Three Qualities of Love from Imam Al Ghazali | Mufti Abdul Wahab Waheed

Three Qualities of Love from Imam Al-Ghazali

Imam Al-Ghazali, rahimahullah, he would say, there are three reasons why someone is beloved to us. Three reasons why we love someone. And when a person has these three qualities, there is a natural level of rationality behind your love for someone.

Because emotional love is there even for your children. You don't need a rational reason to love your children. You don't need a rational reason or intellectual reason to love your parents. Because these are relationships that are beyond the realm of rationality. Similarly, we don't necessarily need rationale on why we love the Prophet ﷺ. But through this perspective and this lens, what Imam Al-Ghazali, rahimahullah, is proving, is that even if we were to use the most rational reasons on why we love, there would be no one that we should love more than the Prophet ﷺ.

When the Prophet ﷺ said that no one is a believer until they love me more than they love themselves, this is not something which we are bound to because there is an emotional attachment and that is it. No, it's actually something that makes sense. And how does it make sense? He proves it through these three qualities.

The First Quality: Physical Beauty

These are three reasons why we love someone. Number one — physical attractiveness, physical qualities. For example, if I want to buy a house or a car, something as simple as that, if it looks bad from the outside, we're not going to say, oh, but the inside is very nice. Because the physical look of it does make a difference. And those that say, don't judge the book by its cover — it's true. But we cannot ignore the cover.

When someone says, deen is only internal, that's not true. The depth of deen is internal. If deen was only internal, we would not be told to pray salat in jama'ah. Pray everywhere, anywhere you are. Pray in your house, pray in your room. Why do we get more reward for praying in jama'ah? If deen was only internal, the most blessed days of our entire year would not be days where the entirety of the Muslims are celebrating.

The most blessed day of the Muslim calendar is the day of Arafah. And the reason for that is because everyone is showing their deen and everyone is representing their deen. And the most rewarding day during the week is the day of Jumu'ah. Because once again, we're showing and representing our deen. So that aspect that deen is only internal is not true. The depth of it is internal. Sincerity is internal. Taqwa is internal.

Salat has two components. One is called khushu', one is called hudur. Khushu' means — what depth and what level of concentration do I have in my salat? What am I thinking about when I say اللهُ أَكْبَر? No one can tell except for you, and Allah of course. But then you also have hudur, which has to do with all of our physical movements. Do I perform ruku' correctly? Do I do sajda correctly? If deen was all internal, then why do we have hudur for?

And Imam Suyuti, rahimahullah, says the best way to bring khushu' into our life is to have good hudur. Meaning if we want to increase our level of devotion inside of prayer, better our movements in prayer — make sure every movement is done correctly — and then our concentration will also increase. So there is a level of physical presence of Islam. So physical beauty is the first quality.

The Second Quality: Internal Beauty

The second reason is a person's internal beauty, their internal qualities. The car could be very nice from the outside, but if the engine is shot, no one will buy that car. The person could look very nice from the outside, but they're devilish from the inside. Meaning their external is beautiful, but internally they're filled with vices and evil feelings — hasad, arrogance. No one wants to be around that person.

The Prophet ﷺ said:

A generous person will always be close to people, and that person will also be close to Allah. Whereas a stingy person will be far from people, and they will be far from Allah.
(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1961)

Meaning, internal qualities do attract. A person that is kind to me, I will love them more. A person that shows me love, I will also love them. So internal qualities form the second reason.

The Third Quality: Sacrifice and Service

And number three is based upon how much that person does for us, and how much that person sacrifices for us, how much that person puts themselves on the line for us. If the person doesn't do that, and I still love them, that's not rational — that's emotional. That's called junoon, that's called craze. That I keep calling this person, they don't call me back. Well, that's because you're in a state of emotional craze. This is Layla and Majnun stuff. That's not true love. Because love at a rational level — no person would continue investing in a relationship when the other person has absolutely no feelings for you. That's called feeling craze.

The Prophet ﷺ Embodies All Three

These are three reasons why we love someone. If we were to take these three qualities and objectively look throughout our lives on who has them, there is no one that possesses them better than the Prophet ﷺ. No one that has a presence of all three of these than our Habib ﷺ.