The Friend Who Paves the Way to Hell | Message In A Passage Ep 7 | Ustadh Baajour

Insha'Allah ta'ala, bi-idhn Allah ta'ala, if Allah permits, this will be my last talk before I travel Tuesday to Hajj insha'Allah. And you know, one of the benefits of attending these kind of classes is that when I'm standing in Arafah, I'm going to raise my hands and I'm going to say, of course I'm not going to remember all your names, but I'm going to say, Ya Allah, Ya Rabb, every brother and sister who attends my Thursday halaqa, and then I start. Imagine that you do not attend, and you go stand outside for half an hour.

You lost all this du'a in Arafah. So and also all the brothers and sisters who are watching us, alhamdulillahi rabbil alameen. Today or tonight's ayah is from Surat al-Furqan, very, very important and I'm very happy to see a lot of youth because in many ways it relates to them.

Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said:

Alhamdulillah. And there will come a day on the Day of Judgment where the wrongdoer, listen to this, you know when someone regrets something, they bite on their hand, right? How did I do this? Listen to this:

Have you ever seen someone bite both hands at the same time? What does that mean? The level of regret is unbelievable. How can I bite? Allah said, he or she are biting on both hands and saying, I wish I have followed the way of Rasulullah ﷺ. I wish I took the path of Muhammad ﷺ. And then he said:

Oh, woe to me. I wish I did not take so and so as my best friend, my خليل. Why?

I was from the people of the حَلَقَات. I was from the people of the مساجِد. I was from the people of the جُمْعَة. I was from the people of seminars and دروس and حفظ classes. And then he came and whispered to me, أَضَلَّنِي He took me astray after things were great for me.

After the ذِكر came to me and I changed my life, and then this friend came to me and took me away.

The Story Behind the Revelation

What is, and this is the purpose of the talk, what is the reason for the revelation of these ayat? SubhanAllah. Remember this name, Uqba ibn Abi Mu'ait. This man, he was not a Muslim.

And he decided to invite all the leads of Quraysh. And also decided to invite Rasulullah ﷺ. Rasulullah ﷺ said, I will not attend until you become a Muslim. So the man said:

He took his shahadah. Rasulullah ﷺ came and attended. Before I continue, let me tell you who is this man, because you know the other story about him.

This man, Urwa ibn Zubayr narrated, and the hadith is in Bukhari. He said, I asked Abdullah ibn Umar, Urwa, he said, I asked Abdullah ibn Umar, What was the worst thing that the pagans of Quraysh did to Rasulullah ﷺ? He said, I saw Uqba ibn Abi al-Mu'ait coming to Rasulullah ﷺ while he was praying in the courtyard of the Kaaba. Abu Jahl and five people, including Uqba, were standing around the Kaaba and they saw Rasulullah ﷺ praying. So Abu Jahl challenged them, Who is going to take the intestines of a dead animal, the intestines, the blood, the stomach, and throw it at Muhammad while he was in his sujud? Uqba, same guy, ibn Abi Mu'ait, he is the one who volunteered.

And he took all that and he put it on the back of the Sharif, the back of Rasulullah ﷺ. And they said it was so heavy. And who took it out? Fatimah radiallahu anha. She came and she removed it from her father.

So he said, so when he was asked, what is the worst thing that ever happened from the kuffar of Quraysh to Rasulullah ﷺ? He remembered this hadith, this incident. He said they came and they put, Uqba came and put all that, and of course accompanied with the laughing and the joking and the sarcasm and the mocking of Rasulullah ﷺ.

Upon, and then Uqba came, Rasulullah ﷺ was praying. He took his sheet, maybe it says his sheet, it's a cover that maybe they put on their back. And he tied it in the neck of Rasulullah ﷺ, and he starts squeezing and squeezing and squeezing. Abu Bakr, he saw that, immediately he came and pushed Uqba, and he said the famous statement:

You want to kill a person just because he's saying, Allah is my Lord, and he came to you with all these بَيِّنَات, with all these clear proofs, that's why you're killing him?

The Influence of the Bad Friend

So, he came and invited, let me go back to the first story. So he came and invited Rasulullah ﷺ. So, the dinner is over. Uqba had a very, and this is where the story is coming to, Uqba had a khalil, best friend, called Ubay ibn Khalaf, very famous. Anybody knows what's so special about Ubay ibn Khalaf? There's something very, very special. Excellent.

He's the only man that Rasulullah ﷺ killed. He used to say, Ubay, he used to say, Ya Muhammad, you see this camel? I'm feeding it, and I'm feeding it, and I'm feeding it, so I can ride it one day and kill you. All the time, he used to make fun of Rasulullah ﷺ.

So, Ubay, he found out, best friend with Uqba, he found out he was in Sham. When that invitation took place, Ubay was traveling. When he came back, Ubay found out that Uqba became a Muslim. And they were very close, so he went to Uqba.

And he, when he first met him, he said, وجهي على وجهك حرام. It's haram for me to even say salam to you. This is how much I hate you now, because you've become a Muslim.

Why? He said, why? لقد صبعت. You became Sabi'i. They used to call anybody who followed Rasulullah ﷺ Sabi'i.

And he left, and he became a very evil person. So, please forgive me, we are very close. He said, the only way I will forgive you is if you do three things. Number one, you denounce Islam. You leave Islam. Number two, you spit in the face of Muhammad. And number three, you come up with the best curses you could ever think of, and you curse him.

And this man did all three. And the ayat were revealed.

Ya Muhammad, don't worry. This man, on the day of judgment, he's going to bite two hands. And he said, I wish I stayed. When I took the shahada, I wish I stayed with Muhammad. لَيْتَنِي. I wish I did not take Ubay as my best friend. Look what he did to me after I became a Muslim. Now when you read these ayat, you remember the story. Look what he did to me after I became a Muslim.

And Rasulullah ﷺ, he made du'a on all of the people who participated on that incident with throwing on his back, the intestines. And subhanAllah, at the battle of Badr, at the battle of Badr, he said, I saw every single one of them die. Every single one of them was killed in the battle of Badr.

Even Ubay, in the battle of Uhud, Rasulullah ﷺ, he hit him here on his neck. So somebody saw him, he said, no, no, no, it's just a wound. So Ubay said, I'm going to die from this. He said, no, I'm telling you, it's just a wound. He said, no, Muhammad promised he's going to kill me. And a few days later, he died.

The Danger of Bad Friends

What is the topic tonight? Who's your friend? Look at the danger of a friend. It's not just he got me into drugs, he got me into alcohol, he got me into adultery, he got me into riba, he got me into gambling, he got me into the hellfire. A friend could lead to the hellfire.

That's the first dalil, that's the first evidence. And the other evidence is when Rasulullah ﷺ was standing next to his uncle Abu Talib while he was on his deathbed. And he said, ya amma, oh uncle, please say la ilaha illa Allah so I can, you know, use it for you to go to Jannah.

And the bad friends, the bad company standing right there. على دين عبد المطلب, you want to leave the deen of your father under your forefathers? So Rasulullah ﷺ from here, and they from there, and then Abu Talib died by saying, على دين عبد المطلب. A bad friend, an evil friend, could lead to the hellfire.

Wallahi every time I speak to a person that went astray, ask anyone who went the wrong way, they will tell you, it was so-and-so who told me, try it once, only one sniff, only one sip, only one smoke, only one, only one, and then you're not a man. And the peer pressure, and all that, and they start following. And then, subhanAllah, unfortunately many times, wallahi many times, many times, it breaks your heart, it is too late for that child to be saved.

Because they went so deep, and so addicted. And if the parents talk to them, they think that the parents are being very strict, and they are being outdated, and backward. They do not know that their parents, you know, your father, your mother, knows way much more than you.

So please, watch who are your kids befriending. Rasulullah ﷺ said:

(Sahih al-Bukhari)

The person is on the path, is on the deen of his best friend.

قل لي من تعاشر أقول لك من أنت. There's a saying in Arabic, tell me who's your friend, I tell you who you are. الصاحب ساحب. The sahib, he pulls. سحب, he pulls. Either he pulls you, let's go, there's a halaqa at epic. Or he pulls you, let's go, there's a dance party, and so and so. He or she, they are the one who pulls you.

The Environment Effect

So, you have to, you know, you know when you bring a bottle of water, the bottle of water is liquid, right? You put it in the freezer, what happens? It freezes, right? Why? Because the environment is all frozen. Same thing, if I put myself in an environment, it's all away from Allah, naturally, I have to. Either you're going to become one of them or you're going to leave. There's no other, there's no third choice.

So, you are, the person is defined by who he hang out with. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said, look at the other side, completely opposite. The أخلاء is a plural of خليل.

Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said, that the أخلاء, on the day of judgment, بعضهم لبعض عدوا إلا المتقين. The best friends on the day of judgment, they become enemies of each other, except the متقين. May Allah make us all from the متقين.

The متقين would say, Oh, ya Allah, he used to always remind me if I miss a Salat. He used to tell me, let's go to this halaqa, let's go to Jumu'ah. Do this, do that, slow down when you're praying.

متقين, on the day of judgment, they are close. In this dunya, the very close friends, they would become enemies. You told me to do this, you taught me to do this. They became enemies, even though in this life, they were BFF. You know what BFF is? Best friends forever. Best friends till the day of judgment. Then we're going to split. SubhanAllah.

Protecting Our Children

So, it is extremely important to know who are we befriending, and at the same time, who are our kids are befriending.

Now, I will end with this. Can I spy on my kid's phone to find out who are his friends? I'm going to ask all the Muftis in the crowd. Can I spy on my daughter's phone to make sure that this applies? I'm afraid that he or she is talking to the wrong crowd.

Two opinions. You know, there's a story about this. There are two opinions. There was a Mufti in a village. Everybody loves him and everybody respects him, and he is not very knowledgeable. So, one time, someone very close to him died in a different village, and he traveled, and the traveling was like one month to go and one month to come back.

So, what is he going to do? He told his son, you take over. Be the Shaykh till I come back. He said, Baba, but I do not know how to do fatwa. He said, anybody ask you something, you say there are two opinions. This is where you are always safe. There's two opinions.

So, one guy noticed that every time, every matter, there is two opinions. So, he said, he came to him. He said, Is there any doubt about the existence of Allah? He said, well, there are two opinions. Come over here.

Building Trust with Our Children

So, okay, let's go back. So, can I? Okay. First of all, we have to really establish the trust between us and our children. If that is established between you and your son and your daughter, Wallahi, you don't have to do anything. But sometimes, we become so strict and scream and yell to the level that the child intentionally start hiding and not being open with the parents.

One of the parents should always have communication with the child. If both of them closed and they both constantly scream, haram, haram, and yelling and grounding and all that, then they're going to love to do things that annoy you. If you felt that there is a danger and you warned your child and he did not listen, then here it is allowed to do whatever it takes to protect my child.

But make sure, especially now when they are still young, 7, 8, 9, establish a relationship with them to make them very open with you because you don't know how much the peer pressure plays a huge role in distracting them and making them feel cool. And when they see the rest of the kids at school, especially when they go to public school, they disobey their parents. They want to do the same thing.

And I can tell you many, many stories about children that, subhanAllah, they come to me and they say, I cannot talk to my father. I can't. The minute I say something, he starts screaming and yelling. There's no way I can communicate. I even started lying in order for him to be quiet.

See, Akhwan, we all love our children. We all do everything possible. These are my investments. When I leave, they will make du'a for me. Everything that they do, I taught them. It will be in my hasanat. So I have to keep that line of communication open with them.

And like I said, please make always, constantly, make a lot of du'a, a lot of du'a for them that Allah will protect them and Allah will keep them steadfast.

Closing Du'a

May Allah, subhanAllah, protect our children. May Allah bless them with righteous company. May Allah protect them from their evil friends. May Allah fill all our homes with love and mercy and tranquility and peace. May Allah, subhanAllah, protect our parents. May Allah grant them the highest place in Jannah.