Major Life Milestones (with British Sign Language) - Shaykh Ahsan Hanif

Opening — Khutbah al-Hajah

إِنَّ الْحَمْدَ لِلَّهِ تَعَالَى نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِينُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنْ شُرُورِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللَّهُ فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَصَحْبِهِ وَسَلَّمَ تَسْلِيمًا كَثِيرًا

أَمَّا بَعْدُ، فَإِنَّ أَصْدَقَ الْحَدِيثِ كِتَابُ اللَّهِ تَعَالَى وَخَيْرَ الْهَدْيِ هَدْيُ مُحَمَّدٍ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَشَرَّ الْأُمُورِ مُحْدَثَاتُهَا وَكُلَّ مُحْدَثَةٍ بِدْعَةٌ وَكُلَّ بِدْعَةٍ ضَلَالَةٌ وَكُلَّ ضَلَالَةٍ فِي النَّارِ

Holding Ourselves to Account

One of the issues that is recommended for us as Muslims is that we should hold ourselves to account — that we should reflect upon our situation, where it is that we have come from, where it is that we are going. This was the practice of the companions, radiAllahu 'anhum ajma'een, and the Salaf, alayhim rahmatullah.

Umar radiAllahu 'anhu said:

(Attributed to 'Umar ibn al-Khattab — Jami' al-'Ulum wal-Hikam, Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali)

"Hold yourselves to account before Allah holds you to account, and weigh your own deeds before Allah weighs them for you."

His son, Abdullah ibn Umar radiAllahu 'anhu, used to say: "If you find the morning — if you reach the morning — don't expect to see the evening. And if you reach the evening, don't expect to see the morning." The believer is the one who, as often as they can, holds themselves to account.

There are certain milestones in our lives that are even more worthy of that holding to account — even more worthy of us to stop and pause and to ponder and reflect as to the direction of our lives: where it is that we've come from, what it is that we're doing now, where it is that we are going.

The Rights of Parents — Surah al-Ahqaf (46:15)

One such milestone is what is mentioned in the Book of Allah in Surah al-Ahqaf, verse 15, in which Allah begins by admonishing us and reminding us about the rights of our parents — because that is from the reflection that a person has of the blessings of Allah upon them.

"We have enjoined upon a person that they are dutiful and righteous towards their parents — good to them." And that is because of the extreme right of the parents.

Allah in this verse gives us a couple of reasons as to why the rights of parents are so great in Islam. Whoever studies the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam will know that it is replete with narrations — numerous narrations — that speak about the virtues and the rewards of being dutiful to your parents, that speak about the rights they have upon you, that speak about your responsibilities towards them. Why?

"Your mother carried you and it was a difficult carrying, and she gave birth to you and it was a difficult birth."

Ibn Umar radiAllahu 'anhu was once making tawaf around the Ka'bah and he saw a man with his mother upon his shoulders — he was carrying her, making tawaf. And tawaf is difficult at the best of times, but he's carrying his mother on his back. And he said, "O Abu Abdur Rahman" — addressing Ibn Umar — "do you think that I've repaid my mother now? Carrying her around in tawaf, this whole 'Umrah — maybe the whole Hajj he has to carry on her back — have I repaid her?" He said: "Not even for a single push at the time of birth. Not even for a single one of them." So great are the rights of the parents in Islam.

She carried you and it was difficult. She gave birth to you and it was difficult. And it didn't just stop there:

"Her carrying of you and her suckling of you and her weaning you took thirty months." Two to three years of her life she dedicated to you. When you couldn't clean yourself, she cleaned you. When you couldn't feed yourself, she fed you. When you couldn't look after yourself, she looked after you. When you were sick in the night, she's the one that stayed awake with you.

Such are the rights of the parents. And that is why the scholars of Islam in their books of hadith and narration — such as al-Bukhari rahimahullah in his book al-Adab al-Mufrad — mention numerous hadith and numerous chapters that he dedicates to the rights of the parents.

To thank Allah but then to be ungrateful to those others who have done good to you is not from true gratitude, as the Prophet told us sallallahu alayhi wa sallam:

(Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith 4811; Jami' al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1954)

"The one who doesn't thank people hasn't truly thanked Allah."

So Allah enjoins upon us this important thing. That enjoining is extremely important, that reminder is extremely important — so long as those people are your parents, no matter what they do to you or how they may behave. Even if they tell you to do shirk, you don't obey them, as Allah mentioned in the other verse in Surah Luqman. It is said that Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas radiAllahu 'anhu, when he accepted Islam, his mother took an oath that she wouldn't eat, she wouldn't drink, she wouldn't comb her hair, she wouldn't do anything unless her son Sa'd left the religion of Islam.

Allah said that if your parents tell you to commit shirk — to disobey Allah — don't obey them:

"But be good to them in terms of your conduct and your character." They're telling you something which will lead you to the fire — don't obey them in that. But in terms of their rights and in terms of the way that you treat them and honor them, Allah maintains those rights for them.

The First Milestone: Reaching Adulthood (al-Ashudd)

So Allah tells us to reflect upon this situation. And then Allah mentions to us two milestones that are important in the life of every single person.

Number one:

"Until he reaches adulthood." Because when you become an adult and you become independent, and you're someone who now has the ability to understand those issues, it should make you reflect more — not only upon where you have come from, but it should also make you reflect more upon the good that people did to you, like your parents. You can now better understand, better appreciate, better acknowledge the sacrifices that they made for you. You may not agree with every decision of theirs, but you can at least understand and begin to appreciate maybe why they did what they did, how difficult their circumstances probably were. Now that you are an adult, you're independent, you have responsibilities of your own.

What is the age of adulthood? What is al-Ashudd? The scholars of the Salaf differed. Some of them said it was the age of puberty. Others said the age of 17. Others said the age of 18. Others even said in your 20s. Some of them even said your mid-30s. And al-Hasan al-Basri rahimahullah said anything below the age of 40. And that is why al-Imam al-Zuhri rahimahullah said: any age from the time that you attain puberty until the age of 40 you can reach adulthood, and it differs from person to person — when a person becomes mature and responsible, not everyone is the same. And that is why Ibn al-Qayyim rahimahullah liked this position of al-Imam al-Zuhri. Some people they're young and they mature quickly; other people they're in their 30s and they still act like children. People are different. But as you grow up and as you grow older, you should be able to understand some of the blessings of Allah upon you and appreciate them — you should be better reflecting and holding yourself to account.

The Second Milestone: Reaching the Age of Forty

And that is why Allah then gives us the second milestone:

"And then he reaches the age of 40." The age that the scholars of Islam used to call full maturity — the age of wisdom. The age that the prophets of Allah were often given revelation at, as was the case with our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

This is an age where, once you reach it, all that comes after is weakness — slowly but surely your body is going to become weaker, you're going to start to feel the pains of old age, your memory is not as sharp as it used to be. You're going to start to reflect and see things differently now, because you can see those people around you — like your parents, your uncles, your aunts — they're very old in age. And at that age, most likely insha'Allah, you have children of your own, so you can see them now growing up. You're at that middle place, that middle age, where you can see where people have come from and you can see where people are going. And so you're likely to be closer to your death — the time left for you is shorter upon this earth than the time that you've already spent, and Allah knows best.

So you reflect at that age of 40. The scholars of Islam — as some of the Salaf said, such as Masruq rahimahullah, the Imam of the Tabi'een from the students of Ibn Mas'ud and 'Aisha radiAllahu 'anhum — used to say: if you reach the age of 40, then you should be wary of Allah, meaning be mindful of Allah, prepare for that standing before Allah. Forty years of your life you've spent. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was sent with prophethood at that age — he was ready to assume the responsibility of the whole Ummah alayhi al-salatu wa al-salam. The age of 40 is an extremely important milestone.

So as you reflect and as you think — the believers are those who, when they ponder and they reflect, it takes them closer to Allah, makes them turn towards Allah. And this doesn't mean that you don't do this before the age of 40 or after the age of 40 — no, this should be the normal course of action. But the age of 40 is a major milestone.

The Three Supplications of the Believer

Allah mentions to us that as these believers reflect and hold themselves to account, they make a du'a with three supplications in it — three things they ask for: one concerning that which has already passed in their lives, the second concerning the present, and the third concerning the future and the dunya.

First: Gratitude for Past Blessings

Allah says that this person reaches the age of 40 and says:

"Oh my Lord, give me the ability to be grateful to You for the blessings that You bestowed upon me and upon my parents before me."

It is from the greatest blessings of Allah that Allah gives to you Iman. There is no greater blessing, no greater gift that you can receive, than the gift of Tawheed and لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ. But also from the gifts of Allah and the blessings of Allah is that He gave you parents that were righteous — you were born into Islam, you grew up as a Muslim, you knew nothing other than لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ. That is from the favors of Allah upon you, that you were born into the religion of لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ. And if your parents were upon the Sunnah — they were people who understood the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam — that is a further and second blessing that you should be grateful for. And if those parents were upon the religion and upon the Sunnah and they are people of righteousness and good character and ibadah, that is a greater blessing of Allah.

And that is what Allah mentions in the Quran when He speaks about the Prophet Sulayman alayhi al-salam — as he is coming across the colony of ants and he hears the words of the queen ant, he smiled and then he thanked Allah and he said:

"Oh Allah, this blessing that You gave me — the ability to understand the language and the speech of these insects — Oh Allah, allow me to be grateful for it, the blessings You bestowed upon me and upon my parents before me." Who is his parent? Who is his father? Dawud alayhi al-salam. This was the way of the prophets.

Yusuf alayhi al-salam enters into prison and he calls those people in prison to the Tawheed of Allah, and then he says to them — after he says "I am not upon your shirk":

"I have followed the religion of my forefathers — Ibrahim, Ishaq, and Yaqub." To acknowledge the favors of Allah. And that is because it is from the greatest blessings of Allah that when you do some good deeds, insha'Allah your parents are getting a share of that reward — and their parents before them, and their parents before them — and who knows how many generations before was the first of our ancestors to accept Islam. Perhaps all of them get a share of that reward. And Allah is ever forgiving, most merciful, most generous.

Second: Doing Righteous Deeds in the Present

The second thing that we make du'a for — after reflecting upon the favors of Allah and the journey that we've been on:

"And oh Allah, allow me to continue to do righteous deeds." Now that you've reflected, you acknowledge the blessings of Allah — what greater way of using those blessings, those many favors that Allah bestowed upon you from His bounty and His grace, except to do further acts of good deeds, to do that which is pleasing to Allah?

And that is what Imam al-Nawawi rahimahullah said — that it used to be said about the people of Madinah in the time of the Salaf: if they reached the age of 40 they would spend the vast majority of their time in ibadah, preparing for the akhirah. And he took that from the statement of Imam Malik rahimahullah, the Imam of Madinah. He said: "I found our teachers and our scholars that when they would reach the age of 40, they wouldn't busy themselves with sitting with people in the dunya, but they would busy themselves with Allah."

And that is what Imam al-Qurtubi rahimahullah said in the tafsir of this verse: anyone that reaches the age of 40, it is high time — high time — that they spend more time focusing upon the akhirah, reflecting upon their standing before Allah, planning for their abode of eternity that Allah will take us all to. So use that time — it is precious — especially once you've reached a milestone that is a major milestone in your life.

Third: Righteousness for Our Offspring

The third thing that we ask for in this du'a is that we look towards our future — our children, our offspring:

"And oh Allah, make my offspring righteous also." How beautiful is this religion, how amazing is this du'a — that you are told not only to reflect and thank Allah for your parents and what they did in terms of Iman and the blessings that they helped you gain, but then you look towards your future children as well. How amazing are the blessings and the rewards of Allah — if the people of Jannah are reunited with their parents and they are reunited with their children, because all of them were upon Iman.

And Allah will mention after two or three verses within this same passage in the Quran those people who have parents that are righteous but whose children refuse to believe — they are dishonorable to their parents, they disrespect them, they turn away from Allah. And their parents say:

"Woe to you! Believe! Indeed Allah's promise is true." But that person turns away.

If you have parents that were righteous — parents that were good, upon Iman — and now Allah has bestowed you with children upon Iman, children that pray, children that read the Quran, children that love Allah and His Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, that is from the greatest blessings of Allah. And sometimes in the dunya we focus on those things that are hard to reach, that are far from our grasp, the problems that surround all of us — and sometimes we neglect and forget that which is close to us, that which Allah honored and bestowed upon us, which is easy for us to hold, insha'Allah ta'ala.

The Conclusion of the Du'a: Tawbah and Islam

So Allah tells us that this is the way that the believer should be in terms of their reflection — asking Allah for these three things. And then this verse concludes with Allah saying:

"I repent to You and I am from the Muslims." As Ibn Kathir rahimahullah said, the age of 40 is an age after which tawbah — turning to Allah and seeking forgiveness — should be one of the most common acts of worship that you engage in.

Ask Allah that He gives us the ability to be grateful for our blessings, that Allah allows us to live and die upon righteousness, and that Allah blesses our offspring and makes them righteous also.

بَارَكَ اللَّهُ لِي وَلَكُمْ فِي الْقُرْآنِ وَالسُّنَّةِ وَنَفَعَنِي وَإِيَّاكُمْ بِمَا فِيهِمَا مِنَ الْآيَاتِ وَالْحِكْمَةِ أَقُولُ قَوْلِي هَذَا وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهَ لِي وَلَكُمْ وَلِجَمِيعِ الْمُسْلِمِينَ مِنْ كُلِّ ذَنْبٍ فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهُ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ

Second Khutbah

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ وَالْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ وَالصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَصَحْبِهِ وَمَنْ وَالَاهُ وَسَلَّمَ تَسْلِيمًا كَثِيرًا أَمَّا بَعْدُ

Allah loves the people of reflection, loves the people of contemplation, loves those people who take stock of their lives and take account of themselves — and then use that self-accounting as a springboard to come closer to Allah. So they do more good deeds, they turn to Allah more in tawbah, they turn to Allah more in shukr — in gratitude and thankfulness. And that's why Allah speaks about these people in the next verse and He says:

"These are the people that We will accept from them the best of that which they did" — not only any action, not only some of the actions or all of them, but Allah will reward them according to the best of the deeds that they performed. So Allah will honor them and bestow upon them His favors in the dunya and in the akhirah. "And We will forgive them for their sins, in the company of the People of Jannah — this is the promise of truth that they were given."

What greater reward, what greater blessing, what greater honor from Allah — for those people who thank Allah and turn to Him, for those people who thank Allah and then work upon their families and upon their children — that Allah by His mercy keeps them all steadfast upon His religion, gives them life upon Islam and death upon Islam?

We ask Allah that He makes us from amongst those people. We ask Allah that He makes us from the people of humility and humbleness, that we turn to Allah in du'a and in gratitude, in humbleness and humility. We ask Allah to forgive us our sins, to shower His mercy and forgiveness upon us and our parents, that Allah makes our families and our children righteous — and our offspring, not only our children but the generations that will come after us.