Parents are a Gift from Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى - Shaykh Shouaib Ahmed

Khutbah Opening

And Allah has paired the command of worshipping Him with the command of being excellent to parents. Allah says:

The Best of Deeds

And the hadith of Abdullah ibn Mas'ud, may Allah be pleased with him:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 527; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 85)

Parents Are the Best Gift from Allah

My brothers and sisters, parents — mother and father — they are the best gift from Allah. Mother and father. My brothers and sisters, Allah says in the Quran: "And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be dutiful to your parents. Whether one or both of them reach old age while with you, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor repel them, but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of submission and humility out of mercy and say: My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was small."

My brothers and sisters, we must and we should look after our parents. We should try to obey them — not once a year, but every day. Indeed, we have adopted some bad habits from bad friends or a bad society. We do not respect our parents. We do not love them. We do not speak to them. We shout at them. We ignore them. And we do not treat them as best friends and the best gift of Allah.

My brothers and sisters, it is wajib upon every single Muslim to look after his parents and to be nice and kind to them.

Why This Khutbah Today — Three Real-Life Examples

My brothers and sisters, today's khutbah is on the importance of parents. I have about 8 points, but before that — why did I choose today's khutbah? For 3 reasons. Three reasons, brothers and sisters. Listen carefully. And all three of those brothers and sisters are here in the United Kingdom.

The First Example — A Son Who Gave Everything

One of the brothers — who was a businessman, and this is what I have seen with my own eyes — he used to own a shop and he locked it, he closed it, and he said: "I'm going to serve my mother and father." I didn't believe him at that time. Wallahi, I didn't believe him. I said he was just joking. And he did it. He converted the shop into a sitting room, a room for his father, and a bathroom.

My brothers and sisters, this is what I have seen with my own eyes. And his father was about 100, or 100 plus. And once, my brothers and sisters, he was feeding his father — and I am not talking about the time of the Sahabah; no, this is here in the United Kingdom — he was feeding his father and his father smashed him on his face. And he said to his father in our own mother tongue language: "Oh my father, why are you upset with me?" He did not shout at him. This is what I have seen with my own eyes.

At that point, my brothers, I made a promise that I would inshallah be speaking to my brothers and sisters — I am not talking about the time of the Sahabah; this is here and now. And I felt jealousy at that time. And I thought and I prayed to Allah: "I wish I had a son like this brother" — the one who was doing such excellent duty to his father.

The Second Example — A Son Who Neglected His Mother

And there are two others — a brother and a sister. They were not exactly as this first brother. One brother is the only son in the family. His mother was living with him. And look what he did to his mother. She was living with him for a couple of months — or a couple of years, perhaps — and after that he was shouting at her, swearing at her, and threw her out of his house into a care home. He hardly goes to visit her even now today.

The Third Example — A Daughter Who Now Weeps for Forgiveness

And the third — a sister who used to look after her mother. She is here, but I am talking about what happened back home. She was nasty with her mother. She used to hit her. She used to swear at her. And now Allah has given her everything — she has carers coming four times a day, and the whole family is looking after her. And I bear witness before Allah that every single night and every single day she says: "Oh my mother, forgive me. Oh my mother, forgive me." And when a visitor comes, she says: "Can you ask my mother to forgive me? When you visit my mother, ask her to forgive me."

The Importance of Parents in the Quran and Sunnah

My brothers, what is the importance of mother and father? Why are they so important? Read the Book of Allah and read the Sunnah of Rasulullah ﷺ.

Allah says:

Worship Allah and do not associate partners with Allah — وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا — be nice and kind to your parents. And Allah says:

SubhanAllah — be nice and kind to your parents. Again: worship Allah, and وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا — be nice and kind to your parents. And more than that:

Ahadith on the Status of Parents

Hadith 1 — Jihad and Your Parents

Rasulullah ﷺ says: birr al-walidayn — being nice and kind and obeying your mother and father. Another companion of Rasulullah ﷺ reports another hadith. Abdullah ibn 'Amr, may Allah be pleased with him, reports:

Another man came to Rasulullah ﷺ asking permission to fight in the way of Allah. What did Rasulullah ﷺ say to him? "Are your parents living?" He said: "Yes." He said: "Then go and do jihad with your mother and father — go and help them."

Hadith 2 — Making Parents Smile

Another hadith, reported by Abu Dawud, al-Nasa'i, and Ibn Majah — a man came to Rasulullah ﷺ to give his pledge that he would leave Makkah al-Mukarramah and travel to Madinah al-Munawwarah. But he said to Rasulullah ﷺ: "O Messenger of Allah, I came to you, but my parents were in tears." The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: "Go back and make them happy. Put a smile on their faces as you have made them cry."

Hadith 3 — Looking After Parents for Allah's Pleasure

Another hadith, reported by Imam Muslim rahimahullah — another companion of Rasulullah ﷺ asked him that he wanted to do hijrah and fight in the way of Allah and said: "I want a great reward from Allah." Again Rasulullah ﷺ said: "Are your parents living?" He said: "Yes." Rasulullah ﷺ said: "Go and look after them. If you want Allah to be happy with you, be nice and kind to them."

Hadith 4 — The Mother's Three-Fold Right

My brothers and sisters, this hadith — you must have heard it — reported by Imam Bukhari and Muslim. Abu Huraira, may Allah be pleased with him, says:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 5971; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2548)

A man came to Rasulullah ﷺ and said: "O Messenger of Allah, who shall I be nice and kind to, or look after, the most?" The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: "Your mother." He said: "Who else?" He said: "Your mother." He said: "Who else?" He said: "Your mother." And the fourth time, Rasulullah ﷺ said: "Your father."

My brothers and sisters, why? Why is the mother mentioned three times and the father once? Because the mother spends more time with you. She keeps you in her womb for nine months. She sleeps on your urine and she cries for you every day and night. She is the one who feeds you. She is the one who raises you up. She is the one who always prays for you.

And indeed, unfortunately, yes — some of our brothers are very nice to their mother, but some of our brothers are not good to their father. They don't talk to their father. They don't listen to their father. They don't honor their father. And they say: "My mother is enough for me." No, my brothers — both of them, both of them, your mother and your father are important for you. And if you want to enter into paradise, then you must obey both of them.

The Rewards of Being Good to Your Parents

Your Father — the Middle Gate to Paradise

What is the great reward if you look after your parents? If you are nice to your mother and father, then what reward are you going to get? My brothers — number one, Allah has advised all mankind to be nice and kind to your parents.

And a man came to Rasulullah ﷺ asking: "O Messenger of Allah, I want to fight in the way of Allah." And Rasulullah ﷺ said: "Are your parents alive?" He said yes. And Rasulullah ﷺ said to him: go and look after your mother and father. And then Rasulullah ﷺ said — regarding the father:

"Your father is the middle gate for you to enter into paradise. And it is your choice — if you want to destroy that, then it is up to you. But if you want to save it, then save it and you will enter, inshallah, into paradise." This is a hadith reported by Imam Tirmidhi.

Abdullah ibn Umar's Advice

A man came to Abdullah ibn 'Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, and said: "I'm asking Allah for forgiveness. I made some mistakes and I'm asking Allah. I'm running away from sins, I'm running away from the hellfire, and I want to enter into paradise." And Abdullah ibn 'Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, said: "Is your mother living?" He said: "Yes, my mother and me." He said: "If you want to enter paradise, look after her. Obey her. Be nice and kind to her."

Allah's Pleasure and Parents' Pleasure

My brothers, there are many, many ahadith. Rasulullah ﷺ says: if you want Allah to be happy with you, then make sure your parents are happy with you. And if your parents are not happy with you, then Allah Almighty is not happy with you.

In another hadith, Rasulullah ﷺ says: your parents could be for you the means to enter paradise, and could also be the reason for you to go into the hellfire. If you are not looking after them, if you are not obeying them, if you are not giving them their rights — then yes, Allah will throw that person into the hellfire. But if you are nice and kind to them, then Allah's blessing will be with you and inshallah you will enter into paradise.

The Reward of Looking at Parents with Happiness

A great companion of Rasulullah ﷺ asked him: "O Messenger of Allah, if I always be nice and kind to my mother and father, and smile towards them, and keep them happy — what reward will I get?" Rasulullah ﷺ said: "With every single glance — whenever you look at your mother and father with happiness — you will get reward equal to Hajj." He said: "What if I look towards them more than a hundred times in happiness?" Rasulullah ﷺ said: "Allah is great, and you will get reward by the will of Allah."

My brothers, subhanAllah — mother and father are the best gift from Allah. Allah does not reject the du'a. This is what Rasulullah ﷺ said. So be nice and kind to them and ask them to pray for you, because Allah does not reject the du'a. And normally, they are always praying for their children — whether you are happy with them or not, your mother and your father will still pray for you. Your mother and your father will be waiting for you until you come back home.

Disobeying Parents — A Major Sin

My brothers and sisters, if you disobey your mother, if you disobey your father — this is a major sin. This is a major sin, like shirk — worshipping other than Allah. Similar in gravity is disobeying your parents.

Indeed, you do not need to listen to your mother if she tells you not to pray, or if she tells you not to fast in the month of Ramadan — do not listen to her in that. But other than that — listen to her, sit with her, talk to her.

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ says in a sahih hadith according to Imam Bukhari and Muslim: Allah has forbidden you to disobey your mothers.

And another companion of Rasulullah ﷺ reports — again in Bukhari and Muslim — he said: "The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said three times: 'Do you want me to tell you the major sins?'" The companions said: "O Messenger of Allah, tell us." And then the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

"Worshipping other than Allah — associating partners with Allah — and disobeying your mother and father."

Cursing One's Own Parents

Another hadith of Rasulullah ﷺ — and this is something we have seen among our Muslim brothers and sisters. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ says: "From the major sins is a person who curses his mother and father." They said: "O Messenger of Allah, how can that be? How can a person curse his own mother and father?" The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: "If two people are arguing, and one is swearing at the other's mother and father, then in return the other will swear at his mother and father."

My brothers and sisters, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ says — in a hadith reported by Imam Ahmad — three people will not enter into paradise, and one of them is a person who is disobeying his mother and father.

What If My Parents Are Non-Muslim?

Now a question may arise here: if my parents are non-Muslim, what should I do? Do I have to listen to them? Do I have to talk to them? Why not? Because Allah has given the advice in the Quran to all mankind to be nice and kind — and it is also reported by Asma' bint Abi Bakr, may Allah be pleased with her. She said: "My mother came to me and she was in need. So I went to the Prophet ﷺ to ask him for a fatwa." She said: "O Messenger of Allah, what should I do?" Muhammad ﷺ said: "Yes, go and help your mother."

Examples from the Companions

The Story of Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas

My brothers and sisters, read the Book of Allah and especially the story of Ibrahim, peace be upon him — his father wanted to kill him, and yet how he always spoke gently to his father. And there are many examples from the companions of Rasulullah ﷺ of how they were with their parents. One of them is Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas, may Allah be pleased with him.

Read the story of Sa'd and how he became a Muslim. Indeed, it was through Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him. His mother — she was a very strong lady, a very strong personality. When she saw her son going up and down doing ruku' and sujood in the house, she said: "Son, what are you doing? Why are you going up and down?" He said: "Oh mother, I have become a Muslim. I said لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ مُحَمَّدٌ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ." She said: "No, come back to your mother and your father and your grandfather's religion. Leave this." He said: "Mother, I will never do that."

Indeed, my brothers and sisters, she did not eat food for several days. She did not even drink. And there was a rumor going on in Makkah that Sa'd had almost killed his mother — that he was not listening to her. But he used to visit her every single day, every single time, even though she would not look at him. And he said to her as she lay on what seemed like a dying bed: "Mother, I am not going to change. If Allah gave you seven lives, I would keep doing this." And subhanAllah — after that, she became a Muslim.

Abu Huraira and His Mother

Read the story of 'Uthman ibn 'Affan, may Allah be pleased with him, and of Harith ibn 'Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, and how they were with their parents. And my brothers — especially the Ahlul Hadith brothers — Abu Huraira, the one who narrated the most ahadith from Rasulullah ﷺ. Look how he was with his mother. How he used to look after her when she was not yet a Muslim. He was obeying her and trying to help her, and he was always giving her dawah: "Oh mother, become a Muslim. Oh mother, become a Muslim." But she did not become a Muslim until he went to Rasulullah ﷺ and said: "O Messenger of Allah, make du'a for my mother so she becomes a Muslim."

Indeed, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ made du'a, and he came home to check — and subhanAllah, she was taking a shower. He waited, and he knew that something had happened. And she came out and said the shahada — and he was in tears, in happiness. Read this story.

Abdullah ibn Mas'ud and the Glass of Water

Read the story of Abdullah ibn Mas'ud, may Allah be pleased with him — when his mother asked for water at night and he brought the water, and she went to sleep. What happened? He did not sleep all night. He stood there holding the glass, waiting for her. SubhanAllah.

The Three Men in the Cave

There are many, many other sayings and examples from the companions of Rasulullah ﷺ. But you have the great example of those three people who were stuck in the cave. One of them used to always give top priority to his mother and father — not like us. We give top priority to our children. We give top priority to our wife. We give top priority to our friends over our mother and father. No, my brothers — we should give top priority to our mother and father, like the great people, like that man who always used to give food to his mother and father before anyone else. And subhanAllah, Allah saved them.

Honoring the Elderly — The Example of the Prophet ﷺ

Brothers and sisters, another example — Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. Whenever he used to remember his mother and father, he would cry. He would give respect and honor to the elders. When Makkah was conquered and Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him, brought his father — who was not yet a Muslim at that time, an old man with a white beard holding a stick — from his house to Rasulullah ﷺ, what were the words of Rasulullah ﷺ?

"Abu Bakr, why did you bring him? You should have kept him in your house. I would have gone to visit him."

And look at the tarbiyah of the Sahabah — and especially Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him. Abu Bakr said: "No, O Messenger of Allah. No — you do not deserve that. People should come to you, even if it is my own father."

Can We Still Be Good to Our Parents After Their Death?

My brothers and sisters, if our parents — or one of them — have passed away, can we still be nice and kind to them? Read the hadith of Rasulullah ﷺ where the Messenger of Allah ﷺ says that a person's rank will be raised in Jannah and he will say: "Where is this coming from? I am not doing any good deeds." And it will be said to him: "It is because your children are praying for you. Because your children are donating in the way of Allah."

And another hadith, brothers and sisters — someone asked: "Is there anything good that I can do for my parents after their death?" The Messenger of Allah ﷺ says: "Yes, you can do good for your parents and they are:

• Pray for them.
• Ask Allah for their forgiveness.
• If they made any promise during their life, try to fulfill it after their death.
• Be nice and kind to their relatives.
• Be nice and kind to their friends."

Words of the Scholars

My brothers and sisters, look at what Abdullah ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him, said. He said: "I cannot find anything which brings us closer to Allah more than being nice and kind to our parents."

And look at what the Imam of Ahlus-Sunnah, Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal, rahimahullah, said. He said: "Those lucky brothers and sisters — if your mother and father are living, be nice and kind to them. Love them for the sake of Allah. Be nice and kind to them, and Allah will forgive your sins." SubhanAllah — this will be one of the reasons Allah will forgive your sins. Why not? This is what Rasulullah ﷺ promised us.

Closing Advice

So therefore, my brothers and sisters — be nice and kind to your mother and father. Look after them. Obey them. Try to help them. They are the best gift from Allah. They are your best friends. Your best friends are your parents. So give them the honor and respect, inshallah. And Allah will forgive you in this dunya, and inshallah Allah will give you a place in paradise.

Du'a

Ibadallah, rahimakumullah:

Establish the prayer.