Finding True Role Models Amidst Social Media's Influence

Opening Glorification of Allah

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Respected audience, dear brothers and sisters, and honorable esteemed guests of Allah, let us start off with the glorification and the greatness of Allah. As any sermon, any khutbah, devoid of the mention of the greatness of Allah, remains incomplete.

O Allah, the eyes cannot see You, and thoughts cannot fathom You, and no one can give an accurate description of Allah. He knows the weight of the weightiest mountains, and the depths of the deepest oceans. Nothing can remain hidden from the sight and the vision of Allah. He is all-seeing and all-hearing.

Say, O Muhammad ﷺ, if the water that exists in the oceans of the planet earth were to be turned into ink, and all the trees that exist on the face of the planet were to be turned into pens, and the order is given for them to note down the glorification of Allah, the pens will perish, the ink will finish, and the glorification of Allah is still remaining.

Then we send peace and blessings and salawat upon Rasulullah ﷺ.

The eyes have not seen anything as beautiful as the face, the radiance of the face of Rasulullah ﷺ. And the women have not given birth to anyone as beautiful as Rasulullah ﷺ. You have been created devoid of all kinds of defects. There is no defect whatsoever in the personality and the entity of Rasulullah ﷺ. It is as if you yourself were given the choice of how you would like to be created.

As the Persian, the Farsi proverb goes: ba'd az khuda buzurg qissa-e mukhtasar.

The Crisis of Role Models: قَحْطُ الرِّجَال

Respected audience, dear brothers and sisters, there happens to be a term that exists amongst the scholarly circles — they call it qaht al-rijal. Qaht al-rijal is something that defines and denotes the lack of role models in this worldly life. We are living in times which were foretold by Rasulullah ﷺ:

(Sahih Muslim, Book 1, Hadith 186)

The fitan will come as dark as the darkness of night, one after the other. Just as the moment you feel like you have pulled yourself out of the fitna, out of the difficulty and the trial, you will land yourself into another one. These times were foretold by Rasulullah ﷺ.

And one of the biggest factors for us falling into one fitna after the other is due to the lack of role models. There are role models that are not present in our life.

What Is a Role Model?

It is mentioned according to statistics, 89 to about 90% of human beings have a role model that they look up to in their childhood. That could happen to be in the form of a parent, in the form of a teacher, mother, father, older sibling. We all look up to someone and our lives are unknowingly, involuntarily shaped by the beloved individuals that we have in our life.

Now, due to the current trends, and specifically the oversaturation of social media, each and every single person finds themselves in a screen, and they happen to be — na'udhu billah — worshipping the screen. Because whatever the screen is saying, whatever is being mentioned, we are accepting it as it is, without verifying anything, without finding out where it's coming from.

You know these rappers — most of us think, what do we have to do with them? But they exist within our homes. We don't know — our children unknowingly are clicking and clicking on TikTok and YouTube, and they end up watching these videos. And a youngster once came to me and he said that he heard something from a rapper, and he cannot take it out of his head. He said it keeps going around and around in his head. He was dreaming about it, and it's still going on in his head.

It's because these are the shaitani lyrics. If you ever paid attention and if you heard — just pay attention to what is being said, what's the content? And it's something that takes its place in the mind. It's the seed which is planted. And these are the type of the jali fitnahs that have been mentioned and discussed extensively in khutbahs.

So at the end of the day, what ends up happening is that this becomes a role model. This is what we're following, and most of the times it's happening unknowingly, in the absence of the parents.

The Role Model of the Father and Mother

In the past, the son would spend extensive time with his father. He would walk with his father to the masjid; at times the fathers would end up taking the children to work as well, so they would look up to the father. They will see that when the time for salah enters, the father lets go of everything. The moment he hears the adhan, his entire demeanor changes, and he rushes to the masjid. He will notice that when it comes to buying and selling, he would watch his father interacting with the people. He will see that the father is implementing the order of Allah in each and every single thing.

Then, his first madrasa — not a building — it would happen to be the lap of the mother. And he would find his mother to be very, very steadfast on the orders and the commandments of Allah. Then he would spend time with his teachers. And that's how the child would be shaped — and those would happen to be his role models. This happens to be the manifestation of a positive role model.

The Illusion of Celebrity Role Models

Now, due to social media, there are personalities being advertised. And when we look at them, even though the life which is being presented on the screen is much different than reality — how many times have we heard that a celebrity ended up overdosing? None of us knew that before. But then when the news comes out, you find out how difficult his life was. On the appearance, zahiri taur pe aisa lagta, as if they're living the life. They have all the luxuries of the world. But have you ever looked inside and paid attention to what's going on?

Even sometimes psychiatrists and doctors can tell you by looking at the face of a person that he's going through some trouble — he's not normal, he's not at peace. But since the life is being portrayed with the supercars and the homes and whatever treasures and riches you could think of, we start to think that these are the epic role models that we have to follow.

Positive and Negative Role Models

At times it happens that there's something called a negative role model. What is a negative role model? A negative role model is captured by the famous Urdu saying: ke hamne doosron ki bad-akhlaqi se achi akhlaq seekhi — we learned good character by witnessing the bad character of others. The negative role model is the one that you look at and you're immediately repelled. You look at the action happening from that individual and you say, "I don't want to be like him. I don't want to imitate this person." That happens to be the negative role model.

And each and every single human being needs both types of role models in their life — the good ones that they can see and want to imitate, and the negative ones, that when they see them, they don't want to be like them.

You know, in the past, when fathers or parents would be taking their children out, and on the street corners they would see some wayward youth, they would say: "Iski tarah nahi hona" — "Don't be like him." "Agar tumne padhai nahi ki, bilkul tum isi tarah ho jaoge" — "If you don't study in life, you will end up exactly like this." So each and every individual felt that sense of direction. And that's how these things were communicated from parents to children, and they would pick it up, and that's how they wanted to be in their life.

The Ultimate Role Model: Rasulullah ﷺ

Respected audience, dear brothers and sisters, for us as Muslims, there is no role model better than the entity of Rasulullah ﷺ. And Allah explicitly mentioned it in the Qur'an for the benefit of the ummah:

That all believers know and understand — in the example of Rasulullah ﷺ is a life that you want to imitate. And specifically for those who want to attain salvation in this life and the hereafter, the criteria that has been set by Allah is: you have to follow the sunnah of Rasulullah ﷺ to the minutest detail.

But how does that happen? Our current generation has a disconnect. We are not — even the ones who seem to pray apparently five times a day and are following the orders and commandments of Allah — we all feel the disconnect. The connection with Rasulullah ﷺ, that bond with him, is missing. Because in order for you to select someone as your role model, the first criteria that's mentioned is mahabba — is love. You need to love them.

Love of Allah and His Messenger Must Come First

And Allah mentioned that aspect — that do not be like those individuals who are going to follow the structure of deen but do not have the love for deen.

Say, O Rasulullah ﷺ, that if your fathers, your mothers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, and all the wealth that you accumulate — notice here that Allah did not stick only to the individuals that we have. Because the hubb, the love of the human being for material things, sometimes surpasses the love for these individuals. Aaj kal ke zamane mein hum kya dekhte hain? The moment money comes in, we go towards the money.

In the past we would hear that children would sacrifice. I myself personally know people who are working as physicians in the United States, but when their parents became ill, they left everything and went back. But now you don't find a generation like that. And sometimes they would beg their parents, "Why don't you come and live with us?" But the parents had such a fear — they had a phobia that they might die here in the land of the kuffar and they don't want to be buried here.

I myself know the example of my grandmother. My father would beg her and tell us it's very, very important that my children have your company, so they learn the traditions and everything they need to learn from the elders. But she would say, "I'm scared that I might end up dying here and I don't want to come." So many a times you still have those people who are going to sacrifice everything for the sake of their parents. But now this disease is taking its place in society.

So Allah not only mentioned the individuals, but He also mentioned the money that you accumulate, your trade, your work — are you willing to sacrifice that or not? And the homes that you buy and purchase, the dream house that you have. Tell them, O Rasulullah ﷺ, that if your love for these things surpasses the love of Rasulullah ﷺ and the love of the deen, then wait until Allah's wrath and His punishment descends upon you. And Allah does not guide the defiantly disobedient people.

So this is something that we need to think about — that yes, we do try to follow the structure of deen, but how much of a connection, a bond, and a love relationship do we have with Rasulullah ﷺ?

How Do We Attain That Love?

The question is, how do we attain that? We're living — once again — in times where these things are considered far-fetched. Even the mention of the love that the companions had for Rasulullah ﷺ, people say things like, "It sounds fake" — na'udhu billah. It's because we're so far away from those types of connections. We have developed such a connection for materialistic things that when things like these are mentioned, they are hard to believe.

The Story of Ja'far in the Court of the Abyssinian King

And when you look at the Sahabah, ridwanullahi ta'ala alayhim ajma'een, remember — they themselves told their stories. There is a famous message which was given by Ja'far ibn Abi Talib radhiallahu anhu, the cousin of Rasulullah ﷺ, in the court of the Abyssinian king.

When the first hijrah happened and the Muslims were persecuted in Mecca, they were given the order to do hijrah towards Habesha. And when they found peace over there, the mushrikeen of Mecca sent their men after them to try to bring them back. Ja'far radhiallahu anhu was summoned by the king, and he was told: present the case in front of the king on behalf of the Muslims.

So Ja'far radhiallahu anhu, interestingly, didn't start by saying, "We are very good people, we pay our taxes, you should keep us here." No. He said:

(Reported in Musnad Ahmad and al-Bidayah wan-Nihayah of Ibn Kathir, in the account of the First Hijrah to Abyssinia)

"We were a people who were on complete ignorance. We had no idea what a mother is, what a father is, what a daughter is, what a son is. The powerful individual would think that it was okay for him to consume the money and the wealth of the weaker individual. We would bury our daughters alive. This was our condition — until Allah sent upon us a messenger."

And this messenger — what did he do? Did he tell us, "You're all wrong and everything about you is bad"? No. He started to teach us. And he started from the very basics. He taught us the respect of relationships. And he taught us the recognition of Allah. Something that we are missing.

You know, when you take deen out of the equation, at times all goodness goes away. As Imam Ghazali rahimahullah wrote: there are only two things which keep mankind in check. Number one: their recognition of Allah. If they have the recognition of Allah, no matter how evil an individual is by his nature, if he is scared of Allah, he won't transgress the limits of Allah. The second thing he mentioned — which is quite rare — is the natural goodness that is to be found in every human being. And it's something that you can appeal to when the first one is missing.

And that's exactly what Rasulullah ﷺ did. These people were at the height of ignorance. So Rasulullah ﷺ appealed to their good nature and taught them the things that needed to be taught — just like a role model does. The basics of life were taught. Until all of those evil attributes and evil actions were taken out of them. And eventually, what did they become?

The same people who had no recognition of humanity whatsoever — now they're being given the title in this worldly life that Allah is happy with them, and they are happy with the decree of Allah. That is exactly what happened when they took Rasulullah ﷺ as their role model.

The Condition of True Iman: Love for the Prophet ﷺ

But remember, respected audience, dear brothers and sisters — before you select someone as your role model, there needs to be that aspect of hubb, the aspect of mahabba and love. That you look up to that individual and you're willing to emulate each and every single one of their actions.

I would like to conclude with the hadith of Rasulullah ﷺ in which he mentions:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 15; Sahih Muslim, Book 1, Hadith 70)

That none of you can be a true believer until I become the most beloved individual to him — even more than his progeny, his family members, and all the wealth that he has accumulated. That is when you are going to become a true believer.

May Allah give us the tawfiq and the understanding.

Second Khutbah

All praise is due to Allah, who does not hope to reveal the extremes except Him, and is not called upon to push the limits except Him. All creatures are weak except Him, and all people are in need except Him. There is none worthy of worship except Him.

And I bear witness that there is no god except Allah, alone, no partner to Him. And I bear witness that our master Muhammad is His servant and His messenger.

Allah says in His book, after seeking refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan:

May Allah bless us and you in the great Qur'an. And may He benefit us and you with what is in it of the verses and the wise remembrance. Indeed, He is Exalted in Might, Generous, Sovereign, Kind, Most Merciful.

All praise is due to Allah, alone. And peace and blessings be upon the Prophet ﷺ, after whom there is no prophet.

Allah says in His book:

O people, Allah, the Blessed and Exalted be He, has commanded you to do a great thing. He began with Himself, and He sent His angels to glorify His holiness. And He said:

O servants of Allah, may Allah have mercy on you. Fear Allah. Indeed, Allah commands justice, goodness, and giving to the neighbors. And forbids immorality, evil, and transgression. He warns you so that you may remember.

Announcements

Brothers are requested to please move forward in the rows so that there is space for the ones who are coming later. Please pass the donation boxes from left to right and donate generously. Sadaqah wards off calamities and difficulty. Rasulullah ﷺ said that sadaqah given on the day of Jumu'ah is greater in reward than any other day.

No curb parking. Do not park on the curbs behind the seminary building or the Swift Highway. We have additional parking spaces in the used car lot. Please do not park in the condo's parking lot.

Save the date for the No Tech Retreat 2024 — "Connecting with the Creator" — from February 17th to 18th with Sheikh Zakaria Patel, who is the Imam of Masjid al-Taqwa in Toronto, Canada.

Please join our program: Road to Ramadan — A Journey of Spiritual Preparation with Sheikh Ammar Ahmed, which will happen today after Salatul Isha at 7:30 PM.

Tafheem Weekend Islamic Studies Program Spring 2024 enrollment is open. Classes are online and onsite every weekend — Saturday track and Sunday track. Please enroll on the Darul Salam website.

Join us for our weekly programs. Team Fajr will continue tomorrow. Saturday Fajr Iqamah is at 6:15 AM. Tafseer of Surah al-Qasas continues on Tuesday with Mufti Azimuddin after Salatul Isha at 7:30 PM. Weekly Salawat and Khatira every Thursday after Salatul Isha.

Sisters' programs: Online Weekly Tafseer on Thursdays from 12 to 1 PM — register at the Darul Salam website. Monthly Dars on the first Sunday of every month followed by lunch from 12 to 2:30 PM. Youth Girls Program kick-off event for girls ages 13+ — join us for a day of activities and Halaqa on Saturday, February 3rd from 1:15 PM to 4:00 PM.

There is a request for Du'a-e-Shifa for Brother Atiq, one of our fellow colleagues who has been sick. Please make du'a for him. Brother Ghazanfar Iqbal and his wife got into a car accident a few hours ago and are currently in the ER. We request all the brothers to please make du'a for them. Also please make du'a for all of our brothers and sisters in Palestine. May Allah alleviate their difficulties and make all the issues easy for them.

New Muslim Declaration of Shahada

I am honored to announce that we will be welcoming a new Muslim in our ranks. All brothers are requested to please stay behind momentarily. Brother Chris, please come forward.

As stated by Rasulullah ﷺ:

(Sahih Muslim, Book 1, Hadith 121)

The moment a person accepts Islam, everything done in the past is forgiven by Allah. You just become like a newborn child without any sin.

Please take a moment on your way out to congratulate Brother Chris. Welcome to Islam!