The Muslim Household - Shaykh Muhammad Ali

Khutbah al-Jumu'ah — Opening

How Do We Know if Allah Has Given Us Tawfiq?

My brothers and sisters in Islam, at the beginning of our khutbah today we ask Allah to give us tawfiq — Allahumma ameen.

كَيْفَ نَكُونُ أَهْلًا لِتَوْفِيقِ اللَّهِ — How can we become among the people that Allah has blessed with the tawfiq of Allah? Success that came from Allah, the divine guidance and the light of Allah — how can we attain that? And also, how do we know whether Allah gave us tawfiq or not?

My brothers and sisters in Islam, in our khutbah today I'm going to mention a number of things that will tell us whether we have guidance, whether we have tawfiq, whether we have the success that we all are striving for, insha'Allah ta'ala. I'm going to mention a number of things, and you can take the list insha'Allah ta'ala — as I mention each and every one of them, if you have that, it means that you have been given the tawfiq of Allah.

1. Al-Tawfiq lil-'Amal al-Salih — Being Guided to Righteous Deeds

The first sign on the list is التَّوْفِيقُ لِلْعَمَلِ الصَّالِحِ. Has Allah guided you towards righteous deeds? Allah has said:

Anyone that obeys Allah and his messenger — that person has been given the greatest of success.

My brothers and sisters in Islam, listen to what the Prophet, peace be upon him, has said:

(Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 17486; also reported in Sunan al-Tirmidhi)

The Prophet, peace be upon him, has said: "If Allah wants khayr for someone, Allah يَسْتَعْمِلُهُ." The companions said, "What do you mean by the word يَسْتَعْمِلُهُ, O Prophet of Allah? How will Allah do that?" And then the Prophet, peace be upon him, said: يُوَفِّقُهُ لِعَمَلٍ صَالِحٍ قَبْلَ مَوْتِهِ — "Allah guides that person to do a righteous thing before he dies." Allah gives him a project, Allah gives him a purpose in life that will lead him — and he will keep doing that until death comes to him.

Also, the Prophet, peace be upon him, was asked أَيُّ النَّاسِ خَيْرٌ — "Who is the best among the people?" — and the Prophet, peace be upon him, has said:

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2329)

"The person that Allah gives a long life, and also Allah allows them to do righteous deeds." And also, when he was asked فَأَيُّ النَّاسِ شَرٌّ — "Who are the most wretched of people?" — the Prophet, peace be upon him, has said: مَنْ طَالَ عُمُرُهُ وَسَاءَ عَمَلُهُ — "The person who has been given a long life, but his deeds are always evil." May Allah not make us among those people — Allahumma ameen.

2. Al-Tawfiq li-Nashr al-Khayr wal-Da'wah — Spreading Good and Calling to Allah

My brothers and sisters in Islam, the next one on the list is التَّوْفِيقُ لِنَشْرِ الْخَيْرِ وَالدَّعْوَةِ. Has Allah given you the ability to spread the khayr of Allah and call the people to the way of Allah? Like Allah has said in the Quran:

"Who is better in his speech than the person who calls the people to the way of Allah, does righteous deeds, and says: 'I am from the Muslims'?" He doesn't say anything else — he says, "I am from the Muslims."

3. Al-Tawakkul 'ala Allah — Putting Your Trust in Allah

Another way of knowing whether Allah gave you tawfiq or not is التَّوَكُّلُ عَلَى اللَّهِ. How much do you trust Allah? And Allah told us in the Quran:

"Anyone who fears Allah, Allah will always give him a way out." وَمَن يَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ فَهُوَ حَسْبُهُ — "And anyone who puts his trust in Allah, Allah said: I am sufficient for him." Imagine — when Allah is on your side, Allah said: I'm on your side. اللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْنَا مِنَ الْمُتَوَكِّلِينَ.

4. Iradah al-Akhirah — Desiring the Hereafter

Another one on the list is إِرَادَةُ الْآخِرَةِ. When we do things, do we do it for Allah? Why do we do the righteous actions that we do? Do we think about the akhira, or do we think about this dunya? If you are someone who thinks about dunya, you have no tawfiq. If you don't think about akhira, you have no tawfiq. Look at what the Prophet, peace be upon him, has said:

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2465; classed as sahih)

If akhira is your concern — if you're thinking about the Day of Judgment — this is a great sign, because the Prophet, peace be upon him, has said: جَعَلَ اللَّهُ غِنَاهُ فِي قَلْبِهِ — Allah will place richness in your heart. And also, Allah will take care of your affairs and bring them together for you. And also: وَأَتَتْهُ الدُّنْيَا وَهِيَ رَاغِمَةٌ — wallahi, ya ikhwani, the words of the Prophet, peace be upon him, are so beautiful. The Prophet, peace be upon him, has said: dunya will come to you while it seeks you — dunya will be running after you.

But what about the person who thinks about this dunya? What is going to happen to him? The Prophet, peace be upon him, has said: جَعَلَ اللَّهُ فَقْرَهُ بَيْنَ عَيْنَيْهِ — that person is going to think about poverty all the time, because Allah is going to place poverty in front of his eyes. Even if he has got millions of pounds — look at rich people right now, Allah gave them millions of pounds, millions of dollars, still they are running after money. Why? Because they have faqr in front of their eyes, as the Prophet, peace be upon him, told us. And also: وَفَرَّقَ عَلَيْهِ شَمْلَهُ — Allah will never put your affairs together for you; you will always feel that there is something missing. And also: وَلَمْ يَأْتِهِ مِنَ الدُّنْيَا إِلَّا مَا قُدِّرَ لَهُ — you will not get anything from this dunya except what Allah has written for you.

However hard we work, ikhwani, my brothers and sisters in Islam — however hard we work, we will never get one penny above what was written for us. That is definite, that is a fact. However hard you run after dunya, Allah will only give you what He has written for you — not a penny extra and not a penny less.

5. Al-Tawbah min al-Ma'asi — Repenting Quickly from Sins

Also, brothers — another sign of knowing whether Allah has given you tawfiq or not is التَّوْبَةُ مِنَ الْمَعَاصِي. Look at yourself — when you commit a sin, do you quickly come back to Allah, or do you continue doing that sin? If you come back to Allah immediately, it means Allah gave you tawfiq.

6. Naf' al-Nas — Being Beneficial to Others

Another one: نَفْعُ النَّاسِ وَقَضَاءُ حَوَائِجِهِمْ. How much do you help other people? Do you think about other people's affairs? Do you take care of their affairs? Do you help people — your Muslim brothers, other human beings, whether they are Muslims or not? How helpful are you to other people, or are you just thinking about yourself? And the Prophet, peace be upon him, told us:

(Al-Mu'jam al-Awsat of al-Tabarani; classed as hasan by al-Albani in Silsilat al-Ahadith al-Sahihah, Hadith 906)

The people that Allah loves most are those who are most useful to the people. How useful are you to other people, or is all you think about yourself? Selfishness — subhanAllah.

7. Al-Suhbah al-Salihah — Righteous Companions

Also, my brothers — among the signs on the list is الصُّحْبَةُ الصَّالِحَةُ — good friends. Look at the people that you are friends with, the people that you are so close with — who are they? Why are you close to them? Why do you consider them your friends? Is it because of their tribe? Is it because of their wealth? Is it because of their belief? Why are these people your friends? If Allah has blessed you with great, righteous friends, that is also a sign of tawfiq. Like the Prophet, peace be upon him, told us:

(Sunan Abu Dawud, Hadith 4833; Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2378)

"The human being is upon the religion of his friend." Look at the people that you surround yourself with — very, very important.

8. 'Adam al-Tadakhkhul fima la Ya'ni — Not Interfering in What Does Not Concern You

Also, brothers and sisters in Islam, there is the point of عَدَمُ تَدَخُّلِ الْإِنْسَانِ فِيمَا لَا يَعْنِيهِ — are you always busy with the things that don't concern you? If you are like that, it means you have no tawfiq — you do not have that light of guidance from Allah. Look at ourselves: how busy are we with the things that really concern us, that we should be busy with? But generally we are busy with things that do not really concern us. And the Prophet, peace be upon him, told us:

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2317; Ibn Majah, Hadith 3976; classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi)

"That is the beauty of Islam — that you leave the things that don't concern you."

And I'm going to give you one example. The great companion Abu Dujana — he was very sick, and the companions visited him. When they visited him, they saw light coming from his face and they said to him: مَا شَاءَ اللَّهُ — your face يَتَلَأْلَأُ, your face يَتَهَلَّلُ — there is light and joyfulness coming from your face, and you are very sick! Why? And he said: "I hope that Allah is going to reward me greatly for two things."

Number one — what is number one? He said: كُنْتُ لَا أَتَكَلَّمُ فِيمَا لَا يَعْنِيهِ — "I was never someone that talked about the things that do not concern me." How much time do we spend talking about things that do not concern us? How much time do we spend in the café shops discussing matters that do not really concern us? When our houses are burning, when our families are having so much problems, when our community is failing — but all we talk about are things that don't really concern us.

And look at the second thing, which is very, very important. He said: وَكَانَ قَلْبِي لِلْمُسْلِمِينَ سَلِيمًا — "Another thing that I hope Allah is going to reward me greatly for is that my heart is always clean towards other people." How many of us have got a heart which is clean? How many of us can say, "My heart has got no bad feelings towards other people"? Abu Dujana said: "My heart is so good — I have nothing against anybody." He said: "I hope Allah is going to reward me for that."

And in the second part of our khutbah, I'm going to talk about the next point which is the focus of my khutbah today. I say this, and I ask Allah to forgive me and you — so ask Him to forgive you. He is the Most Forgiving and Merciful.

The Muslim Household — Husn al-'Ishrah: Treating Your Family Well

My brothers and sisters in Islam, especially to the brothers — alhamdulillah, the masjid is full of people. We have hundreds and thousands of people in this great masjid, and the majority of us — a lot of us — we are people of family. We have families, alhamdulillah. We marry people.

And look at one of the signs of tawfiq: حُسْنُ عِشْرَةِ الْإِنْسَانِ لِأَهْلِهِ — how do you deal with and treat your family? How do we deal with our wives and our children? This is the next point, and this is the point I'm going to focus on today.

How many fathers do we have here today? Brothers in Islam, pay attention to this point please. The Prophet, peace be upon him, look at what he said:

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 3895; Ibn Majah, Hadith 1977; classed as sahih)

"The best among you are those who are greatest to their families, and I am the greatest to my family — I am the kindest to my family."

But before I expand on that hadith, I want to mention what Allah has said in the Quran:

"Live with your wives and treat them well — be good to your wives." And look also what Allah has said when it comes to our wives:

Look at the word that Allah has used — لِبَاس — clothing. Have you ever seen someone who is evil to his clothing? Why are we evil to our wives sometimes — or many, many times, or the majority of the time? And look what Allah has said: وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ — "Treat them well, live with them with great manners, and treat them kindly and nicely."

And what is the purpose of marriage? Allah told us in Surah al-Rum:

The purpose of marriage is affection, kindness, being merciful to one another, and loving one another. That is the purpose of marriage. But is that how we deal with our wives? Is that how we treat them?

Look at the Prophet, peace be upon him — خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِهِ — "The best among you are those who are great to their families. And I am the greatest to my family, I am the kindest to my family."

Aisha, when she was asked how the Prophet was in his own house — imagine, this is the Prophet, the greatest man ever to walk on this earth. The Prophet, peace be upon him, when he went home — do you think he expected the wife to cook the food and do everything for him? Do you think the Prophet, peace be upon him, expected from the wife to do everything? The Prophet, peace be upon him — look at what she said: "When he came, he helped us — he did everything, he helped us with everything." The Prophet, peace be upon him, used to sort out his clothing, wash his own clothing; the Prophet, peace be upon him, used to sort out his shoes, his food — everything. The Prophet, peace be upon him, was always at hand to help.

But today we are the opposite — we want the wives to do everything, and if there's a little mistake, we know what's going to come up. And look — subhanAllah — this is the reality of the majority of us, including myself, my brothers and sisters.

We are so nice and kind, we are so friendly when we are with the public — when we are outside the house, we are the kindest of people, we are the friendliest of people. We even give maybe sometimes gifts to our friends and to our colleagues that we work with. When we go to the café shop, we are very friendly with everybody. But when we go back home — how do we treat our wives and our families? We come home angry. Why? I don't know. We come into the house just looking for faults in order to say something bad to our wives — subhanAllah.

And look at this, ikhwani — this is the reality. And the Prophet, peace be upon him, is saying: "Be so good and gentle to your wives and to your families."

When Does the Family Celebrate?

Ikhwani, I want to say this — there is always a celebration happening at home. The family is always celebrating. But the question we need to ask ourselves is: when does this celebration take place? Does it take place when you come in as a father? Or does it take place when you leave the house?

When does the family celebrate? Do the wife and the kids celebrate when you come in — at your arrival? Or do they celebrate when you leave the house? Ask yourself that question. Go back to the house today and say to your wife: "When do you celebrate?" Say to your kids: "When do you celebrate — at my arrival or at my departure?"

This is the reality, ikhwani. Why am I speaking the way I'm speaking? Because I'm an imam, and people are coming to me — the sisters are calling, coming, always complaining, saying there is so much happening in the house. And brothers, they have got magnifying glasses — if there is any mistake, things will go out of hand. Ikhwani, that has to stop.

And today, what we need to take with us from this khutbah is the following: I want everybody here — you know yourself more than anybody else. You know how you treat your wife, you know how you treat your children. You need to take from this khutbah today and leave the khutbah as a changed man. I want you to say: "I am a new person after this khutbah." I want you to make tawbah to Allah and treat your wife so well, because Allah said: treat them well.

Also, my brothers — everyone, when you go home today, I want you to go home with tawbah and say: "O Allah, from today I am going to treat my wife and children as best as I can." We all know, unfortunately, what happens sometimes. A sister might say to you: "My husband has not been speaking to me for the last two, three months. My husband has not been sleeping with me for the past one year." What is going on?

Today, insha'Allah ta'ala, ikhwani — I want you to go back home with a gift. Everybody who is here today — go back home and make the home different, insha'Allah. Go back home and make the family and the children celebrate when they see you — not when you turn up to go or when you leave the house.

Everybody who is sitting here today — you know what you are going through right now, you know how your wife is feeling right now. I want you to take a gift back home today and say to your wife: "I love you more than my eyes — you are very special." You see how much change will happen in the house? That is what I want to see today, insha'Allah ta'ala.

I want you to make Shaytan upset today. Iblis is so happy when he sees the family separating, when the family is not talking — Iblis is happy, he is celebrating that night. We want to make Iblis upset tonight in Birmingham! How are we going to do that? By going back to our houses and making our wives happy — talking to them kindly and nicely.

Brothers — wallahi — you are not going to lose anything. Look at the Prophet, peace be upon him — even if your wife says something bad to you, just be patient, be kind, be quiet. SubhanAllah. Insha'Allah ta'ala, that is what we should be aiming for today.

Please go home today, make up with your wife, and say: "I am going to be a new man after today. I am going to be a new father. I am going to be totally different. I am going to spend time with you, I am going to spend money on you, I am going to be nice and kind to you, I am going to be smiling at your face when I come."

I want the brothers to be gentle in their houses and to be strong outside — and not to be gentle outside and fierce in their own houses. Don't act like a lion in the house and act like a chicken outside. Be the opposite — be gentle in the house, but outside be strong.

Allah orders justice and kindness and giving to close ones, and forbids immorality, evil, and transgression — He warns you so that you may remember. And perform the prayer.