Being Dutiful to Parents - Shaykh Wasim Kempson

Khutbah Opening

Praise be to Allah, we praise Him, we ask for His help, we ask for His forgiveness, and we ask for His guidance. And we seek refuge in Allah from the evils of our souls and from the evils of our deeds. Whom Allah guides, there is no misguider for him, and whom He misguides, there is no guide for him.

And I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, alone, there is no partner for Him. And I bear witness that our Master and Prophet Muhammad is the servant of Allah and His Messenger. May Allah's peace, mercy, and blessings be upon him and upon his good, pure family and those who follow their path until the Day of Recompense.

O you who have believed, fear Allah as He should be feared, and do not die except as Muslims.

O you who have believed, fear Allah and say the right words. He will correct your deeds and forgive you your sins. And whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger has certainly attained a great victory.

As for what follows, the truth of the hadith is the Book of Allah, and the best guidance is the guidance of Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. And the worst of things are its innovations, and every innovation is an innovation, and every innovation is a misguidance, and every misguidance is in the Fire.

Indeed, all praise belongs and is due to Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala. I bear witness that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala. And I bear witness that Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, is His final Messenger.

The Debt That Can Never Be Repaid

In each of our lives, as we get older and our responsibilities accumulate, different types of debt come upon us. Utility bills, water bills, electricity, gas, house bills — all these types of bills, debts that come to you. And the requirement is what? Is that you pay those debts. And Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, facilitates, provides for you that you're able to pay off those debts. Alhamdulillah. Somebody does a good turn for you, and so then you want to respond in kind, so that you buy a gift for them. So you repay them, and you have the ability to repay them. These are things which you and I were able to achieve by Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala's grace.

However, how often do we think about a debt — if you want to call it that — or something that we owe that can never be paid back? Something that is due upon your shoulders from the time that you come into this world. And that the time will come when you realize that you have to give something back. Furthermore, you realize that whatever you do, you can never fulfill it. Whatever you do, you can never give full justice to that which is owed.

First and foremost, to Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala. Whatever you do, you can never give back to Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, what He is due, what He is owed, what He has given you. But also — and this is the topic that I want to talk about — a set of individuals whom we know so well, and that we love so much, that whatever I do, I can never give them back what they did for me.

Every single one of us, without exception — the youth from amongst us, the respected elders from amongst us — every single one of us has this debt over our own selves, which we can never give back, in a way that we would like to give it back. And who are these people, who are these individuals that I can never fulfill? Sure, you know who I'm talking about. That's our own mothers and our own fathers.

The Place of Parents in Islam

It may be the youth amongst us who really may not understand the magnanimity or the greatness of what I'm talking about — how important it is in Islam. That the way to reach Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, it has been made clear, and it is one way to Allah, and following the way of the Prophet — no disagreement upon that. But the way to achieve salvation, to be a successful one, it may be different between ourselves.

There are many doors of Al-Jannah. There is the door of fasting, the door of Salah. There is the door of Jihad. There are many doors which a person may enter from. A person who fasted extensively — this is your door, Al-Rayyan, to enter into Jannah through this gate. Another person, through another door. But one of those doors, one of those opportunities, is to be dutiful to your parents.

Maybe the one thing that you have in your control — maybe you're not rich, you can't give lots of charity, you can't make Umrah every year, you can't make Hajj whenever you like. But there's one thing that you do have: that your parents are with you, they are alive. That is one thing, this is one way that you may attain salvation. Being dutiful to your parents.

In an era now, in a time now, where this has been eroded away, been taken away from the minds of people — what it is to be dutiful to one's parents. To be respectful of one's parents. Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, made it very clear in the Qur'an that we are to worship Him alone. Not associate any partners with Him. This is the Haq, the right of Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, over us. That He created us and we worship Him alone.

Along with that, in the many places that it is mentioned — the right of Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, the reason that you and I were created to worship Him alone — the very next thing that is mentioned is the right of the creation between themselves. And this is where Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, talks about the sons and the daughters, the children, to be dutiful and respectful to one's parents.

Worship Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, alone and do not associate anything with Him. And to be dutiful to both parents. Now, to be dutiful — and that's a loose translation, and to leave it at that is a lame translation. It's a poor translation. It gives you the understanding of what the ayah is talking about. But what is expected of you is far greater. To give ihsan to your parents. This means that you will try to achieve perfection in everything that you do and that you give to your parents.

What Your Parents Did for You

As I mentioned, from the time that we all came into this earth — something for you and I to ponder over. We will not remember it. But your mother, before you were born, from the day that you were conceived, may be holding her hand over her stomach, asking Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, to protect you, to keep you safe. Before you came into the dunya, making du'a for you, asking Allah that you are from the pious and that you are from the righteous. That you are obedient and you are a good person, a respectful person.

Before you came here, your mother was making du'a for you, carried you, ate well, was careful of herself, not to harm herself — because you were there in her stomach. And then you were born and you cried and you had nothing. She cuddled you, she fed you, she clothed you, all by Allah's permission. And that continued — no days off. No skipping days, one day on, one day off. Because your needs didn't have a day off. They were every single day, every single hour, every few hours — waking up, needs, crying — and your parents were there.

Your father doing what was necessary to maybe look after the home, facilitating the food and the clothing and the rent being paid. You are not oblivious to that. But you grew up and you worshipped Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala. These are things that we can never give back to our parents. You can never give it back to them what is due. This is the debt, as I mentioned, that can never ever be paid off.

What True Dutifulness Means

But many of us, we think we are being dutiful. We think, "I'm fulfilling the haq." Why? Because I'm giving them what I think is good for them. This is not being dutiful to one's parents. Being dutiful to one's parents is giving them their needs and what they need — not what you think they need. Not what satisfies you, but what will satisfy them. And it is your business — not for you to wait until they ask for something. It is your important business for you to know what they need before they even know it.

Simple example. It's very hot these days. Do they have a fan in the home? Maybe they don't have a fan. So you buy something that they may need now or in the future. You're constantly thinking: how can I be dutiful, how can I serve my parents? This is the type of mentality that is being eroded and lost within communities.

Examples from the Prophets

If you look at the stories — and I'm barely touching the surface, brothers and sisters, in terms of this topic. And I mention it, why? Because a lot of our youth — they're not at college, they're not at uni, they're not at school. They come to the masjid, alhamdulillah. They need to hear something. Even the elders from our community — we need to be reminded as well about being dutiful and respectful to our parents. This will be the source of your success in this life.

I am barely touching the surface about the virtues of being dutiful, about the importance of being good to one's parents. The stories that you find in the Qur'an — from Nuh, alayhi salam, making du'a for his parents: may Allah forgive them. The story of Yahya and Isa, alayhi salam, being dutiful to their parents. Ibrahim, alayhi salam, dealing with an idol maker — his own father — but addressing him:

My dear father, my dear father. Advising him, being calm with him. And even though in the end he was rebuked and talked to and spoken to so harshly — but Ibrahim remained respectful. This is what needs to be put within our understanding, within our tarbiyah, our communities. To bring back this understanding of being dutiful to one's parents. Serving Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, and serving one's parents.

The Reward and the Warning

Haqqullah — the right of Allah, jalla wa 'ala, our Creator. And Haqq al-makhluq — the right of the creation. The most important in both areas. The reward of being dutiful to one's parents: a pass into Paradise, the pleasure of Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala. Its punishment: being distant, away from the mercy of Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala.

The Prophet ﷺ even furthermore told us — imagine the reward — it increases your lifespan. How can it increase my lifespan? Is it not written, my age, a set age? Yes. But it may be also written that because you were dutiful to your parents, that Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, gave you more time. There is only righteousness and being dutiful to one's parents that which will increase your age. These are some of the virtues of being good to our parents, dutiful to our parents.

Dutifulness Supersedes Even Hijrah and Jihad

Being dutiful to one's parents even supersedes making hijrah. Some of the companions that came to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: "I came to you, O Messenger of Allah, to make hijrah with you. To make jihad with you, O Messenger of Allah ﷺ." On both occasions, he replied: "Are your parents alive? Go back to them and strive with them." And another said: "Did you seek their permission?" He said: "No." He said: "Go back to them." This is how the Prophet ﷺ taught us about the importance of being dutiful to one's parents.

Closing

Once you and I understand its reality, we will prioritize it as it should be prioritized. And may Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, make us from those people.