Who Are You When No One Is Watching? | Jumuah Khutbah | Imam Nadim Bashir | EPIC Masjid

Opening Supplications and Announcements

He has pneumonia complications. We ask Allah to grant him shifa and we ask Allah that everyone else in our community who are sick, may Allah give all of them shifa.

We ask Allah that all those who may have passed away, may Allah have mercy upon all of them.

I just want to remind everyone that Alhamdulillah at EPIC we are accepting donations for the people of Sudan. As you know the situation, as you have heard, you have seen on social media, it is very dire. There are people losing their lives. There are people who are in extreme need of just critical things and basic essentials of life such as water and so forth. So we are collecting donations for the people of Sudan and also I want to remind everyone that on your way out, please donate generously to the masjid as you all know. Alhamdulillah we provide many services here from the masjid, but in order to accomplish all that and in order to accommodate everyone, it takes your donations inshallah. So please on your way out, donate generously. Jazakumullah khair.

Asalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Alhamdulillah I ask Allah that just as he has gathered us here today on this day of Jum'ah, may Allah gather us along with our families in Jannah for those in the companionship of Rasulullah ﷺ and his sahaba. Ameen.

The Struggle Between Public and Private Identity

Brothers and sisters, from day one, human beings have always struggled between two sides. One is a public image, a public face which everyone sees and one is a private image that Allah sees. There's always been a gap between these two things and now with the advent of social media, this gap has become even bigger. People are creating alternative identities of themselves online. They're creating images of themselves and not only that but they are presenting a polished version of themselves to the entire world.

How many times do we have to remind ourselves that people are spending hours and hours performing and perfecting their image in front of the people but they're not even spending a few minutes in perfecting their hearts and their image in front of Allah. People fear of being exposed online but people have no fear of being exposed on the day of judgment. Where the entire creation will be there, our sins will be exposed unless Allah hides them.

We are living in a time where reputation matters more than righteousness and how we appear to people matters more than how we stand before Allah.

The Example of the Prophet ﷺ

Brothers and sisters, Allah in the Qur'an tells us, the best example that we can find is the example of Rasulullah ﷺ and when we study the life and the seerah of the Prophet ﷺ, we learn that he was an honest man in public but he was an honest man at home. The way he was doing things in public, the way he would interact with people in public, what he said in public is what he did behind closed doors. He did not live an alternative reality. He did not have multiple personalities and that is why our dear mother Aisha radiallahu anha she says, that his character was the Qur'an and that is why Allah in the Qur'an he says, Prophet ﷺ taught us that whoever you are at home, whoever you are in private, that is your true personality.

You cannot imagine that you have one personality outside in front of the public and you have the other one in your private life and shaitan makes us believe that Allah will judge us based on what we're showing to other people. No, Allah will judge us. Yes, Allah will judge us on that but more importantly Allah will judge us when no one was around us.

Who Are You Behind Closed Doors?

Brothers and sisters, ask yourself one question. Every one of us including myself, I have to ask myself this question and you all need to ask yourself this one question. Who are you not in front of the public? Who are you behind closed doors? That is who you are indeed. Fool everyone you want. You can fool everyone. You can't fool Allah and that is why the day will come where you and I will have to stand before Allah where Allah says in the Qur'an, all the secrets will be exposed.

Today subhanAllah I have so many people come to my office. I have a problem with my family. I have a problem with my husband. I have a problem with my wife. I have a problem with such and such person. Okay, if you have a problem just like when you go to court, if you go to court the other person has to come with you. When people come to my office and they tell me about their problems, I tell them bring the other person then we can sit down and talk about the issue. No, they don't want to come. Why don't people want to come? Because I don't want to show my face to the imam. I don't want to show my face to the shaykh. I don't want to humiliate myself.

I ask those people, you are afraid to show your face to the creation of Allah, an imam or a shaykh or a religious leader. Have you have no shame and no fear that you will be standing on the day of judgment. We all will be standing on the day of judgment. All the secrets will be exposed. You worry about humiliation in front of one person, you will be humiliated in front of the entire creation of Allah. Allah is reminding us this. Why? Because many of us, we have created multiple personalities. When we are with these friends, we act in a certain way. These friends, we act in a certain way.

We don't have two faces. You know what they say? That when you're a hypocrite you have two faces. We don't have two faces. We have five faces. We have ten faces. We're not genuine people. There's hypocrisy in our hearts. That is why we go back to the sunnah in the seerah of Rasulullah ﷺ.

And by the way brothers and sisters, if you for a moment, if you think that no one is catching on to our hypocrisy, you are delusional. Wallahi you are delusional. People see it. People may not say it, but people see it. They notice it. And then if you are a person who comes to the masjid, you are a person who identifies themselves as a very religious person, then they don't come and say, you are the problem. They say, oh is this what Islam teaches? I don't want nothing to do with Islam. If this is what it is, I want nothing to do with it.

Four Areas of Hypocrisy in Our Lives

So this is why right now in this khutbah inshallah, I want to share with you. There are four areas, four areas within our Muslim community, four areas within our life where there is a double standard. There's hypocrisy and we need to overcome that hypocrisy.

First Area: Public Religiosity vs Private Spirituality

The very first area of our life is public religiosity versus private spirituality. What does that mean? You can post a verse of the Qur'an on social media. You can actually come to the masjid every single day. Everyone sees that mashaAllah this person, he dresses a certain way. He has a long beard. He talks about Qur'an and sunnah. But in reality, behind closed doors, these are people who have no religiosity in their hearts. They have no spirituality in their hearts. Religiosity is only an image. It's not deep down in here in their heart, where it needs to be.

And that is why these people, they have absolutely no guilt. There's no spirituality in their heart. But there's also no guilt when they commit haram behind closed doors. There's no guilt. They don't say أَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ. There's no guilt in their heart in the sense that there is no remorse that they have committed sins. These are people who are obsessed with showing the entire public that I'm a very religious person. But behind closed doors, there is no religiosity in their life.

That is why Rasulullah ﷺ, he tells us in a hadith that this hypocrisy will be evident on the day of judgment. And he says that this is why you have the alim, you have the qari, you have the shaheed, you have the reciter, the scholar, you have the martyr. Three people will be brought on the day of judgment and their hypocrisy will be exposed. They'll be thrown into Jahannam. Why? Because on the outside, they wanted to show the public a certain image, but they were not worried about the state of their heart.

And that is why it is very important for all of us, brothers and sisters, that we need to learn how to develop ikhlas in our life. Wallahi, it is not about the image in the public. We are so obsessed about that. We should make sure that we are pleasing Allah in our private life. If I'm making dua, make dua at a time when no one is watching you.

Why do you think Rasulullah ﷺ, he says in the hadith that starts with Salaam, ends with Salaam, narrated by Abdullah ibn Salaam. He says, Why do you think the Prophet ﷺ says that these are the people who wake up in the middle of the night because no one is watching them?

You know, imagine sitting at a table and you are a person who wakes up every single night and you give so much donations. And you're sitting on a table and they're all talking about a person that, you know what, that guy man, mashaAllah, he wakes up every single night. Or that sister, mashaAllah, she gives so much sadaqah. And deep down inside you're like, man, I give so much sadaqah, no one talks about me. I pray every single night, no one talks about me. And then you're like, yeah, by the way, you know, I also do the same thing too. You understand? That is a violation of your ikhlas. That is a violation of your ikhlas. Why do we have to always be obsessed in showing people what we are doing, rather leave it for Allah.

So this is the very first thing is that when it comes to our religiosity, we are obsessed in showing our religiosity to people, but privately we have no spirituality in our life.

Second Area: Public Character vs Private Family Relations

Number two, public character versus private family relations. This is also something that we see very often. I've talked about this in my khutbah extensively before. On the outside, we show that we are a very good person. Every time we go outside, we put a smile on our face. We see a non-mahram lady, we'll talk right away to her. Or a non-mahram man, sometimes we'll talk to them also. We will show that we have the best demeanor. And any person who looks at us will say, man, mashaAllah, I envy their family. They have such an amazing guy. They have such an amazing woman at home.

But as soon as you get home, your true colors show. These people, these kind of women, they're harsh with their husbands. They're impatient with their children. Always yelling and screaming at their children, making them feel that they will never ever smell the fragrance of Jannah. Anything wrong, Jahannam. Anything wrong, Jahannam. And then you have also the brothers too. That outside, there's a smile always on their face. But the minute they go home, they're silent, they're angry. They don't want to be around their children. They just want to be left all alone. They think that everyone in their family is a burden upon them.

I ask you, is this who was, is this who, what the Prophet ﷺ was? The Prophet ﷺ is teaching us, the best amongst you are those who are the best of their families. You know why? Because your true colors show when you are around your family. Brothers and sisters, do not be delusional. Brothers and sisters, do not be delusional. If outside you are great, but at home you are a tyrant. People hate you at home. Remember, you are not a good person then.

Now I'm not saying that sometimes, there are some cases. Yes, let me say this also clearly. There are some cases where people are genuinely good. The man is good. The woman is good. But everyone else, they're not good. And they demonize that person. You find these kind of cases also.

The Double Standard in Our Community

But what is the point of a person if every single time you go home, they cannot breathe. They cannot inhale and exhale. And the minute you leave the house, they feel like that now they can breathe. What kind of a presence is that? And where are you going? I'm going to go give dawah. Where are you going? I'm going to the masjid. Where are you going? I'm going to go help that person. So you show that you are a religious person. But as soon as you get home, you are entirely different person.

Brothers and sisters, you'll be judged on this. That is why the Prophet ﷺ says, I was the best to my family. And how the Prophet ﷺ treated his family. Whenever they needed him, the Prophet ﷺ was there for his family. You don't hear a single wife of the Prophet ﷺ ever claiming that the Prophet ﷺ was rude with them. The Prophet ﷺ was disrespectful to them. The Prophet ﷺ used verbal abuse in the family. You'll not find a single wife of the Prophet ﷺ ever complaining about this.

In fact, you have Aisha رضي الله عنها telling us that the Prophet ﷺ never ever raised his hands on his family. And today, because you and I, we are so culturally infused. We are so culturally impacted. So many people, they think it is part of our culture. It is absolutely fine. And how many Muslims, they verbally and physically abuse their family members. It is absolutely haram to verbally, psychologically, emotionally, physically abuse your family members. But outside, they look like Jibreel عليه السلام.

Brothers and sisters, you have to answer to Allah at the end of the day. And be good to your families. Do not make your family feel like, I cannot wait. Do not make your children, do not put your children in such a situation that they're happy when you are away. They should cherish you. They should love you. This is how a parent is.

When Fatima رضي الله عنها would come, what would the Prophet ﷺ do? He would not say, you know what, get out of here, I'm working. Sometimes, yes, we have to work and the kids are coming. We tell them gently, I'm working right now. I cannot, I cannot right now do this right now. You understand? Or we'll talk later on. But a lot of times, there were cases where Fatima رضي الله عنها would come in and Rasulullah ﷺ would bring her and put her right next to where she was sitting, where he was sitting. This is the love that we need to show our families, brothers and sisters.

Social Media and Hidden Behavior

Number three, there is an akhlaq that we show outside. But there's a different personality that we show, especially when it comes to social media. There are people who look very religiously and clean in the community. But on their social media accounts, they're doing things which are completely haram. And that could range from different things, whether they have secret accounts that they're not showing anyone else, or DMing people that they're not supposed to be showing or DMing people that they're not supposed to be DMing.

In the middle of the night, in late night, this is happening a lot within our community. It's not about the outside community. This is happening within our community. And it's not only the non-married brothers and sisters who are doing this to each other. This is happening even within married couples also. DMing non-mahram men, DMing non-mahram women. One is that you send a message, is something related to a business, something related to something very serious, something important. That's something different. But you should not be DMing people.

You can show outside that you are a religious person. But social media wise, you're sitting there watching things that you're not supposed to be watching. Things that you will not watch in front of other people. Things that you are saying online. SubhanAllah, you know times when I see on social media, even on WhatsApp, I see how people are talking. I see how people are talking to each other. And I'm asking myself, these are the people who come to the masjid? These are the people who claim that they are religious people? And how they're talking to each other? And how rude they are to each other? And how disrespectful they are to each other? And calling each other kafir? And calling each other munafiq? And calling and using labels against each other?

But outside again, they have a public image to save and to preserve. Brothers and sisters, who are we again? When we keep on doing these kinds of things, people will catch up to us. People will see this. And forget about people. Allah is watching us. Think about you and I are DMing people that we're not supposed to DM them. And then on the Day of Judgment, all this becomes exposed. We will be humiliated on the Day of Judgment. Yet we keep on doing these over and over again.

And Allah reminds us:

Allah knows what's in the betrayal of the eyes and what the heart conceals. Allah knows all these things.

Practical Solutions

So that is why brothers and sisters, first of all is that if I'm seeing things online that I'm not supposed to, first of all, remove it from your phone. If it is an app that is destroying your akhirah, remove the app. If it is you being alone that is destroying your akhirah, stop being alone. If it is you using your phone at night when you're not supposed to, put away the phone. Have some discipline in your life. No one's going to come and take a phone away from your hand because you are an adult. But you have to have some discipline in your life.

Remind yourself:

Aren't you seeing that Allah is watching?

And let's just say you even fell into that sin. Let's just say you're seeing something that you're not supposed to. But then make istighfar to Allah. We make tawbah to Allah. Be actual regretful in your heart that, Ya Allah, I have committed a sin. Ya Allah, I did something that is wrong. Ya Allah, forgive me. But then we take practical steps in order to stay away from that haram.

Impact on Our Children

And if there is something that we are saying online, we are doing online, then we try to stay away because at the end of the day, at the end of the day, what we say matters. It's not just about what we say, but what we type also on social media. You know how much cyberbullying that takes place? And how much, again, sometimes we're so focused on what goes on outside. There's a lot of problems outside. But even today within our own Muslim kids, our own Muslim kids, and you know what, I'm gonna say this, because many of our parents, you have no idea what your kids are sitting on. You have no idea what your kids are playing.

They are playing games or watching things that you think they're absolutely fine. But you have no idea. Kids watching anime after anime after anime. And the parents are saying, Oh, this is a cartoon. This is just a cartoon. It's not a cartoon. It's a problem. You understand? You have no idea. There are so many kids who become addicted to anime.

On the flip side, you have so many apps online. For example, Discord is one that so many of our kids are using Discord. And you may not know what goes on Discord. Because many of you parents have probably have an Instagram account, or probably at the bare minimum, you have a WhatsApp account for sure. You have a WhatsApp account. But then besides that, you have no idea what you're doing. You have no idea what your kids on.

And by the way, you have these kind of apps where there's so much bullying that is going on between Muslim kids, between girls, between boys, and even cross. Like men and the boys, boy and bullying girls and girls saying things about boys and so forth. You understand? This is happening. It is your job as a parent that you need to know what your kids are up to. What kind of games your kids are playing, you need to be in tune with that. You cannot just say, you know what, go play whatever you want to play. No, that doesn't work.

Business Dealings and Honesty

So that is why brothers and sisters, these are things that we have to be very, very careful of. And the last thing that we need to be very careful of, which is something that's very common within our community in our society, when it comes to again, the double standard is that outside, in front of the community, in front of others, we show that mashallah, we want to we are a very, very honest man, we are a very honest person.

But then you only realize that that honesty was only a deception when you begin to do business with them. The minute you get into business with someone, oh, man, subhanAllah, you see what begins to happen. You see payments are getting delayed, excuses begin hiding money from each other. You see these kinds of things. Records don't match happens over and over again within our Muslim community.

You get in business with someone, and then they are lying and deceiving you. The records don't match. One Excel sheet says this one Excel sheet says this, the report that's coming from the contractor says this, your records say this, and they don't match up. And this is happening. And why is it because it's greed, we just want more and more هَلْ مِن مَّزِيدٍ, هَلْ مِن مَّزِيدٍ, we just want more and more. And our stomachs are not getting full because of this. And that is why we have problems today also in our community.

Brothers and sisters, when you do this over and over again, remind ourselves that why did Allah destroy Qawm Shuaib, because they were unfair in business dealings, they would cheat each other over and over again. When it came to when it comes to the Quran Allah says:

Allah talks about these people who cheat in their business. You want to show a face, but be honest with people. And then all of a sudden you show a different face.

That is why Umar al-Khattab رضي الله عنه says, you really want to get to know someone, either travel with them, because travel ain't easy. And number two is engage in a business transaction, you'll get to know exactly what you're dealing with. And this happens a lot within our Muslim community.

And these kind of people, they come to our masajid, they come to our Muslim community. I'm not saying don't come to masjid, come to the masjid. But the point is that you show a face outside. And then after a while you ask that same person, you ask the people who have lost so much money, I've lost 100,000, I've lost 200,000, I've lost half a million. Wallahi, like ask yourself this one simple question. You think you're going to get away with this on the Day of Judgment?

And who did you fool? You fooled that one person, you took something from that person, and then what does that person do? Who is the aggressor? They will go to someone else. And they will say, you know what, I have this problem, I have that problem. Again they show a certain, they present a certain personality. And that person, and you know what they do often? Verse of the Qur'an after verse of the Qur'an. It's like you look, you hear this person, you're like, man mashallah he's a hafidh. He knows all the verses of the Qur'an regarding business and transactions. That's all he knows, okay? That's the only verses they know.

And they'll give you, they'll paint such a picture that they are such a trustworthy and honest man. They will know all the hadith regarding being trustworthy and honest. But the minute you get into business with them, you see what goes on. And that is why there are so many cases where I've seen, so many people come to my office, and wallahi I tell them, the only thing you can do is, you just leave it for the akhira. Because if you, there's no way to solve that problem, you just leave it for the akhira.

Conclusion

So that is why brothers and sisters, these are four areas that are happening where people are showing double standards, people are showing something, but in reality something else is going on. We ask Allah that he make us like the Prophet ﷺ.

Conclusion and Du'a

May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us the personality and the demeanor of Rasulullah ﷺ, where we have only one personality. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make our akhlaq like the Qur'an. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala raise us from amongst those who have akhlaq in their life.

Four Key Points to Remember

I just want to remind everyone the four things I mentioned. Number one is your public religiosity versus private spirituality. Number two was your character outside versus your character at home, who you are at home. Number three is your public display of akhlaq versus your other personality online, on social media. And number four is your public character, your public demeanor, your public image versus actually what you are when you are doing business with other people.

May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala keep our hearts clean. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala keep us steadfast on the deen of Rasulallah ﷺ. And may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala take us from this dunya when he is most pleased with us. Ameen. Ya Rabbal Alameen.

Closing Du'a

Straighten lines, fill in the gaps. Straighten lines, fill in the gaps. Sisters, straighten lines, fill in the gaps. If there's any sisters in the multipurpose hall, please come inside the main hall. Brothers in the lobby area, please come inside the main hall. Brothers in the back two rooms, please come inside the main hall. And I request the brothers in the back two rooms to please make sure the rows are straight. Please make sure the rows are straight and the rows are complete. Often they are left incomplete. Please make sure the rows are complete. If you see any gap in front of you, please fill up the gap.

Adhan and Iqamah

Prayer