calling you back to your fitrah, whatever authentic hadith you read or ayah. So if it doesn't sit well with you, you're human. This happens. But we have to do revisionist history of our own intellectual exercise, of our own experiences. Why do I think this way? What am I consuming on a regular basis on this thing? What am I consuming? What am I watching? What does my heart lean towards because I'm consistently watching it?

The Companions' Response to Inheritance Laws

When this portion of the verse was revealed, I want you all to listen closely to this. This is interesting. Some of the men came to the Prophet and then they said, O messenger of Allah, just as we receive double the amount for women, we receive, a man receives twice the amount of women. Let us get twice the amount in reward.

Oh, no, I heard someone say, the sahabiyyah didn't let that slide. They didn't let that slide. They said, O messenger of Allah, just as we receive half of the amount of one man, let us receive half as the punishment, if there's any punishment. Does that mean that the sahabiyyah brothers, I want to ask the brothers, does that mean that the female companions are feminists? خلاص ساكت لا تتكلم - Be quiet, you have nothing to say. Doesn't mean they were feminists. No, at all. When the Prophet would say something, they would ask, they would speak out.

When this was, when they said this, Allah revealed:

Allah revealed at that moment, listen, and do not hope for what Allah has given you from his virtue, one upon the other, upon each other. What do we mean by this? It's particularly talking about the inheritance. But this can be extendable to biology, psychology. What Allah has given you from his fadl, fadl, I want everyone to say this word on the count of three, fadl, one, two, three. Louder. One more time. Fadl.

The Divine Wisdom in Gender Differences

Remember this, brothers. Remember this, sisters. It's the fadl of Allah that is couched in mercy, that is couched in love, that is couched in knowledge, that is couched in wisdom, that he made you female and that he made you male.

So when Allah says this, biology, let's start with biology. Very interestingly, when we hear that gender is a social construct, we as Muslims don't accept that. We don't accept that. We say gender is a biological construct. Gender and sex are synonymous. They try to separate it. Yeah, you're born a boy, but you feel like a girl. Therefore, you change what Allah has given you in order to be that. Islamically, this is impermissible.

So when Allah says what he's given you, it's important to know that biologically for the men, they have what is called the XY chromosome and the woman or the female is the XX chromosome. We understand that and we know that but what is the functionality of it? Allah is intentional when he does that. He's intentional when you look on the ultrasound and you may see some anatomical structures that determine this is a male and this is a female. Guess what? The Y chromosome has something to do with that takween for that metamorphosis, for that change or for that form of creation. The Y chromosome as well is known to secrete certain proteins inside of the blood to where it crosses what is known as the blood-brain barrier to where the psychology is different.

What do we mean? What do we mean? Give you an example. Where are the married men here? Okay. Where are the soon-to-be-married men here? Yes, I love it when the young boy's raising. My man, I see you in the back shake. Single. What's your name? Where are the mothers here? ماشاء الله. When Allah mentioned this verse and he talks about the virtue that he's given upon the male and the female, we see here the way of thinking.

Understanding Our Natural Roles

For example, the married men when you call home, sometimes you're calling home on your way to work, your way from work, and you have two newborn babies that they're all below the age of five. Most of the time when you call, you're going to call and you hear what in the background when she answers the phone? What do you hear men? Husbands? Crying. This may not be you, but this happens sometimes. The husband calls and he hears crying in the background and the wife is like, yes, what's going on? The man, he can't deal with. He's like, are you going to take care of that? You're going to handle that situation? What are you talking about? The children crying in the back. What's wrong with the children crying in the back? This is how Allah has created the man. This is how Allah has created the woman.

There's another way Allah has created the man and the woman. Scenario. This has probably happened to some of you. It's happened to me twice. Late at night, you're sitting with your wife. You hear downstairs in another room by the front door and then you hear some whispering. You didn't invite anyone over at 2 a.m. It's not Ramadan. This is outside of Ramadan. Sisters, you're sitting down with him. He hears the rustling, both of you hear it. You grab his arm and he says, you're going to go check that out? Go check it out. I'll sit right here. You go. Go right there. She would say, you go and then she would say, here's your ring. Here, here. Take, take, take. We're laughing because we know the answer. The men are quiet, by the way, too. We know the answer. Fitrah, fitrah, fitrah. Expectations.

Understanding Allah's Distribution of Roles

I'll conclude with the verse that I mentioned that I was going to talk about. So in that verse, Allah says that Allah gives men their naseeb and gives women their naseeb. He gives them their portion, their portion. Inheritance, the way we think as men, biologically, psychologically, our biology, what he has given us, the way we use the biology and women as well, does not mean one is better than the other. Allah says in the Quran, portion of the verse.

Allah says, الرِّجال, and I want to start with this word. الرِّجال, mutaqawwin min thalathatin uroof, taqriyyah, the ossol of the word is three letters. Ra, jeem, and what else? Lam. What other noun or thing has these three letters? We see it's men. What other thing has these three letters? Leg, right?

The Richness of Arabic Language

The Arabic language is rich because it has history and it has an etymology, that is, a story behind it. Most scholars have the opinion that nouns are derived from verbs. So when you see the word seerah, for example, seerah means what? History. Seerah yaseeru, seeru fil ard, travel, journey. What's the connection? When you study the seerah, it is like you are journeying through that time. Seerah is going to be like you go on a time machine and you're going on a journey. Maybe in a seyyarah. Right? Arabic morphology is rich because it is intentional and it has stories behind it.

So when we look at رجل and رجال, what's the connection? There has to be a connection by the way. I just gave you two examples. Can I move this way without something leading me there? Do I need support in order to move there? So when Allah says رجل, it is an expectation for the boy to move to a man with these characteristics and more. Support.

The Role of Protection and Provision

Husbands. Do your wives feel that you are ready to die for them? I was going to say support, but die. No. We need to talk. There's the arbitration. We have issues. They're here. And sisters, it's important for us to remember, mothers, wives, that our husbands are there to sacrifice their lives for you. And rightfully so. I'm not saying they're for you. No. Rightfully so. But at the same time, the word inn is earned. It's earned. Just as the word رجل is earned.

If he is someone that supports the family, emotionally, financially, this is where he's a رجل. But he may be 40 and he's still a walad. So Allah is putting the expectation, the الرِّجال, when you embody rajula, manhood, masculinity, then you will naturally be qawwam. Protect, provide, preside. These are the three. Protect, provide, preside. Preside means to lead. And lead is the result. When you protect and provide, you naturally lead. The woman, inshallah, will naturally want to be led by you because you embody the masculine energy of protection, provision, support. And this is what is important.

Understanding Financial Responsibilities

And with this framework that Allah is intending from marriage, from the union of man and woman, when we say for the man is the amount of two women or for the male is the amount of two females, the woman, the female, understands my money stays here. His money goes from here to there. And I'm on this side, the sister. Right? Islam is speaking to you as a man for you to be a father and for you as a sister, a female, to be a mother or a good auntie or sister. Family structure.

The Objectives of Sharia

That is the maqasid of the sharia. From one of the five or some say six objectives of the sharia is حفظ النسل, the preservation of the lineage. The lineage cannot be established primarily, primarily, originally, without a man and a woman. And anything, anything in society that comes to try to break that down or separate it, we reject it.

When we look at, for example, I'm done here after this. When we look at, for example, the sexual revolution, the birth control pill, look this up. When you look at the industrial revolution, the whole concept of the nuclear family, these are things that were elements that left remnants of those ways that we think that can separate the family. And ultimately, brothers and sisters, it's important that we have izzah and that we honor these mechanisms that the sharia presents to establish and maintain the connection between أبناء آدم وحواء.

Concluding Du'a

May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bring our hearts together. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make us of those that see the sharia and we have izzah in the sharia, might and honor in the deen that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has brought us. إنه هو لي وذلك وصلى الله عليه وسلم وبركاته بإن محيرين وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين.