Strengthening Our Family Tree Through Kinship Ties

Opening

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيمِ، الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ، الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ وَصَلَاةُ وَسَلَامُ عَلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَأَصْحَابِهِ أَجْمَعِينَ، وَمَنْ تَبِعَهُمْ بِإِحْسَانٍ وَدَعَا بِدَعْوَتِهِمْ إِلَى يَوْمِ الدِّينِ

يَا اللَّهُ، يَا وَهَّابُ، يَا فَتَّاحُ.

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. My dear respected brothers, elders, and sisters.

Allah's Knowledge of Every Leaf

Allah has placed us into this world. And amongst us, He has also placed many other things around us. And these have been placed for us to ponder and for us to look at and truly remember Allah through them. Amongst these things are the beautiful trees that we see outside.

We look just in this locality, we'll find hundreds and thousands of trees. We go further in Illinois, in the world — millions, billions, trillions of trees. And each tree has how many thousands of leaves. And when we truly think about it, when we truly ponder about these leaves, we find that Allah knows about every single little thing in this world. So He'll know about that leaf when it turns green. He'll know when it starts to become yellow, when it starts to become red. He'll know when it falls off the tree. He'll know the exact second it touches the floor. And He'll know when the new leaf will come to replace it. And that is the beauty, that is the power of Allah.

The Family Tree — A Tree Rooted in Relationships

But today, I want to talk about a specific tree. This is our family tree — a tree which is rooted and strengthened by our relationships. And it holds utmost importance in Islam. Allah says:

That worship Allah, do not associate anything, do not associate anyone with Him. And be good to your parents and to your close relatives. That many a times we hear about being good to our parents, but we might forget that we must also be good to our relatives. And this is a command of Allah.

Upholding Kinship — A Quality of the Righteous

This is in fact a quality of the pious, of the righteous people. When the Prophet ﷺ was in the cave and Jibreel came, the Prophet ﷺ became immensely scared, so he went running to his wife Khadijah, may Allah be pleased with her. And he told her:

"Most certainly I fear for myself." So what did Khadijah, may Allah be pleased with her, respond with?

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 3)

"No, by Allah, Allah will never disgrace you. Indeed you uphold the ties of kinship." That even before Islam, Khadijah, may Allah be pleased with her, recognized that upholding the ties of kinship, upholding the family ties, this is a quality of the righteous people. And someone who holds the qualities of the righteous, Allah will never allow Shaitan to corrupt and to destroy that person.

The Reward of the People of Understanding

It comes in Surah Ra'd:

"Can the one who knows that whatever has been revealed to you from the Lord is the truth, be equal to the one who is blind? Only the people of understanding respond to the advice." That no one will be able to be mindful of the commands of Allah except those people of reasoning.

And then Allah continues and explains — He brings up nine attributes of these individuals. And the third one is:

Those who maintain the relationship that Allah has commanded to be maintained — meaning those people who are good to their relatives and they do not break the bonds of kinship. And what is the reward for those people?

"The gardens of eternity, which they will enter with the righteous amongst their parents, their spouses and their descendants, and the angels will enter upon them from every gate and will say: 'Peace upon you for the patience you observed — how excellent is the ultimate abode.'" That most definitely it is not easy to uphold the family ties, but you were patient, and now you are seeing the results — you are in Jannah, the eternal paradise. And that is definitely a great reward for upholding family ties.

The Rewards in This Life — Expanded Provision and Extended Lifespan

But the results are not limited to the hereafter — we can start to see the results in this life as well. The Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 5986; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2557)

"Whoever wishes that his provisions be expanded and his lifespan be extended, let him maintain the kinship — let him maintain the family ties." That this person, his provisions will be immense in barakah, and his life will be filled with such barakah that Allah will make it so that every single thing that he does draws him nearer to Jannah. And that is the result, that is the reward for upholding family ties.

The Story of the Boy and the Family Tree

There was once a little boy who was given an assignment by his teacher. The teacher told him: go create a family tree, go find out who all of your uncles are, all of your aunties, and write down their names, and write a little bit about them.

And this child, he begins to wonder that he doesn't know enough about his relatives. So he goes and he asks his mom, and he tells her, tell me a little bit about this aunt, this uncle, and so on and so forth. So the mom, she begins to tell him: we have this uncle, we have that uncle, he does this, she does that. And when she reaches the last one, she says, "And there's that one uncle — let's not put him in this family tree." So the son, he gets confused and says, "Why not? He's related to me, why are we not putting him in?" "You know, we haven't talked to him in a while, we don't really talk, we don't really meet — we don't need to put him." So the son, he keeps on pestering the mom, why, why, why, why? And eventually the mom just gets fed up and tells him, "You know, I don't know. We haven't talked for so long, we haven't talked for years. We had some sort of argument and I don't know."

So now he's confused, so he goes to the uncle. And he asks the uncle, "Uncle, why is it that you guys don't talk?" And the uncle doesn't want to answer. So the boy pesters him a bit, and eventually the uncle tells him, "You know, we haven't talked for years, and I don't know why."

So now, even more confused, the boy starts going to other relatives, he begins asking them, "What happened between them?" And no one really knows. Eventually he goes to his grandpa. And his grandpa tells him, "These people had a fight years and years ago. It was small — or it was huge — but no one really remembers. And not only does no one remember, they themselves forgot why they were fighting. But they only know that they are fighting and they cannot talk to each other. And because of this, they have basically forgotten each other."

My dear brothers and sisters, I ask you — how many arguments are we in that we don't even know why we're arguing? It's something small, something meager, yet we continue to argue, yet we continue to break the relationships in our family, just because. That Shaitan keeps on inciting, and we keep on being incited, so much so that we don't talk to individuals for years and years on end.

The Severe Warning Against Cutting Off Family Ties

Allah says, regarding the family ties:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 5987; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2555)

"Whoever maintains the ties of kinship, then I will maintain him. And whoever cuts them off, then I — meaning Allah — will cut that person off."

My dear brothers, I ask you — is our small little dispute in this world worth the displeasure of Allah? The Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 5984; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2556)

"The one who cuts off family ties will not enter Jannah." This is such an act that is so displeasing to Allah that someone who indulges himself in it, someone who does this, he's not going to be allowed to enter Jannah. Is it worth it? Is it worth it that we go through some happiness by cutting this person off in this world — for an act that displeases Allah such that we will not be able to enter Jannah?

The True Maintainer of Kinship

And even if the other person doesn't want to reconcile, we can still go, we can still try our best, we can still reach out. The Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 5991)

"The one who maintains kinship is not the one who just reciprocates. But rather this is the one that when someone else cuts off ties with him, he goes and he maintains them, and he ensures that he is not cutting off the family ties." That is the true person — the true person who follows Silat al-Rahim, the true person who continues to uphold family ties.

The Example of Ibrahim — Reaching Out Even When Rejected

My dear brothers, we look at the life of the Prophets. Ibrahim, peace be upon him, was banished by his own father from his city. His father kicked him out because he wanted to obey Allah, because he wanted to call towards what is right. But what did he do? He did not begin to curse him. He did not say, "Okay, I'm better off without you." But rather he made du'a for his forgiveness, he made du'a for his hidayah, and he continuously tried again and again to make him believe.

In a time where it has become so easy to reach out to other people, we happen to make it difficult upon ourselves. My dear brothers, every single one of our relatives is one button away. All we have to do is call, and we can start speaking to them. All we have to do is press one button and we can send them a gift. If we don't have time to call, we can send them a text message and we'll be able to reach out to them. It is not that difficult.

Our Homes — More Than Hotels

Even within our own houses, there is a saying in English — that homes have become hotels. That people check in and they check out whenever they want. That you don't know who's in your house, you don't know how long they're there. You just know, "Oh, maybe he's here, maybe he's not." It has become such that you could be living in the same house as someone and you haven't seen them in days, you haven't spoken to them in weeks, and you probably have not had dinner together at the same table in months.

My dear brothers, the Prophet ﷺ, when he was at his house, he would be in complete servitude and completely offering his khidmah to his family. A companion once asked Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, what did the Prophet ﷺ do at home? And she said:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 676)

"He would stay in the service of his family members." He would not sit around and watch. He would not wait until everything is ready for him. But rather he himself would be in their khidmah, he himself would continuously help them out. And when the time for salah came, he did not say, "No, I must help my family." He went and followed the command of Allah — he did go for salah as well.

We need to create an environment in our homes. It has become such that we sit at the dinner table and everyone is on their phones. We sit in the same room and everyone is on their phones. We sit in the same room with no phones, yet we just stare at each other. We need to begin to have dinner without our phones. We need to clear our schedules, and we need to spend time just with our family.

A Call to Action — Use This Break to Reconnect

Allah says:

"Be good to your parents, and be good to your family, to your close relatives." So during this break that we all have, during these few days that we don't have work, we don't have school — my dear brothers, we should try our best and we should go out and we should reach out to our family members. Whether it's people who we have cut off ties with, people we haven't talked to in years upon years — we should be the ones who reach out. We should want to follow that hadith of the Prophet ﷺ: the true reciprocator of ties is the one who reaches out even when it's cut off.

So if we have someone like that in our family — which hopefully we all do not — then we should be the first one to reach out to that person. And then of course we should also reach out to those individuals that we don't have any disputes with, those individuals who maybe we haven't texted in a while. Even if we just texted them last week, it does not hurt for us to call them, it does not hurt for us to visit them, it does not hurt for us to go give them a gift.

Conclusion — Strengthen the Tree

My dear brothers, we need to uphold our family ties and we need to follow the sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ. Our family is like a tree — every single time a branch falls off, every single time a branch weakens and dies, then the rest of the tree feels it. The tree becomes open to illnesses, it becomes disposed to decay, and so many other harms are caused to this tree that we cannot even mention. So we should uphold our family ties. Whenever we see someone getting far, we should reach out to them and we should tighten them — we should ensure that they do not fall off, that they do not get cut off from our family.

So I ask that Allah gives us all the ability to uphold the family ties. And I ask that Allah makes us known within our families and within our friends as that person who always reaches out — even if you forget about them, they will always reach out.

أَقُولُ قَوْلِي هَذَا وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهَ لِي وَلَكُمْ وَلِسَائِرِ الْمُسْلِمِينَ فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهُ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ

Du'a Requests

We have some du'a requests. Brother Fatih Mohammed Khan is having emergency surgery in New York — please make du'a for his shifa. Brother Iqbal Ashraf was diagnosed with cancer in Pakistan — please make du'a for his shifa. Brother Yaqub Hattanwala has knee replacement surgery on Tuesday — please make du'a for his full recovery. And of course, du'a for the entire Muslim Ummah, wherever they are suffering. I ask Allah to keep all of these brothers in His protection. And I ask that Allah cures them of any sicknesses that they're facing.

Announcements

Inshallah we have our annual winter intensive coming up soon — The Four Madhhabs: History, Methodology and Objections. There will be separate sessions for kids and youth. During these three days, you may immerse yourself in workshops on the four Madhhabs and discover how we understand and practice Islam. Upon concluding this course, you will have acquired a good understanding of how the four schools are inherited traditions representing more than a thousand years of scholarship. You can sign up today at masjidds.org/winter. This will be Saturday, Sunday and Monday — December 20th, 21st and 22nd inshallah.

For our weekly programs, you can join us every Monday night for a podcast-style conversation with Mufti Azeem Uddin Ahmad alongside a co-host. Each week Mufti Azeem will share his experiences, travels and perspectives on current events. The community will also have a chance to ask questions and engage in an open, interactive discussion. This will occur Mondays after Isha.

We have a deep dive into Tafsir as you uncover its timeless wisdoms during our Tuesday Tafsir — Reflect and Connect — with Mufti Minhaj Uddin. Additionally, we have our new series on Thursdays of Imam Tirmidhi's Shama'il al-Muhammadiyyah after Isha Salat. This is with Mawlana Abdul Basit in Urdu. And you can also join us weekly for our Saturday team Fajr — Lives of the Companions — which will continue tomorrow alongside breakfast.

Please purchase your tickets for the ICW fundraising dinner, our neighboring Masjid. Brothers are selling tickets outside. Please purchase and support a great cause — they are trying to build a youth center.

We also have our sisters' part-time programs: Riyadh al-Salihin on Wednesdays from 12 to 1pm; Part-time Hifz, Monday to Friday, four hours a week; and Sisters' Urdu Tafsir on Wednesdays from 2 to 3pm, which is online. If you want to receive the link, you may register at masjidds.org/rsvp.

Jazakallah Khair.