Dealing with Stress & Worry - Shaykh Wasim Kempson

Khutbah al-Ula — First Sermon

All praise is due to Allah. We praise Him, we seek His help, we seek His forgiveness, and we seek His guidance. And we seek refuge in Allah from the evil of our souls and from the evil of our deeds.

Whomsoever Allah guides, none can misguide him, and whosoever He misguides, none can guide him. And I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, alone, with no partner. And I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and His Messenger.

May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him and upon his pious and pure family, and upon those who follow their path until the Day of Judgment.

O you who have believed, fear Allah as He should be feared, and do not die except as Muslims.

O you who have believed, fear Allah and say the right words. He will correct your deeds and forgive you your sins. And whosoever obeys Allah and His Messenger has certainly attained a great triumph.

Indeed, the truth of the hadith is the Book of Allah, and the best guidance is the guidance of Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. And the worst of things are its innovations, and every innovation is a creation, and every such creation is a misguidance, and every misguidance is in the Fire.

Indeed, all praise and thanks belongs to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds. I bear witness that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, alone. And I bear witness that Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, is His final Messenger.

Man Was Created in Distress

My dear brothers and sisters, I wanted to talk about something which maybe many of us, we don't talk about. It is not something that easily comes to us, that we even want to talk about, to discuss with others — that we keep it inside. So much so, we may have many members of our own community going through very, very difficult times. But we are completely unaware of that.

So let me start by saying what Allah has told us regarding this topic that I want to discuss in brief.

That indeed, We have created man in distress, in toil, in difficulty.

There are many verses in which Allah tells us that He will test us — that at times He will push you to the very limit. So you can be awakened. Because at times we need to be awakened, we need to be reminded. And there are many verses about the expectation that you and I will be tested — with hunger, the loss of life, the loss of food.

However, with all of that:

Give glad tidings to those who are patient.

The Reality of Grief and Sorrow

Who from us — whatever age that we are — is free from, or who hasn't felt some sadness in your life, some grief or some sorrow about an affliction that has come to your doorstep, to your beloved ones? The loss of a family member — a father, a mother, even a child.

Other times when you feel sad, there is sorrow within you about the state of the ummah, the affliction and the calamity that has befallen some of the Muslims. Where you see massacres — children, women, old men, old women — whether that be in Gaza or Kashmir, Burma, Yemen. Throughout the years, Bosnia — more than thirty years ago.

There are times when, as Muslims, something happens at one particular time and this is a test for you. You're afflicted by it. There may be many of us — some of us sitting here now — who are going through an experience which is impossible to describe. You don't have the words to talk about the feelings that you have. The emotions, the trauma that maybe you're going through or that you're dealing with.

Alhamdulillah, we came to the masjid, we prayed Salatul Jumu'ah. But then after this, there may be some of us who go back to our homes and are living a very, very difficult life.

What did Allah give to us to deal with such situations? What guidance is there to teach us how to maneuver through very, very difficult situations? This is the reality of this dunya. It is Darul Ibtila — an existence of tests, of trials, of tribulations. The Darul Jaza' — the time of being rewarded — is in the Hereafter. But the nature of this dunya is that you and I will always be tested. Tested with your children, tested with your health and your wealth and your beloved ones. Test after test.

Some of those tests are easy for you to deal with, by the strength that Allah has given to you. But then there may be other times that the test is very, very, very tough. Something that the feeling that comes to you at that very moment — no human, no doctor, no rich person, nothing in this dunya can help you. Nothing can help you.

That realization hits you like a train. You feel numb. You don't even know how to feel. You don't know what words should come out of your mouth — when you hear that you have an illness and you're sitting there in front of the doctor, or you hear the news about a beloved one thousands of miles away, or just around the corner something has happened to them. It's almost as though you're in denial.

This is a test that Allah is testing you with. And ultimately we will be tested time after time after time. But how do you respond to that test? How do you react to that calamity, that trial, that tribulation? What did you say? What did you do?

The Prophet's Response to Loss

When our beloved Prophet ﷺ heard the news — he had a very small son, Ibrahim. And he wasn't present when he passed away. He heard the news about his child — eighteen to twenty months old — that your son is in a very difficult situation. The Prophet, peace be upon him, went there immediately and held his lifeless son.

Can you imagine what that is? Only those who have experienced that may have the words to portray what that feeling is like. But he, peace and blessings be upon him, explained and told us that he was sad, of course. However, we do not say except that which is pleasing to Allah.

When he, peace and blessings be upon him, passed by a woman who was crying at a grave, he told her to try and remain patient. Her response was that he didn't know — she didn't realize it was the Messenger, peace be upon him. How would he know what she was feeling at that time? Later on she found that that was the Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him, advising her to be patient at the moment that calamity struck her. To remain patient.

But patience is to be displayed when the calamity befalls you:

Those who, when a calamity befalls them, say: "Indeed, to Allah we belong, and indeed to Him we shall return." Not everybody will be able to say that. Not everyone will be able to remember what to say. But this is the guidance that was given to us by Allah. And likewise there are many examples from the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, on how to deal with these calamities and trials that inevitably will come to you and to me. To come to everybody. Nobody is saved from that.

The Prophets Were the Most Severely Tested

The best of people — the most severely tested people — are who? The Prophets. Then those who come after them, and then those who come after them.

If you look at the Prophet Ibrahim, peace be upon him — he was tested by Allah to sacrifice his own son. He was tested with the disbelief of his own father. Ya'qub, peace be upon him, upon the understanding that he had lost his son. Lut, peace be upon him — his family. Nuh, peace be upon him — making du'a to Allah regarding his son: "My son, my son." And Allah telling Nuh, peace be upon him: he is not from your family anymore, he has gone his own way, he was destroyed.

The best of men, the best of Prophets and Messengers, peace be upon them all, went through tests from the most beloved people to them — the closest people to them.

Our beloved Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him — his children: three of his own daughters that he buried. All of his sons passed away in his lifetime. Three of his wives passed away in his lifetime. He was born an orphan. His mother died when he was six. His grandfather when he was eight. Abu Talib, who brought him up, died upon disbelief. Test after test after test. No one more severely tested than the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him.

The Correct Understanding of Tests

So what does this tell you? That when you are tested, have the correct understanding. This test may be a sign that Allah loves you — that He is testing you. SubhanAllah. Allah is testing me because He loves me.

You should remember that Allah is more merciful to you than your own self is to your own self. You will do everything possible not to bring any harm to yourself. Allah is more merciful to you than you could ever be to your own self. You may not see it or understand what is happening now. But Allah has a plan for you. He wants the best for you. And your reaction and your response to that is what, insha'Allah, will enable you to be in a place one day where you will look back on that and appreciate — yes, appreciate — the test that came to you.

We ask Allah to make us from the patient. We ask Allah to help those who are suffering from such humoom and sadness and distress, and allow them to turn back to Allah in a happier way.

Khutbah al-Thaniyah — Second Sermon

All praise belongs to Allah. May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon His final Messenger, Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him.

I have mentioned things today which I hope have allowed us to understand what maybe some of us are going through or may face at one particular time in our lives. But we need to prepare for those moments — prepare as best we can to know what to say and to know how to behave.

Preparing for the Test

These tests that come to you and I — in that moment, a loss of a beloved one for example — that is a test that comes in a moment and remains with you for a time. But what you say and how you behave is the process that you will have in getting through that. No one is saying you have to get over it, forget it — no. Because it will remain with you. But you are able to deal with it in a better way. That is the objective.

However, reality is, for some, that that test — that strong emotion — remains with them and they don't know how to get over it. They don't know how to maneuver through that. And then it becomes deeper within them. And this, as Muslims, we must not deny. We must not turn away from it, saying: "We are Muslims, a Muslim can't be depressed" — denying people's realities. Absolutely, a Muslim may fall into such a state. And if a Muslim falls into that state, that is where we need to come together to help them and support them. Not just to deny it and to give them something like a small remedy and say, "Come back in a week's time and tell me how you feel." This is not how to deal with such problems.

Recognising the Symptoms

Perhaps the person is constantly feeling down, sad, anxious — always having a bad mood, inability to show their feelings, finding difficulty sleeping, eating problems, physical pain, constant feeling of tiredness. All of these are symptoms of depression and sadness, and they don't know how to get out of it. They see themselves in a hole. They can't get out. What to do?

Now this khutbah is not here as the ilaj — the cure — of course not. But it is a reminder of some of the things that as a community we are facing and going through. And that we have guidance from Allah, from the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and from Muslims who have very deep knowledge in how to deal with such situations. And not just going to pills and medicines, hormonal treatment — although that may have its place, no doubt — but the Islamic perspective on it is key.

The Prophet's du'a Against Anxiety and Grief

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, had the responsibility of the ummah on his shoulders. And he walks into the masjid and finds a companion sitting there, all alone. This companion, who no doubt had responsibilities, finds himself in the masjid — the most beloved place to Allah — at a time outside of salah.

So the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, comes to this companion and asks him: "Why do I find you here in such a state?" The Prophet was acutely aware that this companion was going through some distress. And this companion said:

"Ya Rasulullah — O Messenger of Allah — the reason I'm here: I'm compelled by anxiety and worry, and these debts are overburdening me."

So the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, realizing that he was in a situation of great stress and anxiety, said: "Shall I teach you some words?" Not: "You've got debts — let's go find a rich person to pay off your debts. Let's find some business opportunity." No. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, taught him some words. If you say these words in the morning and the evening, Allah will facilitate your needs completely.

(Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith 1555; also recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 2893)

O Allah, I seek refuge in You from anxiety and grief — from what has happened in the past, and from anxious worries about the future. I seek refuge in You from inability and laziness. I seek refuge in You from cowardice and stinginess. And I seek refuge in You from being overcome by debt and being overpowered by men.

Abu Umamah, may Allah be pleased with him — who was this companion — said: "I did not begin these adhkar in the morning and in the evening except that Allah enabled me to overcome all of these worries and anxiety that I had."

These words — asking Allah, وَهُوَ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدِيرٌ, the One in Whose hand is the dominion and Who has control over everything — changed his affairs.

Whatever hole you find yourself in, whatever difficulties you find yourself in, you should remember:

Is Allah not sufficient for His servant? It is not a question that needs answering. Allah is sufficient for us all. Even though you think you cannot get out of the hole you are in — turn to the One Who can make everything right, just the way that you would wish it would be. Turn to the One Who has control over all affairs in the universe.

Do not listen and pay attention to the Shaytan — the one who wants to make you sad, who wants to harm you. And this is something that as a community we need to be aware of with one another. There may be from among us those who are going through very difficult times.

This khutbah is just a reminder to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, there is a way out — and that is with the help of Allah and the steps that will help you achieve that, bi-ithni Allahi Ta'ala.

Closing Du'as

We ask Allah to remove all bala' and humoom from the Muslims. We ask Allah to grant us true patience. We ask Allah to allow us to understand and accept His qadr.

Our Lord, give us good in this world and good in the Hereafter, and protect us from the punishment of the Fire.

وَأَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ — And establish the prayer.