Journey into Knowledge | Session 2 | Mufti Abdul Rahman Waheed | Knowledge Retreat 2023

Journey into Knowledge — Session 2: Etiquettes During the Study of Knowledge

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. نحمده ونصلي على رسوله الكريم

So before we get started with today's etiquettes, I want to just get a refresher of what we spoke about yesterday. Can someone start reminding all of us — Dr. Haifa wasn't here yesterday. Why don't you show her that you're such a good student? So just, I'll ask a few hands, you just tell me what we spoke about and we'll go on to today's session. Yes, and not only what we spoke about, but if you have your own small reflection over it, I don't mind you sharing it. But if it's a long lecture, then just come to the stage.

Recap of Yesterday's Session

The importance of adab — what about it? So what about the importance of adab, why is adab so important? We spoke about the etiquettes before seeking knowledge. How many etiquettes were there before seeking knowledge? Four. Okay, number one — which one is it?

Intention. I want to just add one thing that we mentioned — five intentions to seek knowledge. People come for the vibe. People go to amusement parks for the vibes, people go to different places for the vibe, people go to a coffee house for the vibe. You can make a better Adni chai at home. So if you're coming for the environment, that's also a good intention, no problem. Alright, so that's intention.

Someone also came to me after class and said, "How do we correct our intention?" The best thing about intention for knowledge is that knowledge is so pure — it's so pure that the more you seek it, the more your intention gets corrected. Fadhl Ibn Iyad said that initially some of us started seeking knowledge for other things, and knowledge refused and denied our entrance, except for the fact that we learnt it for the sake of Allah. So yes, initially you may not have the right intention, but as long as you keep learning you will end up being on the right track and having tashih al-niyyah.

Alright, that's the first one. Second one — al-jidd, hard work. Working hard, staying in class, struggling. The third one — muwazabah. How many of us acted upon muwazabah today? Muwazabah was to come on time before the teacher. Don't make the teacher wait for you — you should wait for the teacher. Also during breaks, you should come first, then the teacher should be there. And the fourth one — hurma. Honor and respect is better than obedience. Come in a state of wudu, come with nice clothes, have respect and honor for a class like this.

Today's Session: Four Etiquettes During the Study of Knowledge

So today's session is going to be about four etiquettes that we must have during our study of knowledge — during our classroom sessions. Yesterday's four were before, today's four are during. And inshallah, if Mufti al-Muhabba allows me to speak again, we'll have one on Monday covering four etiquettes afterwards. So it makes it easy to understand all of them.

Before I start, I'm going to give you guys a minute. Think about which four I'm going to talk about. And again, don't talk, just think about it. The only thing we should hear is your pen moving. Think about which four things I have summarized and shortlisted among hundreds of etiquettes — but these four, in my opinion, are the most important ones in today's age, speaking to this audience.

Some of you have suggested: minimize distractions, active listening, taking notes, asking good questions, sitting upright, sincerity, patience. Mashallah — some of you got the right answer and some of you didn't. But let's start.

The First Etiquette: Istihdhar — Being Present

My four — number one. I believe this is the most important quality to have in order for you to benefit from your surroundings. Let me take it a step forward. The most sacred places on this earth — Mecca, Medina, Bayt al-Maqdis — beautiful places. Places where you should walk into, or even before walking into, just thinking about going can change your life. But if you don't have this quality, you're not going to be able to benefit from your surroundings. This is a must-have, and it is called istihdhar.

It's many different words I wrote down, but I'm going to give you one word — istihdhar. It means being mindful, being present, making yourself present. Think about it: when you go to Masjid Nabawi, Medina Munawwara, there are no longer the homes of the Sahaba there. There is no longer anything there that is the same as it was at the time of the Prophet ﷺ.

Sa'eed ibn al-Musayyib rahmatullahi alayhi says: "The most I've seen the tabi'een crying in my life was not at any Quranic ayah that I listened to, or at anyone's death. He said the most I've seen someone crying in the masjid of the Prophet ﷺ was when the homes of the Prophet ﷺ were destroyed so they could be added into the space of the masjid." Why were they crying so much? Because that reminded them of the Prophet ﷺ. He said, "What's going to happen to the next generation? They would come to Medina and not see the house of the Prophet ﷺ. Not see how he lived. How are they going to love the Prophet ﷺ? How are they going to appreciate the Prophet ﷺ?"

So when we go to Medina Munawwara, we don't see those things. We see tiles, we see a beautiful dome, we see beautiful architecture. But if we get caught in that and we don't have istihdhar — istihdhar means: I may be walking on the same place where the Prophet ﷺ was walking, and so you take yourself out of just that environment you're in. You say, "You know what? This was the same place where Abu Ayyub al-Ansari's رضي الله عنه house was." And in thinking about that — one time Umar ibn al-Khattab رضي الله عنه was sitting in front of the minbar of the Prophet ﷺ and he started crying so much, and someone asked him why he was crying. He said, "Because I remembered a moment when the Prophet ﷺ was sitting right in front of me, right here." So this is istihdhar — to make yourself present.

So this is important for class. Abu al-Darda رضي الله عنه used to say in his du'a:

"O Allah, I seek refuge in You from the tafriqa of the heart." You know what tafriqa means? To divide something, to break something into pieces — that my heart is distracted. And someone asked him, "What does that even mean?" He said: أَنْ يُوضَعَ لِي فِي كُلِّ وَادٍ مَالٌ — "That I have so many things I have to think about — this business, that thing, this thing — I seek refuge in Allah from that."

And then Abu al-Darda also used to say: أَعُوذُ بِاللهِ مِنْ خُشُوعِ النِّفَاقِ — "Seek refuge in Allah from the purest form of hypocrisy." And he was asked, "What is this hypocrisy you're speaking of?" And he said: أَنْ يُرَى الْجَسَدُ خَاشِعًا وَالْقَلْبُ لَيْسَ بِخَاشِعٍ — "That you see that your body is present somewhere, but your heart is absent."

Your body is there. I always mention the poem of Iqbal:

"O Iqbal, this sajda that you're doing — may it not take you further from Allah. You're bowing down physically in front of Him, but your heart is somewhere else."

And so Abdullah ibn Mas'ud رضي الله عنه used to say: مَفَاوِزُ الدُّنْيَا تُقْطَعُ بِالْأَقْدَامِ — the journeys of this world are traversed through walking, driving, flying. This is how you get from here to there. But then he said something so interesting: وَمَفَاوِزُ الآخِرَةِ تُقْطَعُ بِالْقُلُوبِ — "But the levels, the stages of the akhira, you travel through them and elevate with your heart." You can sit right here and not move — just your heart can take you straight to Allah, with no movement at all, just the fact that you're present.

And then Yahya ibn Mu'adh رحمة الله عليه said:

"The one who sits in a place and their heart is completely empty — first you have to empty your heart so that you can benefit from the knowledge — Allah opens up the rivers of hikmah in their heart, and this person can speak with it now."

And I'm going to say one last thing about this. The ulama say that seeking knowledge is the salah of the inner self: إِنَّ الْعِلْمَ صَلَاةُ الْبَاطِنِ. So think of salah — for salah you have to purify yourself before you can stand in front of Allah. You have to remove all these other obstacles and then focus on the salah. You've got to get out of your car, you've got to stand in front of Allah, purify yourself. Same thing with ilm — you have to purify your heart, clean your heart, before you can attain knowledge.

The second thing — this is in Madarij al-Salikin, Ibn al-Qayyim is mentioning this — like in salah, you have to face the qibla. And because ilm is the ibadah of the qalb, you have to now turn your heart towards Allah. He says, so beautifully: بَلْ وَجَّهَ بَدَنَهُ إِلَى الْبَيْتِ وَوَجَّهَ قَلْبَهُ إِلَى غَيْرِ رَبِّ الْبَيْتِ — "You turn your body towards the Ka'bah, but you don't turn your heart to the One who created the Ka'bah, the Lord of the Ka'bah."

So how does that look practically for us? In the story of Maryam, Allah says:

She left her family. One way of keeping your heart empty and having istihdhar — the first and most effective way — is removing obstacles. Someone mentioned that, right? Look at Maryam alayhas-salam: she wanted to get closer to Allah, she left her family. Many of you have left your families and come here — so that's a beautiful thing.

But shaytan is not going to stop there. In the Quran, Allah mentions about shaytan's trick and the way he comes to the children of Adam. He says:

You know what لَأَحْتَنِكَنَّ means? It comes from the word tahnik. You've heard the word tahnik before? You take a date and you take it to a shaykh or someone in your family that you love, and they put the date in their mouth — the sunnah is just to put it in your mouth and chew it with your teeth, and the date should touch the top of your mouth. Hanak means the top of your mouth — the place where you can't see.

I remember Shaykh Abdullah — he took a date to a shaykh for tahnik. This shaykh used to eat paan. His mouth was full — it was red. So Shaykh Abdullah — he's like my older brother — he took it and said, "Shaykh, I need you to do tahnik for my son." So this shaykh, my brother gives him this date, the shaykh takes the date — Alhamdulillah — puts it in his mouth, and starts chewing it, chewing it, chewing it. And remember he just ate the paan. And then at the end, he's like, "You have some ziplock bag or something?" And my brother had a bag. He takes it and spits into it. And my brother's like, "There is no way my son is eating that." So then he takes it to another shaykh, and the other shaykh puts it in his mouth the right way of doing tahnik — and mashallah, may Allah bless this man.

But the reason I'm saying that is because shaytan — Allah talks about shaytan's tricks — and لَأَحْتَنِكَنَّ means he comes from a place where you can't even see, you can't imagine, you don't even notice it. So how is he going to come? You came to this place — one of the distractions you already left. You came here, some of you coming from your homes. Now shaytan says, "Okay, he works hard so you don't do ibadah, but once you beat him and you're like 'I'm going to do this ibadah,' he says, 'Well, I'm going to come during your ibadah and mess it up.'" Okay, you came all the way here to learn knowledge — let me figure out a way so that these people don't actually benefit from being in this gathering. We have people from all over the place, so you have to stay on guard, because shaytan doesn't want you or me to benefit from these gatherings.

Remember these gatherings — Umar ibn al-Khattab رضي الله عنه wants to say that these gatherings — the ones we're sitting in right now, speaking about Allah — are the cure for the heart, and speaking about people is the source of diseases. So this is a beautiful gathering. So how do we benefit from it? Remove our distractions.

You see, Maryam left her family — like all of you leaving — and then she did one more thing:

Have you ever seen i'tikaf? People come to the masjid — they already left their family — but then they do one more thing: they put up those little barriers and curtains, another secondary hijab. Why? So they can focus a little bit more. So all of us — now we came, now we have to put that secondary hijab, that secondary barrier. I'm not going to tell you exactly what you should do; everyone can have different strategies. I would say one of them is to pray two rak'ahs before coming to class, just to get yourself ready. Another one — wudu. How about your phone? Remove it. If we do not remove these obstacles between us and Allah, then they will become an obstacle in our journey to Allah.

You have to remove these barriers. Now our phones — sitting in class, we're paying attention, and then all of a sudden we get a notification. Doesn't that distract you? We're only here for three to four days, so it's probably a better idea to turn them off or just go see them when you go outside in the hall. Some people are on their laptops taking notes — and when you see someone zoomed in on the laptop screen, typing furiously — that means they're not listening, they're doing something else. If your laptop or your phone or your iPad can distract you — some people are taking notes on phones and iPads, and that's fine — but do not disturb, no other notifications, no other apps. This will help make your heart attentive.

The Second Etiquette: Adab al-Sama' — The Etiquette of Listening

Once that happens, there is a second quality — the second etiquette. Whatever I just spoke about — the best way to retain knowledge is mudhakara. Discuss it. When I say discuss it, don't give your own speech. Whatever you heard, discuss it. It helps you retain. We're going to be hearing so many things in the next three to four days — this is a very practical way of keeping and preserving things. The more you say it, the more you preserve it.

Once your heart is empty, the vessel is empty — then you can actually taste the sweetness of what you're hearing. Hassan al-Basri رحمة الله عليه used to say: تَفَقَّدِ الْحَلَاوَةَ فِي ثَلَاثٍ — you should search for the sweetness of iman, the sweetness of life, the enjoyment of life in three things: in salah, وَفِي الْقُرْآنِ — when reciting and listening to the Quran — وَفِي الذِّكْرِ وَمَجَالِسِ الذِّكْرِ — and in the remembrance of Allah and sitting in gatherings of remembrance.

So once your heart is empty, then you can feel the sweetness and the joy of something. Once you feel the joy of something, the length of it doesn't bother you. This is a very bad example but — watching something you like and enjoy: three hours goes by, four hours goes by, you don't even realize. But then starting something you don't enjoy — those two or three hours become dreadful. Same thing with this: we're sitting for seven, eight hours, but when your heart is empty and you start feeling the enjoyment of it, you don't even realize four or five hours went by.

Imam al-Ghazali says:

"You can never attain knowledge if you don't have two things: one is humility, and the second is attentive listening — إِلْقَاءُ السَّمْعِ — that you give your full body, your soul, your mind, and you hear everything that is being mentioned."

Ibrahim al-Taymi says: "I met sixty Sahaba, and every single one of them — any time they heard إِذَا زُلْزِلَتِ الْأَرْضُ زِلْزَالَهَا — they all cried. Every time they heard it, they cried." How many times do we hear it and nothing happens to us? They heard it and started crying because it took effect — because their hearts were so pure and they were so clean and so attentive.

Hassan ibn Abd al-Aziz says: مَنْ لَمْ يَرْجُفْ قَلْبُهُ عِنْدَ ذِكْرِ اللهِ وَالْمَوْتِ ثُمَّ تَتَنَاطَحِ الْجِبَالُ بَيْنَ يَدَيْهِ — "A person who does not tremble and pause when they hear the dhikr of Allah or they see death — they will not change. Even if the mountains fall in front of them, nothing can change them."

So now how does that look practically? Ibn al-Jama'a says:

"A person must listen to every word and every hadith and every verse that is being recited, that is being spoken about, with respect and honor — even if they heard the same hadith, the same story, a thousand times." Then he goes on to say how you measure that:

"A person whose zeal, eagerness, and joy when hearing about this verse or the story of a Sahabi — if it is not the same after hearing it a thousand times as it was when he heard it for the first time — this person is not worthy of learning knowledge."

Brothers and sisters, this is a pandemic in our community. Whenever a khatib comes and he starts speaking and you already heard the story before — we tune out right there. It doesn't matter how many times your kids tell you "I love you" — it sounds good every single time, doesn't it? Hopefully. It didn't matter how many times the Prophet ﷺ said the same thing over and over.

Imagine Abu Bakr رضي الله عنه going with the Prophet ﷺ in Mina during the mawasim al-Hajj, and every single person — wallahi, this is so hard, because as speakers when we travel with people we say the same speech. You gave the speech yesterday and now next day you're speaking and they're there again — you feel a little uncomfortable. Then next day you're speaking somewhere else and they're there again — it's uncomfortable both for the speaker and the listener, thinking, "We already heard this yesterday." But imagine Abu Bakr رضي الله عنه — he's with the Prophet ﷺ every single day, going everywhere, and the Prophet is saying to people:

"Say La ilaha illallah and you will be successful." Nothing changes in his words. But Abu Bakr was not looking at the words — he was looking at the one who was speaking. He was looking at the Prophet ﷺ. He loved him so much that anything he said, even if it was quiet, was so much for him.

So Imam al-Shafi'i رحمة الله عليه — he was asked by Imam Malik when he was testing whether he was worthy of seeking knowledge with him: كَيْفَ شَهْوَتُكَ لِلْعِلْمِ؟ — "What is your enjoyment and craving for knowledge?" And you know what he said? He said: "Wallahi, for me, when I hear something — even if I heard it one thousand times — my ears enjoy it so much that my entire body envies my ears and wishes it were my ears so it could enjoy like that as well." Imam Malik said, "Alright, you're accepted."

How do we feel? You know, we're going to hear sometimes repetitions, hear the same thing. But if it's something that Allah and the Prophet ﷺ are saying, it's okay. The stories of Musa alayhi al-salam are mentioned over and over again in the Quran — no problem.

And I'll say one more thing about how you should react when you're listening. I could literally tell if you heard something before just by your facial expressions. When I start a poem and someone already knows it, they put their head down. And so Ata ibn Abi Rabah says — subhanAllah, listen to this — he says: "Like this young man, an energetic young scholar, speaking about something. فَأَسْتَمِعُ — I listen to him so attentively as if I've never heard this in my life before." And then he drops the mic. He says: "And the reality is I memorized that before he was even born." But the way he listens — from a youngster — he says: "I listen to a hadith or some words or a story from somebody and I express to him a manner such that he thinks I've never heard this before, so he enjoys telling the story." That is adab al-sama'.

That's how we should sit in class and listen. First, empty your heart — then you can enjoy the words, you can sit down in class, it won't be a burden. And one of the main etiquettes is to listen to things even if you've heard them many times before. Don't listen to them as if you've heard them before — pay attention and listen.

The Third Etiquette: Ihtiram — Respect for the Teacher in the Classroom

Now, how many etiquettes was that? Two. The third one — this one is important. Remember, I said we can't tell which one is more important than the other. This one is ihtiram for the teacher in the class. Not ihtiram for the teacher outside the class — that's a whole different subject. What level of respect for the teacher in the classroom?

First of all, you brothers and sisters sitting here are so fortunate that you're sitting in a classroom with so many scholars teaching you. For this, you should all say Alhamdulillah. Because the problem of this ummah today is that so much knowledge is being attained just through books and just through online resources. Imam al-Shafi'i رحمة الله عليه says: مَنْ تَفَقَّهَ مِنْ بُطُونِ الْكُتُبِ ضَيَّعَ الْأَحْكَامَ — "A person who just learns from books — so imagine what he would say if he saw YouTube or he saw Google." I'm not saying don't subscribe to the Miftah YouTube channel — do that — but you cannot expect to become a scholar, or a true student of knowledge, just from that. It's good for motivation, for encouragement, for reminders. And he's talking about a person who has a book in front of him, knows how to read it, and understands Arabic — even that person — he says, مِنْ أَعْظَمِ الْبَلِيَّةِ — the worst tragedy of our time is tashyikh al-sahifah — making the book your shaykh. I would say tashyikh al-internet — making the internet your shaykh.

So the fact is that we are so blessed that we have teachers teaching us — so we should honor them and respect them. How do we honor them? The first way, practically as a student sitting in class: Imam al-Shafi'i says:

"I used to turn the pages of my book in front of Imam Malik in such a gentle manner, just because I did not want him to even hear the moving of my pages." And he was a scholar himself. His student, Imam al-Shafi'i's student, Rabi' — wallahi, I enjoy teaching this class because I enjoy studying their lives. These people were just unbelievable, and I and many other scholars always pin it down to the fact that they were so particular about the smallest things — because of that, Allah made them great. He says: وَاللهِ مَا اجْتَرَأْتُ أَنْ أَشْرَبَ الْمَاءَ وَالشَّافِعِيُّ يَنْظُرُ إِلَيَّ — "Wallahi, I would not have the courage to even drink water in class in front of Imam al-Shafi'i, out of respect for him."

Now I'm not saying you should not have water bottles. When we were young — I was a child, when I was like seven, eight, nine years old — we would walk into a hifz class or an 'alim program for like six, seven hours. No student had water, it was something we never even thought of. Now — forget Miftah students — I'm talking about the full timers that study ilm for ten years. They're all walking with those gym bottles, all loud, sitting in front of the teacher, gulping water while the teacher is teaching. When you read these narrations, you realize that is so far from adab.

I would say — you can bring water, no problem. If you think you can sit three to four hours without drinking water and you'll be fine, no problem. But if you're someone who needs to drink every few minutes to stay fresh, bring it to class. But just make less sound, because it disturbs the teacher — it really does.

And you know what's even more disturbing? When you walk into any Miftah program, mashallah, Miftah is known for having snacks and food and ikram. You walk by this table of chips and cookies and biscuits — that stand of chips is not yelling your name. But what happens is, before we even sit, we're grabbing chips. That is disturbing for the teacher. In a light way I'm saying — don't do it. Even as children in front of your parents, you shouldn't do it.

Imam Zayn al-Abidin رحمة الله عليه used to be careful in front of his mother. People used to say, "You're not a good child, you don't eat with your mother." He says: "No, I'm afraid to eat with her for two reasons. Number one: I'm afraid that as I'm eating with her, her eyes go to a morsel or a portion of meat that she wants, and I take it before her and I become someone who is disobedient to her without even knowing what she wants." Versus us — our mother cooks food and puts it in the fridge, maybe it's for her, and we come home at one o'clock in the morning and take it and eat it. I remember one sister in our community — she was a widow — she called me once and said, "Can you do me a favor? Just talk to my son about one thing. He always comes home late, one or two o'clock. I have diabetes — I prepare food for me to eat early in the morning. He comes at night and finishes it. Just tell him to not eat that, because that's the food I eat." Look at Zayn al-Abidin — look at the difference. Second thing he said: "I don't want to disturb her with my food as I'm eating." So this is the etiquette of being around people. Even when your father or mother are present — don't just drink and eat and chill. They also deserve your honor and respect.

The Fourth Etiquette: Adab al-Su'al — The Etiquette of Asking Questions

So that's the three things we covered so far. The last one — someone already mentioned it, so I'm going to go over it quickly because we only have two minutes left — is: as you're sitting in class, paying attention, enjoying it, respecting the teacher, Allah will open up things to you. And then what's going to happen is you may have questions. But there is also adab al-su'al — the etiquette of asking questions.

The first adab of asking questions: you should not be shy to ask something that you don't know. Don't be shy. Imam Mujahid رحمة الله عليه says:

"Two people can never learn knowledge — one, a person who is arrogant, because they will be too arrogant to sit in anyone's lectures, they will never be able to listen to someone. That is why the first quality a talib al-ilm must have is humility — because you have to be able to sit and take notes and listen to someone who is far younger than you. Some of the scholars coming here — some of you are old enough to be our parents. But this is the beauty of knowledge, that we listen from everyone, because الْحِكْمَةُ ضَالَّةُ الْمُؤْمِنِ — knowledge is the lost property of the believer. You take it from wherever you get it, whoever is helping you with it. So the first person who can never attain knowledge is the arrogant one, and the second is the one who is shy — too shy to ask. That person cannot attain knowledge either."

Abdullah ibn Abbas رضي الله عنهما — when he summarized how he became such a great scholar, he said two things:

"That's it — these two things I had, and because of that Allah kept giving me more knowledge. A tongue that asks good questions, relevant questions — we're going to go into good questions in a second — and a heart that is present." And because of those two things Allah kept giving him knowledge.

The Prophet ﷺ says about the women of the Ansar:

(Sahih Muslim, Book 3, Hadith 648)

"May Allah have mercy on the women of Ansar — shyness did not stop them from asking questions about the Deen." So we should ask questions.

What type of questions, and when should we ask them? First of all, every teacher has different adab. Some teachers appreciate asking questions at the end of class — and I think that's the general rule unless they tell you otherwise. The general rule is: ask at the end of class, unless they say you can ask while they're speaking. Sometimes before the speaker even finishes, you already have your hand up — that's disturbing, you're like a reporter now.

The second thing: when you're asking a question and the scholar says something that you heard something different about from another scholar — don't ask the question and say, "Shaykh Abdul Rahman, well Dr. Haifa said that was haram." Don't mention her name. Don't make scholars like a tennis ball you play with — "this scholar said that, that scholar said that." If you really want to know the answer, just say, "What do you think about this?"

The third thing: ask the question with the intent to act upon the answer, with the intent to correct what you're thinking. Don't ask to challenge the teacher. Because if you challenge the teacher, you're not going to be able to benefit from that teacher.

Allama Ibn al-Jama'a رحمة الله عليه says that Allah encourages asking questions for the one who intends to rid themselves of ignorance — not the one who wants to just challenge and compete with the teacher.

May Allah make it easy for us to act upon whatever was said and bring it to our lives. Remember — through etiquettes we will learn more, and we will elevate in our ranks in the eyes of Allah. If I said something that was offensive, forgive me.

Jazakallah khair. Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah.